Why can't I believe???

[exoflare]

Yes, I was going to say the same thing. It really is Satan trying to manipulate your thoughts. I’ve had the same thing happen to me before at times when I thought myself “unworthy” to set foot inside a church or even to pray at all. These are actually the times when we need to pray the most!

Even if you really don’t feel like praying, just start out by going through the motions somehow or make some kind of start. God will know you are making the effort, and He won’t leave you without help.

 

[Lux_et_veritas]

Catechesis helps because sometime doubt is rooted in ignorance. Once the answers start to come in it makes it easier. At the same time, when you run into something you don’t understand, pray for understanding, then tell God you are willing to accept it on faith alone (don’t funciton like doubting Thomas, reuqiring to touch the risen Lord to believe). In due time, at His choosing and if He so wills it, the understanding will come. This has happened so many times to me. I’ll be standing in a grocery store line and all of a sudden poof an understanindg of something I wanted to comprehend comes flooding in. I had prayed about it a week or two prior, but operated up until that time in trust.

Sometimes God withholds understanding to see if we will obey the teaching or doctrine, or if we will remain with him for the hour in prayer (when dryness sets in). So we need to look at these at tests.

 

[amantoan]

sarcophagus:

My friends tell me it’s the devil trying to toy with my mind, but I don’t know.

That sounds reasonable to me. No matter how sacred a church looks and feels compared to your own conscience, it is Jesus’ house and he welcomes everyone to come in (“knock, and it will be opened to you.” Lk 11-9). I’m sure you know that intellectually, so why would you have an irrational fear of going inside? Don’t underestimate the Devil and his tricks, he is real and he does want to destroy you. A priest told me once during confession that one of the Devil’s favorite tricks is to convince us that we are worse than we really are. It is an effective tactic because, as you are discovering, it keeps us from approaching the Lord. That used to be a problem for me. After committing certain sins, I would feel so bad about it that I would feel unworthy to even pray to God. Consequently things got even worse until I finally went to confession. Now I have learned to keep praying no matter how guilty I feel, even if the pray is nothing but profuse apologies. You have to get a foot in the door. Try saying an Our Father right now.

 By the way, when you were using drugs were into any occult stuff?  If so, that could be part of the problem too.

 

[sarcophagus]

I dabbled when I was 12 with an ouija board once, and read some wicca books (didnt do spells, just for the reading as my friend was wicca and I wanted to learn about it) but that’s it nothing to scary.

 

[Robin_L.in_TX]

sarcophagus,

Are you Catholic? I tried to read all the answers you received, but didn’t see whether you are or not.

First off, faith and belief are not feelings, but acts of will. I can’t repeat this point enough. Though we all wish we felt the warm, fuzzy feelings we think faith should give us, many of us do not, some not at all. Mother Teresa lived most of her life in a dry spell. She made prayer, Mass, and Eucharistic adoration her discipline, then spent her life trying to do God’s will. And look what she accomplished NOT feeling the warm fuzzy feelings of faith.

About not feeling worthy, just remember that God loves you so much He sent His only Son to die upon the Cross so that you might be saved. There is no sin, no matter how grave, that is bigger than God’s love for you! If you are truly sorry for it, God will forgive it. If you are Catholic, I highly urge you to go to confession so that you will hear Jesus’ words of forgiveness in the confessional.

Through the sacramental grace of Reconciliation, you will also be strengthened against falling back into sin. If you do fall, immediately repent and begin again. We all do it, even St. Paul, but with God’s grace we can overcome our sin and try to do God’s will. If Catholic, receiving Holy Communion will also help you overcome the tendency to sin and strengthen you on your journey.

At the same time, ask around at your chruch, and find a way to use the talents God gave you to help others. Sometimes, we help ourselves best by helping others. God created us to be like Him, loving and self-giving.

May God bless you on your journey, but please remember, the harder this is for you, the greater graces God will give you if you ask Him for them. May our Blessed Mother enfold you within her mantle, offering you comfort, and her intercession.

In Christ’s peace and love,

Robin L. in TX

 

[catholiccoug]

Hey, just keep at it! You don’t know what is really going on in your friends hearts. Conversion is a process, not a destination. Everyday we have to make the decision to believe and continue on. Belief is a choice, not a feeling. If you know it’s the truth, continue to believe it and work through your doubts. Most importantly, coninually ask God that He grant you faith and protect you from doubt. God bless you!

 

[Genesis315]

I keep a list of “proofs” of God so if I ever start doubting, I can remind myself. They are personal experiences, seemingly miraculous answers to prayers, etc. They would probably be meaningless to anyone else but me. I’m adding to it quite often. What inspired me was actually a book called “Waiting for Snow in Havana” where the author throughout makes a list of things he experiences that prove God exists.

 

[springbreeze]

Dear friend

Everyone has given you wise and good replies.

One more thing I thought you could actively do that will help you.

Sit down with your Bible and read any Gospel from the New Testament and prove to yourself that all that is written there is not relevant to life today.

I promise you, you will not be able to do it.

It is truth and it is all relevant. Doing this often strengthens faith.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa

 

[Diana_Maria]

sarcophagus:

Thanks to all who replied. I can tell you that since I quit drugs, I haven’t been able to pray or much less think of God. I don’t know why that is. I want to but it never happens. It weird to explain it this way but I have yet to set foot in a church because I feel as if I will defile it in some way. That I am not at all worthy of being in the building. I sometimes walk past it thinking “I’m gonna do it this time, I’ll go in and pray” but once I get there, this feeling comes over me that I am not allowed in there and it’s such a strong feeling that I end up not bothering. I don’t know where this comes from or why it is happening. My friends tell me it’s the devil trying to toy with my mind, but I don’t know.

Congratulations on being clean. That is huge and you should add that to your list of gratitudes. I’m a recovering alcoholic and found that after becoming sober, I struggled a lot in my faith. For me it was because I was seeing the world without the drug to numb me… I was feeling real and it was scary. I know from experience that is probably why you can’t sit with the Lord… I wanted to run away too. Isn’t that what doing drugs/drinking allows us to do - run away from it all? Sitting in silence took practice for me and i’m still working on it. You see, when we do drugs or drink we fill that lonely place in our hearts that only God can fill. When we stop, we are trying to figure out how to be truthful with ourselves, open up, be reflective, develop relationships - especially with God.

Resisting church? Wouldn’t Satan just love for that to happen. Don’t play the game. GO TO CHURCH. You want to, God want’s you to. Satan wants you away (with that strong feeling you spoke of). Who wins? Your soul is worth more than that. Go in. Don’t wory about being afraid. You may be, so allow that to be ok for now. Just go in. Don’t be afraid to ask God for the srength to pray. Like it has been said, don’t expect warm fuzzies. Faith is not a feeling, it is a choice. Choose it. Walk past the fear and doubt (satans tools) and go in.

I prayed at Mass for you on Sunday. I will continue to do so.

 

[puzzleannie]

atheos_sum:

Wow, i never knew it was so hard for Christians themselves to actually believe. Why do you guys put yourselves through this mental torture?

Also, if faith is a gift from God, then it’s God’s fault you don’t have it.

wrong, the gift is ours for the asking, be we must ask sincerely, constantly, and with a will to receive and act upon the gift. if we are not receiving it, usually it is because we really don’t want it because we don’t want to go through the process of conversion that faith demands, Many times we have chosen creatures and created things over God, using these as barriers to His wish to shower us with His gifts. The rain is His free gift, too, but if I am wearing an umbrella and raincoat, I probably won’t get wet.

Sarcophagus says she got off drugs, for which we praise and thank God, and had the will to pray but found it very difficult. I am reminded of Jesus’ warning about the swept and garnished house, from which 7 devils were removed, and when it was clean, 70 more dangerous demons came to set up residence. Our vigilance must be constant, and I think any one who has been in therapy for any kind of addiction has heard that the bad habit must be replaced with good habits for the reform to be successful. We know from her previous posts that she is struggling mightily to do this, and has come a long way.