sarcophagus,
Are you Catholic? I tried to read all the answers you received, but didn’t see whether you are or not.
First off, faith and belief are not feelings, but acts of will. I can’t repeat this point enough. Though we all wish we felt the warm, fuzzy feelings we think faith should give us, many of us do not, some not at all. Mother Teresa lived most of her life in a dry spell. She made prayer, Mass, and Eucharistic adoration her discipline, then spent her life trying to do God’s will. And look what she accomplished NOT feeling the warm fuzzy feelings of faith.
About not feeling worthy, just remember that God loves you so much He sent His only Son to die upon the Cross so that you might be saved. There is no sin, no matter how grave, that is bigger than God’s love for you! If you are truly sorry for it, God will forgive it. If you are Catholic, I highly urge you to go to confession so that you will hear Jesus’ words of forgiveness in the confessional.
Through the sacramental grace of Reconciliation, you will also be strengthened against falling back into sin. If you do fall, immediately repent and begin again. We all do it, even St. Paul, but with God’s grace we can overcome our sin and try to do God’s will. If Catholic, receiving Holy Communion will also help you overcome the tendency to sin and strengthen you on your journey.
At the same time, ask around at your chruch, and find a way to use the talents God gave you to help others. Sometimes, we help ourselves best by helping others. God created us to be like Him, loving and self-giving.
May God bless you on your journey, but please remember, the harder this is for you, the greater graces God will give you if you ask Him for them. May our Blessed Mother enfold you within her mantle, offering you comfort, and her intercession.
In Christ’s peace and love,
Robin L. in TX