Why can't I get pregnant?

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mrs_abbott

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I’m trying not to let it get me down but sometimes it’s hard. By the way, I currently have a son who’s two years old (not planned) so this wouldn’t be my first pregnancy but it would be my husband’s first child.
I’ve been trying to monitor my fertility signs but I have VERY irregular CM and my fertile times are NEVER the same month after month.
It gets REALLY hard when I come across folks who are pregnant and don’t want to be, like a gal I work with and my friend who already has two boys and just found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to be.
I’m offering this all up to God to keep me from being jealous instead of happy for these moms-to-be.
It’s just hard and we’ve been trying to get pregnant for 6 months now. 😦
Anyone have any advice or suggestions?
 
Relax (I know, easier said than done…and this is coming from a woman who’s pregnant, so you may want to gag me)! 🙂

My parents went through infertility for 10 years, with one miscarriage during that time…then God blessed them with four miracles! Be patient…God’s timing is not always ours :).

You will be in my prayers!
 
lotusblossom said:
Relax (I know, easier said than done…and this is coming from a woman who’s pregnant, so you may want to gag me)! 🙂

My parents went through infertility for 10 years, with one miscarriage during that time…then God blessed them with four miracles! Be patient…God’s timing is not always ours :).

You will be in my prayers!
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I really am happy for those who are pregnant! I love little babies!!!
Plus, my first wasn’t planned but I can’t imagine my life without him so I try and think of others with unplanned pregnancies the same way. 🙂
I’m just frustrated and needed to vent, I guess.
 
Go to your OB and ask for advice.

Are you sure you’re ovulating? I’m assuming you’re charting???
Are you taking your prenatals regularly?
Is your diet consistant?

Do some google searches on increasing your chances of pregnancy… some ideas…
~drink green tea
~take mucinex or robitussin (active ingredient is guaifenesin) to increase your fertile mucous consistancy
~if your DH carries a cell phone… tell him NOT to carry it on his belt or in his pocket… the RF waves tend to damage the little swimmers…
~etc, etc… there are lots of hints out there…

I sympathize… we were ttc 9 months before conceiving our 2nd baby… so these were hints I picked up during that time…
 
mrs abbott, have your heard of the FertilityCare Centers of America? They are affiliated with the Pope Paul VI Institute, are solidly Catholic, and, from what I’ve heard, very reliable. They won’t advise you to do anything against Church teaching, but will treat you as your body needs to help you be able to conceive.
 
If your fertility cycles are irrregular, six months is not such a long time to be working on becoming pregnant. That’s only 6 ovulations if you’re regular, and if you’re not regular it could be fewer.

The sympto-thermal method of NFP taught by the Couple to Couple League was for us just as informative about how to become pregnant as it was about how to delay becoming pregnant. I highly recommend ALL couples take CCL family planning courses even if only for the sake of knowledge.

I know 6 months is a long time in simple time, but it’s not the time but the timing that matters, right?!?😉

You can find a local teaching couple for the CCL here: ccli.org/learn/tcsearch.php . I can’t recommend it enough! Even folks with irregularities can use this method, and what’s really really wonderful about them is the counselors are there for you anytime. They’re volunteers usually. I scan my charts and e-mail them to my teachers and they send me back their thoughts and suggestions on what we’re doing right or wrong for our current needs regarding our fertility. Our teaching couple happens to also be Catholic which is so wonderful.

God bless! Relax, be patient, and pray. God will give you what is best for you. Have faith in Him.
 
Em_in_FL said:
~if your DH carries a cell phone… tell him NOT to carry it on his belt or in his pocket… the RF waves tend to damage the little swimmers…
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Are you serious about this one? He has a little clip that he’ll clip it to his jeans’ pocket or he’ll just carry it directly in his pocket.
 
I would tell you to just relax, enjoy your little one and know that when the time is ‘right’, it will happen.
Stressing over pregnancy, or the lack thereof, is usually the problem.
I know two women personally who did the whole testing, fertility treatment thing and still could not get pregnant. One went 7 years and one ten years.
Each one finally adopted and focused on that child.
Within 1and 1/2 years afterward, each was pregnant.
 
Della said:
mrs abbott, have your heard of the FertilityCare Centers of America? They are affiliated with the Pope Paul VI Institute, are solidly Catholic, and, from what I’ve heard, very reliable. They won’t advise you to do anything against Church teaching, but will treat you as your body needs to help you be able to conceive.
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I want to second this. Have you heard about the NaProTechnology aspect of the Creighton Method?

Also, I know people mean well, but telling someone who want to be pregnant & isn’t to “just relax” is a wee irritating. (Maybe it’s just me, & the OP’s not affected by it; if so, scratch that!):o

Everybody’s different in how they might deal with this, but I’ve found that getting busy and learning more, trying more options, and working with my ob/gyn to seriously try to p(name removed by moderator)oint the issue is more helpful.

Also: Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon was a **major **eye-opener! There is so much good info here to start implementing, and at least you’ll feel like your doing all you can to give God a healthy womb.🙂
 
I would second (or third) the advice you’ve gotten. Take classes in the Creighton model. You’ll go from “trying” to monitor your fertility signs to knowing for sure. Read the Fertility Cycles and Nutrition, and also The Family Nutrition Book by Dr. Sears.
And have dh switch to boxers. 👍 LOL

You really do need to relax about it. RELAX NOW. JUST RELAX!!! ARE YOU RELAXED YET??? 😛

I don’t know if you are/were nursing your ds, but you also could have decreased fertility due to that if it applies. My ds and dd are spaced naturally 3 years apart, the shortest spacing we were able to achieve.
 
Maybe it’s not you, maybe your husband has fertility issues. There are books on some things men can do to increase viable sperm.
 
mrs_abbott said:
Are you serious about this one? He has a little clip that he’ll clip it to his jeans’ pocket or he’ll just carry it directly in his pocket.
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Very serious! Tell him to carry it in another way…

timesonline.co.uk/article/0,3-2417951,00.html
foxnews.com/story/0,2933,224518,00.html?sPage=fnc.health/pregnancy
news.com.com/Chat+on+cell+phone,+become+infertile/2100-11395_3-6128947.html

I work in the wireless industry… and the power of the signals required by those little phones is pretty significant.

I would personally never use a bluetooth device that close to my head… and I try to use the wired earpiece for my cell phone as much as possible… that way the RF signals aren’t pointing straight at my head!

I don’t think there have been enough medical studies on the effects of microwave/RF signals on the human body…
 
Em_in_FL said:
Very serious! Tell him to carry it in another way…

timesonline.co.uk/article/0,3-2417951,00.html
foxnews.com/story/0,2933,224518,00.html?sPage=fnc.health/pregnancy
news.com.com/Chat+on+cell+phone,+become+infertile/2100-11395_3-6128947.html

I work in the wireless industry… and the power of the signals required by those little phones is pretty significant.

I would personally never use a bluetooth device that close to my head… and I try to use the wired earpiece for my cell phone as much as possible… that way the RF signals aren’t pointing straight at my head!

I don’t think there have been enough medical studies on the effects of microwave/RF signals on the human body…
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I read the links and they do support alot of evidence TOWARD male infertility for those who carry them near their waist.
I told my hubby about it and he’s now carrying his phone in his coat pocket. 👍
 
cheddarsox said:
Maybe it’s not you, maybe your husband has fertility issues. There are books on some things men can do to increase viable sperm.
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We already know that it’s him. I think he has a low sperm count. I went to the hospital when I miscarried back in October and they did a bunch of tests on me. Nothing is wrong with my internals. They think that I have an irregular luteal phase and that makes it hard to determine EXACT fertility.
We’ve pretty much given up and we’ll just gonna see what happens. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. :o
 
I’ve been trying to monitor my fertility signs but I have VERY irregular CM and my fertile times are NEVER the same month after month.
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Your body is recovering from a miscarriage in October. It can take some time for cycles to become regular.
It gets REALLY hard when I come across folks who are pregnant and don’t want to be, like a gal I work with and my friend who already has two boys and just found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to be.
I’m offering this all up to God to keep me from being jealous instead of happy for these moms-to-be.
It’s just hard and we’ve been trying to get pregnant for 6 months now.
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You are normal. I felt the same way when we were TTC. I wish I had some great wise words to comfort you, but I will say a prayer for you.
Nothing is wrong with my internals.
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Not to be discouraging, but they can’t rule out blocked fallopian tube, endometriosos, etc.
They think that I have an irregular luteal phase and that makes it hard to determine EXACT fertility.
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I know you must get tired of this, but charting will help. If you haven’t been able to get started with Creighton, call your nearest FertilityCare Center or the Pope Paul VI Insititute. Or PM me.

I will keep you in my prayers.
 
mrs_abbott said:
We already know that it’s him. I think he has a low sperm count. I went to the hospital when I miscarried back in October and they did a bunch of tests on me. Nothing is wrong with my internals. They think that I have an irregular luteal phase and that makes it hard to determine EXACT fertility.
We’ve pretty much given up and we’ll just gonna see what happens. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. :o
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Hmmm… well I’d ask both his doctor and your OB if they recommend any vitamins that may help your husband…

I know when I went to discuss our conceiving issues with my OB, they put BOTH DH and I on a prenatal vitamin… and DH said he definitely noticed a “difference” (I think the vitamins made him a little… shall we say… anxious to conceive! :rolleyes:)… he honestly noticed a difference in his sex-drive…
 
Em_in_FL said:
Hmmm… well I’d ask both his doctor and your OB if they recommend any vitamins that may help your husband…

I know when I went to discuss our conceiving issues with my OB, they put BOTH DH and I on a prenatal vitamin… and DH said he definitely noticed a “difference” (I think the vitamins made him a little… shall we say… anxious to conceive! :rolleyes:)… he honestly noticed a difference in his sex-drive…
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lol . . . we might have to do that. I’ve been taking prenatal vitamins since the miscarriage in October so I’ll see what our family doctor can do for my dh.
Thanks for all the advice! I really do appreciate it because I was getting VERY discouraged.
 
Well, you’ve already been told about NaPro and FertilityCare in other posts, so I won’t mention those again (except that I just did! 😉 ) They are the BEST starting point. If that doesn’t work quickly enough, then…

See a reproductive endocrinologist. These drs are more highly trained than regular OB/GYNs, especially if there are hormonal issues. I had 3 different OBs misdiagnose my PCOS before I went to a RE, he took one look at me and said “You have PCOS. Let’s go do an ultrasound to confirm”, which it did. :rolleyes: Especially with the history of miscarriage, you need a thorough checkup, including hormone levels. But also start the workup on your husband, since he has not had other kids it could be his issue, not yours. Check out www.popepaulvi.com for more info on what to look for. I feel your pain, we tried for 10 years to get this last baby from when our first was born. Be careful with the RE though, they may try to push IVF and other non-acceptable treatments, so start with a good knowledge of what is and isn’t approved by the Church, which you will get from NaPro, FertilityCare, or Pope Paul VI Institute. Good luck!
 
Teakafrog said:
See a reproductive endocrinologist. These drs are more highly trained than regular OB/GYNs, especially if there are hormonal issues.
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ANOTHER very very good point!

I had some major thyroid problems after both my pregnancies (hyperthyroidism), and my endocrinologist was incredible in helping me understand my hormonal levels and what was going on with my body and my fertility. I had to get a lot of blood work done…
 
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