Why can't I succeed at anything?

[Sailor_Kenshin]

A job that I can love getting up in the morning to go to.
A wife that respects me and desires me.
To use my talents to the best of my abilities.
Everything else is pretty good.

These are good things.

But how can anyone here give that to you?

You ask for no encouragement, no prayer…I’m at a loss.

 

[Cat]

A job that I can love getting up in the morning to go to.
A wife that respects me and desires me.
To use my talents to the best of my abilities.
Everything else is pretty good.

I still say that you are being unrealistic in your expectations, especially when it comes to the job.

Many MANY many people have jobs that they dislike, dread, or even hate. But they keep getting up and going to them anyway.

Many of our parents (mainly our fathers) had backbreaking, dirty jobs that they hated. But they kept going to them because they were grateful to have a way to earn a living and support their families.

Perhaps instead of defining success as a job that you love getting up for, work on developing acceptance and gratefulness for the job that you have. And perhaps work on developing a positive attitude towards that job–find things about it that you DO like. It’s hard, I know. I’ve had my ups and downs with my job (hospital lab) over the years, especially with the people. But right now, I’m in a mode of gratefulness for the job. Hope to stay that way.

 

[LegoGE1947]

I still say that you are being unrealistic in your expectations, especially when it comes to the job.

Many MANY many people have jobs that they dislike, dread, or even hate. But they keep getting up and going to them anyway.

Many of our parents (mainly our fathers) had backbreaking, dirty jobs that they hated. But they kept going to them because they were grateful to have a way to earn a living and support their families.

Perhaps instead of defining success as a job that you love getting up for, work on developing acceptance and gratefulness for the job that you have. And perhaps work on developing a positive attitude towards that job–find things about it that you DO like. It’s hard, I know. I’ve had my ups and downs with my job (hospital lab) over the years, especially with the people. But right now, I’m in a mode of gratefulness for the job. Hope to stay that way.

I’ve heard that forklift drivers have ups and downs on their jobs as well!

 

[Cricket2]

I’m in my 50s and I still fail at everything I do. Even after prayer, college and work I fail at everything. Nothing changes. Please spare the the prayers and encouragement. NOTHING CHANGES IN LIFE.

I suspect the real problem here is not failure. Rather, it is how a lot of us can get trapped into measuring success or determine what is success.

1. Wealth is not a sign of success. Good fortune perhaps, but not success, especially if it is gained at the expense of others or dishonestly.
2. Desired Job. Have you had to work at jobs you don’t like? Have you never been able to attain the job of your dreams? Well, that is not failure either. Too many folks (I did it myself) get degrees or certificates with a certain career in mind and then land up not being able to pursue that career. Or they discover that particular career is not all it was cracked up to be. Illness gets in the way, promotions get passed over, economies crash and trends fade away. And maybe, just maybe God knows that your specific career dreams will lead you down a road to sin and destruction so he closes the door for you.
3. Being popular is not a sign of success.

My point is, what are you using as a sign that you are successful? Marriage, remaining single, having all you want and desire, the absence of troubles?

Success should be measured in terms of your ability to be kind, compassionate, willingness to forgive, to help others, to be honest and patient. These are signs of success in progress. The rest is superficial distraction. Try to re-evaluate your life in terms of your willingness to be generous, forgive, your ability to be compassionate, patient, and helpful. Not in terms of desired job, having children, wealth or health.

 

[LegoGE1947]

I suspect the real problem here is not failure. Rather, it is how a lot of us can get trapped into measuring success or determine what is success.

1. Wealth is not a sign of success. Good fortune perhaps, but not success, especially if it is gained at the expense of others or dishonestly.
2. Desired Job. Have you had to work at jobs you don’t like? Have you never been able to attain the job of your dreams? Well, that is not failure either. Too many folks (I did it myself) get degrees or certificates with a certain career in mind and then land up not being able to pursue that career. Or they discover that particular career is not all it was cracked up to be. Illness gets in the way, promotions get passed over, economies crash and trends fade away. And maybe, just maybe God knows that your specific career dreams will lead you down a road to sin and destruction so he closes the door for you.
3. Being popular is not a sign of success.

My point is, what are you using as a sign that you are successful? Marriage, remaining single, having all you want and desire, the absence of troubles?

Success should be measured in terms of your ability to be kind, compassionate, willingness to forgive, to help others, to be honest and patient. These are signs of success in progress. The rest is superficial distraction. Try to re-evaluate your life in terms of your willingness to be generous, forgive, your ability to be compassionate, patient, and helpful. Not in terms of desired job, having children, wealth or health.

My idea of success now would be if I could pick up a tool and actually do something with it without my hands trembling. This includes screwdrivers, wrenches, even pencils. I had an assessment at the local VA clinic where the doctor gave me a pencil and had me draw a spiral and I couldn’t do it without the line being all crooked. Ever try to use a paring knife or vegetable peeler with your hand shaking? Or if I could put an item together without it turning into just a glob of “nothing” Seems nothing I do ever turns out right. I have a 50% disability from the military service, so that’s my story:shrug:

 

[Cricket2]

My idea of success now would be if I could pick up a tool and actually do something with it without my hands trembling. This includes screwdrivers, wrenches, even pencils. I had an assessment at the local VA clinic where the doctor gave me a pencil and had me draw a spiral and I couldn’t do it without the line being all crooked. Ever try to use a paring knife or vegetable peeler with your hand shaking? Or if I could put an item together without it turning into just a glob of “nothing” Seems nothing I do ever turns out right. I have a 50% disability from the military service, so that’s my story:shrug:

I am sorry to hear this. I understand how you feel, believe me. One of the saddest things our society seems to do is judge people based on physical and mental ability. Having a disability does not make you a failure. Those who fail to understand and have compassion towards those who suffer with disabilities are the ones who are failing.

I have suffered chronic illness for the majority of my life, and believe me I understand that the limitations an illness or disability can circle you with are hard to handle and do shut a lot of doors. But please let me assure you this is not failure on your part. That is society talking to you, and people without hearts.

Is there any chance that you have story that would help others if they had a chance to read it? Could you write something about your own Faith Journey that would inspire others? I wish so much I could send you a touch of relief for how you feel. I know what it is, and I had to come to terms with accepting my limits in order to find different skills and talents. It was not and is not easy.

My sister is very ill and losing so many abilities now, and the hardest thing for her to endure is that loss and feeling useless. I tell her everyday she is not useless because she can’t do what she used to do. Neither are you. You are not a failure and you are not useless.

 

[esieffe]

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Click to enlarge.

 

[ClearWater]

I was not a Bob under another name on this forum.

I called and emailed a local volunteer group around 4 times. I am so disappointed they never got back to me. What a disappointment.

Do you know how many times I’ve tried to volunteer before it worked? Well, in Alabama, I tried tutoring ESL at one volunteer place, wasn’t a good fit. I tried working as a volunteer, 2 places…neither was really calling me enough. I ended up working as a professional interpreter instead. lol

Then, ultimately, I found Goodwill Easter Seals.

I also tried different times to work at the prison. It never, ever worked out. I tried I guess 3 times to work at the prison in Mexico. They wouldn’t let me, too dangerous.

I took a bus to the hospital here in Mexico, asked if they needed help. They said they don’t use volunteers.

I tried going at least 3 times to a Casa where I used to volunteer, called other times, didn’t work out. I tried volunteering with IEEA. My students didn’t show up in the end, despite the fact I was going to their homes.

I once took a bus to another city…2 buses, I believe. I met with someone, asked them if they needed literacy volunteers at juvenile detention, and I was told “no”, that they were good.

I tried here at the Church, asked if they needed help, was told, “no”.

FINALLY, after these attempts, and probably more, I stumbled across the blind organiztion 3 blocks from my house. I started reading to a visually impaired 17 y.o. who’s lived a hard life. His books weren’t in Braille, and I was also a tutor with IEEA.

I started gradually like that in Dec. I started to expand out. Now, I go 4 hours on Saturdays, too, help teach children, teens, and adults, skills of daily living. I’m teaching the children how to make cord rosaries, and they LOVE it! One’s mother went out, is going to buy materials so that her daughter can make them at the house.

I’m teaching some of the guys how to play chess…how to move the pieces. I work with a man on computer, the talking program, Jaws.

One day a week, I’m learning Braille, and I’ve more or less learned the alphabet.

The abacus has got me down, but whether I stay with it or not, that’s, to me, irrelevant. The attempt is what counts, that I cared enough to try, give it my best effort. Whether I succeed is less important.

I’m very persistant. I’m not smarter or anything but get what I’ve gotten because I don’t give up easily when I put my mind to something. I generally keep going till SOMETHING works.

In my interpreting, I called them up, was told they didn’t need any interpreters. I asked to send in my resumé, anyway. She said, “Okay”. I was hired for one job…nothing for months…a few times in the summer, then nothing. Finally, it got cranked, but it was definitely no immediate, quick thing, either.

Oh, and my references from my volunteering is what I used when I went to be professional interpreter. My references were in fact so good that my supervisor hired me without ever having actually met me!

 

[ClearWater]

If you want to volunteer, and one place doesn’t get back, try somewhere else…keep trying till something comes together. I believe it will.

 

[the_phoenix]

Excellent … persistence pays!

:clapping: :yup:

Do you know how many times I’ve tried to volunteer before it worked? Well, in Alabama, I tried tutoring ESL at one volunteer place, wasn’t a good fit. I tried working as a volunteer, 2 places…neither was really calling me enough. I ended up working as a professional interpreter instead. lol

Then, ultimately, I found Goodwill Easter Seals.

I also tried different times to work at the prison. It never, ever worked out. I tried I guess 3 times to work at the prison in Mexico. They wouldn’t let me, too dangerous.

I took a bus to the hospital here in Mexico, asked if they needed help. They said they don’t use volunteers.

I tried going at least 3 times to a Casa where I used to volunteer, called other times, didn’t work out. I tried volunteering with IEEA. My students didn’t show up in the end, despite the fact I was going to their homes.

I once took a bus to another city…2 buses, I believe. I met with someone, asked them if they needed literacy volunteers at juvenile detention, and I was told “no”, that they were good.

I tried here at the Church, asked if they needed help, was told, “no”.

FINALLY, after these attempts, and probably more, I stumbled across the blind organiztion 3 blocks from my house. I started reading to a visually impaired 17 y.o. who’s lived a hard life. His books weren’t in Braille, and I was also a tutor with IEEA.

I started gradually like that in Dec. I started to expand out. Now, I go 4 hours on Saturdays, too, help teach children, teens, and adults, skills of daily living. I’m teaching the children how to make cord rosaries, and they LOVE it! One’s mother went out, is going to buy materials so that her daughter can make them at the house.

I’m teaching some of the guys how to play chess…how to move the pieces. I work with a man on computer, the talking program, Jaws.

One day a week, I’m learning Braille, and I’ve more or less learned the alphabet.

The abacus has got me down, but whether I stay with it or not, that’s, to me, irrelevant. The attempt is what counts, that I cared enough to try, give it my best effort. Whether I succeed is less important.

I’m very persistant. I’m not smarter or anything but get what I’ve gotten because I don’t give up easily when I put my mind to something. I generally keep going till SOMETHING works.

In my interpreting, I called them up, was told they didn’t need any interpreters. I asked to send in my resumé, anyway. She said, “Okay”. I was hired for one job…nothing for months…a few times in the summer, then nothing. Finally, it got cranked, but it was definitely no immediate, quick thing, either.

Oh, and my references from my volunteering is what I used when I went to be professional interpreter. My references were in fact so good that my supervisor hired me without ever having actually met me!

 

[ClearWater]

Excellent … persistence pays!

:clapping: :yup:

Thank you.