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MainBrain
Guest
I’m in my 50s and I still fail at everything I do. Even after prayer, college and work I fail at everything. Nothing changes. Please spare the the prayers and encouragement. NOTHING CHANGES IN LIFE.
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po18guy
Well-known member
My thoughts: This is your cross. If you have borne it for 50 years, clearly you have received the strength to carry it. As well, such difficulties in life can serve to inspire contemplation of the next life, where there can and will be no such problems.
As difficult as it is to embrace, we are called to be content with our discontents. Me? I am a klutz. My entire life, I have had a problem with motion. Bumping into things. Hitting my head on everything within head-reach. Knocking things over. Tripping. Getting hands and feet tangled in things. Since chemotherapy caused nerve damage, it has only gotten worse. Now, added onto all of that, I routinely drop things. Frustrating? Sure, but also humbling and even humorous if I allow it to be.
I don’t worry about this life so much anymore, as it will be over soon enough. Pain is temporary. Victory is forever.
As difficult as it is to embrace, we are called to be content with our discontents. Me? I am a klutz. My entire life, I have had a problem with motion. Bumping into things. Hitting my head on everything within head-reach. Knocking things over. Tripping. Getting hands and feet tangled in things. Since chemotherapy caused nerve damage, it has only gotten worse. Now, added onto all of that, I routinely drop things. Frustrating? Sure, but also humbling and even humorous if I allow it to be.
I don’t worry about this life so much anymore, as it will be over soon enough. Pain is temporary. Victory is forever.
A
Ambien89
Guest
Perhaps you understand the Book of Ecclisiastes now?
“Meaningless! Meaningless!”
****says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
****Everything is meaningless.”
Worldly things, when considered alone, are bound to be repetitive and disillusioning.
T
the_phoenix
Guest
Hi MainBrain,
Everybody was born with a talent. There is a contribution that only you can make to the world, for your good and the greater glory of God. Maybe you haven’t succeeded because you haven’t yet found and pursued your talent?
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
~~ Jeremiah 29:11
Praying for you!
Everybody was born with a talent. There is a contribution that only you can make to the world, for your good and the greater glory of God. Maybe you haven’t succeeded because you haven’t yet found and pursued your talent?
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
~~ Jeremiah 29:11
Praying for you!
L
LegoGE1947
Guest
I have a similar problem as the OP, except I’m 67.Hi MainBrain,
Everybody was born with a talent. There is a contribution that only you can make to the world, for your good and the greater glory of God. Maybe you haven’t succeeded because you haven’t yet found and pursued your talent?
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
~~ Jeremiah 29:11
Praying for you!
Question is: What if one lives their whole life and never FINDS his or her talent?
I have been called “an accident looking for a place to happen” “a joke” a whole lot of other things.
T
the_phoenix
Guest
Hi LegoGE1947,
One way to look at it: My mom talked for years and years about writing a book. Finally, at about age 70, she wrote it. So you have three years … Just kidding. You have what God gives you!
Another way to look at it: Two of the Fatima children … prayed the Rosary, did penance, and died of the flu. The flu of all things! One of the most common illnesses on Earth. And anyone can pray the Rosary and do penance. And Mary said they would go to Heaven. Not bad, eh?
Anyways, LegoGE1947 … your post surprises me for this reason. Having seen you around the forums for some time now, you’re someone I’ve always admired. So it could be that your talent is evangelizing … and if so, seems to me you’re already doing that by being a force for good on CAF.
~~ the phoenix
One way to look at it: My mom talked for years and years about writing a book. Finally, at about age 70, she wrote it. So you have three years … Just kidding. You have what God gives you!
Another way to look at it: Two of the Fatima children … prayed the Rosary, did penance, and died of the flu. The flu of all things! One of the most common illnesses on Earth. And anyone can pray the Rosary and do penance. And Mary said they would go to Heaven. Not bad, eh?
Anyways, LegoGE1947 … your post surprises me for this reason. Having seen you around the forums for some time now, you’re someone I’ve always admired. So it could be that your talent is evangelizing … and if so, seems to me you’re already doing that by being a force for good on CAF.
~~ the phoenix
I have a similar problem as the OP, except I’m 67.
Question is: What if one lives their whole life and never FINDS his or her talent?
I have been called “an accident looking for a place to happen” “a joke” a whole lot of other things.
C
Cat
Guest
What is your definition of “success?” How will you know if you have succeeded?
Is there a possibility that your standards of success are unrealistic?
Have other people asked you these questions? What was your answer?
Thank you.
I fail at everything too, whether this is because I am completely useless or because I set too high goals so I am bound to fail.
G
GusIsAGirl
Guest
I am in my 40s and I feel the same way. I don’t have any answers. 
ETA: I don’t have “too high” standards. I thought mine were normal, wanting to get married, etc, but since that has not happened, I need to be able to at least financially take care of myself and I can’t do that. That’s not having “too high” standards.
ETA: I don’t have “too high” standards. I thought mine were normal, wanting to get married, etc, but since that has not happened, I need to be able to at least financially take care of myself and I can’t do that. That’s not having “too high” standards.
po18guy
Well-known member
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MainBrain
Guest
I am frustrated by some of the response but I thank you all the same. I’m very depressed so bare with me.
I have many talents. That’s the problem. I have failed at them.
Oh well. I guess I won’t find the answers anywhere.
Yes I have thought that it’s my cross. But I have a wife and child to try to support for. It’s so easy to say “oh this is your cross…” What about the verse that says “he who does not supply for his family is worse than an infidel?” I am getting tired of pat answers that belong in the middle ages. Sorry for my negativity. I know we all have a cross to bear. I just am not sure if this is the proper context to bring it up in. I know you mean well.
Someone I used to know would say I cowrote that book.
No offense, but I CAN’T STAND WHEN BELIEVERS QUOTE Jeremiah 29:11 TO PEOPLE GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES!! It’s annoying and unrealistic! It really is!Hi MainBrain,
Everybody was born with a talent. There is a contribution that only you can make to the world, for your good and the greater glory of God. Maybe you haven’t succeeded because you haven’t yet found and pursued your talent?
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
~~ Jeremiah 29:11
Praying for you!
I have many talents. That’s the problem. I have failed at them.
I wish you the best.I have a similar problem as the OP, except I’m 67.
Question is: What if one lives their whole life and never FINDS his or her talent?
I have been called “an accident looking for a place to happen” “a joke” a whole lot of other things.
I guess. I’ve been reading a lot on the Fatima children.Hi LegoGE1947,
One way to look at it: My mom talked for years and years about writing a book. Finally, at about age 70, she wrote it. So you have three years … Just kidding. You have what God gives you!
Another way to look at it: Two of the Fatima children … prayed the Rosary, did penance, and died of the flu. The flu of all things! One of the most common illnesses on Earth. And anyone can pray the Rosary and do penance. And Mary said they would go to Heaven. Not bad, eh?
Anyways, LegoGE1947 … your post surprises me for this reason. Having seen you around the forums for some time now, you’re someone I’ve always admired. So it could be that your talent is evangelizing … and if so, seems to me you’re already doing that by being a force for good on CAF.
~~ the phoenix
My definition of success is making a good living ($50,000 to $100,000 a year) and having a great love life with my wife and raising a blessed child who is safe and healthy. The figure I have is not that unrealistic. Well now it is maybe.
Easier said than done when a husband has not worked in 5 years and his wife does not care for him anymore.
Oh well. I guess I won’t find the answers anywhere.
L
LegoGE1947
Guest
We may be the most successful failures who ever lived!:extrahappy:
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GusIsAGirl
Guest
Wait, did your user name used to be Bob something? In any case, I think a spouse and a child qualify as HUGE blessings and way more than a lot of people have.
C
ClearWater
Guest
Even if you can’t work, for pay, can you do something as a volunteer? I’ve even volunteered different times outside, and inside, my house.
I’ve done some things as menial as filing, stuffing envelopes, but I’ve found more rewarding work with people, the blind, specifically.
I don’t make any money, so in the world’s eyes, I am probably of little value, also. However, if nothing else, I do in my small way, something to make a difference, to give myself a sense of meaning and purpose.
I get out of the house, help someone else, who might have problems as big as mine, if not bigger.
They say that why we think of self, troubles grow. Think of others, troubles go.
I know volunteers are needed everywhere…schools…hospitals…librairies. It also gives one a social aspect one might lack if not in the conventional workforce. Some place have entire volunteer departments, recognize their volunteers.
Can you teach someone how to read, say?
I started off with Literacy Volunteers, did that for, I think, 5 years. Then, I went to Mexico, taught/tutored English as a Second Language. I volunteered in the US for a time as a Spanish interpreter with a couple places…a hospital and an organization.
Later, I became a professional interpreter, ended up doing that for 5 years.
So, sometimes we also acquire skills during our volunteering that we can use later to get work.
When I have worked, I’ve usually made my own jobs, in a sense. Sometimes, that can work better if other options don’t work.
I’m considered disabled, actually, but if all I can do now is volunteer work, that’s what I do.
I find this helpful.
So, I figure I’d run this by you. ** handsonnetwork.org/**
And/or…can you take some classes? There are all kinds of classes now, many for free.
I took free computer classes to get myself updated. They had them at the library.
Right now, I’m taking a free Braille and abacus class. I see here there’s also to be a free sign class at INCODIS.
So, why not consider volunteering and/or a class. What do you have to lose?
I’ve done some things as menial as filing, stuffing envelopes, but I’ve found more rewarding work with people, the blind, specifically.
I don’t make any money, so in the world’s eyes, I am probably of little value, also. However, if nothing else, I do in my small way, something to make a difference, to give myself a sense of meaning and purpose.
I get out of the house, help someone else, who might have problems as big as mine, if not bigger.
They say that why we think of self, troubles grow. Think of others, troubles go.
I know volunteers are needed everywhere…schools…hospitals…librairies. It also gives one a social aspect one might lack if not in the conventional workforce. Some place have entire volunteer departments, recognize their volunteers.
Can you teach someone how to read, say?
I started off with Literacy Volunteers, did that for, I think, 5 years. Then, I went to Mexico, taught/tutored English as a Second Language. I volunteered in the US for a time as a Spanish interpreter with a couple places…a hospital and an organization.
Later, I became a professional interpreter, ended up doing that for 5 years.
So, sometimes we also acquire skills during our volunteering that we can use later to get work.
When I have worked, I’ve usually made my own jobs, in a sense. Sometimes, that can work better if other options don’t work.
I’m considered disabled, actually, but if all I can do now is volunteer work, that’s what I do.
I find this helpful.
So, I figure I’d run this by you. ** handsonnetwork.org/**
And/or…can you take some classes? There are all kinds of classes now, many for free.
I took free computer classes to get myself updated. They had them at the library.
Right now, I’m taking a free Braille and abacus class. I see here there’s also to be a free sign class at INCODIS.
So, why not consider volunteering and/or a class. What do you have to lose?
D
DoGodsBidding
Guest
Amen.
po18guy
Well-known member
I “think” that scripture applies to those who are not trying. But, you are trying, correct?
Fr. Benedict Groeschel (Franciscan Friar and clinical psychologist) advises that those who are feeling depressed are often helped by volunteering with the disabled and homeless. Among other advantages, it lends a sense of perspective.
G
Groo
Guest
For a man, not to be able to earn a living and provide for his family is a terrible thing. And when your wife doesn’t respect you either - that is brutal. I can’t imagine how painful that must be.
First thing, this economy has not been kind to a lot of people. Discouraged workers have been on the rise for some years now. There are some people who look and look and look for a job and nothing works out, so you are not alone. Small comfort, but I thought I’d mention it.
Second, I am a strong advocate for therapy and support groups, but sometimes there are things where we as men just have to go it alone. I think this is one of those times for you.
Somehow you need to find a kind of grim determination deep down in your heart. This is not a macho, ‘suck it up’ type of thing, but something deeper down. It’s a steely persistence that can only come from inside of you. Your wife won’t support you. Maybe your family can’t help. So you have to find that will to press forward alone, even if you are sure nothing is going to work.
There is something terrifying about a man who keeps getting up, battered and bloodied after getting knocked down a hundred times. You may know in your heart that whatever you try is going to fail, but you have to keep trying anyway. Even if you try and fail for 1000 more times and fail in every attempt up until the day you die, you need to find the will to keep moving forward - no matter what anyone says or thinks. And in all of this persistence maybe you’ll find the self-respect you need more than anything else.
I don’t think anyone is going to help you find an answer to this. You need to figure this out by yourself. And I think you will.
First thing, this economy has not been kind to a lot of people. Discouraged workers have been on the rise for some years now. There are some people who look and look and look for a job and nothing works out, so you are not alone. Small comfort, but I thought I’d mention it.
Second, I am a strong advocate for therapy and support groups, but sometimes there are things where we as men just have to go it alone. I think this is one of those times for you.
Somehow you need to find a kind of grim determination deep down in your heart. This is not a macho, ‘suck it up’ type of thing, but something deeper down. It’s a steely persistence that can only come from inside of you. Your wife won’t support you. Maybe your family can’t help. So you have to find that will to press forward alone, even if you are sure nothing is going to work.
There is something terrifying about a man who keeps getting up, battered and bloodied after getting knocked down a hundred times. You may know in your heart that whatever you try is going to fail, but you have to keep trying anyway. Even if you try and fail for 1000 more times and fail in every attempt up until the day you die, you need to find the will to keep moving forward - no matter what anyone says or thinks. And in all of this persistence maybe you’ll find the self-respect you need more than anything else.
I don’t think anyone is going to help you find an answer to this. You need to figure this out by yourself. And I think you will.
M
MainBrain
Guest
I was not a Bob under another name on this forum.
I called and emailed a local volunteer group around 4 times. I am so disappointed they never got back to me. What a disappointment.
D
dedo
Guest
My only suggestion is to start using your words in a way that is an exercise in Faith.
For example, never say anything bad about yourself or your future.
Instead, start saying positive things about yourself and your future.
Work toward your goals with steady perseverance and thank God as if you have already achieved what you are seeking.
This thread is a reminder for me to do the same, since I am trying to move a project forward.
There are spiritual CD’s that explain this sort of thing better than I can on subjects such as Faith, and the power of words etc.
Good luck.
For example, never say anything bad about yourself or your future.
Instead, start saying positive things about yourself and your future.
Work toward your goals with steady perseverance and thank God as if you have already achieved what you are seeking.
This thread is a reminder for me to do the same, since I am trying to move a project forward.
There are spiritual CD’s that explain this sort of thing better than I can on subjects such as Faith, and the power of words etc.
Good luck.
M
MainBrain
Guest
You know, I actually thought about doing this very thing the other day. But I didn’t. I think you’re right. Our words do have power! I should do exactly what you suggested. And I wish you the best moving forward with your project. Thank you for a great suggestion.
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