Why can't women simply say "I'm not interested." to men?

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Do you really think these men who are saying “Hey beautiful” are looking at her like she may be their future wife, or that they are even looking to have a long term relationship with her?
Why do you think a woman deserves to be ogled if she dresses in tight clothing. Would you stare at a handicapped person? Can you control yourself enough not to stare at someone who is disfigured? Is it ok to make racist remarks to a black person? Obese people, do they deserve to be called rude names?Elderly? Putting the blame on women makes men sound like they are unable to control themselves. Are you that weak?
 
Sorry ladies I was writing up a one-star review of Bart Ehrman’s latest anti-Christian book to post on Amazon.

Yea sorry I don’t think I would ever say that it’s OK to harass women, or that it doesn’t happen, all your stories are proof of that. It’s just that I don’t think this video is much of an example… I mean half of them are just normal “hi”, and I’m not going to admit that saying “hey beautiful” is harassment. It depends where you draw the line, and it appears to me that feminists want to draw the line with any kind of hitting on a woman at all.

I guess I’m a feminist if feminism supports equality between the sexes. But if men are fine to be objectified by women when they walk around in revealing outfits, then I don’t see where the inequality is in men doing the same. I wouldn’t support it, but I don’t think that people are being equal here.

Yet this is a fallen world. But I don’t support unequal treatment and double standards, with social campaigns like this propaganda video to try and shame men to stop acting like men.

Although to be honest I might get behind this feminism, because parts of it are anti-pornography and seem to want to return to a better kind of treatment between the sexes, but other parts are odious to me, so I don’t think I can support it.
 
Estevao said:
Sorry ladies I was writing up a one-star review of Bart Ehrman’s latest anti-Christian book to post on Amazon.

Yea sorry I don’t think I would ever say that it’s OK to harass women, or that it doesn’t happen, all your stories are proof of that. It’s just that I don’t think this video is much of an example… I mean half of them are just normal “hi”, and I’m not going to admit that saying “hey beautiful” is harassment. It depends where you draw the line, and it appears to me that feminists want to draw the line with any kind of hitting on a woman at all.

I guess I’m a feminist if feminism supports equality between the sexes. But if men are fine to be objectified by women when they walk around in revealing outfits, then I don’t see where the inequality is in men doing the same. I wouldn’t support it, but I don’t think that people are being equal here.
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Okay, I must admit I didn’t read the whole thread, but I did read the last few pages, and I have not seen anyone post that it’s fine for women to objectify men. I don’t see anything in Catholic teaching that it’s okay for ANYONE to objectify anyone else, regardless of sex. Your attitude toward women seems much more based on secular “battle of the sexes” propaganda than anything Catholic.

And by the way, what if you were suddenly the macho alpha male you assume are the average woman’s fantasy, and you were walking down the street, and a whole bunch of MEN started to try to get your attention. following you around, commenting on how handsome you were? Would you still find it flattering that those men are “hitting” on you?
 
Estevao said:
I guess I’m a feminist if feminism supports equality between the sexes. But if men are fine to be objectified by women when they walk around in revealing outfits, then I don’t see where the inequality is in men doing the same.

**???

Are there really packs of women hanging around on street corners for hours doing nothing, catcalling men and following men around?**

I wouldn’t support it, but I don’t think that people are being equal here.

**Nah, it’s not a good idea for anybody of either sex to be following strangers around or making remarks about physical features to strangers, positive or negative.

It’s just not good manners for anybody.

We really have to think hard before talking about other people’s bodies. It’s reasonably safe to tell an acquaintance, “Cute dress!” or “Love the tie!” or “I love what you’ve done with your hair!” but once we’re talking about their actual bodies, it’s easy to squick people out. You have to be REALLY close to somebody (as in dating seriously) to make physical compliments without putting a foot in the mouth.
**

Yet this is a fallen world. But I don’t support unequal treatment and double standards, with social campaigns like this propaganda video to try and shame men to stop acting like men.
**
Wait–I thought you were saying that women do the same stuff. I am confused.**

Although to be honest I might get behind this feminism, because parts of it are anti-pornography and seem to want to return to a better kind of treatment between the sexes, but other parts are odious to me, so I don’t think I can support it.
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Well, figure out what the good parts are, and keep those.

If a feminist says it’s raining, it might just be raining.
 
Also, in really big cities (like New York), there’s an accepted mainstream standard of behavior in public: no talking to strangers, no eye contact, no unnecessary interaction. That may sound cold, but in a huge city like that, it would be simply exhausting to be constantly interacting with the thousands of people you see every day.

wikihow.com/Be-Like-a-New-Yorker

So, even side from the sex issues, these guys are being rude.

I think some of the people who write on the laissez faire side of this underestimate how exhausting it is to deal with public harassment. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Russia in the 1990s, and one of the biggest hassles there was that if I went out in public in our tiny town, I’d get followed around by tweens and teens yelling rude things in limited English (some VERY, VERY rude things). There wasn’t a lot to do in the tiny town, and I was apparently one of their forms of entertainment. I made a point of never going out of my apartment and walking around my town unless I had important business to do there, which was very limiting and claustrophobic. The phenomenon only existed in the tiny community where I lived. Once I got on the bus and went to the next town or two towns over, I was able to enjoy sweet, sweet anonymity. And I know for a fact that it wasn’t just me–I remember a get together with some fellow Peace Corps Volunteers where a colleague was quoting exactly the same stuff.

It’s so rude and selfish to continue doing stuff that causes misery to others when you’ve been told to stop (unless it’s an actual moral duty).
 
I don’t have a problem with “hi” I say hi all the time. There were times she was followed, in an interview she said she was followed three times for about five minutes. There were times when guys kept asking for her number after she said no. Also some guy made some comment about $1,000. Bucks like she was a prostitute. That’s the problem.
 
petitfleur said:
I don’t have a problem with “hi” I say hi all the time. There were times she was followed, in an interview she said she was followed three times for about five minutes. There were times when guys kept asking for her number after she said no. Also some guy made some comment about $1,000. Bucks like she was a prostitute. That’s the problem.
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Non-verbal signals count as well. A guy who says “hi”, smiles, and keep walking is one thing. That’s very different from the guy who looks you up and down, stops, and says the same thing while staring at your chest.
 
DarkLight said:
Non-verbal signals count as well. A guy who says “hi”, smiles, and keep walking is one thing. That’s very different from the guy who looks you up and down, stops, and says the same thing while staring at your chest.
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Very true. I also don't say hi to people who have their head down and are rushing or obviously avoiding eye contact, which is what I do when walking someplace where I am not comfortable.
 
Estevao said:
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but many women have a hard time telling men pursuing them, in black and white, that they are not interested.

Is it because women are so full of themselves that they think the man is going to be destroyed if she tells him this?

Why do women think it’s okay to string men along or drop hints about their lack of interest that men are just supposed to “get it” without her saying anything simple and clear?

Discuss
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It’s because then men complain about being in the friend zone or talk about how she is too selective or “I’m not good enough for you then?!” or spread rumors about her behind her back.

It has nothing to do with women being full of ourselves. We need to protect ourselves.
 
Since I made this thread a woman has become interested in me but I find it hard to say “I’m just not interested” to her. I just keep avoiding her hoping she’ll get it.

:o
 
Estevao said:
Since I made this thread a woman has become interested in me but I find it hard to say “I’m just not interested” to her. I just keep avoiding her hoping she’ll get it.

:o
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Dating is just hard all around. No one wants to hurt anyone, but that’s the nature of rejection and rejection is a natural part of finding the right partner.

Good luck and try not to be too hard on anyone, especially yourself.
 
Its like those market researchers or companies wanting to sell you life insurance. When you answer the phone they simply don’t get it when you say ‘i’m not interested’. Instead they keep on talking as if you’ve said nothing with the attitude that they know better about what you want and need than you do yourself. Which is interesting, considering they don’t wait for an answer to their own question of ‘do you mind if I talk to you about something/ or do a small 2 min research?’ They don’t care what you say in response to this question and just barge right into their research/or list of questions about what type of insurance level you currently have, even though you haven’t even agreed to talk to them at all…

Maybe start with a bit of respect? 😦
 
Another idea; if the woman keeps getting lured looks and suggestive comments, she should go up to him and say ‘if you keep that up i’m going to punch you in the face’. See if he finds that sexy. 😃
 
Joy2day said:
Another idea; if the woman keeps getting lured looks and suggestive comments, she should go up to him and say ‘if you keep that up i’m going to punch you in the face’. See if he finds that sexy. 😃
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Unfortunately with that sort of man, there’s a good chance that’ll flip the rage switch. Keep in mind that sort of guy is typically very entitled - in their minds they’ve done nothing wrong and you’re personally attacking them by saying no. Most of the time all that they’ll do is insult you…but how confident are you in that most?
 
Estevao said:
Since I made this thread a woman has become interested in me but I find it hard to say “I’m just not interested” to her. I just keep avoiding her hoping she’ll get it.

:o
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Marry her. She’ll be sure to leave you alone after that. 😛
 
Xantippe said:
Don’t forget to have a baby. That’s really important!
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A young father complained to his friend. “Ever since we had the baby, my wife has no time for me. It’s all about the baby. It’s as if I don’t even exist anymore!”

The friend said, “Face it: the baby is her blood relatve. You’re just some guy she met in a bar.”
 
on_the_hill said:
A young father complained to his friend. “Ever since we had the baby, my wife has no time for me. It’s all about the baby. It’s as if I don’t even exist anymore!”

The friend said, “Face it: the baby is her blood relatve. You’re just some guy she met in a bar.”
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Funny!

Alternately, babying a husband was practice for babying a baby, and once she’s got an actual baby, she can’t baby the husband anymore.

That is an argument for not getting husbands used to too much babying, though.
 
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