Why can't women simply say "I'm not interested." to men?

[pensmama87]

Sorry about that!

And the sad and ironic thing is that those guys don’t understand that their ideal woman wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole if she knew where they spent their time on the internet or how they and their friends talk about women.

Do they not get that what they are saying is exactly the kind of thing that makes feminism attractive to women?

It is very sad that men and women treat each other with such suspicion about motives. But since men are (supposedly) in the eyes of many men the stronger, more intelligent, rational sex, you’d think they’d want to help lead us poor, stupid women to learn that we can trust them.

Instead they sit there and complain about how we’re all ugly and mean, except for the hot ones, and anyway there will be robots soon that can do all of our “good functions.” And this is a supposedly Christian website?!

Yikes. My husband drives me batty sometimes but I am going to give him a big ole kiss when he comes home today.

 

[Sarcelle]

I googled. Probably against my better judgment. I’d never heard of Dalrock until this thread and now wish I still didn’t know about it.

Sad, sad stuff.

So glad I did not check it out. I will give that website the same treatment I give the Stormfront website. Avoid it completely.

 

[Xantippe]

Do they not get that what they are saying is exactly the kind of thing that makes feminism attractive to women?

It is very sad that men and women treat each other with such suspicion about motives. But since men are (supposedly) in the eyes of many men the stronger, more intelligent, rational sex, you’d think they’d want to help lead us poor, stupid women to learn that we can trust them.

Instead they sit there and complain about how we’re all ugly and mean, except for the hot ones, and anyway there will be robots soon that can do all of our “good functions.” And this is a supposedly Christian website?!

Yikes. My husband drives me batty sometimes but I am going to give him a big ole kiss when he comes home today.

Yeah.

This is fortunately a small minority that only manages to get critical mass on the internet. (Hence the constant complaints about how feminized, feminist and churchian real actual churches are.)

 

[DarkLight]

Yeah.

This is fortunately a small minority that only manages to get critical mass on the internet. (Hence the constant complaints about how feminized, feminist and churchian real actual churches are.)

Sadly this isn’t as far off from the culture of certain sections of protestantism as people would like to think.

 

[pianistclare]

I think I’ve finally got this crazy chick to stop contacting me without me telling her to take a hike.

Lol I guess I see how hard it is for women to say no upfront. All those desires to not hurt the other’s feelings, just to let them down gently without out any acrimonious feelings.

Although I’m pretty sure if I started talking to some chick I met at church like this who was showing no interest, and then tried to justify my actions by being the one with loving intentions and turn it back on this woman as being in the wrong, she’d be up in arms, telling that hypothetical girl to “you go girl!” as she told me to take a hike, told all her friends was a creeper I was, etc.

Of course, I get it, me big strong man, me could hit her over head with rock and take her back to cave, she has right to be scared.

You’re involved with a chicken? wow. that’s a new one.

 

[pianistclare]

That’s a rather vague charge. I’ve been around here for awhile and never saw such posts. If these posts were so common I think I would have seen at least 1. To say this is a huge epidemic is inaccurate at best. I don’t condone such behavior by anyone, but this is the first thread I’ve heard anything about these Dalrock folks and its not coming from a dude

Um, a dude who has only 24 posts, who claims to be married but has WAY too drama in his head about women and who refuses to see that his attitude is the problem.
Men want respect. So respect women already.
Too many red flags here. Too many. We’re not blind, you know. Besides all of us being dumb hateful women, of course.

 

[pianistclare]

Yeah.

This is fortunately a small minority that only manages to get critical mass on the internet. (Hence the constant complaints about how feminized, feminist and churchian real actual churches are.)

Me too pensmama

 

[petitfleur]

Do they not get that what they are saying is exactly the kind of thing that makes feminism attractive to women?

It is very sad that men and women treat each other with such suspicion about motives. But since men are (supposedly) in the eyes of many men the stronger, more intelligent, rational sex, you’d think they’d want to help lead us poor, stupid women to learn that we can trust them.

Instead they sit there and complain about how we’re all ugly and mean, except for the hot ones, and anyway there will be robots soon that can do all of our “good functions.” And this is a supposedly Christian website?!

Yikes. My husband drives me batty sometimes but I am going to give him a big ole kiss when he comes home today.

I actually had to google Dalrock. I kept mistaking it for Darlick like in Dr.Who. If you want your head to explode Google red pill and MRA (men’s rights activists) here are many blogs along these lines. Some are written by women. Lori Alexander writes a blog called Always Learning. Basically she teaches women how to be completely submissive to their husbands, even if they ask you to do illegal things.
What’s wrong with feminism? It’s most basic definition is that women and men should have equal rights and women are actually humans. Most women who consider themselves feminists don’t think they are better than men. Radical feminism is a different kettle of fish.

 

[pensmama87]

I actually had to google Dalrock. I kept mistaking it for Darlick like in Dr.Who. If you want your head to explode Google red pill and MRA (men’s rights activists) here are many blogs along these lines. Some are written by women. Lori Alexander writes a blog called Always Learning. Basically she teaches women how to be completely submissive to their husbands, even if they ask you to do illegal things.
What’s wrong with feminism? It’s most basic definition is that women and men should have equal rights and women are actually humans. Most women who consider themselves feminists don’t think they are better than men. Radical feminism is a different kettle of fish.

I consider myself a recovering feminist. I was definitely pretty radical. For me, after some time “in the movement” when I was starting to waver on whether or not I wanted to be there, it became clear to me that there’s the people who want to live their lives and do their best to treat everybody as people, and then there’s the radicals who spend all their time on the agenda.

YMMV, but I pretty much found as soon as I wasn’t willing to be radical the movement didn’t want me. So I abandoned the label, even though I agree with you on the basic definition and am definitely grateful to the early “suffragettes” - many of whom were pro-life!

It’s funny because I had almost convinced myself that the bogeyman feminists kept talking about was basically nonexistent in this day and age - yet, here are scores of them! Scary. I’m not going to go back, but I do remember what appealed to me about radical feminism. Maybe it’s what appeals to these extremist “men’s rights” types too - the resulting interpretation is wrong, but man does it simplify life to have someone to blame for all your problems, especially when they’re generally physically weaker than you are and you’ve got lots of textual “evidence” to back up your position on their inferiority.

 

[Xantippe]

It’s funny because I had almost convinced myself that the bogeyman feminists kept talking about was basically nonexistent in this day and age - yet, here are scores of them! Scary.

Yes, it’s like finding out that there are actually monsters under the bed.

 

[petitfleur]

I consider myself a recovering feminist. I was definitely pretty radical. For me, after some time “in the movement” when I was starting to waver on whether or not I wanted to be there, it became clear to me that there’s the people who want to live their lives and do their best to treat everybody as people, and then there’s the radicals who spend all their time on the agenda.

YMMV, but I pretty much found as soon as I wasn’t willing to be radical the movement didn’t want me. So I abandoned the label, even though I agree with you on the basic definition and am definitely grateful to the early “suffragettes” - many of whom were pro-life!

It’s funny because I had almost convinced myself that the bogeyman feminists kept talking about was basically nonexistent in this day and age - yet, here are scores of them! Scary. I’m not going to go back, but I do remember what appealed to me about radical feminism. Maybe it’s what appeals to these extremist “men’s rights” types too - the resulting interpretation is wrong, but man does it simplify life to have someone to blame for all your problems, especially when they’re generally physically weaker than you are and you’ve got lots of textual “evidence” to back up your position on their inferiority.

I never thought of myself as a feminist until after saying that am man asked me If I thought I women were equally important to men. After that I became more aware of “women’s issues” and how valid they are at times. I think I was so used to certain situations like pervy comments from men (particularly in my early twenties in the work place) being intimidated, and the feeling of fear when being approached and a guy not taking ‘no’ for an answer.realizing my date feels entitled to sex or at least some messing around, and a bit of panic because I’m in his car and nowhere near home.Hearing guys talk about other women in a degrading way.
I have also seen an attitude toward a mom who coaches 9 year old girls rec basket ball
She is attractive, confident, very competitive, and is a really good coach. She really understands the sport. She is also loud, but none of the things she said is negative and I can say by watching her she is fair with playing times. I see people getting bent out of shape, particularly when she speaks up. She is not rude but direct. When a dad is like that, he’s a great coach. When it’s a mom, people bristle at it. It’s pretty subtle.

 

[Estevao]

You’re involved with a chicken? wow. that’s a new one.

Hey you seem to be consulting your husband about this thread, maybe go ask him how he talked about women in his 20’s?

Actually maybe don’t, I’d rather not start a fight in the pianistclare household.

 

[Estevao]

Lol I googled Dalrock and BEL and Xantippe. Lol @ people getting their jimmies so rustled over another poster. I mean Dalrock seems pretty cool, I was looking at his last posts about that psycho Mark Driscoll, they were pretty good. His commenters seem waaayyy too rustled though. But I don’t really have time to follow another blog lol.

 

[Walking_Home]

pensmama87:

It’s funny because I had almost convinced myself that the bogeyman feminists kept talking about was basically nonexistent in this day and age - yet, here are scores of them! Scary.

Yes, it’s like finding out that there are actually monsters under the bed.

---

Ditto.

 

[pianistclare]

Hey you seem to be consulting your husband about this thread, maybe go ask him how he talked about women in his 20’s?

Actually maybe don’t, I’d rather not start a fight in the pianistclare household.

Joe never talked about women in that way. Young men in Ireland are very deferential to young ladies. He said they had no kind of phrase. A guy from Cork, used to call them “young ones” he said.
People move in different circles. He was not part of the drunken brawling pub crowd. Was busy working and getting a degree.

No fighting in our house. He’s a gentleman. That’s why I married him.

 

[flyonthewall86]

Um, a dude who has only 24 posts, who claims to be married but has WAY too drama in his head about women and who refuses to see that his attitude is the problem.
Men want respect. So respect women already.
Too many red flags here. Too many. We’re not blind, you know. Besides all of us being dumb hateful women, of course.

For starters, I’ve been an observer long before I started posting. It wasn’t until I saw the horrible assumptions and misgivings being sold here that I decided to start posting. If you read my meager posts behind my low posting record that you pointed out you would have realized a few posts earlier I said I have no double standard here.

Drama in my head about women? No, actually. I was challenging the wrongful assumptions that were made here because I care about the truth and not sensationalizing and twisting facts to support a myopic point of view.

I have no problem with my wife because unlike some here she does not go around looking at men like pathological miscreants. I respect her and she respects me. She, like me, is a scientist and cares about hard facts not boogeymen. She doesn’t buy into hysteria fueled by misinformation so I can actually have a discussion with her that is based on reason. It seems reason is not the dominant force in this discussion however…

They don’t, when they appear on CAF, say “Hey, I’m using a throway account, one of several, I post CAF threads on Dalrock and make crude sexual remarks about CAF posters, and I come to CAF not in good faith, but to post fake stuff and troll.”

But, you will find all of that if you look over at Dalrock. The guys aren’t at all shy about what they are doing here when they talk amongst themselves there.

As I said, just google CAF and Dalrock. It’s all there.

Again, Dalrock is a really lousy hobby for a theoretically super duper Christian man to be engaging in.

I have better things to do than concern myself with guys with too much time on their hands that play guerrilla tactics on forums. The fact that these guys get some of you so wound up is startling. The mods will do their job anyway…end of story. You trying to reason with them or getting bent out of shape would be the same as a guy trying to debate with a feminist on Jezebel. It’s a lesson in futility…

 

[Xantippe]

I also have a really hard time imagining my husband using disrespectful language about women. I met him when he was 24, so that’s still 20s.

I just asked my husband if he had ever used the word “chicks” when talking about women. He made a face and said he might have used it when quoting. He followed up by asking, “Shouldn’t you wait until she grows up into a hen, at least?” Good point.

Joe never talked about women in that way. Young men in Ireland are very deferential to young ladies. He said they had no kind of phrase. A guy from Cork, used to call them “young ones” he said.
People move in different circles. He was not part of the drunken brawling pub crowd. Was busy working and getting a degree.

No fighting in our house. He’s a gentleman. That’s why I married him.

 

[on_the_hill]

Not to monopolize the thread, but “The Gift of Fear” has some very helpful thoughts.

This book is an absolute must read. Can’t even tell you how many times I’ve recommended it to people.

 

[pensmama87]

I also have a really hard time imagining my husband using disrespectful language about women. I met him when he was 24, so that’s still 20s.

I just asked my husband if he had ever used the word “chicks” when talking about women. He made a face and said he might have used it when quoting. He followed up by asking, “Shouldn’t you wait until she grows up into a hen, at least?” Good point.

My husband also does not speak disrespectfully about women and never has since I’ve known him. When we met he was 19 and I was 18.

He told me about one time when he was maybe 12 or 13 and he muttered something sexist about his mother under his breath, I think when she was disciplining him. His dad was also in the room and he was set straight immediately.

 

[DarkLight]

I consider myself a recovering feminist. I was definitely pretty radical. For me, after some time “in the movement” when I was starting to waver on whether or not I wanted to be there, it became clear to me that there’s the people who want to live their lives and do their best to treat everybody as people, and then there’s the radicals who spend all their time on the agenda.

YMMV, but I pretty much found as soon as I wasn’t willing to be radical the movement didn’t want me. So I abandoned the label, even though I agree with you on the basic definition and am definitely grateful to the early “suffragettes” - many of whom were pro-life!

It’s funny because I had almost convinced myself that the bogeyman feminists kept talking about was basically nonexistent in this day and age - yet, here are scores of them! Scary. I’m not going to go back, but I do remember what appealed to me about radical feminism. Maybe it’s what appeals to these extremist “men’s rights” types too - the resulting interpretation is wrong, but man does it simplify life to have someone to blame for all your problems, especially when they’re generally physically weaker than you are and you’ve got lots of textual “evidence” to back up your position on their inferiority.

My first experience with feminism was essentially “oh that makes a lot more sense.” Flipping through Dalrock, none of it would surprise me from the church I grew up in.