Christians only ask that you seek the what we DO have (bible, writings of christianity, history in general) and make a decision. I dont think you have looked at christianity with an open mind, but from a distance. Call it fear, or whatever. Once you do, it WILL change your life. But change is scary. Im a christian, trying to change every day, it is still scary sometimes when I realize how much more I should do in life. But I do not doubt the religion at all.
The Catholic church teachs THE truth to the entire world. The world has never listened. The world doesnt even understand WHAT the church teaches most of the time.
Are you aetheist, agnostic? or something else?