Why did God give us different messages?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jenny
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Thing is, that is not how Catholic marriage works.

First you meet with your pastor and begin marriage preparation. A series of talks, counseling sessions, this lasts an average of 6 months. Then you set a date. Your Pastor helps you through the process.

As said above, random signs are simply coincidences. God does not work that way.

Find a man who is mature and who has the same life goals as you, the two of you decide together to enter into a valid marriage and approach your pastor.
 
Dearest, I am an old maid and even I know that a man who is in love will want to marry that girl and get her off the market pronto.

Perhaps this man is in love with love, not necessarily in love with you. Sometimes people lack the discernment, or the determination, to admit, “You are a lovable person with many lovable qualities, but I don’t love you. I’m so sorry.”

As for signs, test the spirits. I am reminded of the fundamentalist collegian who was approached by another fundy collegian who told her, “God told me to marry you.” As she had never met the man until that day, she was understandable surprised. (She said No.)

You clearly care enough about God’s guidance. It’s probable that God indeed is guiding you toward marriage, someday. But you also may have wanted to see signs that God was guiding you toward that particular man. It’s probable that you saw more than was there.

I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. Give yourself time to heal. And stay unattached, so that you will be free when the right one comes along.
 
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I’m wondering why it’s always the court clerk you go/plan on going to. Don’t you belong to a church? Are you both free to marry in the church?

It sounds as if you both have other things to talk over…if you’re ever to marry each other!
 
Legend: I don’t understand your point. We intended to have a ceremony at church after we finish docs with the government. So what’s wrong with the court clerk? Or you meant that we just need the ceremony at church.
 
Are you in the United States? If so, a church marriage is considered binding. Other countries sometimes do things differently. If you are trying this out as a sort of 'trial or practices marriage, you are going against the will of the church. Which sounds like what this man may have planned, all along. If I made wrongful assumptions, I’m sorry.
 
Legend: yes i am in USA. I want to have both of church marriage and legally married status. The point here is he rejected me before both of them happen. I am Catholic and so is he. Of course church marriage is something I always dream of. But i don’t feel anything wrong when i also want to make our marriage legal with the government.
 
Hi Jenny,

I read your post and the kind responses here.
I feel for you and your writing resonated with me.
My ex and I had an unhealthy relationship. We had a marriage that was eventually validated when I came into the church. I practiced NFP and had several children. The marriage didn’t work out because my ex didn’t want to put the commitment into it. However, I worked my tail-end off to keep the marriage going long after the signs were there that my husband was done with me and our family.

Looking back, I wish I had better boundaries and had been willing to acknowledge that he just wasn’t into me and the kids. When he left, I realized that I had wasted my time. I would have been better off alone. I deserved a man who loved and cherished me and our children.

Trust me, you can’t find Mr. Right if you’re focused on Mr. Wrong. From what you’ve described, your boyfriend is too immature for a relationship. Please move on so that one day you will have the opportunity to connect with someone who is worthy and capable of your love.

Peace
 
Sorry for what you suffered. I really wish that you and your children have a blessing life together. I always believe that God always has healing plans for everyone before the bad things happen. Yes you’re right it’s so frustrated to be with a immature man. I will try to move on even though it’s difficult now. I will pray for that. Thanks for your response so much.
 
Thank you for your kind words, Jenny.
Fortunately, my children and I are very blessed.
I understand how hard it is to move on when you love someone so much and I wish you the best.
 
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