I am very sorry to hear of your diagnosis, and I will pray for you. I hope that readers of this Q&A will pray for you also. Please do not worry about sin for asking and wondering. It is a human response.
As you noted, God does not “give” people cancer. He may allow the possibility of someone developing cancer, but he does not “smite” anyone with cancer or any other dangerous disease. Yes, he can take it away, and occasionally grants such miracles. Ordinarily though, the cancer is either eradicated through medical treatment or it is not. I hope for you that your doctors are successful in eliminating your cancer, or that God grants you a miracle.
If that does not happen though, try to take comfort where you can. Rather than mourn the loss of a long married life, take comfort that you will not have to suffer through this trial alone. Perhaps God’s gift to you in this trial is a shoulder to lean on and someone to hold your hand. Rather than mourn the loss of motherhood, try to find ways to mother others during the times you are strong enough to do so. For example, will the hospital where you are treated have a children’s unit you can visit? If so, can you spend some time there playing with and encouraging the children? Perhaps you might never have been able to bear a child, but that does not mean you can never be a mother.
In Peter Kreeft’s book,
Making Sense Out of Suffering, author Sheldon Vanauken (
A Severe Mercy) told readers of a story his wife’s doctor once told her. The doctor had to tell a woman that she had inoperable cancer. When she was given the news, the woman was silent for a while, then stated quietly, “Thank God for trusting me with it.”
