I fully agree that “we” didn’t get to be a part of the discussions, but there were most certainly discussions and many “experiments” done by the Bishops and the study commission. The 1965 hybrid was most certainly an attempt to immediately have something in place to see how people received it.
I do agree that a much greater degree of education and transition should have been done rather than just dropping the bomb the way it was done.
I agree that the OF can be done very reverently. I have seen it done so from what many would consider the two “extremes”. I have seen it done very well in parishes with a minimal choir and some of the music that many here so despise, and I have seen it done with full Cathedral choirs, 8 altar servers, and multiple concelebrating priests. I’ve only seen the Latin OF done once and I did not personally care for it, though that could well be my personal taste and lack of familiarity with it. If it was all that was available I would likely adapt without major problems.
I don’t disagree that there has been a blurring of those lines, but I would contest it having anything whatsoever to do with whether the Mass is done in the vernacular. It is much more a result of the cultural change that we no longer live in immobile Catholic communities where we work, go to school, and attend Mass together. We live now in a culture where people are constantly moving and no stable community exists for the most part; where the extended family is largely a thing of the past; where the Catholic school system is largely history. As such we are exposed to other faith traditions at a much greater level and some of the ways of expressing our tradiitons has been blurred, with other parts sadly lost for the most part. Expressions like “walking with the Lord” don’t bother me in the least as I know many from protestant traditions with a beautiful spiritual journey who are truly doing exactly that and have a way of expressing that journey that, while perhaps somewhat different than what you and I might have grown up with, has just as much dignity and truth.
That being said, I do regret the loss of so many of our traditions, and even more the change in culture that has taken us away from our need for God, which those traditions expressed. I regret that so many of us don’t even have the option of a Catholic education for our children and grandchildren, however much I might have disagreed with the form it took at times when I was there.
But on the other side of the coin, there are many of those “traditions” I don’t miss at all. I don’t miss the intense clericalism I grew up with, nor the “we’re the only ones going to heaven” triumphalism. I don’t miss being unfamiliar with the Bible. I am glad to see the tremendous rise in lay involvement in social justice ministries rather than thinking that our job was to “pray, pay, and obey” and the the “missionaries” did that stuff.
I personally think that much of what has sprung up from the Vatican II changes has been a tremendous outpouring of the Holy Spirit in our call to actually live the gospel and proclaim that Good News. And I think that the change to Mass in the vernacular was a key part of people having a greater sense of responsibility and involvement in the life of the Church.
Yes, culture changes since the 60’s have made things much more difficult in many ways. Some don’t like the approaches called for by the Council and feel they are not producing fruit, though there is really no way to know what the comparative fruits would be had nothing changed. I have my own opinions about how things would have gone, given the anti-authority mindset that came out of the 60’s but that is of course just opinion too.
I think overall it is still way too early, given the history of previous councils, to determine all benefits, as well as the mistakes, that came in the implementation of the Council. There is always a back and forth though as things get worked out. At least we’re not–at least most of us

--having to try to guess at which rival claimant is really the Pope.
Blessings to you Brother and may your heart be at peace in finding that liturgy you desire!