Why did this happen?

[Needanonaddress]

I am definatley no saint but I am pretty sure I have tried my best to live a good catholic life. I attend mass every week, I am raising my kids catholic, I say the roasary every night. I even control my thoughts and never let my mind stray from the ultimate goal…heaven.
I try to visit a local church every day. I stopped drinking (never a big drinker) years ago because it was not helping me achieve my goal. I love my wife dearly and she is never far from my thoughts! I work hard and always ask god for guidance in my daily tasks. I have never taken the easy option. Enter through the narrow door …

You get the drift…I am a pretty good guy.

Now can someone explain why the following happened.

Out of the blue…totally out of the blue I have become impotent. I dedicate my life to my family and sex was really the only outlet I allowed myself to have. Not many friends, no hobbies , my family was enough for me. I was so happy and yes I really enjoyed sex. I am not yet 45.

Why has this happened? I know I know I know. Worse things have happened to better people than me…but it is amazing that the one thing I take comfort from is taken away from me. Yes this has rocked me.

 

[Ohana]

Have you seen your doctor. It is unusual for a man your age to become totally impotent. Certainly no one can “perform” all the time, but do have all sexual activity cease may well be related to hormonal or other physical factors. Please make an appointment. ASAP
You will be in my prayers.

 

[Elizium23]

[BIBLEDRB]Job 1:20-22[/BIBLEDRB]

Reality check here. Have you sought medical advice? As I understand it, impotence is very treatable these days. Try to find a good doctor, maybe one who abides by Catholic medical ethics, and get treatment. You’ll be in my prayers.

 

[SwizzleStick]

This.

Have you seen your doctor. It is unusual for a man your age to become totally impotent. Certainly no one can “perform” all the time, but do have all sexual activity cease may well be related to hormonal or other physical factors. Please make an appointment. ASAP
You will be in my prayers.

And this.

…Reality check here. Have you sought medical advice? As I understand it, impotence is very treatable these days. Try to find a good doctor, maybe one who abides by Catholic medical ethics, and get treatment. You’ll be in my prayers.

It might be due to a physical issue. But, it might also be due to a mental one as well. Or, it may be due to both. Body, mind and spirit are intertwined after all. Look at each aspect of your life. Health issues, mental issues like stress (which is really mind and body), marital issues, job issues, child and family issues, so many factors may play a part in this, so I’d consider all, but look at health first.

 

[victorbuhagiar]

It could be the result of stress. As others advised seek a good Catholic doctor. Be careful before you take any medicine supposedly to increase potency. They can lead to heart problems. Check also your PSA. At your age it may surprise you but it is a must. I do not want to alarm you. But you must check this out. I too am impotent but I am 71, treated for prostrate cancer and so I am much worried about it. It does not mean I do not enjoy some sex occasionally even without intercourse. You are young and can be cured if it is God’s will. In the end ask what God wants from you.

God bless.

Victor

 

[faithfully]

Just like women, men also have mental and medical issues that impact their ability to perform. It’s just easier for a man to “get away with it”, because it’s OBVIOUS he can’t. And often it isn’t for the lack of desire to be able to.

Go to the Doctor. Get a complete exam. Have your hormones checked. Your heart/blood pressure. A complete exam. Make sure you don’t have any blockages (blood flow is easily and issue here). Make sure you’re not depleted in any nutrients.

If no medical issues are found, then you are likely to discover that mental blocks really do impair ones ability to perform. In fact, the stress involved with regard to trying to perform, and being worried about it, will yes… 'cause you NOT to perform.

It falls into the same category of women who are told not to stress about getting PG, and then they will. Not something we like to hear. But quite often, very true. Or for a woman who is actually “excited” to engage, but whose body doesn’t do all the things it’s supposed to to make it pleasurable. Or rather, makes it painful.

Sometimes, I think we are shown/experience certain ailments so we learn and share compassion and knowledge for others who are in very real situations that others like to just say “get over it”. I see you’re new here. You will see, for example, many women will express the inability to have sex whether by lack of desire, body failing at things etc… And there will always be at least one man and even women that explains it’s her duty to have sex. No pressure there.

I hope your spouse is showing you compassion in this situation. I’d be very worried about my husband’s health, mentally and physically if this where happening. I hope she’s not being demanding and inconsiderate to how humilating and depressing this probably is.

At the same time, perhaps as you figure out why this is happening, it’s a good time to learn or focus more on the fact that sex is not an OUTLET, but a unitive activity between you and spouse. Perhaps you need to learn other methods of relaxation. So when you’re 80, and things just don’t work, you don’t explode due to the things that wind you up. Or when you’re on the freeway, and someone cuts you off you’re able to cope more in the moment (just as a hypothetical)

And most importantly, this is NOT a punishment. It doesn’t matter that you’re a “good guy”. Bad things happen to good people. Life is messy. I would recommend you wrap your brain around that. You didn’t “earn” this.

I mean think about it for a minute. What if you have blocked arteries. While this may be depressing, it may also be your chance to save your life and NOT die at 45. You could very well need SERIOUS medical intervention. Don’t let embarassment get in the way of that.

Many prayers.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

I am definatley no saint but I am pretty sure I have tried my best to live a good catholic life. I attend mass every week, I am raising my kids catholic, I say the roasary every night. I even control my thoughts and never let my mind stray from the ultimate goal…heaven.
I try to visit a local church every day. I stopped drinking (never a big drinker) years ago because it was not helping me achieve my goal. I love my wife dearly and she is never far from my thoughts! I work hard and always ask god for guidance in my daily tasks. I have never taken the easy option. Enter through the narrow door …

You get the drift…I am a pretty good guy.

Now can someone explain why the following happened.

Out of the blue…totally out of the blue I have become impotent. I dedicate my life to my family and sex was really the only outlet I allowed myself to have. Not many friends, no hobbies , my family was enough for me. I was so happy and yes I really enjoyed sex. I am not yet 45.

Why has this happened? I know I know I know. Worse things have happened to better people than me…but it is amazing that the one thing I take comfort from is taken away from me. Yes this has rocked me.

This isn’t a spiritual issue. It’s a medical/emotional one. See your physician. If your doctor rules out a physical cause, get a referral to a therapist.

 

[littlenothing]

I hope im not crossing a line into giving medical advice here, but if it was really that sudden and complete, be sure to impress this fact upon your doctor. Besides the usual diabetes and cardiovascular causes of impotence, there are other causes that take a bit more checking.

 

[SMHW]

Why has this happened? I know I know I know. Worse things have happened to better people than me…but it is amazing that the one thing I take comfort from is taken away from me. Yes this has rocked me.

Why this *particular *bad thing? I don’t know. It’s a fallen world and some of us have the things we love most taken from us. I’m mentally reciting a number of expressions about the futility of life which I think are not really appropriate on a Catholic forum.

But as the others urging you to seek medical aid have pointed out, this most likely needn’t be a permanent problem. Perhaps it’s a wake-up call to fix some other issue in your life, physical, mental, and/or spiritual. But even if not, this can still be an opportunity to devote some time to other aspects of your life while you seek healing.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I am definatley no saint but I am pretty sure I have tried my best to live a good catholic life. I attend mass every week, I am raising my kids catholic, I say the roasary every night. I even control my thoughts and never let my mind stray from the ultimate goal…heaven.
I try to visit a local church every day. I stopped drinking (never a big drinker) years ago because it was not helping me achieve my goal. I love my wife dearly and she is never far from my thoughts! I work hard and always ask god for guidance in my daily tasks. I have never taken the easy option. Enter through the narrow door …

You get the drift…I am a pretty good guy.

Now can someone explain why the following happened.

Out of the blue…totally out of the blue I have become impotent. I dedicate my life to my family and sex was really the only outlet I allowed myself to have. Not many friends, no hobbies , my family was enough for me. I was so happy and yes I really enjoyed sex. I am not yet 45.

Why has this happened? I know I know I know. Worse things have happened to better people than me…but it is amazing that the one thing I take comfort from is taken away from me. Yes this has rocked me.

Get to your doctor ASAP for testing. You might need to go straight to a urologist, a specialist in the male organs. This is in no way normal if it’s complete impotence where you cannot have an erection. Don’t ask “why,” ask “What is this?” There’s an answer and you need to find out what it is. Something could be blocked, a medication could be causing it, it could be stress. IF all physical causes are ruled out, then it could be psychological. It isn’t God punishing you or giving you a cross.

Just go to the doctor. Tomorrow if possible.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

Out of the blue…totally out of the blue I have become impotent. I dedicate my life to my family and sex was really the only outlet I allowed myself to have.** Not many friends, no hobbies** , my family was enough for me. I was so happy and yes I really enjoyed sex. I am not yet 45.

All of the other stuff people have said is great. But also, maybe it is God’s way of encouraging you to make new friends and learn new hobbies?

 

[faithfully]

All of the other stuff people have said is great. But also, maybe it is God’s way of encouraging you to make new friends and learn new hobbies?

Yeah, I agree. Gotta wonder about a person that doesn’t allow friends or hobbies as an outlet. Hope that’s only SELF imposed. And not controlling of all in he house.

 

[Needanonaddress]

Thanks to all about getting doctors advise.
I did that already. It was the first thing I did.
I am all clear. No problems…apart from the obvious.

I’d like to point out that I choose the friends and hobbies bit.
Totally my choice and happy with it.

Just kinda lashing out here. Crikey I know I am a lucky lucky man.
Cant beat a good old moan every now and then.

Best of luck to you all in the ultimate Olympic event!

 

[faithfully]

If you’ve got a clean bill of health I’d really recommend talking to a therapist. That sounds stress related. Either with regard to performing or something like the job, or the economy or whatever is bugging you. Enough to physically impact you.

It’s crazy how our bodies respond to our reality. Sometimes you really can’t just shove things aside and ignore issues. You have to deal.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks to all about getting doctors advise.
I did that already. It was the first thing I did.
I am all clear. No problems…apart from the obvious.

I’d like to point out that I choose the friends and hobbies bit.
Totally my choice and happy with it.

Just kinda lashing out here. Crikey I know I am a lucky lucky man.
Cant beat a good old moan every now and then.

Best of luck to you all in the ultimate Olympic event!

Get a second opinion.

 

[littlenothing]

Thanks to all about getting doctors advise.
I did that already. It was the first thing I did.
I am all clear. No problems…apart from the obvious.

I’d like to point out that I choose the friends and hobbies bit.
Totally my choice and happy with it.

Just kinda lashing out here. Crikey I know I am a lucky lucky man.
Cant beat a good old moan every now and then.

Best of luck to you all in the ultimate Olympic event!

I agree with TheRealJulianne about the second opinion if it is still going on and is unchanged. But, that is up to you. Maybe you have an idea that it isn’t physical? Of course, a psychologist might be an option. If you still don’t think that is it, I know this sounds insane, but tell a priest. I “confessed” insomnia once, and it stopped right away. I really don’t know why I confessed it, but I did. It came back, but I just mention it again and beat it back into submission!

 

[domesticated]

I am sorry that this is happening to you. I can, however, imagine the stress this is causing. My husband, who at the time was 28 went through a bout with impotence. I know that the experience was very damaging to his self esteem. I agree with the other posts, go to the doctor and go to confession. Pray.

 

[SwizzleStick]

…Why has this happened? I know I know I know. Worse things have happened to better people than me…but it is amazing that the one thing I take comfort from is taken away from me. Yes this has rocked me.

One of your other posts on another thread offers a very strong clue. Since you have already seen a doctor and no physical cause was found, it would seem a good idea to see a therapist, considering.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

One of your other posts on another thread offers a very strong clue. Since you have already seen a doctor and no physical cause was found, it would seem a good idea to see a therapist, considering.

Ah, I see. Yes, I agree, there may be other reasons why this is happening. Time to deal with suppressed emotions perhaps.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Ah, I see. Yes, I agree, there may be other reasons why this is happening. Time to deal with suppressed emotions perhaps.

Yes, it appears to be the case to me that finding a good Catholic therapist is in order.