No, you were NOT. You simply were not looking (or perhaps living) in the right places.
The **** you describe may have happened there, but that did not happen everywhere.
Growing up in the Roman Church, in the Archdiocese of Anchorage, I can not recall a single mass without some women with head coverings of various sorts… Three partcular black women come to mind immediately… 2 with “big hats” (“Auntie” Ruth and her sister…), and one with a chapel veil (not a mantilla). But also were mantillas, scarves, hoods, wimples, wigs, hair, and even a couple of ladies with no hair and just their shaven heads. Blacks, Whites, Natives, Orientals, Polynesians. One man made derisive comments about mantillas… three DSP Sisters scolded him soundly.
It was the 1990’s before I saw a female alter server in the role of acolyte. They had a role in the liturgy in the early 70’s to late 80’s ( I was in charge of the Altar Server program at the Cathedral, under the careful supervision of the Pastor and the Deacons, in the 85-87 time frame)… limited to bringing forth the gifts, fetching things forgotten in the sacristy, and on rare occasions, holding the sacramentary, or carring the processional cross, and of course, praying the mass visibly, Humbly, and by example. They did not, however, handle sacred vessels, hold the pattens, nor hold nor pour for the lavabo.
Nor do I recall any being denied communion for kneeling, save one dwarfed woman at daily mass… she was asked to stand, as Fr. could not bend that low. And that was due to his gout.
Now, Abuses get the press, but I find that I seldom see these so-called abuses in the Roman Church locally.