Why Do I Act This Way In Confession?

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Still being new to the church and being familiar with the sacraments, I find the Sacrament of Reconciliation the hardest to cope with, I am a nervous person and almost too afraid to confess at times, but I have to say a small prayer in order to do it. In confession I have a had time looking at the priest, and what eye contact I do make I know in the heart I have nothing to hide, I do face to face confessions because the screen makes me feel as if I have to hide my face and I like to see who I am confessing to and for the priest to see me. Other times I tend to drop my head, the scary thing for me is how embarrassed I feel, I tend to look at the priests stole and his black shirt, I am not sure why I am doing it but I do it at certain points in confession, could this be of the types of confessions I give or the fact I realize I am not just talking to the priest I am confessing but to Jesus ( The Real Priest). Should I consider discussing this with my confessor, or pray that God will give me more strength to have better confession in the future.

I feel like a shyness has come over me and want to find a way to break it. Do any of you experience this or something similar to it?😊
 
CatholiCommit said:
Still being new to the church and being familiar with the sacraments, I find the Sacrament of Reconciliation the hardest to cope with, I am a nervous person and almost too afraid to confess at times, but I have to say a small prayer in order to do it. In confession I have a had time looking at the priest, and what eye contact I do make I know in the heart I have nothing to hide, I do face to face confessions because the screen makes me feel as if I have to hide my face and I like to see who I am confessing to and for the priest to see me. Other times I tend to drop my head, the scary thing for me is how embarrassed I feel, I tend to look at the priests stole and his black shirt, I am not sure why I am doing it but I do it at certain points in confession, could this be of the types of confessions I give or the fact I realize I am not just talking to the priest I am confessing but to Jesus ( The Real Priest). Should I consider discussing this with my confessor, or pray that God will give me more strength to have better confession in the future.

I feel like a shyness has come over me and want to find a way to break it. Do any of you experience this or something similar to it?😊
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Perhaps you are just being humble before Jesus who is present?🙂 Perhaps you are slightly embarrassed and ashamed? (The latter is healthy to an extent.)

I personally am the exact same way. Peace and good.
 
I can’t see anything wrong with what you describe! Just please be peaceful about all this. You’re doing well and your spirit in Confession sounds very good! Just continue as you are going! 🙂 You don’t need to be embaressed though. We all have our faults, even your priest, and he understands well. As you say, it is Jesus to whom you actually confess, and Jesus who gives you absolution!

God bless you for your courage and humility.

God bless you
Warm regards, Trishie
 
I, being naturally somewhat outgoing, still get really shy and nervious in Confession. I, too, have to pray really hard before Confession for the strength to say what I need to say. But, with God’s grace, I can. It also helps me to focus on how I know I’ll feel after making a good Confession. The sense of joy, peace, God’s presence being with me, etc. I know the purpose of this Sacrament has nothing to do with the feelings (and it’s about reconcilling my relationship with God and the Church), but feelings do help with the motivation of going to Confession, and in overcoming the fear, at least in my case.

I make good eye contact with most people outside of Confession, but again, I struggle with making eye contact in Confession. I pray the priest understands my fear (and probably does, seeing as he’s human, too), and sometimes I will mention that I’m really nervious or scared. I go to two confessors regularly, and one will tell me “be not afraid”, and the other one will crack a joke. Either way, it helps lessen the fear. Sometimes just admitting how scared I am in itself will relieve the fear. Also, I have a fear of forgetting anything (which I know isn’t sinful or makes it invalid… but I’m human) that I want to confess, so I write down everything I want to mention, but I’ll burn the list later.

The important thing to realize is (I’m paraphrasing from what I’ve heard on a few posts) God isn’t going to send us to hell on a technicality. If you go to Confession and you have every intention of making a good Confession, and you don’t deliberately omit anything that you’re conscious of, you are still forgiven of your sins. Just make sure to mention them the next time.

I’m praying for God’s grace for all of us who are nervious about Confession. It takes some brave people to face what they’re scared of again and again.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
It’s a matter of personal preference, but perhaps you should try using a confessional, where anonymity is preserved. It removes the “personal” element to some extent, but it is also useful for one who is shy about confessing.

I don’t mind face to face, but normally I prefer the confessional, precisely because it lets me simply tell my sins and not worry about the details of personal interaction with the priest, who is, after all, acting in the person of Christ.
 
You remind me of that beautiful Gospel story of the repentant publican who was in the back of the Temple, and wouldn’t even lift up his eyes but just kept saying ‘God have mercy on me, a sinner’.

I’m sure he found a special place in God’s favour for his heartfelt repentance, and I’m sure you do too.

God bless.
 
Sounds pretty much like how things go for me.

Normally the priest will say “hello” when I walk in, and we might talk for a second, but when it is time to get down to business, he will usually bow his head and avoid eye contact, as well, while I’m confessing. Sometimes I will glance up, but often, I find myself looking down, as well. I don’t worry about it. I have found that most priests don’t make eye contact during the confessing part.
 
Yeah, I wouldn’t say it’s a big deal. As a convert of a few years, I can say that confession seems to both stay the same and get easier over time. I never feel altogether… thrilled to have to sit down and confess all of these nasty things I’ve done, but in some way I do feel more used to it, or more as though it’s “business” than I used to.

What matters is that you confess your sins thoroughly and honestly. We can not really ever control our feelings, as you may have heard. That’s actually some of the advice that is often given about confession and sin. A brief flash of anger, for example, is somewhat beyond our control. What matters is how one deasl with it: does he approve of the feeling and act on it, or dissaprove of it and try to ignore or do away with it?

So in many ways, your feelings of shame or nervousness may be contributing more greatly to you sanctification and more pleasing to Jesus than if you lacked them. I often tell people a little parable of sorts when discussing whether or not praying when a person doesn’t really feel like it is good or not. (For example, many of my Protestant friends believe that it’s wrong to pray when you don’t feel like it, because it is going through the motions, not as heartfelt, or rote).

There were two mothers. One really enjoyed the things of motherhood. She found no end to the joy she got in feeding her boy, cleaning him, bathing him, dressing him, and any number of other things. The other was a bit more normal, perhaps, in that she certainly enjoyed caring for her child at times, but at other times really would rather not have to feed him, bathe him, and do all the work necessary to put him to bed at night. Now one night, it was time for the kids to go to sleep. The first mother very excitedly and happily went about preparing dinner, bathing him, reading him a bedtime story, and tucking him in. The second was very tired that night, and wanted very much to relax. However, knowing that her boy needed caring for, she prepared him a meal, gave him a bath, read him a story, and tucked him in, all with a smile.

Now which mother showed more love for her son that night? Obviously, it can be a bit subjective because we don’t know the hearts of each, and this is certainly not to say that the first mother was lacking any love for her child, but in a certain sense, we can really say that the second mother showed more love that night in that she did all that the child needed, smiling and making him feel cared for all the way, despite feeling as though this were all the last sort of things she would like to be doing.

In the same way, when you are ashamed or nervous in confession and through and in spite of that you honestly and humbly confess your sins, there is something a little extra there, something perhaps more pleasing to God, at least in a special way, then perhaps a confession another makes when he has an easy time with it. You are suffering in order to do what the Lord has asked you to and you do it anyways, and there is something special about that.
 
Hi,
I’ve been going to confession for nearly 30 years,and I am still a gibbering wreck when I am confessing, but when it is all over, well,you know the feeling!!!.
God Bless,
Mick.
 
I think what you describe, is pretty common. Whether we are “Cradle Catholics”… or Converts… confessing of our sins is not easy. But it is sooooooo worth the effort! 😉 Next to the Eucharist, I love the Sacrament of Reconciliation most!

I usually “hide” behind the screen :o lol. But this past Saturday, I went for my once-a-month confession and there was a new priest, hearing confessions. By “new” I mean, one that I hadn’t confessed to… before. Anyway… I happened to be first in line this time and he walked past, and went into the Confessional… then he popped out and smiled at me… and beckoned me to come inside.

Once I had closed the door… he very sweetly asked me… “Do you want to go behind the screen?”. I smiled… and said, “No Father… you’ve SEEN me!” And he laughed. It was like one of those BUSTED moments. :rotfl:

God bless you.
 
MarieVeronica said:
Once I had closed the door… he very sweetly asked me… “Do you want to go behind the screen?”. I smiled… and said, “No Father… you’ve SEEN me!” And he laughed. It was like one of those BUSTED moments. :rotfl:

God bless you.
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That made me laugh:D .

It’s funny, I feel strange using a screen. On the other hand, my mother can’t imagine not having the screen. It’s interesting how people feel differently about the screen. Thankfully Mother Church let’s us have it either way!

Peace and good.
 
How would God see this as special or unique in his eyes? I really have nothing to hide, this is just a form of shame for me, I know I can look at the Priest, could it be that the power Jesus gives the priest to absolve my sins is beyond compare, and the feeling I get when I walk in the room, which by the way I can not describe.
 
I would not be to worried 🙂
I go to confession every other week and I feel the same way, but once you get in there and start confessing, it is all worth it. I ask for the grace of God to fill me as I waiting in line and suddenly, the worry leaves me. And what a feeling when your done confessing. I look forward to it every chance that I get.
God Bless
:amen:
 
CatholiCommit said:
Still being new to the church and being familiar with the sacraments, I find the Sacrament of Reconciliation the hardest to cope with, I am a nervous person and almost too afraid to confess at times, but I have to say a small prayer in order to do it. In confession I have a had time looking at the priest, and what eye contact I do make I know in the heart I have nothing to hide, I do face to face confessions because the screen makes me feel as if I have to hide my face and I like to see who I am confessing to and for the priest to see me. Other times I tend to drop my head, the scary thing for me is how embarrassed I feel, I tend to look at the priests stole and his black shirt, I am not sure why I am doing it but I do it at certain points in confession, could this be of the types of confessions I give or the fact I realize I am not just talking to the priest I am confessing but to Jesus ( The Real Priest). Should I consider discussing this with my confessor, or pray that God will give me more strength to have better confession in the future.

I feel like a shyness has come over me and want to find a way to break it. Do any of you experience this or something similar to it?😊
Click to expand...
We confess to God thorugh the priest. The priest is only a screen between God and the sinner. Therefore, think not of the man but of the King of Mercy when you go to Confession. And Jesus symphasizes with us, for He, too, was tempted in the desert.
 
I don’t really see a problem with the way that you’re acting. I sometimes have a hard time looking at the priest and somtimes he closes his eyes also. I originally went to confession behind the screen, but started going face to face in order to make it more difficult to confess the same sins week after week. The embarrassment factor, along with the grace received, really helps me!

God Bless,
Gary
 
I’m 45 years old…went to catholic school grades 1-8…I still get real nervous before I go to confession…I think it is because I have to take the time to really take a good, honest look at myself and what makes me tick. And also brace myself to listen to answers or feedback that part of me doesn’t want to hear or accept but lots of times I am pleasantly surprised 😛 and I’m not as bad as I figured I am…😃
 
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