Why do most people ignore the Church's teaching on contraception?

[Hoosier_Daddy]

We’re all getting sidetracked with our personal agendas and problems.

The answer to the OPs question, in my opinion, is that some people do not have the financial or emotional bandwidth to unsuccessfully practice NFP. For those for whom it has always worked, it’s a non-issue. It works. For those who never tried, maybe it’s fear. But for those who tried and it failed it’s much more than that. Its survival.

there are many happy families with very little means who have far above the national average number of children. They welcome each one with excitement. I think it is difficult or maybe impossible for them to understand that there are some of us who don’t view another child with such excitement. It’s more than financial ability, it’s a physical and emotional ability. The church provides little in terms of practical help for those people.

Likewise, little practical support is provided for those families financially strapped other than a temporary band-aid that may not solve their problem. A family down the street just lost their house prior to thanksgiving after being unable to pay the mortgage. They have 8 children ranging from 22 to 8. I kept wishing I could help them. Not just like the St Vincent DePaul society with an electric bill. Really help them. Pay off their mortgage and give the father a job. I don’t want to be Warren Buffet rich. I’d settle for Jimmy Buffet.

Yes some people will fall and sin. The church has mercy for that. The first step to accepting that mercy is to repent. When we first got married and used abc, we never thought the church was wrong and we were right. And frankly I have never understood that prideful outlook. We confessed our sin, our weakness and over time became obedient to the church. As any heaven bound Saint should do. People forget in all this mercy talk that we are called to achieve heaven we are called to be holy. And it is the primary job of a spouce to help you achieve that. Abc can never be a part of that process. It is a cancer to the sacrament of marriage. It is the lie of Satan.

 

[Abu]

Thorolfr #155
What makes something “Church teaching” as opposed to the opinion of an errant pope? For example, the papal bull, Dum Diversas, which was issued by Pope Nicholas V in 1452, gave permission to the Portuguese to conquer Saracens and pagans and consign them to “perpetual servitude”. How would any Catholic back in 1452 have known that this was just the opinion of an “errant pope” and not Church teaching?

False. In no way can a localised instruction be compared to Magisterial doctrine on faith or morals for the whole Church. With such a misrepresentation no wonder that the Magisterium established by Christ is so misunderstood.

Dum Diversas was a real papal bull but it in no way is it a general endorsement of slavery. It is simply an authorization to the Spanish monarchy to engage the aggressor enemy of Christians in a “just war” and to take any survivors as prisoners and incarcerate them for life for their crimes against Christianity.
“Perpetual servitude” here, would equate to just servitude for a heinous crime – as with capital punishment for unprovoked and calculated murder, hardly unjust.

This repeats what Pope Innocent III and other popes expressed, while Pope Nicholas states clearly that this is a defensive and just war against people who are trying to destroy Catholic civilisation: “fidem ipsam defendere”.

The historical reality is of a weak, pre-Columbian, 15th century Christian kingdom like Portugal under constant attack from the Saracens.

 

[PaulinVA]

I’ll tell you why a lot of people ignore the Church’s teaching on contraception.

There are so many confusing aspects of the theology of sexuality, and the Church hasn’t created a teaching that people that easily understand. When you try to dig deeper, there are questions that aren’t answered in a plain way, but resort to allegory or esoterics.

So, people want to be faithful to the Church, as much as they see the faithfulness to be practical. Most people do not use NFP for two reasons: Abstinence and reliability. The real-world application of NFP has some people with 100% effectiveness (like my wife and me), and others who thought they did it correctly and had many more babies then they planned. True, some people have babies using ABC, too.

Women are afraid to get pregnant, except when they are trying. That is a strong motivator.

 

[_Abyssinia]

There was an interesting study of US Catholic women that came out in 2012 that looked at WHY Catholic women used contraception ‘What Catholic Women Think about Faith, Conscience, and Contraception’

catholicexchange.com/160259

For example, Catholic Exchange article says:

Even among the dissenting majority, however, not all are closed to the Church’s message on this subject. Hasson and Hill point out that about a third of these women mistakenly believe that the Church itself gives them the right to make up their own minds about which methods of family planning are morally acceptable. Many do not reject the Church’s authority out of hand.

Made bold by me.

1/3rd of Catholics that use contraception think the Church “gives them the right to make up their own minds about which methods of family planning are morally acceptable.” That is just so uninformed. Would those 1/3rd continue to use contraception if they were informed and educated that that the view is completely wrong?

Priests should speak more about issues like contraception in their homilies. If a lot of Catholic women who use contraception “rely mainly on the homily at Sunday Mass for learning about the faith,” that homily presents an opportunity to educate more about contraception. If there is an increase in the number of homilies that talk about contraception, that could have the potential to in turn reduce the number of women using contraception because they will become more informed and educated.

Catholic Exchange:

About one in four of those who attend Mass regularly shows an interest in learning more about the method: hearing from other couples about the health and relationship benefits of NFP, what doctors say about it, and scientific evidence about its effectiveness.

Maybe more Churches should invite couples who are using to NFP to come and give a talk to the parishioners and give practical information on how they use NFP.

In addition, Catholic media should highlight more stories about Natural Family Plannig.

 

[Memaw]

My honest opinion is that I do not believe that even abc closes a couple to procreation if it is the Will of Almighty God. Because God is all powerful, a virgin conceived a child, and Elizabeth conceived John the Baptist in her old age. Neither abstinence nor advanced age prevented these two women from conceiving because it was God’s Will that they do so. Maybe a couple desires to plan the birth of their children until after they finish their educations or desires that their children not exceed a number for which they can responsibly provide - I believe that even if they diligently practice some form of bc it will not prevail if it is God’s Will that they conceive. It just seems obvious to me.

God gave us a free will. Either we obey God’s Will or our own. Just because an ABC fails doesn’t mean that God overpowered the situation . Lets don’t use that as an excuse to justify our sinful actions. Funny how we can come up with so many weak reasons to justify our sins. Don’t make God the fall guy. God Bless, Memaw

 

[loumeland]

What makes something “Church teaching” as opposed to the opinion of an errant pope? For example, the papal bull, Dum Diversas, which was issued by Pope Nicholas V in 1452, gave permission to the Portuguese to conquer Saracens and pagans and consign them to “perpetual servitude”. How would any Catholic back in 1452 have known that this was just the opinion of an “errant pope” and not Church teaching?

Exactly. The Church has admitted to, and even apologised for, grave errors. The Holy Spirit is given, not only to the bishops but also to the people. The issue of contraception is not dogma (eg. the Creeds, 4 Marian dogmas, etc.) and can therefore be re-examined and re-formulated.

Before the 1800s, the Church spoke of Protestants in terms of hell and damnation. Now the Church speaks of Protestants as separated brethren. As any living organism, the Church grows and matures unto the full measure of Christ.

 

[Memaw]

The example I gave came from a Papal Bull. The birth control debate comes from a Papal Encylical. Who says that the former is fallible but the latter is infallible? You? Are you infallible now?

And yet the CCC says in 1800:

“A human being must always obey the certain judgment of his conscience.”

BUT, the Catholic Church also teaches that we MUST have a well formed conscience according to the teachings of the Catholic Church. We cannot just make up our own conscience. Look where that has led the human race. Certainly not down the correct path. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Usige]

It’s also worth noting that those who most fervently condemn contraception are either not married themselves, or have always wanted lots of children in order to have a sense of fulfillment. Certainly not the majority.

I for one do not fit you generalization. My wife and I had two children and then I was sterilized. Neither of us were Catholic and we bought into the idea that it was irresponsible to have more than two kids. As we converted I came to understand why the Church taught the evil or contraception. About 8 weeks before I was received into the Church I was sitting in adoration and praying about my grief over my sins and selfishness. I came out of adoration knowing that I had to set things right so I scheduled a vasectomy reversal. At the time we were told that we only had about a 30-40% chance of having anymore children. Having a ton of children wasn’t the point though. I sought to fix my relationship with God that I had damaged by my selfishness. As of yesterday we have had 5 more children since my reversal.

It is a little offensive to say people have a bunch of children for self fullfilment. When my wife and I got married 21 years ago I never planned on having 7 kids and having them has zero to do with self fulfillment. Children are a gift from God, not a burden you grudgingly accept. If anything it would seem those that embrace contraception are the ones focused on self fullfilment and see children as standing in the way of their wants.

BTW I do know many people who embrace NFP that are married and only have 2 or 3 children over 12+ years of marriage.

 

[Memaw]

Life brings its own full course of troubles and difficulties- and we want to create even some more as some kind of “test of loyalty” to see who are the ones that walk the “small gate and narrow way”! Listen to what Pope Francis is saying! Do not put your trust in institutions, structures, or organizations- even Church organization!

Those who are recalcitrant in condemning married couples who use contraception are putting their trust in church structures (the letter) and not listening to the Holy Spirit. It is possible for a man to go through the motions and obey Canon Law- yet not have the Holy Spirit!

The Holy Spirit works Infallibly in the Catholic Church, not in whatever we want. Your reading more into what you “think” Pope Francis said and that is very misleading. If we can’t trust the very Church that Jesus gave us and promised it would NEVER teach error, than what can we trust?? Certainly not ourselves. God will be the one to judge who “walks the narrow path!” God Bless, Memaw

 

[gardenswithkids]

I for one do not fit you generalization. My wife and I had two children and then I was sterilized. Neither of us were Catholic and we bought into the idea that it was irresponsible to have more than two kids. As we converted I came to understand why the Church taught the evil or contraception. About 8 weeks before I was received into the Church I was sitting in adoration and praying about my grief over my sins and selfishness. I came out of adoration knowing that I had to set things right so I scheduled a vasectomy reversal. At the time we were told that we only had about a 30-40% chance of having anymore children. Having a ton of children wasn’t the point though. I sought to fix my relationship with God that I had damaged by my selfishness. As of yesterday we have had 5 more children since my reversal.

It is a little offensive to say people have a bunch of children for self fullfilment. When my wife and I got married 21 years ago I never planned on having 7 kids and having them has zero to do with self fulfillment. Children are a gift from God, not a burden you grudgingly accept…

:clapping:
I love your witness to the Truth of the Church’s teaching as you experienced it personally! It’s your personal story, yet it echoes the Story of Salvation through the generations.

It’s far more “convenient” for some people to put us into little boxes that they can dismiss when they assume those of us with large families “always wanted” many children. They dismiss God’s ability to change our hearts–perhaps because they are afraid He may change theirs.

“Children are a gift from God, not a burden you grudgingly accept.” What a lovely and very Bilblical perspective! And it was the Word of God that helped change my heart. It’s really quite simple: God views children as blessings. Catholic teachings on sexuality are based o that notion, along with not just theology but biology: children are blessings, and our reproductive organs and the sexual act were designed by God for reproduction.

The Church permits but does not require married couples to use NFP when there are good reasons for a couple to want to avoid pregnancy. NFP somewhat overshadows and confuses the Church teaching in our culture. NFP is the “exception”, not the rule.

People will continue to dismiss us and take wild guesses about who we were before God changed us into who we are today. We’re part of a larger story of Salvation that is filled with signs of contradictions.

 

[_Abyssinia]

I don’t think asking people to use NFP exclusively, given its high failure rate, is somehow aligned with the mission of Christ. I think effective family planning practices can enhance the faith by enabling families to direct finite resources where needed. In the US, most families need two incomes to survive. That’s hard to accomplish when using ineffective birth control. Daycare for many families is impossible due to cost. Reliance on shift work, kid swapping, latch key kids, etc. Is that what we want because that’s what we are forcing people to do. The psychological and economic stress on families is very real. And sometimes we have to let go of things that we’d rather not do without. Sometimes the sacrifice we make for our family is giving up church. I have a friend with 5 kids. She’s catholic and a single mom (divorced). She’s a nurse and makes a fairly good income, but she also works as a school cafeteria aide in order to keep the lights on. One of her kids is on the spectrum and one has learning disabilities. I noticed her son was not in the 8th grade religious ed program this year (I teach 8th grade in the program). He needs to be in the program to get confirmed in March. She just can’t do it all. Being Catholic and having kids is not a guarantee that we’ll populate heaven. Disregarding the real psychological and economic needs of parents and families can and does negatively impact the church. You asked how I could support the position I do. I ask you the same thing.

Regarding your claim about the failure rate, the thing is, as I’ve been reading, there are different types of NFP methods. This website details the different methods: natural-family-planning.info

If a study of NFP claims there is a high failure rate, what methods of NFP is the study looking at? It may be that certain methods have a higher failure rate than others. You also need to make sure that the participants were actively trying not to get pregnant while using an NFP method. But there has to be a just reason to use NFP, and as this response to a person who is concerned about being “overwhelmed” with too many children shows, “just reason can include a desire to space children in such a manner that the parents’ financial, physical, and emotional resources are not overtaxed” - chastity.com/question/must-a-couple-have-grave-reason-to-use-nfp

The fact is, using contraception can’t be reconciled with Catholic teaching. Even if contraception were allowed by Catholic teaching, failure rates still exist, people can still get pregnant with contraception. Using contraception is not a full proof way of not getting pregnant.

 

[Abu]

loumeland ##169
The issue of contraception is not dogma (eg. the Creeds, 4 Marian dogmas, etc.) and can therefore be re-examined and re-formulated.

False.

That shows a lack of knowledge of the Church’s teaching, which dissenters usually display, and which has been in stark evidence in this discussion. It’s so easy to be a cafeteria Catholic, picking and choosing what to believe and do, but Jesus has mandated:
“if he refuses to hear even the Church let him be like the heathen and a publican.” (Mt 18:17).

Real Catholics follow Christ’s Church as She teaches:
1) Dogma – infallible (Canon #750.1) to be believed with the assent of divine and Catholic faith.
2) Doctrine – infallible (Canon #750.2) requires the assent of ecclesial faith, to be “firmly embraced and held”.
3) Doctrine – non-definitive (non-infallible) and requires intellectual assent (“loyal submission of the will and intellect”, Vatican II, *Lumen Gentium *25), not an assent of faith.

Vatican II, reiterated the teaching of Vatican I on papal infallibility, and its documents are readily available [from the EWTN Library (http://www.ewtn.com/vlibrary/search.asp, or the Vatican Library).

It is high time that those who call themselves Catholics listen to Christ Himself:
Jesus explicitly made four promises to Peter alone:
“You are Peter and on this rock I will build My Church.” (Mt 16:18)
“The gates of hell will not prevail against it.”(Mt 16:18)
“I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of heaven." (Mt 16:19)
“Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven.” (Mt 16:19) [Later to the Twelve, also].

Sole authority:
“Strengthen your brethren.” (Lk 22:32)
“Feed My sheep.”(Jn 21:17).

There is no excuse for a Catholic publicly challenging the doctrines of the Church through misrepresentation while failing to ensure that the real doctrine is known.

 

[SAVINGRACE]

Listen to what Pope Francis is saying! **Do not put your trust in institutions, structures, or organizations- even Church organization!

Those who are recalcitrant in condemning married couples who use contraception are putting their trust in church structures (the letter) and not listening to the Holy Spirit. It is possible for a man to go through the motions and obey Canon Law- yet not have the Holy Spirit!**

:tsktsk: Pope Francis does not teach that contraception is okay. “Do not trust Church organisations”. Really! :tsktsk:

 

[PaulinVA]

False.

That shows a lack of knowledge of the Church’s teaching, which dissenters usually display, and which has been in stark evidence in this discussion. It’s so easy to be a cafeteria Catholic, picking and choosing what to believe and do, but Jesus has mandated:

When you formulate posts like this, do you purposely try to be rude and uncharitable?

If you want to respond to someone who says that the Church’s position on contraception is not dogma, the appropriate response is to cite the document that shows that the Church’s position on contraception is dogma. (It’s not, it’s a doctrine, but you get the point).

Calling someone a dissenter and then citing a bunch on references on infallibility, instead of contraception, doesn’t advance the discussion.

 

[LongingSoul]

1/3rd of Catholics that use contraception think the Church “gives them the right to make up their own minds about which methods of family planning are morally acceptable.” That is just so uninformed. Would those 1/3rd continue to use contraception if they were informed and educated that that the view is completely wrong?

That view of contraception and the Church is certainly true of the younger generation and that view is reinforced by the conviction that a woman has ultimate control over her body bar none even Church teaching.

Priests should speak more about issues like contraception in their homilies. If a lot of Catholic women who use contraception “rely mainly on the homily at Sunday Mass for learning about the faith,” that homily presents an opportunity to educate more about contraception. If there is an increase in the number of homilies that talk about contraception, that could have the potential to in turn reduce the number of women using contraception because they will become more informed and educated.

I’m not as convinced that the pulpit is the best place to spread the news about this issue. Traditionally these things have been passed on through the women of the family and womens health professionals like the old time midwives. Even in pagan cultures there was an accommodation for a womens network for this area of life. The Australian aboriginals have sacred sites that were once dedicated to ‘secret womens business’.

I personally think it should be a high priority in Catholic girls highschool where the girls are got pre or just into puberty and given instruction in the the Catholic mores of the sexual life. Absent a generation of mothers with any real understanding of Church teaching… I can only think of the Catholic girls schools as places to get a good coverage of young Catholic women.

Maybe more Churches should invite couples who are using to NFP to come and give a talk to the parishioners and give practical information on how they use NFP.

In addition, Catholic media should highlight more stories about Natural Family Plannig.

The biggest problem that I’ve witnessed through these online discussions, is when people try to adopt NFP into a secular view of sexuality. When people have already developed the appetite for sexual freedom, there’s more than just the practical use problems to be addressed. Living the conjugal life in accordance with God and nature requires a positive and meaningful view of abstinence. Abstinence used to be a highly visible good through the witness of the ordained and consecrated celibate religious, but there’s very few examples of the goods of abstinence visible today. It’s even the subject of ridicule and hostility.

Perhaps as Theology of the Body is embraced by the Catholic Church there’ll be a renewed desire and respect for chastity in general.

 

[SAVINGRACE]

I for one do not fit your generalization.
It is a little offensive to say people have a bunch of children for self fullfilment. When my wife and I got married 21 years ago I never planned on having 7 kids and having them has zero to do with self fulfillment. Children are a gift from God, not a burden you grudgingly accept. If anything it would seem those that embrace contraception are the ones focused on self fullfilment and see children as standing in the way of their wants.

BTW I do know many people who embrace NFP that are married and only have 2 or 3 children over 12+ years of marriage.

I wonder if Loumeland has children to make such a shallow statement. I don’t know any parent, myself included, christian or otherwise who views their children as being there for self-fulfillment. That includes parents of one child to 10 children.

All children are a blessing from God. Our only child brings us great joy and she also adds a whole new dimension to our spiritual life. We understood just how much God the Father loves us as his sons and daughters and how awesome it is that we get participate in the mystery of creation.

 

[PhiloMed]

It’s far more “convenient” for some people to put us into little boxes that they can dismiss when they assume those of us with large families “always wanted” many children. They dismiss God’s ability to change our hearts–perhaps because they are afraid He may change theirs.

So what about someone like me? I thought I wanted a house full of kids. 5 at least, whatever God wanted for us to have. Used ABC for years and had the proverbial “change of heart”. Guess what? 5 kids sounds like a nightmare to me. I’m going to have our third and I am absolutely done. I wasn’t ready for the second one. The stress on our marriage brought us to the brink of divorce and at times we have held on by a thread.

Yeah, that “change of heart” goes both ways too. Mine swung in completely the opposite direction.

 

[Regina7]

So what about someone like me? I thought I wanted a house full of kids. 5 at least, whatever God wanted for us to have. Used ABC for years and had the proverbial “change of heart”. Guess what? 5 kids sounds like a nightmare to me. I’m going to have our third and I am absolutely done. I wasn’t ready for the second one. The stress on our marriage brought us to the brink of divorce and at times we have held on by a thread.

Yeah, that “change of heart” goes both ways too. Mine swung in completely the opposite direction.

Perhaps this is what’s needed for your sanctification. Or perhaps one of these kids will end up a canonized saint.

I wanted a houseful of kids, but I have more in the cemetary than I do in the house.

I’ve had to learn the hard way (the only way I know how) that it’s not about what I want; it’s what God wants for me. He wants us all in heaven with him, and if the way to do this is through our children, then shouldn’t we be open to this?

 

[PhiloMed]

Perhaps this is what’s needed for your sanctification. Or perhaps one of these kids will end up a canonized saint.

I wanted a houseful of kids, but I have more in the cemetary than I do in the house.

I’ve had to learn the hard way (the only way I know how) that it’s not about what I want; it’s what God wants for me. He wants us all in heaven with him, and if the way to do this is through our children, then shouldn’t we be open to this?

I tried that, and the result is that I grow further from God with each pregnancy and with each screaming child.

Not everyone is brought closer to heaven this way.

 

[Regina7]

I tried that, and the result is that I grow further from God with each pregnancy and with each screaming child.

Not everyone is brought closer to heaven this way.

Perhaps this is sanctifying you- purgatory on Earth. A nun friend of mine always says she’d much rather have purgatory here.

What is it exactly that you think pushed you away from God? Of course don’t answer if I’m overstepping.