Why do most people ignore the Church's teaching on contraception?

[Xantippe]

What can the church do? As I said, it would be really good if instead of only having Lay volunteers as instructors they could involve pro life obgyns with proper medical knowledge to help couples for.whom.NFP does.not.work.because they are not in the standardized norm. In my pro life group abroad we used to have an.entire list of pro life obgyns to.supportpeople. Why ccan’t similar initiatives be done in the U.S.?

Again I agree with NFP but having the blanket philosophy of well it doesn’t work don’t have sex (specifically writhing marriage) is exactly like in the area of.abortion saying to a pregnant woman that have no means to support the kid you cannot abort but when the kid is born good luck with it and turning tour back on her. Let’s.be realistic, telling a married couple who have real.reasons to not.get pregnant again don’t have sex ever for the rest of your life is going to cause divorces and family ruptures and marital problems.and unhappy children. We already facing a.destruction.of the nuclear family, so.should we help.to destroy families quicker because the policy is don’t have sex good luck, deal with it? To me that seems.uncharitable and it fuels the anti life movement and it gives them strong ammunition.

There are many strategies that the church can do…which in fact are done in.other countries and they work (there is. Reason why the anti life movement.has.more.difficulty getting into.other cultures than the US). It is.not.about starting a spiritual.war, it is about opening eyes. Starting a.ministry here in the US is not that easy. I have spent.years of.my life being active in.pro life groups and I have to say that in the U.S. it is a much more difficult task because people, don’t.think is necessary, they are stuck with the idea that NFP will work for everyone no matter what, they don’t see it.as.an.issue, or they have the attitude of lay back and see what happens, then add that there are many parishes with priests that would not help. Saying start a.ministry is a much more easier to be said than done, even in my parish that has a very old.fashioned understanding and helpful priest is.not.that easy if people don’t.open.their eyes to the fact that there is more to.do.

To be fair, it wouldn’t be abstinence for the rest of their lives, but for the rest of their fertile years.

Bad, but not quite as bad.

 

[marymary1975]

I wonder of the statement regarding NFP instructors not being medical professionals is localized?

Because my Creighton instructor (over 10 years ago) is an RN. And, Marquette was developed at the nursing school at Marquette… so, many Marquette instructors are nurses.

And a lot of pro life doctors have trained with Dr. Hilgers.

What I mean is that the vast majority of.NFP instructors are not.medical.professionals, that is doctors. Yes having neuroses is good.but a nurse doesn’t have the medical knowledge of a doctor. If you have a disease and.go to a.nurse probably the nurse will tell you that you needa doctor because a nurse ddoesn’t have the training and education of a doctor to diagnose. That is the issue. Most people for whom.NFP don’t work have issues that are outside of the standard and under any other circumstance would need to.see a doctor, in consequence when they are having difficulties they need to see.someone.with medical expertise to give them.proper guidance.

 

[marymary1975]

To be fair, it wouldn’t be abstinence for the rest of their lives, but for the rest of their fertile years.

Bad, but not quite as bad.

Well yes, you are right. Not that bad, just until after menopause.

 

[jtauke]

To be fair, it wouldn’t be abstinence for the rest of their lives, but for the rest of their fertile years.

Bad, but not quite as bad.

I’m sure people jump at the prospect of getting to have sex with their spouse once the parts tend to stop working properly on both sides.

 

[Burt_Macklin]

To be fair, it wouldn’t be abstinence for the rest of their lives, but for the rest of their fertile years.

Bad, but not quite as bad.

I have serious doubts that most marriages would survive 15 plus years of abstinence or that there would be any desire to resume relations after becoming accustomed to abstinence.

 

[marymary1975]

I have serious doubts that most marriages would survive 15 plus years of abstinence or that there would be any desire to resume relations after becoming accustomed to abstinence.

That is exactly my point. Very few marriages will survive 15 plus years of abstinence. We are already experiencimg a crisis in society in the area of marriage and the nuclear family is under attack. Do we really want to add to.the current crisis by just telling.people abstinence for.15 plus years and turn our.backs to.them? If what we want is to.save souls.and help.families we need to.provide more support and help to people that are struggling with info.

 

[PaulinVA]

I only have a High School education and yet I understand the Church’s teaching on ABC. . Have you ever read or I should say studied, Humanae Vitae ? It is a beautiful Encyclical, well worth studying.

Yes, I have.

The problem is in what you said, “people want to be faithful to the Church, as much as they see the faithfulness to be practical.” That’s why we have so many “cafeteria” Catholics. We are to be faithful to Church teachings even when it doesn’t seem “practical” to us.

Yes, it is not practical for a woman who has irregular cycles to perfectly regulate births using the various methods of NFP. Just read postings here to get a sense of the frustration of couples trying to be faithful who have ended up at their wits end with too many children to handle.

It is also not practical to abstain for years until menopause.

So, you are right, that is why people pick and choose what teachings to follow.

 

[Burt_Macklin]

That is exactly my point. Very few marriages will survive 15 plus years of abstinence. We are already experiencimg a crisis in society in the area of marriage and the nuclear family is under attack. Do we really want to add to.the current crisis by just telling.people abstinence for.15 plus years and turn our.backs to.them? If what we want is to.save souls.and help.families we need to.provide more support and help to people that are struggling with info.

I don’t think that the problem is one that can be solved in the abstract. I wouldn’t blithely recommend abstinence but would recommend a couple seek spiritual direction for guidance.

 

[Regina7]

So, you are right, that is why people pick and choose what teachings to follow.

And that’s why Our Lady of Fatima said that souls are falling into hell like snowflakes.

 

[loumeland]

I have serious doubts that most marriages would survive 15 plus years of abstinence or that there would be any desire to resume relations after becoming accustomed to abstinence.

Yep. There’s La-La Land and then there’s the real world.

 

[anthrogirl]

I agree with you. This is why I say that to me it is problematic.that is very hard to find experiences medical.professionals assisting people with NFp. Most of the time the instructions are done on a generalized group of women that fall into a very specific pattern, so if you are outside of the pattern it is disaster. I have a.very odd case too as I have a very outside the norm long cycle which would have thrown off any NFP instructor. I was lucky enough to have a very Catholic.pro life obgyn (though not in the US) who was able to figure it out for me, but had I been at the time in the U.S. of I would had tried to use any type of.NFP it would have been massive disaster.

I was introduced to NFP by a couple who volunteered to teach the marriage prep classes I took at a church on the east side of Baltimore. They were not medical professionals by any sense of the word. When medical professionals in highly rated national fertility programs are putting out statistical norms as truths, there is no hope for the layman teaching a class. NFP has a failure rate of 24% and that’s why the American Academy of Ob and Gyn has come out against the use of NFP by women who are at serious medical risk if they were to become pregnant.

 

[kptrs]

Sigh

I’m going to go ahead and speak up, and I’m fully prepared to be rolled over coals.

I have my own issues with the contraception teaching from time to time. But in the end, I do understand why it’s intrinsically evil and why NFP is not intrinsically evil. And I do accept the teaching and strive to follow it. My husband and I use the Marquette Method and so far have zero unplanned pregnancies.

That said, what truly bothers me are the people who believe that children are the one and only purpose of marriage and if you’re not willing to have at least ten kids spaced nine months apart and love every minute of it, despite the pains of pregnancy and childbirth, the sleep deprivation, the lack of energy, the physical and mental demands of raising children, then you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Those who preach NFP is just as bad as contraception. Those who think the only “just reasons” for using NFP to space births are the mother having a terminal illness or a husband and wife experiencing total bankruptcy. Those who think a married couple needs to get the approval of a priest to know whether their particular circumstances and reasons for using NFP are “just” or not. That’s NOT Church teaching. It’s a misinterpretation of Church teaching. And those who go around preaching it to everyone who is following the Church teaching by avoiding contraception and doing the hard work to follow NFP is placing an undue burden of guilt on those who love God and children and simply want to practice responsible family planning, as ENCOURAGED by the Church.

Children are one of the main purposes of marriage, but that doesn’t mean responsible family planning via NFP is a sin. The Church considers it a virtue.

No one on this thread has done any of the above, but there are plenty of people on other threads and in real life who do. And this is what bothers me.

 

[LongingSoul]

Yes, it is not practical for a woman who has irregular cycles to perfectly regulate births using the various methods of NFP. Just read postings here to get a sense of the frustration of couples trying to be faithful who have ended up at their wits end with too many children to handle.

It is also not practical to abstain for years until menopause.

So, you are right, that is why people pick and choose what teachings to follow.

Where do you think the Church is wrong here, Paul? Like you and your wife, we’ve always done nfp throughout the marriage in a faithful way. Like you also, I don’t have that hostility that some have towards people who find it terribly hard or even impossible. But what I do trust is that it is not just a discipline as with the Protestant Church… but an obligation to protect the dignity of human life against the culture of death. How do you stand on HV and its very strict prohibition and do you have similar feelings about other prolife issues like euthanasia and suicide?

 

[LongingSoul]

Sigh

I’m going to go ahead and speak up, and I’m fully prepared to be rolled over coals.

I have my own issues with the contraception teaching from time to time. But in the end, I do understand why it’s intrinsically evil and why NFP is not intrinsically evil. And I do accept the teaching and strive to follow it. My husband and I use the Marquette Method and so far have zero unplanned pregnancies.

That said, what truly bothers me are the people who believe that children are the one and only purpose of marriage and if you’re not willing to have at least ten kids spaced nine months apart and love every minute of it, despite the pains of pregnancy and childbirth, the sleep deprivation, the lack of energy, the physical and mental demands of raising children, then you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Those who preach NFP is just as bad as contraception. Those who think the only “just reasons” for using NFP to space births are the mother having a terminal illness or a husband and wife experiencing total bankruptcy. Those who think a married couple needs to get the approval of a priest to know whether their particular circumstances and reasons for using NFP are “just” or not. That’s NOT Church teaching. It’s a misinterpretation of Church teaching. And those who go around preaching it to everyone who is following the Church teaching by avoiding contraception and doing the hard work to follow NFP is placing an undue burden of guilt on those who love God and children and simply want to practice responsible family planning, as ENCOURAGED by the Church.

Children are one of the main purposes of marriage, but that doesn’t mean responsible family planning via NFP is a sin. The Church considers it a virtue.

No one on this thread has done any of the above, but there are plenty of people on other threads and in real life who do. And this is what bothers me.

A… men !!!

 

[marymary1975]

I don’t think that the problem is one that can be solved in the abstract. I wouldn’t blithely recommend abstinence but would recommend a couple seek spiritual direction for guidance.

At least one problem that I can see that can be addressed is to involve medical professionals in the NFP.trainings, and not nurses, obgyns. There have to be pro life obgyns in this country, let’s involve them. I also proposed one to obtains donations of the clear blue fertility monitor and the strips to donate to families that show that cannot afford them and have an actual.need for it. Everybody at the church looked at me as if I was crazy. Obviously a couple like that does need spiritual guideance but there are areas that have issues that can be solved.

 

[1ke]

At least one problem that I can see that can be addressed is to involve medical professionals in the NFP.trainings, and not nurses, obgyns. There have to be pro life obgyns in this country, let’s involve them.

I don’t know why you believe pro-life OB/GYNs are “uninvolved”.

fertilitycare.org/
onemoresoul.com/nfp_by_spec/Obstetrics-Gynecology
onemoresoul.com/nfp-directory

I also proposed one to obtains donations of the clear blue fertility monitor and the strips to donate to families that show that cannot afford them and have an actual.need for it. Everybody at the church looked at me as if I was crazy. Obviously a couple like that does need spiritual guideance but there are areas that have issues that can be solved.

Did you propose this to your pastor? Did you volunteer to organize it and fundraise?

My pastor has never turned down anything I’ve suggested or other parishioners have suggested. However, we had to do the work.

Have a sit down meeting with your pastor and have a well thought out plan with you that includes costs, fundraising suggestions, and your plan for managing and determining income/'need".

Perhaps it might be good to work with a social services agency instead, such as Catholic Charities or St Vincent De Paul. They have the mechanisms in place for screening already.

 

[PaulinVA]

Where do you think the Church is wrong here, Paul? Like you and your wife, we’ve always done nfp throughout the marriage in a faithful way. Like you also, I don’t have that hostility that some have towards people who find it terribly hard or even impossible. But what I do trust is that it is not just a discipline as with the Protestant Church… but an obligation to protect the dignity of human life against the culture of death. How do you stand on HV and its very strict prohibition and do you have similar feelings about other prolife issues like euthanasia and suicide?

First, I haven’t posted recently about our first son, but he was born with a horrific birth defect that resulted in him being in a vegetative state his entire three year life. We found out during an ultrasound. We respected his life from conception to his natural death.

I assent to all Church teachings, even if I don’t agree with them or understand them. Sometimes it seems like we have been relieved of the yoke of the Jewish law only to find ourselves crushed by the weight of the Catholic law.

As to what is the answer to the contraception question? I don’t know. My wife and I were extremely lucky, in that her cycles were regular enough to make the Symto-Thermal Method work. But, there was a lot of abstinence, including over a year as she went through menopause. I’m not sure every couple can endure that.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Sigh

I’m going to go ahead and speak up, and I’m fully prepared to be rolled over coals.

I have my own issues with the contraception teaching from time to time. But in the end, I do understand why it’s intrinsically evil and why NFP is not intrinsically evil. And I do accept the teaching and strive to follow it. My husband and I use the Marquette Method and so far have zero unplanned pregnancies.

That said, what truly bothers me are the people who believe that children are the one and only purpose of marriage and if you’re not willing to have at least ten kids spaced nine months apart and love every minute of it, despite the pains of pregnancy and childbirth, the sleep deprivation, the lack of energy, the physical and mental demands of raising children, then you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Those who preach NFP is just as bad as contraception. Those who think the only “just reasons” for using NFP to space births are the mother having a terminal illness or a husband and wife experiencing total bankruptcy. Those who think a married couple needs to get the approval of a priest to know whether their particular circumstances and reasons for using NFP are “just” or not. That’s NOT Church teaching. It’s a misinterpretation of Church teaching. And those who go around preaching it to everyone who is following the Church teaching by avoiding contraception and doing the hard work to follow NFP is placing an undue burden of guilt on those who love God and children and simply want to practice responsible family planning, as ENCOURAGED by the Church.

Children are one of the main purposes of marriage, but that doesn’t mean responsible family planning via NFP is a sin. The Church considers it a virtue.

No one on this thread has done any of the above, but there are plenty of people on other threads and in real life who do. And this is what bothers me.

I’m one of the most conservative posters on this issue on CAF and if anyone takes you over the coals for this I’ll take them to the woodshed. You post was an accurate one that was truthful. It rings true for many while not denying the church, excusing sin, or encouraging weakness. Just an honest post about the real struggle between the spirit and the flesh that is old as time.

 

[loumeland]

I assent to all Church teachings, even if I don’t agree with them or understand them. Sometimes it seems like we have been relieved of the yoke of the Jewish law only to find ourselves crushed by the weight of the Catholic law.

Even the Orthodox chide us for this. When one is so encumbered with canon law and constantly wondering about one’s standing before God to the point where one simply has no energy to love God and your neighbor, there has to be something wrong.

 

[Xantippe]

Sigh

I’m going to go ahead and speak up, and I’m fully prepared to be rolled over coals.

I have my own issues with the contraception teaching from time to time. But in the end, I do understand why it’s intrinsically evil and why NFP is not intrinsically evil. And I do accept the teaching and strive to follow it. My husband and I use the Marquette Method and so far have zero unplanned pregnancies.

That said, what truly bothers me are the people who believe that children are the one and only purpose of marriage and if you’re not willing to have at least ten kids spaced nine months apart and love every minute of it, despite the pains of pregnancy and childbirth, the sleep deprivation, the lack of energy, the physical and mental demands of raising children, then you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. Those who preach NFP is just as bad as contraception. Those who think the only “just reasons” for using NFP to space births are the mother having a terminal illness or a husband and wife experiencing total bankruptcy. Those who think a married couple needs to get the approval of a priest to know whether their particular circumstances and reasons for using NFP are “just” or not. That’s NOT Church teaching. It’s a misinterpretation of Church teaching. And those who go around preaching it to everyone who is following the Church teaching by avoiding contraception and doing the hard work to follow NFP is placing an undue burden of guilt on those who love God and children and simply want to practice responsible family planning, as ENCOURAGED by the Church.

Children are one of the main purposes of marriage, but that doesn’t mean responsible family planning via NFP is a sin. The Church considers it a virtue.

No one on this thread has done any of the above, but there are plenty of people on other threads and in real life who do. And this is what bothers me.

And that stuff, by the by, is just as much ignoring Church teaching.