Why do people leave the Church?

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LovelyLadybug

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Why do some people stop being Catholic? I have a few relatives who left. I pray for them every day. I just don’t understand why anybody would want to leave. 🙂
 
Mostly because the don’t really understand what they are leaving or why?
It usually has to do with a disagreement with a priest, deacon or some Church employee. And then there is the abuse scandal, many use that as an excuse.
 
In addition to what Cilla said, a lot of people want to do things that the Church without question says are sinful. They decide on their own that these things are okay and leave the Church to go do them.
 
Sometimes, they questions if the Catholic church is really the church Jesus created on Peter. They question if the Catholic church is the only church that leads you to God. They question if the traditions of the Catholic church are sometimes more important then scripture. They question if anyone who isn’t a devout Catholic will ever understand the struggles others have with knowing if the Catholic church is really what it say it is.
 
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Sometimes because they choose themselves over God. Like the fallen angels.
 
I think you could make a list of thousands of reasons why someone would leave…and there is probably at least one person who left for that reason.

Have you asked your relatives why they left? You may or may not get an answer or a truthful one, however. Most people that I’ve known that were Catholic and left (it’s a small number) list losing faith in God or deciding that the Church was wrong about xxx and their current church is correct. The xxx is usually not some petty thing but some bigger theological thing.

While I could understand someone leaving over the sex scandal, I don’t actually know anyone that uses that for their reason! But, I don’t know a lot of Catholics to begin with…
 
I never asked my relatives why they left. I figured it was a touchy topic and that it would be rude. 🙂
 
Pattylt said:
While I could understand someone leaving over the sex scandal, I don’t actually know anyone that uses that for their reason!
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I’m guessing that some victims, their families, friends, and others close to such a situation might leave over clergy sex abuse. Some of them likely have a panic attack just stepping foot in a Catholic Church or seeing a priest. Some of them are probably very angry.

There are other Catholics who haven’t been too personally affected by the scandal, but would use it as an excuse to leave or the “straw that broke the camels back” if they are already struggling with some aspect of Church teaching or Church people and then this scandal popped up. It’s like a “who are they to tell me how to behave when they can’t even keep their own house in order.”
 
It could be considered rude by some and it would depend on your closeness to them. I’ve found that if I’m just having a casual discussion with someone and just ask, …Hey, I’m curious! Would you mind if I asked you why you left the church? Then they are free to say, Yes, I mind or No, I left for xxx reason(s). I take it from there, dropping it immediately if they mind.

Be prepared however that if they don’t mind discussing it, you might get an earful. As much as you would want to defend the faith at that point, it’s actually much better if you just acknowledge their response and thank them for sharing it. Defending should come at another time else they will feel attacked and go into defense mode…and it won’t help them…or you! If they ask questions, feel free to answer them but if they don’t, don’t push them. Accept their reply…it might still be a sore spot and you certainly don’t want to make things worse! 😀🤔😀
 
I was raised catholic privately schooled 2nd grade to 12. I didnt “leave”, as much as I drifted away. I’m reverting back since 11.1.19
 
I think the most common reasons would be, not necessarily in this order:
  • They simply don’t believe in God/Christianity any more. Let’s be realistic, a lot of people lose their faith. It could be that they feel that science disproves miracles, that too many of their prayers seem to go unanswered, that they cannot reconcile bad things happening with the existence of a good God, etc.
  • They started going to an evangelical/non-denominational/Pentecostal church. These churches are very attractive to a lot of people. They often offer a simpler message (“Give your life to Jesus/let Jesus into your heart/have a personal relationship with Jesus”), the worship is rather lively, and they seem to have more social events.
  • People still sort of believe, but other things get in the way of practicing. I have a friend who is fond of saying “I don’t practice, but I believe”, which I think means, “I will identify as a Catholic when it suits me, but I don’t want the hassle of having to do anything particularly Catholic”.
  • People leave the Church because they marry somebody who is not a Catholic and it’s easier to join the other person’s church or just not to go to church at all.
  • Then you have people who leave over one or more of the following: contraception, divorce/remarriage, homosexuality.
  • Also, people who leave over the role of women in the Church, such as women not being ordained.
  • And then, as already pointed out, you have a lot of people who were directly affected by the abuse crisis (they were abused by clergy or religious or their child/sibling/spouse etc. was) or who simply lost trust in the institution of the Church as a result of the abuse and, in particular, all the cover-ups.
 
Believe me, I ponder this question a lot.

I am in a generation that leaves the Church en masse, because they believe it has no moral authority and little truth. They are wrong, of course. Part of my job is to make sure that other young people don’t leave.

People leave because satan wants them to leave so he can more easily carry out his goals to drag humanity into hell.
 
I left my local Episcopal Church because of the refusal of its priest and parishioners to accept the authenticity of the Holy Shroud of Turin. I would have considered the local Catholic Church except for the same opposition to the Shroud that I found to be held by its priest. So I now attend a “Black Lives Matter” church. They pretty much don’t accept the Shroud either, but at least the are willing to take a stand on an important social issue.
 
I came very close to leaving. In the end the solution was not going to Church on the advice of my doctor and the agreement of my priest/spiritual director. I stayed away from Mass for over a year as a consequence. It saves my faith, however.
 
No offense, but if you’re choosing a church based on how its clergy feel about the Shroud of Turin, your priorities are a bit out of order.
 
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The large majority of ex-Catholics i know when asked why they left the Catholic church was “because i interpret scripture the correct way”. When asked then why do you not interpret it the same as the other person that left the Catholic church - for the same reason, …crickets.

Peace!!!
 
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