Why do people leave the Faith. What are we doing wrong?

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WilT

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My guess is that we are not living our Faith as Jesus has instructed us too. Paul also teaches us how we should be living our lives as faithful, loving Christians. Unfortunately, are witnessing may be poor.:o How can we improve ourselves as a living, loving Church?
 
It depends on why they leave. Many currently say they leave because the Church will not change her teachings, that they are too hard to accept. Others leave because they believe it wrong to say that there is no salvation outside of Jesus Christ, that this is too provincial or whatever. Some even leave because they don’t believe God exists. There is nothing we can do about that, as it has been happening since the beginning:

*Then many of his disciples who were listening said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?” Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, “Does this shock you? What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.

And he said, “For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father.” As a result of this, many (of) his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.*John 6:60-66

Some say they leave because the bishops betrayed so many in how they handled priests who were suspected sexual abusers, bishops and others in the Church who chose to keep shocking offenses hushed up and trusted these priests when they said they would repent and never offend again.

Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?”
Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”
John 6:67-69

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me, because I live and you will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him.” John 14:15-21

We live in a worldly time, when the Gospel and the Apostolic teachings are openly rejected and mocked. We do need to avoid giving scandal by claiming to live the Gospel when we are in fact doing no such thing. If we are rejected for living and defending the truth, however, we ought to expect that we will still experience rejection. The question is not whether we will be rejected or whether some who have had the faith will leave it. The question is whether they left because of scandal we gave. Besides, people can come and they can stay under false pretenses and stick around because we aren’t really preaching the true faith, too. It is not whether people come and go, then, but whether or not we are living the truth and speaking the truth that we have to examine ourselves about.
 
In my humble opinion my peers left the church to sin. they do not fear hell. They want to be the lead actor, director, and screen writer controlling everything . they think (foolishly) if they enter a church the will catch on fire, as if its too late. they were forced to go to mass as kids and now they are too hung over to think about it. thanks for letting me give my 3 cents.
 
WilT said:
My guess is that we are not living our Faith as Jesus has instructed us too. Paul also teaches us how we should be living our lives as faithful, loving Christians. Unfortunately, are witnessing may be poor.:o How can we improve ourselves as a living, loving Church?
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A lot of people leaving are looking for/make an excuse to leave, and once they have it will blame persons like us.

It’s a strategy to try and get us to change the teachings of the Church to fit their selfishness by getting us all worried about popularity and numbers.

But if one reads the Old Testament, Isreal often turned its back on God in large numbers. Few stood alone against hysterical, selfish hordes.

There’s nothing new, special or MODERN about any of this.

A lot of what the prior comment gets at is the same tired old recycled nonsense that destroys civilizations to put a fine point on it.

Now, how do we prevent people from leaving?

Sometimes, we can’t. But it’s important to know when to be nice and easy-going and when to be fraternal.

A good fundamental strategy here is for us to be as hypocritical-free as possible. People LOVE to point out hypocrisy and run the table with it towards a selfish end.

Also if one is wrong or was mean, don’t be afraid to apologize. And since we are on the forums, give out positive feedback—let people know you agree with them on some things. 👍
 
WilT said:
My guess is that we are not living our Faith as Jesus has instructed us too. Paul also teaches us how we should be living our lives as faithful, loving Christians. Unfortunately, are witnessing may be poor.:o How can we improve ourselves as a living, loving Church?
Click to expand...
Here’s a snapshot from a different Angle,

A great rebellion, as life has transformed over time. People live for fun, and pop culture. Church life is sober and boring. It’s the place people go when they’re in the basement, recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. And food pantries.

Such good people who volunteer their time, in service to the poor and needy. They’re the shining stars of the Church, imo.
 
People leave for many reasons, and yes part of that has to do with how “we” live or don’t live our lives. But there are other reasons as well. Sometimes I think people leave because they truly don’t understand that we will suffer. Therefore, when suffering enters their life they feel that God has abandoned them.

I think the Church could do a much better job in preparing people for this aspect of life. It is easy to talk about the suffering of Christ and how we should suffer with him, it is even easy to talk about suffering as being a necessary part of our salvation, but when it come down to the actual act of suffering we all get weary of it, terrified of it, and try to avoid it.

There are many things that can go into a person deciding to leave the Church, but it may not mean they have left the Faith. I think this is something to consider as well. When the Church fails a person, as in the sex scandals, or by alienating people, some may leave in an effort to find a better sense of community, help or acceptance. It may not mean that they have stopped believing in God or even the teachings of the Church, but they may be suffering a sense of disconnect that is due to experiences from within the Church that are wrong.

Guess I am just saying, it is not a clear cut, single answer problem. Each person has to be taken on their own to understand why they have left the Faith, or maybe just the Church. I know for many years that I found God and Jesus to be very separate from the Church. It was as if they were not the same at all. I will always be Catholic, but what that means to me now is entirely different than what it meant 25 years ago.
 
Perhaps we are not demonstrating the Joy we each experience in our Faith?
Possibly we give people the impression that we are more focussed upon sin than upon the Love of God?
Maybe we appear to be judgemental and smug i.e we are right - everyone else has got it wrong?
Should we try to be more open, welcoming and willing to listen?
God bless you.
 
Don’t people leave the faith for tons of reasons? Seems that way to me.

One priest I know says very often it’s simply because people want to sin. I’m not so sure he’s mistaken on this point.

The culture we live in is strongly against the moral teachings of the Catholic Church in the United States and a great many other nations around the globe. The culture seeks to catechize souls too, and it does so powerfully, in my opinion.
 
The pull of secular society can have a lot to do with it. I also think Catholics get caught up on rules and forget to show love sometimes.
 
JamalChristophr said:
**Don’t people leave the faith for tons of reasons? Seems that way to me.

One priest I know says very often it’s simply because people want to sin. I’m not so sure he’s mistaken on this point. **
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There’s lots of different ways to sin, so you and the priest can both be right. 😉

I think a lot of it comes down to a kind of “cult of the individual” (I’m not sure if someone coined that phrase or not - it sounds like it but I can’t put my figure on it.) We worship the self, whether that’s in pleasure-seeking like contemporary culture embraces or in the scholarship of the “independent fundamental” preacher who thinks he’s finally the only one who’s figured out the Bible after 2,000 years.

I also think there’s a LOT of ignorance about the Church (though some people deliberately refuse to learn more about it - I was one of those for a long time.)
 
Let me think of people who have actually told me their reasons…

*Mass is boring to me, I learned all about it in 8th grade, it is meaningless, therefore the faith is not true. I am going to find my spirituality somewhere that is not boring and touches me emotionally, which (if I am diligent) will therefore be true.

I feel guilty about it, sometimes, but I’m too busy to go to Mass. (This is very common.

I can’t believe that all the good people I’ve met who aren’t Catholic or who aren’t Christian are going to go to Hell for not believing, therefore somebody must have gotten the message of Jesus wrong.

The Church is just full of control freaks and people who can’t feel security if they don’t have someone telling them what to do.

The Bible is a myth, and people who go to church are idiots.

If Jesus lived now, he wouldn’t be a Christian. He was not so uptight about sex.

I was baptized, but my parents never went to Church and I never had religion class. I married a Presbyterian, so our family is Presbyterian.

When I left home (which had been very dysfunctional), I found myself in a strange town with no one to welcome me. One of my friends took me to her church, and I found my home. *(This person is a very serious Christian.) *

We went to a lot of different churches in our area, and we go to the one that we think fits us the best.*

I also know people who quit going because they are mad that the bishops won’t ordain women or mad that the Church won’t accept homosexual romance as just as acceptable as heterosexual romance, or because of all the abusing priests the bishops covered for. They sort of “progessed” right out of the Church. I also know people who are still technically “in” the pews–that is, who stay for the Mass but do not accept the teaching authority of the hierarchy. They are waiting around for the Church to become a democracy, and they seem to believe this is just around the corner.

I do not personally know anyone who left because lay Catholics aren’t fervent or charitable enough. I know Catholics who do think that, but not among people who left.
 
Look at the direction our nation is headed. You can’t be pro-traditional marriage & pro-life or else. I think many Catholics get easily influenced by the politically correct (in other words, leftist) messages in the mainstream news and popular culture. Same sex celebrity couples seems to be cool with people nowadays. They see the Catholic Church as too rigid. It’s not surprisingly that people reject the faith. People did so in Jesus’ time as well. People now see the Catholic Church as perhaps not with the times. I’m sure there are other reasons as well.
 
one of my relatives left the church over 30 years ago, out of pure ignorance and poor catechesis (perhaps he slept during Mass? or CCD?). He was told by people when he was in the army (by some fellow soldiers) that he was **never ** a Christian and had never learned about Jesus! :eek: This led him into a crisis where he tried several churches (I THINK he actually dated an eastern rite Catholic at one time, but I don’t know who broke it off when he was going to become a Berean). Not sure what church he belongs to now, but he’s a tad obsessed with the End Times (like blood moons for example). Called me last year to wish me a happy birthday (he had never called me in years past) and then told me the anti christ will probably be a muslim. sigh Another relative became a lutheran because she married a lutheran (married in her husband’s church). Another became a lutheran because he married a lutheran (in his wife’s church). The interesting part about him is that he was teaching Catholic stuff in a lutheran sunday school class…

So here are some reasons:
  1. Poor Catechesis so unable to defend faith against those who claim you aren’t Christian
  2. Can’t do a mixed marriage (so chooses spouse’s church instead)
  3. Just wants his or her own rules (like those who said people left due to teachings on premarital sex and contraception)
 
rodgerdodger said:
In my humble opinion my peers left the church to sin. they do not fear hell. They want to be the lead actor, director, and screen writer controlling everything . they think (foolishly) if they enter a church the will catch on fire, as if its too late. they were forced to go to mass as kids and now they are too hung over to think about it. thanks for letting me give my 3 cents.
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It’s unfortunate but true, I’m going to a class on Tuesdays about the happiness of the gospel, which pope francis wrote. And it speaks a lot about how people want to do stuff that interests them, that their egocentric.
 
gmx2014 said:
Here’s a snapshot from a different Angle,

A great rebellion, as life has transformed over time. People live for fun, and pop culture. Church life is sober and boring. It’s the place people go when they’re in the basement, recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. And food pantries.

Such good people who volunteer their time, in service to the poor and needy. They’re the shining stars of the Church, imo.
Click to expand...
Amen ,this is an era about what makes ME happy, not what makes God and doesn’t around me happy which is scripture tells us.
 
jediliz said:
one of my relatives left the church over 30 years ago, out of pure ignorance and poor catechesis (perhaps he slept during Mass? or CCD?). He was told by people when he was in the army (by some fellow soldiers) that he was **never ** a Christian and had never learned about Jesus! :eek: This led him into a crisis where he tried several churches (I THINK he actually dated an eastern rite Catholic at one time, but I don’t know who broke it off when he was going to become a Berean). Not sure what church he belongs to now, but he’s a tad obsessed with the End Times (like blood moons for example). Called me last year to wish me a happy birthday (he had never called me in years past) and then told me the anti christ will probably be a muslim. sigh Another relative became a lutheran because she married a lutheran (married in her husband’s church). Another became a lutheran because he married a lutheran (in his wife’s church). The interesting part about him is that he was teaching Catholic stuff in a lutheran sunday school class…

So here are some reasons:
  1. Poor Catechesis so unable to defend faith against those who claim you aren’t Christian
  2. Can’t do a mixed marriage (so chooses spouse’s church instead)
  3. Just wants his or her own rules (like those who said people left due to teachings on premarital sex and contraception)
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  1. Poor Catechesis is one, but is no excuse they can join RCIA to learn more, books are also free in the Library to read more, they can read about the Church Fathers etc on Line, but they do none of the above so its lazy on there part, they can read about Football, where to go on holidays and what the holiday has to offer, fashion magazines and the latest trends, but cannot be bothered to read about what they practise, “Shame on them” the Church does also get a lot of converts from the various Protestant denominations one only has to watch EWTN - Marcus Grodi - The Journey Home every week, himself a Lutheran/Non Denominational Pastor interviewing all these Protestants who came home to the Catholic Church, Convert myself from the Orthodox Jewish Religion, who went to Church of England School (Anglican) and became Catholic
  2. Some people want to be God themselves, look at all the Protestant denominations who break away and found another Form of Christianity on what they think it should look like, not on what Christ said it should look like.
  3. What all the other OP members said.
 
It has to be asked why the Western industrialized world has lost the faith. That’s not the case in the East and Africa… Even the places where people suffer severely or even worry that a bomb will be set off during a Mass on Sunday, these areas of the world have very strong faith and are very devout.

[BIBLEDRB]john 1:1[/BIBLEDRB]

This is about our culture and the society that has been lead to believe atheism could somehow fill the void left between religion and the once faithful. This is not, I repeat not about the Catholic Church. If it was, then it would only be the Catholic Church losing members, and not other Christian protestant denominations, or even non Christian religions for that matter.

From Catholics specifically I’ve spoken to, these were some common reasons they fell away:
  • They still believe in God, but they believe they can just worship him without the Church
  • As long as they’re good people, that’s all that will matter to God
  • Church teachings and beliefs are obsolete, they’ve chosen modernism and progressiveism
  • They believe fulfilment comes only from what they can see and feel.
What I’ve experienced being around those who lost faith is also something in common:
  • They’re often judgemental
  • Somewhat arrogant(have to be if you’re the center of the universe and not God
  • They’re impatient
  • They need to show others they’re happy( Think facebook timelines and status’ folks :D)
  • They’re not tolerant(though this is their montra) . We know who they believe is intolerant right? 😛
  • They run for the hills when you talk about anything related to God and faith
  • They’re sports junkies 😛
  • They’re kids have 4 legs
At some point, I don’t care if you have wealth, fortune, status, personal satisfaction in what you’ve accomplished in life, you will be humbled by something greater than yourself. You will hear your conscience ask questions the world will not be able to answer, you will be with 10 of your closest friends and still wonder why you’re lonely. Things will come and go, people, places, possessions, all things material.

When that happens(and it will), return to that Catholic Church you once entrusted your soul. Take a deep breath and remember the smell of the wooden pews. The pews where you yourself once knelt before God with the humility that you just surrendered to the world. At the end of the day, only your faith will endure. Lessons learned prodigal son.
 
Some leave because they’ve lost faith or don’t have faith in the teaching authority. You have to have faith to be a faithful Catholic. Which is a truth I’m not sure all Catholics grasp. What are some Catholics doing wrong? I see a lot of what Emily2014 said. I see a lot of Catholics telling everyone else Catholics ae right and everyone else is wrong. Believing you are is not the same. Don’t think everyone else is improperly catechized just because they don’t share your faith on everything. That turns people off. And Emily touched on focus too which I thought was a good point as well. And heed the current Holy Father’s advice and talk of other issues besides just abortion and gays. Doing so does not diminish the importance of those other 2 issues to you. And take a cue from the current Holy Father and speak in a gentler, warmer tone. If your mission is truly to win souls to the faith there are a lot of changes that Catholics could make in the way they communicate with people. Be less militant. And please please for example don’t tell someone they have the blood of millions and millions of children on their hands just because they vote in a secular election in a manner in which you didn’t. That happened to me right here on CAF recently. And if anyrhing it turns me further away. And don’t question whether a baptized or confirmed Catholic is a Catholic. That can turn people off and to do so, you yourself are not following Church teaching. We probably should all worry a bit more about working out our own salvations with trembling hearts. I hope this helped as a start and thanks for the opportunity to give some ideas.
 
paulrxp said:
It has to be asked why the Western industrialized world has lost the faith. That’s not the case in the East and Africa… Even the places where people suffer severely or even worry that a bomb will be set off during a Mass on Sunday, these areas of the world have very strong faith and are very devout.

[BIBLEDRB]john 1:1[/BIBLEDRB]

This is about our culture and the society that has been lead to believe atheism could somehow fill the void left between religion and the once faithful. This is not, I repeat not about the Catholic Church. If it was, then it would only be the Catholic Church losing members, and not other Christian protestant denominations, or even non Christian religions for that matter.

From Catholics specifically I’ve spoken to, these were some common reasons they fell away:
  • They still believe in God, but they believe they can just worship him without the Church
  • As long as they’re good people, that’s all that will matter to God
  • Church teachings and beliefs are obsolete, they’ve chosen modernism and progressiveism
  • They believe fulfilment comes only from what they can see and feel.
What I’ve experienced being around those who lost faith is also something in common:
  • They’re often judgemental
  • Somewhat arrogant(have to be if you’re the center of the universe and not God
  • They’re impatient
  • They need to show others they’re happy( Think facebook timelines and status’ folks :D)
  • They’re not tolerant(though this is their montra) . We know who they believe is intolerant right? 😛
  • They run for the hills when you talk about anything related to God and faith
  • They’re sports junkies 😛
  • They’re kids have 4 legs
At some point, I don’t care if you have wealth, fortune, status, personal satisfaction in what you’ve accomplished in life, you will be humbled by something greater than yourself. You will hear your conscience ask questions the world will not be able to answer, you will be with 10 of your closest friends and still wonder why you’re lonely. Things will come and go, people, places, possessions, all things material.

When that happens(and it will), return to that Catholic Church you once entrusted your soul. Take a deep breath and remember the smell of the wooden pews. The pews where you yourself once knelt before God with the humility that you just surrendered to the world. At the end of the day, only your faith will endure. Lessons learned prodigal son.
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Very well put, and enjoyed reading for a Convert like myself I will keep some of your points in mind. Thank you for writing.:signofcross:
 
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