Why do people say “father” when not actually addressing a priest?

[FiveLinden]

‘Father’ in this sense is an honorific. But as soon as it loses its attacked name it becomes itself a name. If we call someone ‘Father’ other than ‘Father Smith’ we are turning the name + honorific into a simple name. (Just noticed how a + sign seems off in a Catholic context!). Anyway the use of ‘Father’ to mean ‘a priest’ or ‘the priest’ is pretty common where I am from. I have been trying to think of equivalents: “You must bath baby in lukewarm water” “Tell Mum (Mom) if a stranger offers you sweets” and perhaps closest of all “If your wound begins to bleed, tell Doctor”. Some linguist (perhaps Tis_Bearself, how understands the Irish use of reflexive pronouns) might be able to cast more light. I wonder if it derives from the Irish language? Are honorific or occupations used as names in Irish? Unfortunately Irish in my family is three generations away! I’ve just thought too that the equivalent 'Go ask Bishop/Cardinal/Deacon doesn’t seem to exist. Does the role referred to have to be common? ‘Ask nurse’ seems to work in a hospital setting, as would ‘Ask Sister’.

 

[ratio1]

Hmm…I’m not an expert when it comes to how exactly to address, I think the prudent thing is to ask Father or Sister how we should be doing this instead of discussing amongst ourselves.

 

[Londoner]

I was actually about to start a thread of my own to ask exactly this!

“I need to make an appointment with doctor.”

I’ve lived in the UK my whole life and have never heard anybody use ‘doctor’ in that way. I would say, ‘I need to make an appointment with the doctor (if there is only one doctor at the practice and I don’t know his/her name)/a doctor (if there are two or more doctors at the practice and I don’t know their names)/Dr Smith (if I know the name of a specific doctor).’ I would never just say, ‘with doctor’. ‘Doctor’ is an academic title and job, not a name.

I’ve never seen people do this anywhere but CAF and it always sounds weird to me.

Same here. I have never heard anybody say this. I am surprised to hear that it may be a non-American thing, as I assumed that the explanation was that most people on CAF are American and guessed that it must be an American thing!

It just doesn’t make sense to me. The only person I would refer to as ‘Father’ would, just possibly, be my own father, and only then if I am talking to a close family member. With regard to priests I would address a priest as ‘Father’ if I don’t know his name or as ‘Father+Name’ if I do. When referring to a priest in the third person I would say ‘Father+Name’ or would say ‘the priest’ (or more specific job title, e.g. ‘the cathedral administrator’). I think it just sounds strange to say, ‘Father gave a good sermon today.’

I’ve even heard the plural: “the Fathers at Paris X are great.” Or “one of the Fathers will come to hear confession.”

That is different, as ‘fathers’ in that context (capital letter not required) is using ‘father’ to denote the clerical office or, quite simply, job description. Hence it is used with a definite article. One can also, less commonly, use it, with a definite or indefinite article, in the singular: ‘I went to the church and spoke to the father’, ‘My uncle is now a father at Ampleforth’, etc. That is using ‘father’ as a synonym for ‘priest’, whereas what the OP is talking about is essentially using ‘Father’ to replace the priest’s name.

In short, I find it strange, and I’m not going to begin doing it myself. ‘Father’ is not the priest’s name, and it seems strange to refer to him as ‘Father’. I’ll continue to say ‘Father John’, ‘Father Smith’, ‘Good morning, Father’, etc., but I’m not going to start saying, ‘Father prefers to wear black vestments for funerals’, or, ‘I must ask Father about next Sunday’s hymns.’

 

[CRM_Brother]

I have used this a lot, even before I entered my Order. It wasn’t until the question was posed here that I started to think about it. I guess I use it because it doesn’t really matter who the priest is. If I go to see Father for confession, I don’t mean that I approach a specific priest, but rather approach the priesthood as a whole for the fulfillment of my spiritual needs. ‘Father X’ has individual characteristics: both good and bad. ‘Father’ however disregards these individual characteristics and specifically describes the role that a priest, any priest, plays in my spiritual life.