Why do people scoff at "born-again" virgins?

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CountrySinger said:
I know men who would mock a virgin, but none that would criticize a non-virgin. But I don’t know Catholic men (but plenty of non-Catholics), so my experience is worthless.
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I don’t get that attitude. We have an informal code of conduct: single malt scotch only and don’t drink if you can’t handle it, never criticize wives or girlfriends, your own or someone’s else’s, and no sniveling.
 
OP here…actually, I have heard of men using the terms of “born-again” or “secondary” virginity, too, and I didn’t intend for this topic to be just about women. Certainly, there is no physical change in a man who has sex in the way there is for a woman. But the idea of saving that unique experience for one’s spouse still applies…I have actually found that more Catholics seem to believe this for men, than other Christians. Perhaps because only Catholics actually believe that masturbation is sinful? Many non-Catholic Christians seem to think that masturbation, especially for men, is okay if it’s only for “physical release” and not lustful. Though I’m really not sure how someone could masturbate without lusting…

Anyway, to me, a man who is a virgin in the sense of never having had intercourse, but who habitually masturbates and uses porn, is much less chaste than a woman who has had sex a few times because she thought she’d lose her boyfriend if she didn’t (this happens a LOT), got out of the relationship, and has lived a chaste life since. Interestingly, I’ve seen advice being given out on CAF that a man is not obligated at all to disclose a porn addiction to a potential spouse. Probably as often as I’ve seen advice being given out that women aren’t obligated to disclose past sexual history. But I’d personally want to know if a man had a porn problem. I know this is very common and I wouldn’t reject a man just because of this issue. But I’d still want to know.
 
Men ALWAYS want to know that question, but it’s a real dumb question to ask.

It’s sort of like women want to know how many girls their man has said “I love you” to…but girls shouldn’t ask that question either!
 
Rascalking said:
Men ALWAYS want to know that question, but it’s a real dumb question to ask.

It’s sort of like women want to know how many girls their man has said “I love you” to…but girls shouldn’t ask that question either!
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and to your previous comment, guys like to know what you’e done in the past to also know how far they can ‘potentially’ go with the girl. thats just how they are.

Yes they do ask. But its more like ‘how many times have you been in love’. Or ‘how many serious relationships have you had’.
 
BlueShadow123 said:
and to your previous comment, guys like to know what you’e done in the past to also know how far they can ‘potentially’ go with the girl. thats just how they are.

Yes they do ask. But its more like ‘how many times have you been in love’. Or ‘how many serious relationships have you had’.
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Once you get to a certain age, there are unstated assumptions. And why would I care? Honestly, why???
 
Reservoir_Dog said:
Depends on the crowd you run with. Possibly they don’t care because there’s not a christian among them.
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Excuse me? Not calling me a christian now? I couldn’t care less what you think I am, because whatever it is, I can assure you, its wrong. Keep those comments to yourself. A wise person would have already known that though.

And it has NOTHING to do with a ‘crowd’. Especially if you have guys randomly asking you things like that.
 
BlueShadow123 said:
and to your previous comment, guys like to know what you’e done in the past to also know how far they can ‘potentially’ go with the girl. thats just how they are.

.
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Partially. I have a feeling it’s more complicated than that, but I really can’t place my finger on it.
 
BlueShadow123 said:
Excuse me? Not calling me a christian now?

And it has NOTHING to do with a ‘crowd’. Especially if you have guys randomly asking you things like that.
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I’m saying that few of my friends are christian, for which I’m quite happy.
 
BlueShadow123 said:
Its good to be around all sorts of people. And its good to share your opinions, beliefs and what you think with others.
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Actually, I make a point of spending time with a group of like minded professionals and business people with a range of mostly shared political and economic values, not to mention unreasonably expensive target shotguns. The last thing I want to do – and I say this honestly and without rancor after having spent a lot of time with the KofC (as an officer) and my fellow parishioners in various volunteer positions – is to spend any social time at all with fellow Catholics.
 
Reservoir_Dog said:
Actually, I make a point of spending time with a group of like minded professionals and business people with a range of mostly shared political and economic values, not to mention unreasonably expensive target shotguns. The last thing I want to do – and I say this honestly and without rancor after having spent a lot of time with the KofC (as an officer) and my fellow parishioners in various volunteer positions – is to spend any social time at all with fellow Catholics.
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Well thats okay. Its your preference. I’m not going to ask why because its not my business.
 
Politically correct terms to me are sickening. I’d have less respect for someone who called themselves a “born again virgin” than someone who called themselves a “recovering slut”, the latter at least being honest, and not trying to hide their sins in some veil of righteousness.
Really, your sins are a matter between you and your Lord God, not something to be covertly confessed with some sweet-as-pie terms like “born again” or “virgin”. It’s almost as if you’re proud of the fact you sinned.
If you’ve done it, repented, and made yourself right with God, then the matter should be gone from your conversation. Period.
 
MBP007 said:
Politically correct terms to me are sickening. I’d have less respect for someone who called themselves a “born again virgin” than someone who called themselves a “recovering slut”, the latter at least being honest, and not trying to hide their sins in some veil of righteousness.
Really, your sins are a matter between you and your Lord God, not something to be covertly confessed with some sweet-as-pie terms like “born again” or “virgin”. It’s almost as if you’re proud of the fact you sinned.
If you’ve done it, repented, and made yourself right with God, then the matter should be gone from your conversation. Period.
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Please notice that no one has posted to this thread in over two years.
 
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