Why do so many Catholics act so superior?

[crenfro]

I don’t know.

I like how Father Corapi says he was taught to always “come as a servant,” and I know Jesus said however we treat the least of us, we are doing so to Him, or something like that. “Whatever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do to me.”

I like also how Father Corapi says that arrogance is quite a temptation, especially for clergy, at least, that’s how I understood it when I was listening to one of his talks. Pride is such an insidious, dangerous animal.

Here’s the litany of humility – I sure need to read it often.

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930),
Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X

I think yours is a good question that takes some real courage to be answered honestly.

 

[PeterMuz]

Unfortunately, many here think they are speaking the truth with love, but the love is missing from their message in their “holier than thou” tone.

I’m starting to understand a bit better reading some of the posters’ responses that they are not trying to be cold or come across as “shame on you!”, and they are trying to express love, it just doesn’t come across that way.

Jesus never spoke badly to tax collectors, prostitutes, etc. He spoke harshly to the religious who WERE following the rules to a “T”.

This just still confuses me a lot. How do we speak the truth while showing love and compassion?

But you ARE definitely coming across with a “shame on you” attitude. Even if you did not mean it that way, it is the underlying tone of everything you have said so far.

I am curious to know why all of your responses have been to people who agree with you or to tell judge someone and tell them how wrong they are? Isn’t that what you are saying you hate. Aren’t you doing the very thing you say drives people away?

 

[PeterMuz]

Unfortunately, many here think they are speaking the truth with love, but the love is missing from their message in their “holier than thou” tone.

I’m starting to understand a bit better reading some of the posters’ responses that they are not trying to be cold or come across as “shame on you!”, and they are trying to express love, it just doesn’t come across that way.

Jesus never spoke badly to tax collectors, prostitutes, etc. He spoke harshly to the religious who WERE following the rules to a “T”.

This just still confuses me a lot. How do we speak the truth while showing love and compassion?

It is because of love and compassion that you speak the truth. You have to understand that you are talking to a bunch of opinionated people and so things are going to come across harsh from time to time. This is also one of the greatest downfalls of the written word. You cannot see or hear the non-verbal communication that is often times expresses that love and compassion.

I know you had good intentions with this post, but read your comment about Lambs and Wolves and tell me if you really feel you are not doing exactly what you are complaining about.

Love and compassion are great. You can speak the truth with love and compassion and still tell someone they are flat out wrong.

 

[ac_claire]

Unfortunately, many here think they are speaking the truth with love, but the love is missing from their message in their “holier than thou” tone.

I’m starting to understand a bit better reading some of the posters’ responses that they are not trying to be cold or come across as “shame on you!”, and they are trying to express love, it just doesn’t come across that way.

Jesus never spoke badly to tax collectors, prostitutes, etc. He spoke harshly to the religious who WERE following the rules to a “T”.

This just still confuses me a lot. How do we speak the truth while showing love and compassion?

I know this is an older post, but since Peter quoted it again I had another thought…Christ spoke harshly to these people because of their hypocrisy, not because they were following the rules to a “T”. Accepting that would assume that He didn’t want the people to follow the “rules” (laws, commandments of his Father, etc.) which is contradicted by the rest of his teachings in the Gospels. The Virgin Mary was absolutely *sinless *and she’s our main role model after Jesus.

Also nobody was ever praised in the Gospels for sinning or breaking the commandments. Rather, the sinners are praised for their humility and repentance. And then told to go and sin no more.

just a couple more random thoughts for your consideration.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Hear me out for a second. There have been so many threads on CAF started purely to minimize or point out bad behaviour of other people. I know that sometimes, people like to vent, but I can’t help, but think that a lot of well meaning Catholics tend to come across as being very superior.

Examples of topics where I see this all the time:

NFP vs. ABC threads
Modesty threads
Masterbation threads
Bringing children to mass threads
Marital problems threads (telling them to split up all the time)

Honestly, if I were not Catholic and I came on CAF, it would really put me off the idea of ever being Catholic. There’s no love coming from many posters on CAF.

How are we supposed to bring families and friends to the Catholic church if we are always condemning and frowning upon others telling them they are in mortal sin and giving this “holier than thou” attitude.

I really dislike it and it’s so unattractive. We as Catholics are supposed to be spreading love, compassion, empathy and grace. What happened?

I disagree with the wording of your thread title, AND your assertions.

We are also called upon to cling to the Truth—and to correct those who are indeed in mortal sin.

 

[ohioszo]

Luke 12:

47 That servant who knew his master’s will but did not make preparations nor act in accord with his will shall be beaten severely; 48 and the servant who was ignorant of his master’s will but acted in a way deserving of a severe beating shall be beaten only lightly. Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.

I know this is an older post, but since Peter quoted it again I had another thought…Christ spoke harshly to these people because of their hypocrisy, not because they were following the rules to a “T”. Accepting that would assume that He didn’t want the people to follow the “rules” (laws, commandments of his Father, etc.) which is contradicted by the rest of his teachings in the Gospels. The Virgin Mary was absolutely *sinless *and she’s our main role model after Jesus.

Also nobody was ever praised in the Gospels for sinning or breaking the commandments. Rather, the sinners are praised for their humility and repentance. And then told to go and sin no more.

just a couple more random thoughts for your consideration.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

And sometimes love needs to be tough love, not Sloppy Agape.

 

[TedDC]

And sometimes love needs to be tough love, not Sloppy Agape.

The trouble is, a lot of the postings on this forum seem to exhibit an inordinate relish for the “tough” part, and a disdain for the “love” part.

 

[ac_claire]

The trouble is, a lot of the postings on this forum seem to exhibit an inordinate relish for the “tough” part, and a disdain for the “love” part.

I think it’s all in your perspective of what love is, and also in how you take correction. To illustrate: my view is the opposite of yours. I see a lot of watered down truths and confirming/excusing of sin under the guise of false “charity” on these forums. Much more than I see too-too “tough love”.

Love is desiring the highest good for a person-- which is Heaven. Not desiring that they feel good about themselves temporarily and get a warm fuzzy because you’ve told them that whatever sin they’re committing or thinking about committing isn’t really “*that *bad”…you know what I mean? Especially when so many people come to this forum to get good, sound Catholic advice and perspective.

 

[TedDC]

I think it’s all in your perspective of what love is, and also in how you take correction. To illustrate: my view is the opposite of yours. I see a lot of watered down truths and confirming/excusing of sin under the guise of false “charity” on these forums. Much more than I see too-too “tough love”.

Love is desiring the highest good for a person-- which is Heaven. Not desiring that they feel good about themselves temporarily and get a warm fuzzy because you’ve told them that whatever sin they’re committing or thinking about committing isn’t really “*that *bad”…you know what I mean? Especially when so many people come to this forum to get good, sound Catholic advice and perspective.

Here’s a thread which gives a relatively mild example of what I’m talking about:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=474568
Note that the very first reply jumps right into a legalistic response, without the slightest acknowledgment of the OP’s obviously painful and difficult situation. The other posts generally pile on in the same vein, with only one person expressing empathy for the man’s predicament.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I think that people who see themselves as “victims”, can also be wolves.
They just have a different, passive/agressive way of attack. A good example is the person who is told the truth, neither in a cruel way nor a gentle way, but matter-of-factlty.

Example:
poster #1. How has the Catholic Church come to the conclusion that homosexual acts are sinful?

poster #2. The Church has called them an objective evil on the basis of both Scripture that condemns it & the teachings of Aquinas on Natural Law.

Poster #1 does not like that answer & starts a thread called, “Is the Catholic Church Homophobic?” He/she then uses the thread to trash “all of those arrogant posters who think that better than him/her because they are heterosexual”.

Many times beneath the “victim veneer”… for a passive/agressive person…there is anger & a desire to punish.

Amen.

 

[Love_Divine]

But we aren’t going as far as the mormans or amish, either,

Which Mormons are you talking about? The fundamentalists who live in colonies and have been excommunicated from the LDS church?

The LDS girls and women where I spend most of my time living dress just like normal people, only more modest. Shirts have sleeves, and higher collars, skirts and shorts are slightly longer, etc. Actually, I try to model my modest after the LDS girls because they make it so easy to follow and keep it modern, and are really good at making non-modest clothing modest.

And I agree with the OP about the “holier than thou” attitude displayed by a lot of Catholics.

 

[ac_claire]

Here’s a thread which gives a relatively mild example of what I’m talking about:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=474568
Note that the very first reply jumps right into a legalistic response, without the slightest acknowledgment of the OP’s obviously painful and difficult situation. The other posts generally pile on in the same vein, with only one person expressing empathy for the man’s predicament.

It’s very hard to have complex, emotional communications over the internet. I can see your point on the thread you linked to. I didn’t really see anything “legalistic” though. Not sure what that word even means lol. I saw some people trying to answer the question with a somewhat “cold” manner. And I saw some other people respond emotionally and defensively to the answer because they didn’t like it.

Personally I would have answered the OP here in the same way by addressing his question about the morality/sinfulness of his situation and (possible) actions. I also feel a great deal of sympathy and empathy for the poster. So would it be acceptable in your view to have written what the Church teaches on the subject (as distateful as many people seem to have found it on that thread) but to have couched it in a more sympathetic tone? Because that’s a valid argument, I think. I can see the point there. Or, would it still have been objectional advice no matter what, because you just don’t like what the Church says on the matter?

And I agree with the OP about the “holier than thou” attitude displayed by a lot of Catholics.

I see just as much of this same attitude among Catholics or non-Catholics who think they are *really * holier than thou because they are “less judgemental than thou”. Nobody else is as “loving” as they are because they are judging everyone else’s expressions of love and charity. Only THEIR interpretation of love/charity is the right one…that’s the hypocritcal attitude I see all over this thread and similar threads at CAF.

 

[CatholicFireman]

I see just as much of this same attitude among Catholics or non-Catholics who think they are really holier than thou because they are “less judgemental than thou”. Nobody else is as “loving” as they are because they are judging everyone else’s expressions of love and charity. Only THEIR interpretation of love/charity is the right one…that’s the hypocritcal attitude I see all over this thread and similar threads at CAF.

FINALLY somebody put into words what I’ve been seeing/thinking for a long time!

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

FINALLY somebody put into words what I’ve been seeing/thinking for a long time!

Amen—that sort of love really isn’t love.

 

[CradleCath]

I see just as much of this same attitude among Catholics or non-Catholics who think they are *really * holier than thou because they are “less judgemental than thou”. Nobody else is as “loving” as they are because they are judging everyone else’s expressions of love and charity. Only THEIR interpretation of love/charity is the right one…that’s the hypocritcal attitude I see all over this thread and similar threads at CAF.

I absolutely agree. The O.P. has mounted a passive/agressive attack on the very people who…in trying to help her…do not tell her what she wants to hear. I hope a moderator puts this thread out of it’s misery. Meanwhile, I’m going to bow out of this discussion.