Why do some people nest in the confessional?

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Nelka

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Whenever I go to confession there is always someone who goes in and stays in for a long time, maybe someone hasn’t been for 50 years and they have a long list of sins but it can’t be the same for all of them.

I’m not attacking anyone but just wondering, it does concern me sometimes when confession is only on for 20 minutes especially if it is just before Mass and I feel I won’t get my turn as they are taking too long.

Do you like to nest in the confessional?

🙂
 
No. Though there have been exceptions in the recent past, my confessions take 5 minutes. I have a spiritual director for in-depth assistance in overcoming my sins.

But…not everyone is me. There are many reasons why a confession might take a long time. One of the exceptions I mentioned above is a 45-minute confession that resulted from the priest asking for more info. It took me fewer than 60 seconds to list my sins. The rest was on Father.

If timing is critical for you, I suggest confessing by appointment. 🙂

God bless!
 
Some priests use the confessional for counselling and some are real quick and to the point.

Both can be helpful depending on your circumstances. 😉
 
Sometimes I see the wait as God’s way of giving me more time to ponder my weaknesses and indiscretions, and to open my heart to Him, and an opportunity to me His forgiveness even before receiving absolution and sacramental grace.
 
Neofight said:
Sometimes I see the wait as God’s way of giving me more time to ponder my weaknesses and indiscretions, and to open my heart to Him, and an opportunity to me His forgiveness even before receiving absolution and sacramental grace.
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👍

Practicing patience when everything in me is screaming “oh come on!” is part of my penance 😊

I am super quick in the confessional. Two to three minutes max – here’s what I did, and I’m sorry. No stories. No explanations. No setting the stage. No drama or words, though sometimes I am in tears.

For those who take more time, let’s face it – it’s none of my business. And yes, although it goes against my nature, I need to charitably assume the best, always!
 
I absolutely agree with everything said thus far. Furthermore, I actually like waiting a long time for others to finish. It really is a great time to pray and to reflect, and I really don’t have too many temptations to impatience. At least not these days.

BUT … in case someone reading this should be one of those who does take a long time, I would ask you to do so only when sincerely necessary. 🙂

I actually just had an experience with this yesterday, where some 9 people took about 75 minutes to have their confessions heard. I want to be clear that I’m not assigning blame to anyone in that, and I was certainly not upset, but the fact is that several of us had to be turned away, since Father had to go say Mass.

If one of us had been in a state of mortal sin, then this would have been a bit of a drag, to say the least.

Confession, IMHO, is not a time for extensive spiritual direction. If you have business with Father that you think will take more than five minutes, I think you should make an appointment with him.

But even if you don’t, I sincerely thank God that you’re coming to confession, and I appreciate the chance for a bit of quiet time in prayer. 😛
 
UpUpAndAway said:
If timing is critical for you, I suggest confessing by appointment. 🙂

God bless!
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I think I have to disagree with you here. If someone wants or needs a longer amount of time for their confession, I really think they should be the one to make an appointment.

We have confessions offered seven days a week at my parish. But with only 20 minute slots with one priest – except for Saturday afternoons – and a line of anywhere from 5 to 10 penitents daily, if the first four people take five minutes each, time’s up and the rest of us walk away to try another day.

Timing is critical to me, in that when I get in that line, I would like to be able to have my confession heard that day. There was one week when it took me three tries to receive the sacrament because the line simply wasn’t moving! I called the parish office to make an appointment for my three-minute confession, and the earliest time they could fit me in was over a week later! Seriously??? :eek:

Standing in a line that’s not moving is painful, even penitential, which is probably a good thing 😛

In charity, I think we should each be as efficient as possible with our own confession, while understanding that others may need a considerably longer amount of time.
 
Gertabelle said:
I think I have to disagree with you here. If someone wants or needs a longer amount of time for their confession, I really think they should be the one to make an appointment.

We have confessions offered seven days a week at my parish. But with only 20 minute slots with one priest – except for Saturday afternoons – and a line of anywhere from 5 to 10 penitents daily, if the first four people take five minutes each, time’s up and the rest of us walk away to try another day.

Timing is critical to me, in that when I get in that line, I would like to be able to have my confession heard that day. There was one week when it took me three tries to receive the sacrament because the line simply wasn’t moving! I called the parish office to make an appointment for my three-minute confession, and the earliest time they could fit me in was over a week later! Seriously??? :eek:

Standing in a line that’s not moving is painful, even penitential, which is probably a good thing 😛

In charity, I think we should each be as efficient as possible with our own confession, while understanding that others may need a considerably longer amount of time.
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I actually agree with you, but as I was advising the OP I can only suggest that which he can control. It certainly wouldn’t be very wise, charitable or helpful for me to say, “If timing is critical for you, be sure to tell the people in line in front of you to make it snappy or call for an appointment” :eek: 😃

Since there is no way of knowing how long the people in line ahead of us will need, our only options are to be patient or plan ahead. I avail myself of the sacrament on a regular basis, so I know well ahead of time when I will go to confession. Due to the current circumstances of my life, I knew well in advance that the only way I was going to be able to confess on Saturday April 23 was to make an appointment, so that’s exactly what I did. In February.

I do realize, however, that planning ahead isn’t always possible. Much depends on each individual’s confessing habits and struggle with sin.

God bless you, Gertie :hug3:
 
Nelka said:
Whenever I go to confession there is always someone who goes in and stays in for a long time, maybe someone hasn’t been for 50 years and they have a long list of sins but it can’t be the same for all of them.

I’m not attacking anyone but just wondering, it does concern me sometimes when confession is only on for 20 minutes especially if it is just before Mass and I feel I won’t get my turn as they are taking too long.

Do you like to nest in the confessional?

🙂
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I don’t and any time I’m in the Confessional longer than the time it takes to say “Bless me Father, my last confession was two weeks ago, I [transmission garbled, three times], for these and all the sins of my life especially any I may have forgotten I am truly sorry” plus the Act of Contrition, everything else is Father talking. I always try to make it quick and not very memorable.
 
I offer the time waiting up to God, I use it for my examination of conscience & to reflect on my sins. Patience is indeed a virtue. Who knows, there may come a day I need to spent extra time in the confessional.
 
Honestly, it’s strange. But, whatever the person needs, right? Usually at my parish, there’s a decent-length line, and the priests know this, so even though there might be some “counseling” about a given sin, it’s usually not all that long. On many Saturdays, especially during Lent/Easter and Advent, there are probably about 15-20 people in the confession line (which, considering the size of my parish is actually quite low).

There is about 1 hr and 15 minutes for Confession before the first anticipatory Sunday Mass on Saturday evening, then usually another 1/2 hour available between the two anticipatory Masses (in general, this second window is especially for Spanish-speaking parishioners, as our second anticipatory Sunday Mass on Saturday evening is in Spanish). But even so, when my wife and I go to Confession at our parish, we try to get there early - and there’s still usually several people ahead of us.

At other parishes that I’ve gone to Confession, there might only be about a half hour scheduled on any given Saturday, and one person takes 20 minutes of that scheduled half hour! But you know, if the person needs it, the person needs it.

Personally, my confessions are usually pretty short - at least after I can get the words out about what I did (I stutter sometimes, and when I’m nervous, it’s worse).
 
Nelka said:
Whenever I go to confession there is always someone who goes in and stays in for a long time, maybe someone hasn’t been for 50 years and they have a long list of sins but it can’t be the same for all of them.

I’m not attacking anyone but just wondering, it does concern me sometimes when confession is only on for 20 minutes especially if it is just before Mass and I feel I won’t get my turn as they are taking too long.

Do you like to nest in the confessional?

🙂
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Oh, Nelka, you say you aren’t attacking but the term you used’ nesting’ says otherwise.

Its understandable, you are frustrated that your time has been infringed upon, but rather than being upset about it, rejoice WITH the Lord that a brother or sister is getting the help they so need. There would be no other reason for a soul ‘nesting’ in a confessional except that they need soul assistance.

The priest is also in charge of who gets the time, so if they are in there for that long the priest sees it necessary to speak to them. Besides, the whole set up time of confessions is not there for reasons that its should only take that amount of time, but rather for the convenience of the masses. Priests are supposed to hear confessions whenever they are asked. Its true people can make appointments with priests and confess then if they see that they will need a lot of time, but it sometimes happens a person is either ignorant of that fact, or new to the faith, or someone gets in there not intending to spend more time in there… Sometimes its the priest that goes overtime too.

If you don’t want to wait in the confession line, don’t sin. Or do the better thing: offer up the frustrations you feel for waiting so long as a penance for those sins. Or make sure you get there really early.

Oh and if you find yoruself getting bored and frustrating for waiting, start praying intently with love for the soul that is in there confessing. That’s an actual cure because you WILL be doing something of extreme importance, and not bored, not frustrated, not irritated. You can’t actually pray for someone’s behalf and be angry with them at the same time… Wouldn’t’ you like it if someone did that for you? Wouldn’t that be so lovely?
 
Polyphony said:
…Furthermore, I actually like waiting a long time for others to finish. It really is a great time to pray and to reflect, …
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I feel the same. I also like that it ‘burns’ inside, the nervousness, the fear of confessing… it should. It should be ‘burned’ out of you so that you learn your lesson and don’t go for the sin again. I find that when waiting longer amounts of time to confess, the more reflection on those sins I am to confess and the more it has time to ‘burn’… like being face to face with God, or at least, waiting at the gates to be judged. This is good, even though its uncomfortable to most people. I rather it be ‘burned’ out of me with my own discomfort than it be like an infection accidentally missed by a surgeon, left inside to fester.
 
If possible, I try to get there 15-20 minutes before confession time begins so I am either 1st or 2nd in line.

I am always conscience of the line behind me and try to be as quick as possible. I usually take 5 minutes, tops. Although it hasn’t happened yet, if I know it will be a long confession or I need extra time to talk to my priest, I will make an appointment.
 
Nelka said:
Whenever I go to confession there is always someone who goes in and stays in for a long time, maybe someone hasn’t been for 50 years and they have a long list of sins but it can’t be the same for all of them.

I’m not attacking anyone but just wondering, it does concern me sometimes when confession is only on for 20 minutes especially if it is just before Mass and I feel I won’t get my turn as they are taking too long.

Do you like to nest in the confessional?

🙂
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Your annoyance is misplaced. It should be directed toward the Priest. He should be meeting with people after Mass if they were not able to confess during the allotted time.

A Penitent person needs as much time as they need. Your time is no more valuable than theirs. The time they take is between themselves and God, as is yours.

The Priest who is only allotting 20 minutes per week for confession should be discussing his policy with the Bishop in this Year of Mercy.
 
WJeffrey said:
Your annoyance is misplaced. It should be directed toward the Priest. He should be meeting with people after Mass if they were not able to confess during the allotted time.
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There are multiple legitimate reasons why a priest would not be able to do this.
WJeffrey said:
The Priest who is only allotting 20 minutes per week for confession should be discussing his policy with the Bishop in this Year of Mercy.
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There is no indication in the OP that confession in this parish is only available for 20 minutes per week.
 
The last time this happened to me, when I had to wait a long time, I thought that there must be a person who hasn’t been to confession 20 years in there. To my surprise I discovered it was the priest who was taking up the time. I was far enough away not to make out any words, but I could hear mumbling, and then when I went in, he talked and talked and talked. I was behind a screen so i couldn’t show any non-verbal signals, and I didn’t want to interrupt him, but he did manage to make it out in time to say Mass. The person behind me must have thought the same as I did.
 
In a previous parish there was a woman who went to confession every time it was offered. She would take up more time than most. At first I was a bit annoyed, especially if I was at the end of the line.

But then it occurred to me this woman was suffering. I don’t know her struggles but there were times I could hear her wailing in the confessional. Couldn’t hear her confession but I/we were able to hear her cries. She certainly was in pain so she needed that time. So I made a decision, well a couple of decisions. When I went to confession I would either go early to get in line and if not that, to pray for this woman. I’m not sure if her life is any better for the prayer, but mine is.
 
There’s a reason I am usually the first one in for confession. I’ll leave it at that (I usually don’t take long)
 
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