Why do they love me?

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EMILYOCD

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Am struggling to understand why am loved i view myself as nothing special i have a lot of self hate because of things in my past
i see a therapist but i see her every 2 weeks
i have an eating disorder and have not been getting any help until now because my BMI is too high and am obese ( they think because am obese that i dont starve myself )
finally got help i have to write a journal about what i eat and my feelings about it
My husband is trying to get me to eat when all i want to do is starve myself until am thin

am finding it hard to believe that someone important as Jesus would love me
am worthless
 
EMILYOCD said:
Am struggling to understand why am loved i view myself as nothing special i have a lot of self hate because of things in my past
i see a therapist but i see her every 2 weeks
i have an eating disorder and have not been getting any help until now because my BMI is too high and am obese ( they think because am obese that i dont starve myself )
finally got help i have to write a journal about what i eat and my feelings about it
My husband is trying to get me to eat when all i want to do is starve myself until am thin

am finding it hard to believe that someone important as Jesus would love me
am worthless
Click to expand...
http://www.orthodoxmarketplace.com/images/detailed/3/11H11.jpg

This is love and He did this for you and all of us. You never have to despair of God’s love. Do you have children? Is there anything they could ever do to cause you not to love them anymore? How much more does God love His children.
 
The ED is something that contradicts the church’s teaching on who we ARE. All the negative thought processes that derive from an ED are false. They are designed to strike down our sense of self-worth in Christ, and to cause us to doubt the truth that He could love us enough to sacrifice for us.

It’s a tool used by the enemy to create a schism. Because reality is that, not ONLY did Christ lay down his life for you, but God the Father asked Him to do so… KNOWING who you are on a level so deep and fundamental that it almost surpasses what you know of yourself.

I’m wondering if your therapist is Catholic? Or at the very least Christian?

I have found Christian therapy to be infinitely helpful in helping me see myself the way that God intended.
 
i am childless i know its a sin but my husbands has had the snip we cant have children due to my mental health i see and hear things that haunt me so much i have so many problems
i try to be good but i feel its never enough
my past haunts me also i cant get past it am getting help from a Psychologist
but i still think of myself as worthless
 
CaitlinSiobhan said:
The ED is something that contradicts the church’s teaching on who we ARE. All the negative thought processes that derive from an ED are false. They are designed to strike down our sense of self-worth in Christ, and to cause us to doubt the truth that He could love us enough to sacrifice for us.

It’s a tool used by the enemy to create a schism. Because reality is that, not ONLY did Christ lay down his life for you, but God the Father asked Him to do so… KNOWING who you are on a level so deep and fundamental that it almost surpasses what you know of yourself.

I’m wondering if your therapist is Catholic? Or at the very least Christian?

I have found Christian therapy to be infinitely helpful in helping me see myself the way that God intended.
Click to expand...
Am unsure if my therapist is christian
 
EMILYOCD said:
Am struggling to understand why am loved i view myself as nothing special i have a lot of self hate because of things in my past
i see a therapist but i see her every 2 weeks
i have an eating disorder and have not been getting any help until now because my BMI is too high and am obese ( they think because am obese that i dont starve myself )
finally got help i have to write a journal about what i eat and my feelings about it
My husband is trying to get me to eat when all i want to do is starve myself until am thin

am finding it hard to believe that someone important as Jesus would love me
am worthless
Click to expand...
Starving yourself is a horrible thing to do.
It can have disastrous health consequences.

The way you described yourself does not indicate worthless in any way.
Self hatred is very harmful.
You are a valuable human being who is struggling with issues that do not indicate that you are a bad person.
Jesus wants all to be drawn to him and saved.
If you sincerely seek him out through prayer, bible reading, and attending mass.
St. Alphonsus Liguori sees confession as a great opportunity for spiritual direction.
Consider talking to a priest in conjunction with a faithful catholic therapist.
 
I would guess not only Jesus loves you, But what about those close to you, your family.
What about your Husband ? He must really love you…faults and all. First thing you could do,
unless you do it already,is thank him, take him to the movies, buy yourselves some nice lunch, have a weekly day out together,
by being good to others, you are being good to Jesus
 
Phil, good advice.

Emily, you’d be surprised at how many people have reservations about their worth sometimes.
We can be harder on ourselves than anyone else might suspect.

You are a princess of the Lord’s kingdom,
a daughter of the great King, our heavenly Father
 
Hi. You pinched my “name” :rotfl: but we have more than that in common, believe me!
Whenever you hate yourself and can only see negatives, remember what those wise, loving previous posters have written. We all care about you, are praying for you and want you to feel better.
More important by far is that God Loves You and lives within you. His love never fades and He is always there. You are His child and are uniquely precious to Him. Never doubt this.
When life is black for you, His loving arms are around to comfort and sustain you. Just whisper His name and you will feel comforted. Trust Him. He asks us to Know Him, Love Him and Serve Him in this life, so that we will be happy with Him forever in the next.
Make a list of all the things that make you feel happy - anything, from sunsets to chocolate - whatever!
Life is so short, dear friend, please grab at happiness while you can and thank God for it.

God bless you, comfort you and keep you from all harm. :hug3:
 
Hi EmilyOCD,

You are so precious in the eyes of God. 🙂

We care about you so much too here, on the Forum.

You are not worthless, either.

((Hugs)) to you, my dear. Hang in there, and take each day as it comes.

Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. :hug1:
 
EMILYOCD said:
Am struggling to understand why am loved i view myself as nothing special i have a lot of self hate because of things in my past
i see a therapist but i see her every 2 weeks
i have an eating disorder and have not been getting any help until now because my BMI is too high and am obese ( they think because am obese that i dont starve myself )
finally got help i have to write a journal about what i eat and my feelings about it
My husband is trying to get me to eat when all i want to do is starve myself until am thin

am finding it hard to believe that someone important as Jesus would love me
am worthless
Click to expand...
This is really hard to read. Pray. Please don’t starve yourself. It is good you are seeing a therapist. Try not to be alone for too long. Try to find hobbies so you can forget yourself.
 
There are no unforgivable sins.

The Lord wants you to keep getting up every time you fall, and he has His hand out to help you.

The Lord wants you to be kind to your body, which He made.

He has absolutely nothing better to do than to help you individually, and to love you every moment.

You don’t have to get well in a moment. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Take your time and do whatever you can do. Don’t worry about what you can’t do yet, or what you aren’t doing. Just do what you can do, and be glad.
 
EMILYOCD said:
Am struggling to understand why am loved i view myself as nothing special i have a lot of self hate because of things in my past
i see a therapist but i see her every 2 weeks
i have an eating disorder and have not been getting any help until now because my BMI is too high and am obese ( they think because am obese that i dont starve myself )
finally got help i have to write a journal about what i eat and my feelings about it
My husband is trying to get me to eat when all i want to do is starve myself until am thin

am finding it hard to believe that someone important as Jesus would love me
am worthless
Click to expand...
What helped my wife was we began working on Practicing the Presence of God - described by Brother Lawrence in the 1600’s and in the online book at this site: ccel.org/ccel/lawrence/practice.i.html - you could probably read through it in an hour or two. But also then do what he describes - keep Jesus, the Father, the Spirit in your attention. Whenever you are about to do something, anything, speak to God and tell him you are doing this thing for him: “Jesus, I am about to go for a walk, and I am going to do it for you, a gift to you”; “Father, I am about to do the laundry, and I am going to do it for you, a gift.” “Lord, I am going to Mass now, and it is for you”. Then do the thing you told him was a gift, and when done, tell him, “God, here is your gift, complete, for you to use as you see fit.” All day long, having God present in all you think and do, and talking to him in it all.

We also got this little booklet by Peter Kreeft - “Prayer for Beginners” which ties in the Brother Lawrence’s booklet giving reasoning and practice in doing it (no link to this, so you would have to invest in it, but we think it is worth it.

But, basically it takes you away from fixing yourself by trying to re-do yourself, and returns you to paying attention to the most important thing in your life and doing things for Him, all things. And you begin to be a single minded person, not divided by emotions and passions. You come to know Jesus because you talk with him all day long and do things out of love for him all day long, and you come to realize he does know and love you.

Go to the website above and read it and try it.
 
EMILYOCD,

I think you should pray each day, as many times as possible to ask God to show you how much He truly loves you. Especially when you are tempted to starve yourself, or when you feel stressed out or upset. Maybe pray a Chaplet of Divine Mercy each day with the intention of inner healing and God’s revelation of His love for you. Even when us Christians hear about God’s love (John 3:16) each time we go to Church or see a crucifix, we need God Himself to help us to understand it in our hearts, not just our minds.

Have you ever heard of Made in His Image? It’s an organization founded by Maura Byrne. She has struggled with her own suffering and she wants to help other women (and men) by raising awareness about eating disorders, abuse, depression, and more. She has resources on her website and inspiring blogs. madeinhisimage.org/category/eating-disorder-recovery/

Also, I saw the post where you mentioned you are unable to have children and had to sterilize. The Church understands the legitimacy of when a couple are not ready to have babies because of emotional reasons. I know you must be really scared to get pregnant because of what you posted. I get it. It’s rough to even consider parenting in these situations and God understands what you are going through and really does love you and your husband. But, just know that you have other options besides sterilization. If you want to learn more about where to learn and how to find an NFP Doctor visit www.fertilitycare.org or contact your local diocese’s Office of Marriage and Family Life. I’m not a doctor but I think consulting an NFP doctor would be best.

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is endorsed by the Church and has many different methods:

What are the methods of NFP?

Each NFP method is focused on one or more signs of female fertility. They can be grouped into three categories
  1. Cervical Mucus Methods (CMM)
    The methods that observe cervical mucus are commonly called the “Ovulation Method” or “OM.” In NFP education, a woman learns how to identify the normal, healthy, cervical mucus which indicates the days that sexual intercourse is most likely to result in pregnancy. A number of NFP providers teach a variety of approaches to the observation and charting of cervical mucus (e.g., Billings Ovulation Method Association—USA, Creighton Model FertilityCare™ Centers, Family of the Americas, etc.).
  2. Sympto-Thermal Methods (STM)
    The methods that observe several signs of fertility and cross-check two or more of the signs to p(name removed by moderator)oint ovulation are commonly called the “Sympto-Thermal Method” or “STM.” STM typically combines charting of the Basal Body Temperature (BBT) and cervical mucus with other optional indicators, such as changes in the cervix and secondary fertility signs. A number of NFP providers teach a variety of approaches to the observation and charting of these signs (e.g., Couple to Couple League, Northwest Family Services, various diocesan programs, etc.).
Code: 
3. Sympto-Hormonal Method (SHM)
The method that observes several signs of fertility and adds the use of an ovulation predictor kit (OPK) or fertility monitor is called the "Sympto-Hormonal Method" or "SHM." Similar to the STM, this approach adds the self-detection of reproductive hormones in the urine with the assistance of an OPK or fertility monitor. Various diocesan NFP programs make use of the SHM as well as Marquette University's Institute for NFP (Marquette Model). From [usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/](http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/)
I hope you know you’re in my prayers.
 
*Originally Posted by EMILYOCD View Post
Am struggling to understand why am loved i view myself as nothing special i have a lot of self hate because of things in my past
i see a therapist but i see her every 2 weeks
i have an eating disorder and have not been getting any help until now because my BMI is too high and am obese ( they think because am obese that i dont starve myself )
finally got help i have to write a journal about what i eat and my feelings about it
My husband is trying to get me to eat when all i want to do is starve myself until am thin
Click to expand...
am finding it hard to believe that someone important as Jesus would love me
am worthless*
Click to expand...
Oh Emily, Our Father in Heaven is not the least bit interested in how you perceive yourself in the mirror.
He IS interested in how you are doing, and whether you are growing into
the spiritually happy young woman that you were created to be. It’s only mankind that has chosen to pass judgment
on itself by means of false images and air-brushed faces!

None of us can possibly measure up to what satan tells us through these false images; and we were never meant to!
That’s the important thing to remember!

In the mornings when the birds sing, that is a gift to us as He shows us how He has blessed such tiny
little creatures that really appear to have no useful function in the world of man
other than to lift us with their birdsong.

Why? because our Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally. We don’t have to say or do or look any particular way,
God loves us just the way we are!
That doesn’t mean that we can’t try to be better. Of course not. We all need to improve,
not just you, all of us.
But Emily, God’s love is not based on how any of us look. Remember that!

Emily, you mentioned having a lot of self hate. I suspect that if we were to look inside many of us that
you would find the same thing. Because on earth, we have a tendency to measure ourselves
against all the wrong standards.

When I worked, I was embarrassed about all the scars that I had somehow acquired on my forearms. It was from gnats and other things that would bite me when I would work in the garden
and they would itch like crazy and before I knew it I had another scar.
Over time my arms were covered with these scars. I could barely stand to look at them and I always kept
my arms covered even in the hottest weather! They were ugly!
OR WERE THEY?

It has taken a long time, Emily, but I have finally gotten to where I wear what I want and don’t give a second thought to anything on my arms. Did it come easy? No, but if you give it to God
each and every day, He will take these hidden things that torment you and
He will drop them into the deepest sea, where Corrie Ten Boom use to say, God posted a sign that said
NO FISHING!!
In other words, they are gone forever!

WE LOVE YOU EMILY, PLEASE READ ALL YOUR MESSAGES GIVE YOURSELF AND GOD,
A CHANCE!!
 
Thank you all and may God bless you all for your kindness
my husband loves me so much he is lying on the sofa at the moment because am awake and because of my mental health problems am not able to look after myself i self injure and in the past i have OD’ed
My husband has to be with me 24/7 i love this man and he never get a break from looking after me
my husband isnt christian he an atheist
without him id be dead by now
Am starting to work on things i have to write a jounral about what food am eating
its hard as i got to write how i feel about eating as well

I love Jesus and i know with loving Jesus i must also love myself

its just very hard not to think about negative things

thank you all for your kindness
its 4.48 am and am wide awake
going to pray the rosary and pray for you all
Emily
 
Thanks for sharing that Emily, you are really lucky, because firstly you realise that you have a problem, many live in total denial about that fact, and blame everyone else ,
Plus you have a husband that actually does obviously love you,
Grab him and thank him for being their,and like I said earlier, go out together for lunch somewhere , it doesn’t need to be expensive , good luck Emerly , take care
 
we have meals out but i always feel guilty because have a hard time with food
we just got a cheep car my husband dont work and am disabled due to my mental health
we are trying to save money all our spare money is going on the car
the car has problems as it was second hand and the person who sold us the didnt tell us about its problems
in other words he sold us a lemon we didnt get an independent advice on the car when we bought it
the reason we where able to buy the car is my husband grandpa left him some money
not loads but just enough to let us buy the car
we have to save money so we can pay insurace next year for the car and its MOT

I hugged my husband this morning even thought he is half a sleep and laying on the sofa while am on line its 7.04 am and i cant sleep
its saturday we arent doing much good day for snuggles
 
i walked out the house in my pjs my husband was sleeping he woke up got dressed and caught me
Voices tell me to hurt myself i have hurt myself before i self injure a lot
this and things in my past is making things hard for me
I dont have my Therapist number
worried my husband unnecessarily
 
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