Why do we have to confess all our sins

[oliver109]

I am planning to go to confession very very soon, this being Lent I feel that it is an ideal time to confess, not that confessing at any other time is not ideal. The only issue I have is that I have so much to confess having not been to confession for the past 5 or so years and having lived a to be quite frank a rather immoral life in those years. The main issue I have is that confession has to have details of every sin, why cant we be forgiven by just confessing the worse of those mortal sins? or even by having a chat with a priest about ones struggles with sin and doing it like that? When Christ forgave people he just said “your sins are forgiven” without asking the sinner to go through their lifes sins in detail, why cant it be that simple?

 

[ioannes_pius]

First, I’m glad you are going to confession after for the first time in five years. You’re doing the right thing.

The main issue I have is that confession has to have details of every sin,

You don’t have to have (and in fact, shouldn’t) recount every single detail of every single sin in confession, except where it would change the moral species of the sin. For example, if you stole a substantial sum of money from a secular business, it would be sufficient to say: “I accuse myself of stealing a substantial amount of money,” or something like that. However, if you stole from a Catholic Church, the species of the sin is different, because an element of sacrilege is now involved. Thus, you would have to say that you stole from a Church.

why cant we be forgiven by just confessing the worse of those mortal sins?

Because the Church, inspired by God, has defined that we must confess all of our unconfessed mortal sins, in kind and number, in confession. In this case, it isn’t useful to rank our mortal sins from ‘least’ to ‘worse’ and only confess the ‘worst’ ones, because every mortal sin destroys sanctifying grace in the soul and condemns one to Hell.

or even by having a chat with a priest about ones struggles with sin and doing it like that? When Christ forgave people he just said “your sins are forgiven” without asking the sinner to go through their lifes sins in detail, why cant it be that simple?

Because those are not the ordinary means that Christ instituted for the forgiveness of sins.

 

[JMMJ]

Personally, I don’t go to confession because I don’t believe it is necessary. For someone who is scrupulous, it can be quite harmful and counter-productive to living a life in peace.

I have a heart to heart talk with God on a regular basis. He has my back.

I haven’t found a good answer, from Church teaching, to the questions you asked in your OP. Believe me, I have searched the better part of my adult life. Nothing.

Just wanted you to know you aren’t alone in searching for answers to these questions.

 

[oliver109]

Thank you for your response, it looks like I will have a very tough time at Confession then, I know I have sinned so often that I will need a substantial amount of time to confess my sins, I pray that I will remember what to confess and that I may do so thoroughly, so many of my previous confessions have been too vague and done in a half hearted manner.

 

[Fauken]

Why not schedule a time for confession? It would give you more time to confess your sins, and the priest could help you examine your conscience.

 

[oliver109]

That is my plan, I am just anxious about how much I have to write down to confess, as I have said it has been 5 years since my last confession and I have lived with a very aggressive personality that has meant I have sinned gravely at least twice a week.

 

[Flopfoot]

I don’t mean to hijack the OPs thread, but I’m also scrupulous, but I recognise the sacrament is important so I try to go once a year. I don’t want to fool myself into making up sins or elevating some of my venial sins to mortal. So if I suspect I haven’t actually committed any mortal sins since my last confession I’ll just say to the priest that I don’t want to confess anything specific.

To the OP, writing down in advance can be a helpful tool, you’ll probably want to kee your piece of paper secret and destroy it after though. Do your best, and if you forget something and remember it afterward then just save it for your next confession

 

[Vico]

…

No, because the sorrow we should have for our sins should be interior, supernatural, universal, and sovereign. We offend against God and the Church when we sin and the priest is to consider this kind and quantity to give a penance.

 

[VanitasVanitatum]

When Christ forgave people he just said “your sins are forgiven” without asking the sinner to go through their lifes sins in detail, why cant it be that simple?

Jesus was able to know what they, but that’s not something that a priest can do.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The only issue I have is that I have so much to confess having not been to confession for the past 5 or so years and having lived a to be quite frank a rather immoral life in those years. The main issue I have is that confession has to have details of every sin, why cant we be forgiven by just confessing the worse of those mortal sins? or even by having a chat with a priest about ones struggles with sin and doing it like that? When Christ forgave people he just said “your sins are forgiven” without asking the sinner to go through their lifes sins in detail, why cant it be that simple?

I was away from confession for 18 years, didn’t lead a moral life during that time (had at least three big fat grave matter sins ongoing for years) and when I came back I was done with confession within about 5-7 minutes. I remembered one or two additional sins later so I made a couple trips back. But really, 5 years isn’t that long.

I would suggest maybe making an appointment with the priest to discuss. I’m betting the priest doesn’t need as much detail as you’re thinking he needs.

 

[oliver109]

Why could Jesus not give the priest the powers to know all ones sins? Padre Pio was able to help people make thorough confessions because he was gifted with the ability to know the whole details of peoples lives.

 

[Fauken]

Why could Jesus not give the priest the powers to know all ones sins? Padre Pio was able to help people make thorough confessions because he was gifted with the ability to know the whole details of peoples lives.

Because not all priests are like Padre Pio. If God thought it was necessary, he would have given it to them. I’ll never be a priest, but knowing me, I’d go mad from the knowledge of other people’s sins.

 

[oliver109]

I think that if there were many priests with the powers of Padre Pio less people would go to Hell because their confessions would be satisfactory. Maybe I am wrong but it does remain a puzzle.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

You’re assuming a whole lot of people are in there making “unsatisfactory confessions”. I doubt that, because if somebody is motivated to go to confession, he is likely to do a decent enough job of confessing his sins for God to give him full credit for the confession.

Anyway, my opinion is you are stressing out way too much over this. Please, make an appointment with the priest so you will have time to discuss with him.

 

[oliver109]

Trust me, I have made a lot of bad confessions, in many cases it was just nerves getting the better of me, I have messed up interactions with beautiful girls for the same reason which has made it very hard for me datingwise.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Unlike a human girl, the Lord is not going to hold a confession against you if you somehow messed up from being nervous. He loves you and understands.
If you slip up and forget a mortal sin, just tell God you’re sorry, then go back and confess it at the next opportunity for confession.

Assuming you are no longer sinning, then after you have done the initial confession and maybe a couple follow-ups, and you go about once every month or two, you will have relatively little to report.

 

[oliver109]

The thing is I want to feel at ease, like the priest I am talking to is my best friend, maybe the problem is that I find it hard to warm to people, some I have been very willing to open up about anything to, but with many priests I have spoken to it is more like the somewhat impersonal conversation one has with the shop owner or supermarket worker than a real deep conversation one may have with a friend one has grown up with.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I understand you want to feel at ease, and some priests are really good at putting folks in the confessional at ease. Some priests aren’t. If you find a priest whose confession style you like, you can try to go to him repeatedly, but you need to also be able to go to other priests because the one you like may have to go out of town, get transferred, take a leave of absence for illness, etc and you still have to keep going to confession even when your preferred priest is not available.

Confession also isn’t really the place for having friendly interaction with the priests. Like I said, some priests are good at that because they just have friendly personalities or are gifted confessors. But many priests aren’t good at it. And even the priests who are good at it will get a little rushed or unable to respond in a totally friendly way when they are in a time crunch or have other things on their mind.

Confession therefore can be quite impersonal: list your sins, get a penance, get absolved, the priest may or may not give you 2 sentences of advice. Remember your main goal in there is to receive the sacramental absolution, not to get counseling from the priest or bond with him.

 

[oliver109]

That is the thing, Confession should not be rushed, a priest should bond with parishoners the way a good father bonds with their child or a husband with their wife, I have sadly had many experiences where I feel like the priest is responding like a busy doctor rather than my own father or a devoted wife.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Unfortunately, we have a priest shortage at this time, and also inadequate time for confessions. If every Catholic suddenly decided to step up their game and start going to confession once a month, the available priests and the scheduled timeslots would be grossly inadequate to handle them all.

It’s my understanding that in some of the Eastern Catholic churches, the confession is more fatherly and less rushed, as you say, and the priest likely knows his parishioners better also. One reason for that is their congregations tend to be smaller. When I go to Mass in a parish with several thousand people in it, no way is every priest working there going to intimately know everybody. Some of the priests don’t even stay around that long, some are just visiting or coming over from a nearby monastery to help out.