Why Do We Mourn Death

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robwire

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Hello! I’ve been raised in the faith but never really truly believed and practiced until a few months ago. There’s still many things I don’t fully understand, and I’m sure I’ll never fully understand everything. But one thing that’s been on my mind a lot lately is why do we mourn and grieve when someone dies? If we believe that with death begins a new, perfect and eternal life, why don’t we celebrate when someone dies? And if heaven is the only thing promised to us, why don’t we pray for a death?
 
Even Jesus wept when is friend, Lazarus, died - and Jesus was getting ready to raise Lazarus from the dead! It is a natural, human emotion to be sad when we lose someone.
 
We grieve because we miss the person and it’s going to be a long time or at least a while before we get to see our loved one again. If you have not lost someone close to you to death yet, you’re not going to “get it” until this happens.
 
I have lost close ones before and I also grieved. It’s hard to have this conversation with people because I’d never want to take away from their grieving. I understand it’s natural for everyone to feel this way, I just don’t really understand the reason behind it
 
Holy Scripture explicitly tells us to mourn the dead:

Sirach 38:16-22

"My child, let your tears fall for the dead,
and as one in great pain begin the lament.
Lay out the body with due ceremony,
and do not neglect the burial.
Let your weeping be bitter and your wailing fervent;
make your mourning worthy of the departed,
for one day, or two, to avoid criticism;
then be comforted for your grief.
For grief may result in death,
and a sorrowful heart saps one’s strength.
When a person is taken away, sorrow is over;
but the life of the poor weighs down the heart.

Do not give your heart to grief;
drive it away, and remember your own end.
Do not forget, there is no coming back;
you do the dead no good, and you injure yourself.
Remember his fate, for yours is like it;
yesterday it was his, and today it is yours.
When the dead is at rest, let his remembrance rest too,
and be comforted for him when his spirit has departed."

Sirach 22:11-12

"Weep over the dead, for their light has gone out; weep over the fool, for sense has left him.
Weep but less bitterly over the dead, for they are at rest;
Worse than death is the life of a fool.

Mourning for the dead, seven days —
But for the wicked fool, a whole lifetime."
 
^^^ This,
and besides, we’re kidding ourselves if we do not mourn the loss of loved ones. It’s NORMAL to mourn, and we deny a basic human emotion when we suppress it.
We have trust in the mercy of God yes, but we feel the reality of a loved one gone from our life.
 
We are mourning our loss. We can both mourn our loss and rejoice for the person who died. But if that person was someone close we can feel like a part of our being is missing, the world is a little darker. It’s beneficial to acknowledge these this as part if the grief process.
 
robwire said:
I understand it’s natural for everyone to feel this way, I just don’t really understand the reason behind it
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You don’t need a reason other than “it’s natural”.
As TheLittleLady said, even Jesus wept; he was human and he grieved for his friend, even though he knew that (a) his friend would soon rise from the dead and (b) when his friends died they would soon enough be with him in Paradise.

Grief is by and large NOT a logical thing. I have had people die who were terribly ill on earth and had no quality of life to speak of and whose suffering was ended by their death. Logically, I should have been throwing a party that they were finally free. I grieved anyway.
 
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We do pray for them. We mourn because we miss the physical presence of people The pain is very real and very deep in some cases. Yes, we will meet them in heaven, but it takes awhile for the pain to: ease in our hearts. I lost a brother and my husband within a two year period. I miss them and hold alot of pain for them.I hope anyone who is mourning for a lost one will find some peace [ as I do ] in the Merciful heart of Jesus. God Bless you:🦋🦋.
 
I can understand a sadness in the fact that we’ll miss them for the rest of our earthly life. But I can’t understand being sad for them as if something bad happened to them. If the after life is supposed to be so great that were unable to even comprehend it in this life, I don’t see why death is bad for the person dying. Like I said, I only came to the faith somewhat recently. The few occasions I lost somebody I grieved because I didn’t believe in an afterlife and I thought that was the complete end. I recently got out of the Marine Corps infantry, and I don’t know if being around death and killing more than the average person desensitized me a bit so to speak, but I see death being as natural as life. And if there’s an after life, I don’t understand why death is considered so horrible
 
We don’t know where they are going.
If they go to Hell, there is much to be sad about their life.
If they go to purgatory, there is much to be sad about their pains and having to wait for Heaven.
If they go to Heaven, there is much to mourn about the world losing such a holy soul.
 
First let me say my husband was a Marine and I am very proud of him.Semper fi…Maybe I didn’t get across what I was trying to say. I am not afraid of death because I know Jesus opened heaven for us and my faith is very strong. Being sad for the loss of someone you love is very natural just as death is apart of life. Death is not considered horrible, but you cannot expect one not to grieve for someone they love. There is an after life, with Jesus waiting to embrace those who love Him. Our loved ones we pray for and with the grace of God they may intercede for us.God Bless you.🦋🦋
 
Because we loved them so much.and if you ever loved someone so you will feel heartache. It,s a normal emotion. Have you ever lost someone? Yes we believe in the souls going to heaven,but still their is sadness because we miss and love them
 
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robwire said:
I don’t know if being around death and killing more than the average person desensitized me a bit so to speak, but I see death being as natural as life.
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Death is as natural as life, but yes, you are likely desensitized to it.
You may never regard it in the same way as some people who have not had to deal with it on a daily basis.
 
Kei said:
We don’t know where they are going.
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This is also a huge worry. Catholics do not believe that people are just automatically assured of heaven. We are taught that relatively few are saved, and that most souls will have to go through purgatory, which could be painful or unpleasant for our loved ones.

There is a great deal of worry sometimes over where exactly your loved one is at, are they suffering, etc. depending on the circumstances of the death and the life they led beforehand. It can take a lot of faith and prayer to get past this worry.
 
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Dear rob wire,
Yes, Jesus wept! We in our corruptible bodies feel sad when someone dies. I will compare it to a good friend moving to a far away state. We are sad and cry. The emotion is for the missing someone dear in our lives.
The Irish have a Hx. of a grand “CRACK”. They can be rowdy to WAKE the dead. Now, I’ve not seen this in our present day. Hx has it, one hired keeners. They’d moan, starting in a high pitch and trail lower.
But you are correct in that it is a time to rejoice. We’ve graduated in glory. DONT MOURN FOR ME ARGENTINA. Recently, they roasted Joan Rivers in her Jewish Temple.?Very disrespectful.
I wear mourning white.
“DO NOT LOOK FOR THE LIVING AMONGST THE DEAD…”
DEATH WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY! DEATH WHERE IS YOUR STING!
In Christ’s love
Tweedlealice
 
yeah, we do it because it’s normal to do it.
It’s nice that Scripture tells us to do it, but nobody ever started mourning their mom because they flipped open a Bible and said “oh this says I need to mourn now so I guess I’ll do that”.
It is a natural response to the person no longer being physically in your life.
 
This will be my last post, please understand we are. just trying to get you to understand. We love Jesus and we know He is in heaven. Yet whenever I say the stations of the Cross I am very sad, or the sorrowful mysteries ,when I read the bible starting with the last supper, or when I watch Jesus of Nazareth the agony in the garden, the arrest of Jesus, the crucifixion my heart breaks for all leads to the death of Jesus and what He endured. Is it natural to feel pain for Jesus,s death, all the while we know He will rise and go to the Father. I say yes, that is what I believe. God Bless::🦋🦋
 
Death is an enemy, brought to use through Adam’s sin. It is an evil, and according to the Bible is the last enemy that Christ will do away with when that time comes. So like all pain and suffering here on earth, it is something that is naturally sad, sometimes tragic and horrible (such as a sudden death, or death of a child).

Yet–Christ has made everything new. The great good news of Christianity is that He turns all our suffering to good for those that love Him. Thus, death, willingly accepted in whatever way God gives it to us, too is changed into a thing beneficial for us and others.

The saints often state something to the effect (following St. Paul) that whether God gives them life or death it is all the same to them–God is Lord of both. I think often of St. Francis of Assisi calling death, “Little sister death.” That is indeed something to meditate on.
 
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