Why do you prefer face to face confession?

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UpUpAndAway said:
the screen isn’t available everywhere in this corner of the planet. Makes no difference to me.
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What?! That’s a shame really, confessional booths are sometimes difficult to find in US?
In Europe confessionals are very standard in every church I’ve been to and I live in Norway and even here we do have confessionals in every church I’ve been to.

As I said in my OP I doubt I would’ve confessed at all if I couldn’t use the confessional.
It’s actually at the point where I would’ve seriously considered to confess at a Orthodox Church if I was allowed too.

I really hope this “development” never comes to Europe…

Yours in Jesus and Mary
  • MarianCatholic
 
Like some others here, I have a regular confessor at the abbey I’m associated with as oblate. Actually two. One is getting frail and elderly and another monk has taken his place, but the previous one fills in when the current one is absent, which is the case these days as the current regular confessor is “on loan” to Saint Paul Outside the Walls in Rome until October.

Both know me and my issues very well, and provide sage advice. Both make me feel like I’m walking on air when I leave the confession room, because both reassure me of God’s love and mercy.
 
I have 3 regular confessors who know me by name and face and I let them know it’s me before we begin. Always in a Confessional though.

I wouldn’t hesitate to do a face to face, but there has not yet been a reason or need for it. My parish has confessions 6 days a week, twice on Saturdays.
 
What you call the “old way” was once an innovation itself. 😉
 
According to the poll it looks like a sizable majority prefer anonymous confession. So do I.

Once I went to my Catholic church in my neighborhood for confession (2,000 families and confession for 45 minutes each week), and I discovered when I went in that I did not have an option. I opened the door and was immediately in a small room where the priest was sitting in a chair that looked liked it came out of my grandparents’ house, wearing street clothes and a purple cloth around his neck with a giant grin on his face. This was probably three years ago, but I remember it as if it was yesterday.

I went through the confession, but felt surprised, confused, and uncomfortable. Face to face is not for me.
 
I prefer the accountability of face to face. Even though I’m confessing to Jesus himself through the priest, I still have to look this other human being in the eye and admit my very human failings. I mostly confess face to tace when I have the choice. One parish where I regularly confess only has the box. I don’t mind but the advice I get isn’t usuallly as relevant. I think it’s a lot easier to confess in the box and sometimes when I’m done I just feel like I’ve done my “duty”. Can’t really explain it.
 
In my parish, face to face confession is not really available for the scheduled confession times. One would have to call for an appointment. For one thing, there is always a line, and face to face tends to lengthen the confessions, thereby likely cutting off many of those in line from being able to go to confession.
 
Not only do I prefer the “anonymous” method, but when I go to confession I usually go to another church in town rather than the one I usually attend. I don’t want to risk having the priest recognize my voice.
 
I agree with Seamus L – I’m “old” and for many years used the confessional box and it’s difficult for me to get used to face to face to confession. In fact, our Church only has confession once a month and it’s face to face – sometimes I go to another Church which only has the confession box.
 
BarbG said:
I agree with Seamus L – I’m “old” and for many years used the confessional box and it’s difficult for me to get used to face to face to confession. In fact, our Church only has confession once a month and it’s face to face – sometimes I go to another Church which only has the confession box.
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I think the parish is probably in violation of canon law by not offering anonymous confession. Also, I can’t help but wonder if the fact that only face to face is made available might have some bearing on the fact that confessions are so rare that the sacrament is only offered once a month.
 
There was no option for “it depends.” I do a serious examination of conscience before heading off to monthly confession, with the prayer that the Holy Spirit inform and direct and convict me of my sins. By the time I walk into the confessional, God and I have worked things out (sometimes, painfully so . . . ) and I receive the sacrament anonymously (and typically pretty quickly). Once in a while, however, when I feel my sin is particularly hurtful to the community (let’s say I have joined in gossip and spoken ill of a staff member in the parish), I confess face-to-face as my own private penance and humbling for harming my brother or sister in the community. Both behind the screen and face-to-face are valid options and I use them as I am so moved.
 
I have tried face to face confession and it was awkward. I prefer the screen and have received excellent advice from priests using that method. If I go to my own parish for confession, the priest would know my voice anyway since I’ve done a lot of volunteer work at the parish.
I suspect that people who are more introverted prefer the screen.
 
I prefer anonymous, but truth be told I make better confessions face to face. I tend to be mechanical anonymously and more open and conversational face to face.
 
My first confession as a child was face to face type. Now as an adult, I prefer the confessional but have done some face to face as most places simply have the screen/kneeler option only.
 
I prefer using a confessional - a face-to-face confessional as opposed to a screened or grilled confessional. I don’t really like confessing face to face in the open, such as during a penance service when six or eight priests are scattered around the church hearing confessions.

I prefer seeing the priest and him seeing me because it is more intimate and personal. Sin is not an impersonal act, it is very personal. At the same time sin is not private, it must be revealed to the light/Light and it is truly revealed when spoken aloud to someone who can see me. This is also a very humbling experience and I need all the humility I can get.

Seeing me, the priests can get to know me a little better and they begin to give me more applicable advice on how to combat habitual sins. When they see me they know who I am right up front and know my circumstances without me having to give many of the details that might be needed to explain the seriousness of some sins (eg., sins against lust).

On the practical side, I’m terribly arthritic in the knees and cannot kneel at the grill. I must put a foot on the kneeler to activate the light and bend down to be heard: terribly awkward.
 
Perhaps this may give you some food for thought.

Sometimes, when I commit a really serious sin, I’m reluctant to go to confession. I don’t want the priest to hear what I did, and I’m afraid of his “judging” me. But, then I think…that’s just my pride (which, of course, we are not supposed to have). I should, in all humility, just go and confess my sins. Jesus knows them, and He set up a method of having them forgiven. So, why should I be afraid? Duh!?

Then, I think, "I’m going to a face-to-face confession. Maybe if I’m facing the priest, and just talking to him naturally…he will have compassion for my “messed up sins” and give me some guidance as to how to avoid them in the future.

There’s a lot to be said for ‘body language’ and looking someone ‘straight in the eye’. Remember, the eyes are the window to the soul. When I go to confession I want to have a clean window when I exit.

So, I have never been disappointed with a face-to-face confession. They are really soul-searching…and many a time I’ve been brought to tears when the priest that I’m facing says one thing or another that especially touches my heart.

I highly recommend face-to-face confessions. I don’t ever want to hide behind a curtain or screen again. Those days are over.
 
I prefer face-to-face because I feel I’ve been more open about admitting what I’ve done. It is the difference between making an apology by phone vs having to look someone in the eye and make the same apology. To look someone in the eye and admit what you’ve done allows them to look back at you and know that you’re the one who did it.

Still, I think the screen is there for the advancement of mercy. The Church does not want the confession to be harder, but to give the penitent the best opportunity to disclose offenses baldly and so be healed from his or her offenses and be reconciled with God and the Church. It seems that the penitent should choose not what feels the best, but the way that results in the most honest and thorough contrition and the least excuses coming from the penitent. On that account, I think it is a very good thing when a confessor offers both, because neither way is inherently better for everyone. Our parish has a screen and kneeler between the door and the priest, a chair near that (also out of sight of the priest), and a chair arranged so the penitent can sit and face him directly, so the penitent can choose either one, even penitents who want to remain anonymous but who can’t reliably get up and down from a kneeling position. I think that is the best.
 
I really dislike face to face confession. My first ever confession as a child was done face to face and the thought of doing it again is still unsettling. I don’t even want to do confession at the same church I go to. I usually go to the next parish over or elsewhere.

I would be happy if I could actually do confession over voice chat on my computer, as I feel it would motivate me to confess more often, but I know sacraments have to be in person.

There is all this talk about it being more humbling. I don’t need to feel humbled. I already feel anxious and sick before I go to screened confession, and it doesn’t even have to be for big sins.
 
Dymphna82 said:
I really dislike face to face confession. My first ever confession as a child was done face to face and the thought of doing it again is still unsettling. I don’t even want to do confession at the same church I go to. I usually go to the next parish over or elsewhere.

I would be happy if I could actually do confession over voice chat on my computer, as I feel it would motivate me to confess more often, but I know sacraments have to be in person.

There is all this talk about it being more humbling. I don’t need to feel humbled. I already feel anxious and sick before I go to screened confession, and it doesn’t even have to be for big sins.
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The desire to confess fully and often is the main thing. Whichever way leads to that end, do that. The same thing goes for having the same confessor every time. Some people prefer it, but some confess more fully and more often if they go to a different priest every time. Whatever gets you in there, contrite and hiding no sin from disclosure, do that!
 
I prefer to meet my Confessor face to face. It’s a life commitment.

I don’t just want to be forgiven, I want to be transformed.
 
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