Why do you prefer face to face confession?

[DMC12]

Hi, Im curious about face to face confessions and why this seems to be a growing tendency within fractions of the church?

I myself hasn’t been Catholic for long, but I’ve always confessed in the confessional and couldn’t even imaginate confessing in a room with a priest (face to face).
I think it has to do with the fact that I would feel so much more ashamed of my sins (to the point where I wouldn’t go receiving the sacrament) if I where actually able to stear my priest right into his face.

So for me there is the old fashion way or no way I guess.
This leads me to my question, Why do you prefer face to face confession instead of the an anonymous one?.

Also those of you who share my love for the confessional may feel free to share why they prefer it over the face to face version as well

Thanks in advance for replies:S

Yours in Jesus and Mary

• MarianCatholic

to me it is simple, here we dont have those, so its either face to face or nothing.

 

[pianistclare]

I normally go to confession with my spiritual director. He knows me absolutely inside out. He knows my strengths and my weaknesses, he knows my struggles and my triumphs. He’s a wise and gentle man and I’m blessed to know him. Of course I hate to admit my failings to him, but he knows them outside of the sacrament anyway.

If for some reason he isn’t available I still prefer to go face to face with another priest. I remember going in “the box” as a kid and absolutely hating it. Those feelings never left me. Seeing the priest I’m confessing to is more human and more humane. Besides, if I sat down with Jesus I imagine him reaching out to me and saying, “Tell me about it.” There wouldn’t be a screen separating us. Since that’s ultimately who I’m confessing to anyway, it’s what I prefer.

This. I need to look at the priest and have him look at me. Plus, it’s more of a deterrent, frankly. If you confess the same tired sins over and over, I think it make me think twice the next time around. If I have to face my regular confessor with the same problems, I’m not really repenting.
It’s far easier to go behind the screen and rattle off something. I find the face to face, more beneficial precisely because it is more humbling. And the priests are very kind.

 

[pianistclare]

I will go either face-to-face or behind the screen, but I have had to insist, several times, when our parish was planning “penance services” that the faithful are entitled to what its denigraters call “the box”, and that anonymity-preserving confessionals MUST be made available to them.

I think f2f is becoming more popular because catechists are violating Church law and insisting that children “learn” the sacrament f2f, just as there are some who try to insist that children must receive in the hand, (also an indult, not the norm.)

Religious Ed leaders, IME, are in many cases well-meaning but not very knowledgeable about what they are supposed to be “handing on”.

One reason i sometimes prefer behind the screen is that the priest, and my wondering how he might react can be distracting.

It is easier to focus on speaking Christ if the PRIEST is, in a way, “anonymous,” in his role as alter Christus. (That’s probably declined wrong.)

Confession is not Spiritual Direction.

(Save the Liturgy, Save the World)

Well, speaking as a RE Director, no we don’t pressure kids to doe on thing over another.
We give them both options. It’s the parents that influence this. We always teach both ways. We have priests available in both places.
The children fear the box, and the parents mostly have bad memories form the box, so they encourage them to go face to face, which is no less a Sacrament.
The children of other cultures than American tend to receive communion on the tongue, and the native Americans in the hand. They tend to do as their parents do.
I don’t know of any RE person who would deliberately tell kids anything else.
That’s an pretty uncharitable assumption.

 

[jeannetherese]

I have a question for those who prefer behind the screen specifically because it allows you to focus more on the fact that you are confessing directly to God.

Why do you believe that God has given us this sacrament in which we are called to confess to a human being? We can use the screen to momentarily forget about the fact that there is a person on the other side, but God has established this sacrament in a particular way for a reason. We’re not allowed to confess by phone, by letter or by internet. We must confess in person, to a human being. It just seems that using a screen for the purpose of blocking out that reality is circumventing the purpose of confession. I think that the human element in confession is critically important. Please note, I’m not criticizing the use of a confessional or a screen at all, I’m just wondering about this specific reason for preferring a screen.

As I read this, My thought was that the human being is this case acts in personal Christi. If just being human were the issue, friends could serve as my confessors. Perhaps the screen helps people to focus upon the priest as persona Christi.
I’m not sure that this answers your question, but I’m trying to differentiate between any old person as a confessor and our priests in the confessional.
May God bless you.
jt

 

[graciew]

I must have been 10 years old when I used a confessional ,with the screen for anonymous confession for the last time.
I havent seen any since then ( and that is many many years.ago)nor heard anyone would request it til today.
So it seems.we have been comfortable face to face for years.

 

[Isca]

We have a room in the church, which is beautifully decorated outside with painted flowers and ‘Sacrament of Reconciliation’ written around the lilac arched door.

When you knock on the door and walk in, our (only) priest calls out a welcome and if you want to stay right there, there is a curtain around the corner he sits in so you don’t actually see him. However, if you go into the room, the rest of the curtain is pulled back and you sit face-to-face.

I wouldn’t dream of sitting behind a curtain, although as a new Catholic who is middle-aged, I had some embarrassing things to confess to him from the start. I’ve found it to be a good chance to be open and honest with someone I both like and respect, and I get excellent advice from him before the Absolution. We are a similar age, which helps me in a way.

 

[Melissa]

I have tried face to face confession and it was awkward. I prefer the screen and have received excellent advice from priests using that method. If I go to my own parish for confession, the priest would know my voice anyway since I’ve done a lot of volunteer work at the parish.
I suspect that people who are more introverted prefer the screen.

You may be onto something there. I am an absolute introvert (the Myers-Briggs, my “I” is so strongly expressed that I probably didn’t answer a single question in an extrovert way). I prefer the screen … somehow for me it’s also easier to see the priest as in persona Christi, precisely because I can’t see him so well.

 

[Holly3278]

It often depends on who the priest is that I am confessing to as to whether or not I go face to face or anonymously. I pretty much always go face to face with my spiritual director. I find that going to Confession face to face is more humbling. Plus, it’s easier on my knees and breathing.

 

[smichhertz]

I generally speaking go face to face. I used to a big time “behind the screen” guy until I talked with a very orthodox priest who used to not even allow face to face confessions. He then changed his mind when he was put in a situation where he had to do it. He saw how those who went face to face were much more quickly able to beat their sins and advance in the spiritual life.

Since his observation, I started to give it a try and I have to be honest, I definitely have done MUCH better since switching.

 

[Sarcelle]

I’m not sure if I have a preference…but, face-to-face poses no problem to me.

If as Catholics we believe priests are acting in the person of Christ, we shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed, because it’s not the man we are confessing to, but to Christ in person.

Even if in a confessional, are we hiding from Jesus? No. We can’t. As God he sees all…remeber Nathanael in john 1:45-51 and how Jesus saw him under the fig tree?

This.

When I confess I tell myself that the priest is Christ acting through the priest.

I think Christ told the same thing to Saint Faustina, to act as if the priest had Christ acting through him.

 

[JimG]

Some posters have mentioned a ‘fear of the confessional box.’ I grew up with the confessional box and never encountered such a thing. Indeed the lines were quite long and I never heard anyone, adult or child, express any fear.

Some time ago, though, I was in a conversation with two younger guys, one of them non-Catholic, who had grown up in an era when face to face confession was all that was available. They were both talking about their teenage years when the topic of confession had come up. “I can’t imagine you confessing your sins to a priest,” the non-catholic said, “what did you tell him?”

“Well, not my real sins, for sure,” the Catholic guy responded. “I knew those priests too well!”

 

[pianistclare]

Well, if a person is going to lie in the confessional, that’s a whole different problem.
that has little to do with which way you go.

 

[JimG]

Well, if a person is going to lie in the confessional, that’s a whole different problem.
that has little to do with which way you go.

My impression was that he went to confession with his family because he was expected to. He just was not willing to tell his actual sins to someone he knew, so he made up something. I’m thinking the problem for him might have been alleviated if anonymous confession had been available. Believe me, some teenage boys prefer total anonymity when confessing. At least they did then. Maybe they are different now.

 

[pianistclare]

My impression was that he went to confession with his family because he was expected to. He just was not willing to tell his actual sins to someone he knew, so he made up something. I’m thinking the problem for him might have been alleviated if anonymous confession had been available. Believe me, some teenage boys prefer total anonymity when confessing. At least they did then. Maybe they are different now.

HA! That’s certainly food for thought. We’re lucky if we can get the teens to go to confession at all!
Peace.

 

[MarianCatholic]

to me it is simple, here we dont have those, so its either face to face or nothing.

Make your priest aware of the fact that its our right to confess anonymously and that you would really appreciate that this right are met by the church as well.
If he for some reason ignores you, I would fill out an complaint to your bishop about your concern. If He answers the same as the priest then you can contact a department of the church that looks after that the faithful gets what they are entitled to (don’t remember their name).
Then you will get the confessionals that people like so much.

Abuses like this is so sad and common unfortunately
I pray that it get sorted out without the need of involving all of the parties.

Yours in The Heart of Mary and Jesus

• MarianCatholic

 

[jeannetherese]

I must have been 10 years old when I used a confessional ,with the screen for anonymous confession for the last time.
I havent seen any since then ( and that is many many years.ago)nor heard anyone would request it til today.
So it seems.we have been comfortable face to face for years.

I’m not sure that the fact that one hasn’t seen confessionals nor heard anyone request them necessarily means that their might not be a longing for them as an a readily available option.
Perhaps it might signify deference to the choice of the priest to remove the confessional.
When I found the confessionals at my church transformed into storage units, the idea of complaining to my priest never crossed my mind.
I just went to a church where they were still available for confession. At my church with the confessional storage closets, confession is offered for a half an hour per week. (and by appointment)
My church which uses confessionals offers confession before every Mass and throughout Masses on Sundays, Holydays, First Fridays and First Saturdays. Mass is offered 10 times per week at varying times. One may go to confession as early as prior to 6: 30 A.M Mass (twice weekly) and as late as during the 7:30 pm Mass (on first Fridays) .
On Sunday, it is normal for people to be lined up for confession throughout Mass up until communion and father often returns to the confessional after Mass is ended.

 

[pianistclare]

I’m not sure that the fact that one hasn’t seen confessionals nor heard anyone request them necessarily means that their might not be a longing for them as an a readily available option.
Perhaps it might signify deference to the choice of the priest to remove the confessional.
When I found the confessionals at my church transformed into storage units, the idea of complaining to my priest never crossed my mind.
I just went to a church where they were still available for confession. At my church with the confessional storage closets, confession is offered for a half an hour per week. (and by appointment)
My church which uses confessionals offers confession before every Mass and throughout Masses on Sundays, Holydays, First Fridays and First Saturdays. Mass is offered 10 times per week at varying times. One may go to confession as early as prior to 6: 30 A.M Mass (twice weekly) and as late as during the 7:30 pm Mass (on first Fridays) .
On Sunday, it is normal for people to be lined up for confession throughout Mass up until communion and father often returns to the confessional after Mass is ended.

At my old parish, the confessionals were found to have been built with asbestos, so they were cleaned out y professionals and designated as lector closets for their nametags and things.
Then the parish built 2 confession rooms which give the option of face to face or stay behind the screen.
One’s not better than the other, and I have heard stories both ways regarding people that are afraid to see the priest, and other who are afraid of the solitude and darkness of a small confessional box. Ours are not small anymore, so at last that element (excuse) is gone, thankfully. But people always have a choice.

 

[babochka]

I guess part of it for me is that I’ve never really considered behind-the-screen to be anonymous. If I to go confession in a place where I am known, I assume the priest has a pretty good idea who I am, even behind a screen. If I want anonymous confession, I’ll go to a parish where I am not known, and it that case, it doesn’t matter if I’m behind a screen or face-to-face. I’m still anonymous to that priest.

I think this is so individual. Somebody speculated that introverts prefer behind-the-screen. I am strongly introverted, but I prefer face-to-face with a priest that I know well. I don’t like to talk to people that I don’t know. If I have to go to confession to a strange priest, I have to talk myself into it, while standing in line and I would never call and make an appointment. With my regular confessor, I don’t mind calling for an appointment, or even asking him for confession if we both happen to be at the same place at the same time. Others simply prefer the way that learned first, because it is familiar and comfortable.

 

[graciew]

I’m not sure that the fact that one hasn’t seen confessionals nor heard anyone request them necessarily means that their might not be a longing for them )

Yes , jeannetherese,you are right It is no indicator , I do not know.
And there are plenty with confessionals , if screens are used in others , I do not know either.

 

[MonjaFutura]

My parish is so small that it isn’t anonymous at all. I confessed behind the screen last time, like I normally do, and the priest knew it was me and used my name when we said goodbye . Luckily, he is a very nice priest and not judgmental at all so I didn’t have to worry about him knowing.