Why does communion make everyone so miserable

[TheRealJuliane]

I often have to fight tears after communion.

I understand that many people are overwhelmed with JOY but I am often just overwhelmed.

Christ died and suffered for ME. I suppose this should flood me with joy but I’m still processing. I still can’t believe it. Why ME? I’m a horrible, miserable, ungrateful human being. Why on EARTH did HE suffer for ME?

It’s just not something that I can wrap my head around.

I am so sorry that my shock and sorrow is causing you problems. I just can’t fake a smile when my soul, heart and mind is bowed down before God.

Me, too. I do not smile because I am asking Jesus to flood me with His presence and wipe my stained soul clean as His Body is absorbed by my system.

I can answer your question, though, nickybr38.

It’s because he loves you THAT MUCH.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I had many times especially early on. Though I found myself having to come back literally each week for one sin or another, and sometimes it was for the same one as the week before. ** Eventually I felt discouraged from even trying anymore.
**
In any case, as some people said I will admit that I’d softly cry in silence during the Transubstantiation. Back then I did understand the importance of the Eucharist and it actually provided me peace when I would attend adoration. It really is a wonderful gift, it is simply my own faults that let jealousy of others, misery of self, and discouragement from receiving confession get between that gift.

Satan got to you, eh? Put one foot in front of the other, and get back to confession. Jesus is waiting for you. Patiently, but you don’t want to put Him off forever.

 

[nickybr38]

Me, too. I do not smile because I am asking Jesus to flood me with His presence and wipe my stained soul clean as His Body is absorbed by my system.

I can answer your question, though, nickybr38.

It’s because he loves you THAT MUCH.

How do we comprehend that kind of love? I don’t know about you, but I am not worthy. Not nearly.

I feel like the tax collector who falls down and prays: Lord, have mercy. And that’s all I have in me to say.

 

[Luvtosew]

No i dont think its about awe or respect I think where im from its like just expected to act that way in church.

mass equals depression.

i just wish it could be a happier occasion.

and im totally no expert in anything but I think Jesus would want communion to be joyous and I think He’d love to see more people smile.
just my opinion though.

also littlesoilder it is probably soloem music it just sounds depressing thats why i called it funeral music lol

Albany
XX

Oh I agree with you, its a joyful occasion, he did what he came to do, save us, and we should rejoice because now we have eternal life, hope and joy.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

How do we comprehend that kind of love? I don’t know about you, but I am not worthy. Not nearly.

I feel like the tax collector who falls down and prays: Lord, have mercy. And that’s all I have in me to say.

I know. I am the same. Sometimes, I can barely raise my head and look at the crucifix at Mass. I remember the day when I truly recognized that Jesus died for ME, for MY SINS, that I am still committing, and I just sobbed. Can still sob about it. I am doing my best and it’s still not enough. It never will be enough. But He loves us.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

You know, some people seem to rely an awful lot on appearances. I think that’s somewhat naive and dangerous.

Because appearances can be very deceitful. And let’s face it, not all of us are really that skilled at interpreting the ‘mind and heart’ of another person.

Suppose that you, for example, are the kind of jovial soul who wears his or her heart ‘on one’s sleeve’. You smile readily when you’re pleased; you frown when you’re angry.

And when you look at other people unconsciously you expect THEM to mirror you. If you happen to be in a happy mood, anybody who isn’t smiling and humming or whatever you do looks, . . .not just ‘not happy’ but downright GLUM and miserable.

Maybe you’re the kind of lucky person (often but not always young) who hasn’t really faced all that much in life. You may have enough to eat well, be able to do pretty much what you want to do, life in short looks good to you.

And if you see somebody who might look ‘down’, right away comes the judgement of this person as a sourpuss, a killjoy, somebody who looks on Church as a boring chore.

When in fact, this person might simply be working two jobs, have an invalid mother, have had to quit school, might have a toothache but not have the money for a dentist yet, etc. etc. etc. All plenty of reasons not to be bright and smiling, but FAR from that person being miserable BECAUSE of Church, or communion.

Far too many assumptions here on the part of many and a pretty judgmental attitude all in all that others are mean, miserable grumps and religion makes them so.

 

[LittleSoldier]

You should see me after Confession. Haha. It’s even worse. That’s just how I approach God since my conversion. I’m not ready for the celebrating yet. I’m still in the conviction and contrition part of my journey (after two years!!!).

Everyone approaches God differently. Sometimes I think those who seem blissfully content and joyful are doubly blessed and other times I think they just aren’t getting it but no matter what I have no right to judge them or their hearts so I try to chase all wondering away!

I practically sob during Confession. People tell me how free and happy I’ll feel afterwards. Well, I don’t. I feel awful. And then I forget what my penance is. People tell me that nobody can make a priest blink during Confession - no matter how bad their sin is. I not only made the priest blink but he spent ten minutes raking me over the coals while I was sitting there sobbing, knowing he was right about everything he said.

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I reverted. I think it’s been at least 15 years. And I’m still at that contrition, “I’m a horrible sinner” stage, which makes me think it isn’t a stage at all. I AM a horrible sinner.

I cry in Confession because I loathe myself and what I’ve done and still have not been able to forgive myself for sins confessed ten times. Then I’m told that if I can’t forgive myself I am sinning again because I’m putting myself above God, which is the sin of pride. So I cry some more.

I cry when I receive the Eucharist for joy and sadness at the same time.

I cry when I can’t go to Mass and don’t even know why.

I cry when I long for God and want to be with Him.

I cry and cry and cry.

Maybe it’s me. But I think you’re on to something when you say that people who are blissfully content aren’t getting it. I’ve been thinking the same thing although I can’t describe what I think. It just seems that there’s something wrong. Is obedience and love for God supposed to make us happy? Is that how we determine whether a church is the true Church of God? Should I kneel down and thank God when someone persecutes the Church in front of me and then says “I don’t want to discuss it” as soon as I open my mouth to defend her? It just seems that happiness isn’t the key, at least for me. It’s something else. Obedience or charity or something that I can’t put my finger on.

Maybe when I find the key I’ll find the happiness. Or maybe I’ll have to wait until I die.

I am sure of one thing. I am tired of crying.:bighanky:

 

[LittleSoldier]

Is it about the music? Funeral dirge to one may just be elevator music to another?

I think my parish, personally, only ever plays three communion songs, one of which is Table of Plenty.

I guess it was about the music but it’s changed.

I’m so tired now that I can’t think or help or learn.

 

[LittleSoldier]

How do we comprehend that kind of love? I don’t know about you, but I am not worthy. Not nearly.

I feel like the tax collector who falls down and prays: Lord, have mercy. And that’s all I have in me to say.

This may sound ridiculous and stupid but I really don’t feel worthy enough to put one foot into church and if I am there I should be at the back with ashes (literally) smeared all over my face. And ripped clothes. And I should be on my face on the floor. Really. That is GOD up there in the tabernacle and in the monstrance and in the Host. God. And here I am like some sort of centipede that deserves to be trampled on in the House of God? What has ever given me the idea that I deserve to be allowed into church?

I know that Jesus died for us, for me. I know He wants me there. But He’s GOD and I’m so far below Him. I know He loves me and that He told us to receive His Body and Blood. I know that I should obey Him. I know I should be there at Mass and receive the Eucharist.

Oh gee, I’m gonna go off and think about this for awhile.

 

[odile53]

LittleSoldier, I can only share this with you: For a short time I was away from the sacraments (probably less than six months.) When I returned to the Sacrament of Penance, I shared how horrible I felt about my sins with the priest, and he gave me the best advice that I have ever heard: “Your sins are absolved. God forgives you. You must learn to forgive yourself.” He explained that what that meant was that in gratitude for the great grace of absolution, I needed to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get on with the business of making affirmative changes to amend my life.

Occasionally, I will get teary eyed at Mass, or after confession, but nowadays, it’s tears of gratitude.

 

[Raphaelite]

I don’t sense misery but certainly a somber, serious attitude on the part of most receiving the Eucharist. I think this is in the spirit of the sacrifice of the mass in which our Lord gives everything for us. I think skipping up to the altar with joy would indicate a complete lack of understanding. I mean no offense but some act as though they are taking a pep pill.

 

[InspiritCarol]

…But 90 odd percent of parishioners at my church are elderly and im one of the few young ones who go. …

It’s the same here.

The excuses I get from their children are deplorable.

I’m tired of hearing them (as music director; people go out of their way to make excuses to me).

The old people are probably heartbroken that their children have all chosen the way of the world.

Maybe I should start playing funeral music for them too. :sad_yes:

 

[Albany]

I practically sob during Confession. People tell me how free and happy I’ll feel afterwards. Well, I don’t. I feel awful. And then I forget what my penance is. People tell me that nobody can make a priest blink during Confession - no matter how bad their sin is. I not only made the priest blink but he spent ten minutes raking me over the coals while I was sitting there sobbing, knowing he was right about everything he said.

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I reverted. I think it’s been at least 15 years. And I’m still at that contrition, “I’m a horrible sinner” stage, which makes me think it isn’t a stage at all. I AM a horrible sinner.

I cry in Confession because I loathe myself and what I’ve done and still have not been able to forgive myself for sins confessed ten times. Then I’m told that if I can’t forgive myself I am sinning again because I’m putting myself above God, which is the sin of pride. So I cry some more.

I cry when I receive the Eucharist for joy and sadness at the same time.

I cry when I can’t go to Mass and don’t even know why.

I cry when I long for God and want to be with Him.

I cry and cry and cry.

Maybe it’s me. But I think you’re on to something when you say that people who are blissfully content aren’t getting it. I’ve been thinking the same thing although I can’t describe what I think. It just seems that there’s something wrong. Is obedience and love for God supposed to make us happy? Is that how we determine whether a church is the true Church of God? Should I kneel down and thank God when someone persecutes the Church in front of me and then says “I don’t want to discuss it” as soon as I open my mouth to defend her? It just seems that happiness isn’t the key, at least for me. It’s something else. Obedience or charity or something that I can’t put my finger on.

Maybe when I find the key I’ll find the happiness. Or maybe I’ll have to wait until I die.

I am sure of one thing. I am tired of crying.:bighanky:

hey toysoilder i hope you find happiness.

I might be a moany girl about the scottish masses but one thing the scottish priests are amazing at is confession. I went back a few weeks ago after a two year break and the priest was great. and i felt, i dont know how i felt, but it felt good and close to Jesus.
Just a shame it doesn’t last forever but i was worried about going to confession but i’ll def be going regularly now.
I went regularly before to another priest who was also great but he left so i just stopped going.
Any priest ive gone to has been a great confessor.

Anyway back to communion, i hope you do evedntually find joy in it toysoilder

And inspiritcarol i beg you please dont play funeral music. play a joyous tune just do it like out of nowhere and see how everyone reacts, even the priest, then come into forum and tell us about it.
it would be great research. please please please.
id do it but dont play instrument and im tone death lol

Albany
xxx

 

[Irishgal49]

It’s only when one has committed a mortal sin that one cannot receive the Eucharist. It’s best to not sin at all but we do.

If people receiving the Eucharist feeds one’s depression one should try to find out why and take measures to stop the depression - measures that don’t go against Church teaching. We’re supposed to attend Mass. If a Mass feeds one’s depression it is the responsibility of the person to find out what is going on in his/her mind and fix it and then get back to Mass.

Believe me, I understand as I struggle with the same problem and spoke to my priest about it. He told me that I should attend Mass when I could and receive the Eucharist but that it was my responsibility to find out why I felt depressed at Mass and if I did not do so I would be committing a grave act by not attending. I still don’t have the complete answer but I am surely trying to find it. And now when I am able to attend Mass (there are physical problems that make it difficult to attend every week) I am filled with joy when I receive the Eucharist.

I thought I was the only person in the world who became depressed at Mass!

No you are not the only one. Since returning to the Church last June I’m feeling that maybe I’m not cut out to be a Catholic. All I do is struggle and feel horrible. I’m not sure why I go other than I know I am supposed to. I keep going and working with priests but I find it impossible to make friends, they seem like they are “too good” to hang out with those who are struggling. To check myself I look around, I’ve always easily made friends with people and I’m very giving, doing little things for people for no reason, being a giving friend not just asking for myself and yet when it comes to church, no friends. People just make assumptions and judgements. I do have one close friend and I thank God for her not acting the way the others act.

I ask myself why I just don’t go back to the Protestant Church? I was a Methodist clergy for 5 years, why be Catholic? Because I really feel the fullness of salvation is in the Catholic faith–the fullness of grace is here, but I struggle with how my faith increases my OCD, depression, and anxiety. It’s not always “fixable” either. Maybe it’s my cross and I just have to keep offering it up. In terms of what He did for me, it’s actually small.

 

[Scoobyshme]

No you are not the only one. Since returning to the Church last June I’m feeling that maybe I’m not cut out to be a Catholic. All I do is struggle and feel horrible. I’m not sure why I go other than I know I am supposed to. I keep going and working with priests but I find it impossible to make friends, they seem like they are “too good” to hang out with those who are struggling. To check myself I look around, I’ve always easily made friends with people and I’m very giving, doing little things for people for no reason, being a giving friend not just asking for myself and yet when it comes to church, no friends. People just make assumptions and judgements. I do have one close friend and I thank God for her not acting the way the others act.

I ask myself why I just don’t go back to the Protestant Church? I was a Methodist clergy for 5 years, why be Catholic? Because I really feel the fullness of salvation is in the Catholic faith–the fullness of grace is here, but I struggle with how my faith increases my OCD, depression, and anxiety. It’s not always “fixable” either. Maybe it’s my cross and I just have to keep offering it up. In terms of what He did for me, it’s actually small.

IrishGal, hi. I might offer a couple of thoughts, if you don’t mind.

When we go to Mass, etc., and we feel interior consolations (the “good feeling!”), that’s God’s gift to us. It’s a special grace. Kind of a fire starter, if you will.

When we really don’t feel like going to Mass, and it’s a drudgery, and we do it anyway, that’s our gift to God!

I remember many years ago, when I was young, I had a cousin who was a baby, just about to walk. I would take her hands and hold her hands and help her make steps. Eventually, she could almost make the steps by herself, and I would let go of her hands, ready to catch her if she fell. She learned to walk that way. I think God does that with us, too. When we’re getting the interior consolations, that’s God holding our hands. When we’re not, but we’re doing His will anyway (and going to Mass certainly is His will!), then we’re walking on our own.

Another story, for those who suffer and wonder why… A young man was sent from the seminary for a brief field trip to learn gold smithing from an old goldsmith. The old man would put the gold ore into a crucible and turn the heat up way high, till the gold melted. Then, he would pour it into another crucible and heat it high again. The impurities would float to the top and he would skim them off and throw them away. In this way, he was purifying the gold. Curious, the young man asked the old goldsmith how he knew when the gold was done, i.e., when he had finished purifying it. The old goldsmith told him that when he could look into the molten gold and clearly see his own reflection, it was done.

God does the same with us, I believe.

So, hang in there. God gives us everything we need for our salvation, including purifying us. When we reach heaven, it will all make sense.

 

[Luvtosew]

No you are not the only one. Since returning to the Church last June I’m feeling that maybe I’m not cut out to be a Catholic. All I do is struggle and feel horrible. I’m not sure why I go other than I know I am supposed to. I keep going and working with priests but I find it impossible to make friends, they seem like they are “too good” to hang out with those who are struggling. To check myself I look around, I’ve always easily made friends with people and I’m very giving, doing little things for people for no reason, being a giving friend not just asking for myself and yet when it comes to church, no friends. People just make assumptions and judgements. I do have one close friend and I thank God for her not acting the way the others act.

I ask myself why I just don’t go back to the Protestant Church? I was a Methodist clergy for 5 years, why be Catholic? Because I really feel the fullness of salvation is in the Catholic faith–the fullness of grace is here, but I struggle with how my faith increases my OCD, depression, and anxiety. It’s not always “fixable” either. Maybe it’s my cross and I just have to keep offering it up. In terms of what He did for me, it’s actually small.

I’m sorry but please remember Jesus said not to worry or be anxious, we are to rest in him. The fullness of salvation is what Jesus did at Calvary for us, that he loves us that much. And I find it sad that some people think they are too good, arrogance and pride are terrible sins. Who wants to be friends with those type of people anyway. When Jesus said to carry your cross and follow him, he didn’t mean for it to weary a person down, but to follow the Lord is to live in joy, we will all have our problems , but then we rely on the Lord even more when those trials come. Oh and remember we are all sinners and that is the reason Jesus came and gave his life for us, we will never be perfect. So try and relax and be happy in the Lord.

 

[nickybr38]

I practically sob during Confession. People tell me how free and happy I’ll feel afterwards. Well, I don’t. I feel awful. And then I forget what my penance is. People tell me that nobody can make a priest blink during Confession - no matter how bad their sin is. I not only made the priest blink but he spent ten minutes raking me over the coals while I was sitting there sobbing, knowing he was right about everything he said.

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I reverted. I think it’s been at least 15 years. And I’m still at that contrition, “I’m a horrible sinner” stage, which makes me think it isn’t a stage at all. I AM a horrible sinner.

I cry in Confession because I loathe myself and what I’ve done and still have not been able to forgive myself for sins confessed ten times. Then I’m told that if I can’t forgive myself I am sinning again because I’m putting myself above God, which is the sin of pride. So I cry some more.

I cry when I receive the Eucharist for joy and sadness at the same time.

I cry when I can’t go to Mass and don’t even know why.

I cry when I long for God and want to be with Him.

I cry and cry and cry.

Maybe it’s me. But I think you’re on to something when you say that people who are blissfully content aren’t getting it. I’ve been thinking the same thing although I can’t describe what I think. It just seems that there’s something wrong. Is obedience and love for God supposed to make us happy? Is that how we determine whether a church is the true Church of God? Should I kneel down and thank God when someone persecutes the Church in front of me and then says “I don’t want to discuss it” as soon as I open my mouth to defend her? It just seems that happiness isn’t the key, at least for me. It’s something else. Obedience or charity or something that I can’t put my finger on.

Maybe when I find the key I’ll find the happiness. Or maybe I’ll have to wait until I die.

I am sure of one thing. I am tired of crying.:bighanky:

God bless you. You are NOT alone in your feelings. You really aren’t the only one. Please don’t be discouraged when you hear stories of people and their joy. I think some of us just aren’t meant to feel that. We are given different gifts.

Sometimes I think I have been given SO much humility now because I had so much pride before and God has gifted me with enough humility to keep me from falling into pride again. Feeling as I do I will NEVER fall into pride. It’s just not possible. I am keenly aware of my sinful nature and how greatly I fail every single day. I know it so I can never fool myself into thinking ‘I’m okay’ again.

People hear this and they’re usually horrified by it but I see it as a gift. God has been good to me. I will continue to sob after confession, and I will continue to feel great, overwhelming sadness at Mass and I am fine with that.

Happiness comes after this life. It doesn’t have to come during.

 

[nickybr38]

hey toysoilder i hope you find happiness.

I might be a moany girl about the scottish masses but one thing the scottish priests are amazing at is confession. I went back a few weeks ago after a two year break and the priest was great. and i felt, i dont know how i felt, but it felt good and close to Jesus.
Just a shame it doesn’t last forever but i was worried about going to confession but i’ll def be going regularly now.
I went regularly before to another priest who was also great but he left so i just stopped going.
Any priest ive gone to has been a great confessor.

Anyway back to communion, i hope you do evedntually find joy in it toysoilder

And inspiritcarol i beg you please dont play funeral music. play a joyous tune just do it like out of nowhere and see how everyone reacts, even the priest, then come into forum and tell us about it.
it would be great research. please please please.
id do it but dont play instrument and im tone death lol

Albany
xxx

I really don’t understand your insistence of joyful music during Communion. I don’t mean to pick on your or anything but the moment when we receive Communion is kind of the height and summit of the Mass. Afterwards we can rejoice!!! Afterwards we can be joyful… but until then we are at the foot of the cross. We shouldn’t be dancing and singing with joy, how selfish!

Christ suffered.
Christ died.
Christ is presenting Himself to us.

I just don’t see Communion as the appropriate moment for happy clappy music. AFTER Communion my parish ALWAYS plays an upbeat happy song! It’s a wonderful way to END the Mass.

 

[Albany]

I really don’t understand your insistence of joyful music during Communion. I don’t mean to pick on your or anything but the moment when we receive Communion is kind of the height and summit of the Mass. Afterwards we can rejoice!!! Afterwards we can be joyful… but until then we are at the foot of the cross. We shouldn’t be dancing and singing with joy, how selfish!

Christ suffered.
Christ died.
Christ is presenting Himself to us.

I just don’t see Communion as the appropriate moment for happy clappy music. AFTER Communion my parish ALWAYS plays an upbeat happy song! It’s a wonderful way to END the Mass.

Hey Nicky,

Maybe I am selfish wanting to see people happy at mass and communion but I guess being selfish is just one of my many flaws.
How would you feel if you where a girl sitting in church week after week after week surrounded by oldies and depressing music and faces. The only happy thing about the mass is the Priest’s homily. If you lived my life you would want the same. But then again if I lived yours I’d probably think your way so that point doesn’t really make sense.
But anyway I am going to keep praying to Jesus for happy masses despite it making me selfish.

Axxx

 

[nickybr38]

Hey Nicky,

Maybe I am selfish wanting to see people happy at mass and communion but I guess being selfish is just one of my many flaws.
How would you feel if you where a girl sitting in church week after week after week surrounded by oldies and depressing music and faces. The only happy thing about the mass is the Priest’s homily. If you lived my life you would want the same. But then again if I lived yours I’d probably think your way so that point doesn’t really make sense.
But anyway I am going to keep praying to Jesus for happy masses despite it making me selfish.

Axxx

Honey, I attend a parish just like the one you describe. The parishioners are old. They like slow, dreadful music. They approach Christ with somber faces. It doesn’t bother me. I came from a young parish that had happy, folk music every single Sunday… I don’t miss it.

Of course, they DO end the Mass with a happy upbeat song every week but it isn’t the music I’m there for. I’m there for Christ.

Instead of looking around and being discouraged, perhaps you could look at all those weathered brothers and sisters and try to find something in them that you could learn from. Perhaps you admire the way this one kneels throughout Mass. How pious! How wonderful that they are echoing Scripture (every knee shall bow and every tongue confess!).

Perhaps you could learn from the absolute silence of that one. Who refuses even to greet his fellow parishioners. He is honoring God by being silent in the presence OF God.

I’m not saying that these people are acting appropriately but I’m saying you CAN find God in them and you can learn from them. They’ve been around much longer then you have and I daresay they probably have a thing or two to teach.