Why does communion make everyone so miserable

[englishredrose]

Hey all,

At all the churches were i live (scotland) whenever its time for communion they always play awful funeral music and everyone looks really depressed when they go for and come back from communion.
Its like its a sin to smile.
I don’t know whats going on with everyone I just wish church was a more happy occassion.
Sometimes i hate going, I know i shouldn’t say that but its true cause the whole mass is always so depressing.

How are the masses where you all are from??

Albany
xxx

I kind of know what you mean. But I have tried to think that they aren’t miserable as such but sheer just focusing on what they are doing. Something about being devote. But devote looks frightening serious its off putting. For me I still believe they can be happy and whilst some smile others look soooo threatening serious. But in our church music varies etc. I hate it too because it looks like an act because they are the same week in week out. Its not natural or something. More like a performance. I am glad I got to know a God that makes me happy and not a glum devotetee? though only recently got to know God like that recently though never been devote. too serious for me… that

 

[LittleSoldier]

LittleSoldier, I can only share this with you: For a short time I was away from the sacraments (probably less than six months.) When I returned to the Sacrament of Penance, I shared how horrible I felt about my sins with the priest, and he gave me the best advice that I have ever heard: “Your sins are absolved. God forgives you. You must learn to forgive yourself.” He explained that what that meant was that in gratitude for the great grace of absolution, I needed to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get on with the business of making affirmative changes to amend my life.

Occasionally, I will get teary eyed at Mass, or after confession, but nowadays, it’s tears of gratitude.

But I can’t forgive myself! All my life I have proved over and over that I am loathsome. I could post things I’ve done that would have people tell me I should be taken out somewhere and shot. Or worse. And I did them because deep down inside I hate myself because I know what an awful sinner I am. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s like it’s a contest almost. Do you want to know how bad I am? Well, I did this and this and this and people are horrified. I keep failing. I think I’ve been good once or twice in my entire life.

What a good person I am! I turned away a woman who was obviously very sick and she was telling me she was so hungry and it was obvious she wasn’t even thinking straight but I had to go to work, so I gave her the money I had and got into my car and drove away.

Fail. F- . Her teeth were falling out and she was a young woman. Very sick, very thin.

And that’s not the worst. I know the parable of the sheep and the goats. I’m a goat. When I turned that woman away I turned Jesus away.

And did I learn from my mistake? Nope.

“For I was hungry and you gave me not to eat.”

I am definitely not worthy to be in the House of God and from this point forward I will not set foot into it. I deserve hell and I think that’s where I am going. I am absolutely positive that I am not worthy to be with God. So why fight it?

 

[nickybr38]

But I can’t forgive myself! All my life I have proved over and over that I am loathsome. I could post things I’ve done that would have people tell me I should be taken out somewhere and shot. Or worse. And I did them because deep down inside I hate myself because I know what an awful sinner I am. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s like it’s a contest almost. Do you want to know how bad I am? Well, I did this and this and this and people are horrified. I keep failing. I think I’ve been good once or twice in my entire life.

What a good person I am! I turned away a woman who was obviously very sick and she was telling me she was so hungry and it was obvious she wasn’t even thinking straight but I had to go to work, so I gave her the money I had and got into my car and drove away.

Fail. F- . Her teeth were falling out and she was a young woman. Very sick, very thin.

And that’s not the worst. I know the parable of the sheep and the goats. I’m a goat. When I turned that woman away I turned Jesus away.

And did I learn from my mistake? Nope.

“For I was hungry and you gave me not to eat.”

I am definitely not worthy to be in the House of God and from this point forward I will not set foot into it. I deserve hell and I think that’s where I am going. I am absolutely positive that I am not worthy to be with God. So why fight it?

Because He chose you even while you turned Him away.

It’s never too late to start making better choices and He is always willing to forgive. No matter how many times you mess up.

Instead of focusing on the past, focus on today. Today you can make better choices. Today you can change tomorrow. So why give up when you can buckle up and do better?

 

[LittleSoldier]

Because He chose you even while you turned Him away.

It’s never too late to start making better choices and He is always willing to forgive. No matter how many times you mess up.

Instead of focusing on the past, focus on today. Today you can make better choices. Today you can change tomorrow. So why give up when you can buckle up and do better?

I deleted that post. I finally did something right. I just got a call from someone but I didn’t answer the phone and it went to my answering machine. It was a wrong number from a breast imaging clinic. The woman didn’t leave her number but I managed to figure it out from my caller ID menu (which I have never successfully done before). And I called her back to tell her she hadn’t reached the right person. She said it was very important.

Finally. I did something right. Maybe there is hope for me.

I’m sorry about that post. Sometimes I fall into despair. I shouldn’t post when I’m like that.

 

[nickybr38]

I deleted that post. I finally did something right. I just got a call from someone but I didn’t answer the phone and it went to my answering machine. It was a wrong number from a breast imaging clinic. The woman didn’t leave her number but I managed to figure it out from my caller ID menu (which I have never successfully done before). And I called her back to tell her she hadn’t reached the right person. She said it was very important.

Finally. I did something right. Maybe there is hope for me.

I’m sorry about that post. Sometimes I fall into despair. I shouldn’t post when I’m like that.

It’s all right. I will be praying for you.

 

[Cathryn]

The Catholic faith is the fullness of the truth. The suffering and death of the Lord is made present to us in an unbloody manner. If we acknowledge this fact we can see how our Communion isn’t just the Resurrection, it is much more. We still have to pick up our own cross and follow Him in faith, hope, and charity trust in the Lord.

St Paul says “We preach Christ crucified.” This is a stumbling block to some.

Just before the Our Father we frequently proclaim the Mystery of Faith and choice B is:

B – When we eat this Bread
and drink this Cup,
we proclaim your death, O Lord,
until you come again.

 

[LittleSoldier]

It’s all right. I will be praying for you.

Thank you so much. I think I need a lot of prayer.

 

[Nigel7]

One word - - Reverence.

You don’t go skipping on up to the Lord of the created universe, receive Him, and then walk away shouting and pumping your fist in the air. - disturbing others quiet reverence with your personal joy.

This is not Pastor Bob’s Faith Community Church. This is the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church where Christ/God truly, literally, physically resides - body, blood, soul, and divinity.
We approach and receive God with great reverence.

 

[LittleSoldier]

I kind of know what you mean. But I have tried to think that they aren’t miserable as such but sheer just focusing on what they are doing. Something about being devote. But devote looks frightening serious its off putting. For me I still believe they can be happy and whilst some smile others look soooo threatening serious. But in our church music varies etc. I hate it too because it looks like an act because they are the same week in week out. Its not natural or something. More like a performance. I am glad I got to know a God that makes me happy and not a glum devotetee? though only recently got to know God like that recently though never been devote. too serious for me… that

I think it’s sad that so many times it’s the same music over and over when there is so much good music that has been shut away for some reason. I can remember hymns from my childhood, in English, that are so beautiful, like *Daily, Daily Sing to Mary *and *Let all Things now Living *and so many more that are joyous. What about Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring? I haven’t heard that since I played it myself when my brother was Confirmed (and that was many, many years ago).

Why is this music not being played? I never hear it. Music is primitive (in a good way). It touches us somewhere very deep inside. It can and should be used to help us feel God’s love and ponder on how mere human beings have somehow managed to write melodies and lyrics that are poems and prayers at the same time.

At my church they used to sing Lamb of God, partially in English and partially in Latin. I loved it. I would find myself swaying to the music. It is a prayer and one that is said at every Mass but the addition of the music and the Latin transformed it into a more pious prayer; at least to me. I would close my eyes and sing (quietly so as to not offend people nearby):

Lamb of God,
You take away
the sins of
the world.
Miserere nobis.

Lamb of God,
You take away
the sins of
the world.
Miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei,
You take away
the sins of
the world.
Dona nobis pacem.

---

The last time I was at Mass it was not sung and I was so disappointed. I don’t know why it wasn’t sung; it’s been sung for years and now it’s gone - not the prayer, of course, but this way of saying/singing the prayer. I hope it is returned along with the hymns I haven’t heard for so many years.

.

 

[englishredrose]

Music is good in our church and we are getting used to a new hymn book. But we balked out on passion sunday when we saw the hymn, Jesus riding on a donkey to the tune of what shall we do with a drunken sailor. Even we didn’t dare face err the music to that one.

I wish people could feel as though they could smile in church. Not saying that want high fives every two seconds. Just that people could look like they want to be there rather than still in their beds or something. They can give a friendly smile to whoever passing without it being irreverent?

We have an issue that church is noisy before service. They want the priest to control it somehow. They don’t realise that only ones that can do anything is themselves. If they could see how jolly we all are in the vestry and in the choir. Jesus tells us to preach the good news and all we do is look glum when we are in the pew.

 

[odile53]

Music is good in our church and we are getting used to a new hymn book. But we balked out on passion sunday when we saw the hymn, Jesus riding on a donkey to the tune of what shall we do with a drunken sailor. Even we didn’t dare face err the music to that one.

Yikes! The tune “what shall we do with a drunken sailor” sung in church would make me collapse into hiccoughs of laughter, even if it meant a few more years tacked on in purgatory!

There’d be at least one hysterically laughing person in your church if I ever heard that song!

To the original poster: Read carefully my signature line. Then go get yourself a copy of St. Teresa’s Interior Castle.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

No i dont think its about awe or respect I think where im from its like just expected to act that way in church.

mass equals depression.

Seriously, where do you live? LOL

 

[Albany]

Seriously, where do you live? LOL

I live in Scotland. Its a great place to live but not great for religion.

I hope mass is cheerier tomorrow but I doubt it.

Albany
XXX

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I live in Scotland. Its a great place to live but not great for religion.

I hope mass is cheerier tomorrow but I doubt it.

Albany
XXX

I’m in Scotland too, that’s why I asked.

I’ve experienced dull music that is supposed to be inspiring I guess, and that can be depressing, you are right. But there are wonderful examples of good music that is appropriate for mass. For example, at the cathedral in Edinburgh and our FSSP parish. The mood is reverent but definitely not depressing.

I think that Scotland is actually a good place for religion. It takes guts to be Catholic these days, so the church is small but vibrant, faithful and full of joy. This is my experience

 

[jannes]

Iam a Scots Canadian.The music being used in Ontario Churches is almost unsingable by the congregation even the priests struggle with it,but what can you do ?I remember the hymns when I grew up in Dumbarton Scotland could be heard two streets away beautiful inspiring music what happened ?who do you complain to ? canyou complain.We spend winterrs in Florida and their hymns are fantastic beautiful lyrics and tunes everone can really get their lungs going so it must be a regional choice

 

[the_phoenix]

I practically sob during Confession. People tell me how free and happy I’ll feel afterwards. Well, I don’t. I feel awful. And then I forget what my penance is. People tell me that nobody can make a priest blink during Confession - no matter how bad their sin is. I not only made the priest blink but he spent ten minutes raking me over the coals while I was sitting there sobbing, knowing he was right about everything he said.

I’m not sure how long it’s been since I reverted. I think it’s been at least 15 years. And I’m still at that contrition, “I’m a horrible sinner” stage, which makes me think it isn’t a stage at all. I AM a horrible sinner.

I cry in Confession because I loathe myself and what I’ve done and still have not been able to forgive myself for sins confessed ten times. Then I’m told that if I can’t forgive myself I am sinning again because I’m putting myself above God, which is the sin of pride. So I cry some more.

I cry when I receive the Eucharist for joy and sadness at the same time.

I cry when I can’t go to Mass and don’t even know why.

I cry when I long for God and want to be with Him.

I cry and cry and cry.

Maybe it’s me. But I think you’re on to something when you say that people who are blissfully content aren’t getting it. I’ve been thinking the same thing although I can’t describe what I think. It just seems that there’s something wrong. Is obedience and love for God supposed to make us happy? Is that how we determine whether a church is the true Church of God? Should I kneel down and thank God when someone persecutes the Church in front of me and then says “I don’t want to discuss it” as soon as I open my mouth to defend her? It just seems that happiness isn’t the key, at least for me. It’s something else. Obedience or charity or something that I can’t put my finger on.

Maybe when I find the key I’ll find the happiness. Or maybe I’ll have to wait until I die.

I am sure of one thing. I am tired of crying.:bighanky:

“Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.”

~~ Matthew 5:4

 

[the_phoenix]

I kind of know what you mean. But I have tried to think that they aren’t miserable as such but sheer just focusing on what they are doing. Something about being devote. But devote looks frightening serious its off putting. For me I still believe they can be happy and whilst some smile others look soooo threatening serious. But in our church music varies etc. I hate it too because it looks like an act because they are the same week in week out. Its not natural or something. More like a performance. I am glad I got to know a God that makes me happy and not a glum devotetee? though only recently got to know God like that recently though never been devote. too serious for me… that

You mean like Blessed Jacinta Marto, one of the three shepherd children who saw Our Lady of Fatima?



Or maybe Blessed Francisco Marto, another of the Fatima visionaries?

http://www.ewtn.com/fatima/images/francisco_3inch.jpg

These were people whom the Blessed Virgin Mary promised she would take to Heaven soon.

…
…
…

 

[englishredrose]

neither I think because people today have reason to be happy. They are happy when they are talking to friends before and after service. Or the ones who only talk after the service.

I was all bent not to cry in the sermon today. Though thankfully it was short because of a baptism. More to do with where I am at, at the moment. But I am well hidden in the choir and I think I kept it very well hidden even with vicars’ wife at my one side… But managed to be smiley etc when facing people etc.

Like an earlier poster had suggested people are serious because they have been taught to be that way. Personally as I have said before it riles me if I give thought to it. Mass, Communion etc is a happy time. We are celebrating. We are formally celebrating but we are celebrating. Why do folk have to put on their oh so serious face? And can’t smile at you when you are walking back from communion. Some will and some wont. Even though I hid my tears from the vicar’s wife etc I was happy enough to chat and join in the fun as it happend. Never a dull moment in our choir. The people who want to be oh so serious shout loud enough how they want it etc but don’t stop to listen to how other people may want it. Thankfully with the current priest life in the vestry is livelly too before the service. He serious enough but can afford you a smile etc. And yes , now the priest does know or will do when he gets email but he knows where I am at anyway.

But the last thing I want personally is a church full of people who think they can’t inch a smile on their face and when you are feeling wretched you can give them a smile but they just glare back in that kind of well I would smile but I don’t look on them half apologetically. Its not a sin to smile through out the service and why why why people think so - apart from giving of the peace. I am so glad I sing and serve where we can share a joke and a smile etc…

sorry rant over: D

 

[Cathryn]

neither I think because people today have reason to be happy. They are happy when they are talking to friends before and after service. Or the ones who only talk after the service.

I was all bent not to cry in the sermon today. Though thankfully it was short because of a baptism. More to do with where I am at, at the moment. But I am well hidden in the choir and I think I kept it very well hidden even with vicars’ wife at my one side… But managed to be smiley etc when facing people etc.

Like an earlier poster had suggested people are serious because they have been taught to be that way. Personally as I have said before it riles me if I give thought to it. Mass, Communion etc is a happy time. We are celebrating. We are formally celebrating but we are celebrating. Why do folk have to put on their oh so serious face? And can’t smile at you when you are walking back from communion. Some will and some wont. Even though I hid my tears from the vicar’s wife etc I was happy enough to chat and join in the fun as it happend. Never a dull moment in our choir. The people who want to be oh so serious shout loud enough how they want it etc but don’t stop to listen to how other people may want it. Thankfully with the current priest life in the vestry is livelly too before the service. He serious enough but can afford you a smile etc. And yes , now the priest does know or will do when he gets email but he knows where I am at anyway.

But the last thing I want personally is a church full of people who think they can’t inch a smile on their face and when you are feeling wretched you can give them a smile but they just glare back in that kind of well I would smile but I don’t look on them half apologetically. Its not a sin to smile through out the service and why why why people think so - apart from giving of the peace. I am so glad I sing and serve where we can share a joke and a smile etc…

sorry rant over: D

It is the Sacrifice of the Mass. By re-enacting the Last Supper, Calvary is made present for us in an un-bloody manner. It is a sacrifice. The priest, in persona Christi, is both victim and priest in the Sacrifice of the Mass. This is serious.

 

[Cathryn]

But the last thing I want personally is a church full of people who think they can’t inch a smile on their face and when you are feeling wretched you can give them a smile but they just glare back in that kind of well I would smile but I don’t look on them half apologetically. Its not a sin to smile through out the service and why why why people think so - apart from giving of the peace. I am so glad I sing and serve where we can share a joke and a smile etc…

sorry rant over: D

From the General Instructions of the Roman Missal:

The Rite of Peace

1. There follows the Rite of Peace, by which the Church entreats peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.

As for the actual sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by the Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. However, it is appropriate that each person, **in a sober manner, **offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest.

Sober manner during the sign of peace is important. We are at the one and only Sacrifice of Jesus Christ.