Why does God create the "loser"?

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Speaking from afar, it seems there are archetypes of people that are examples of how to/how not to behave, or archetypes of suffering or Christian decorum(for example, the poor- always an example of suffering and counting your blessings, etc). So what about the loser? The guy/woman who cannot make a living, can’t find a wife/husband, cannot establish himself, and cannot even be a good Christian.

The one who tries but fails? And then, pathetically, tries again?

What kind of example can this person be? What can he offer from a Christian perspective? What worth does he have?

People in this middle- like me, for example- are constantly in angst. We are selfish sometimes, and incredibly giving sometimes. We are patient, and then we are impatient like children. We feel our ship still has to come in, but then wonder after the years and tragedies pass, if that is just a pipe dream.

And we pray and fail at that too, and wonder if our faith isn’t good enough or if God has completely forgotten us.

It is its own kind of hell I think. We’ve smelled the peach, but could not eat it. Maybe its pride? Maybe we are the worst examples of pride? Just letting my mind run wild here…and I’m lonely.
 
Norm640 said:
Speaking from afar, it seems there are archetypes of people that are examples of how to/how not to behave, or archetypes of suffering or Christian decorum(for example, the poor- always an example of suffering and counting your blessings, etc). So what about the loser? The guy/woman who cannot make a living, can’t find a wife/husband, cannot establish himself, and cannot even be a good Christian.

The one who tries but fails? And then, pathetically, tries again?

What kind of example can this person be? What can he offer from a Christian perspective? What worth does he have?

People in this middle- like me, for example- are constantly in angst. We are selfish sometimes, and incredibly giving sometimes. We are patient, and then we are impatient like children. We feel our ship still has to come in, but then wonder after the years and tragedies pass, if that is just a pipe dream.

And we pray and fail at that too, and wonder if our faith isn’t good enough or if God has completely forgotten us.

It is its own kind of hell I think. We’ve smelled the peach, but could not eat it. Maybe its pride? Maybe we are the worst examples of pride? Just letting my mind run wild here…and I’m lonely.
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If you are lonely, you are especially welcome on here, but I think that you need to maybe get out more and hang out with family and friends.

As for the title question, why does God allow suffering? A Protestant once said that “God allows it because it brings closer to Him”.
 
Well, first off I always ignore human labels, and “loser” would fall into this. So God doesnt create “losers”, we label people as such.

AFA what gifts they have to offer? Simple. Perseverance.

The whole idea of “success” this that or the other, and that includes finding an appropriate spouse are expectations that come from our culture (our very broken culture) and not from God.

Blessed Mother Teresa said it best. “God does not expect us to be successful. He expects us to be faithful”

It’s that simple.

And, one continues to be faithful, after having fallen, simply by getting up.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation is the sacrament for the faithful, for those who persevere.
 
Norm640 said:
We feel our ship still has to come in, but then wonder after the years and tragedies pass, if that is just a pipe dream.

And we pray and fail at that too, and wonder if our faith isn’t good enough or if God has completely forgotten us.

It is its own kind of hell I think. We’ve smelled the peach, but could not eat it. Maybe its pride? Maybe we are the worst examples of pride? Just letting my mind run wild here…and I’m lonely.
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You have fallen for the illusion of the “American Dream”…Or perhaps it’s a hope, a goal, a dream of yours, rather than the Kingdom of God.

The “American Dream” is not the Kingdom of God… It’s a distortion. It’s also something marketing firms use to convince you that if you dont have A,B,C and D, then you arent fulfilled. They also know who to create that longing for A,B,C and D

(And yes, loneliness just magnifies it.
 
Norm640 said:
Speaking from afar, it seems there are archetypes of people that are examples of how to/how not to behave, or archetypes of suffering or Christian decorum(for example, the poor- always an example of suffering and counting your blessings, etc). So what about the loser? The guy/woman who cannot make a living, can’t find a wife/husband, cannot establish himself, and cannot even be a good Christian.

The one who tries but fails? And then, pathetically, tries again?

What kind of example can this person be? What can he offer from a Christian perspective? What worth does he have?

People in this middle- like me, for example- are constantly in angst. We are selfish sometimes, and incredibly giving sometimes. We are patient, and then we are impatient like children. We feel our ship still has to come in, but then wonder after the years and tragedies pass, if that is just a pipe dream.

It is its own kind of hell I think. We’ve smelled the peach, but could not eat it. Maybe its pride? Maybe we are the worst examples of pride? Just letting my mind run wild here…and I’m lonely.
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The first step is to stop referring to yourself as a loser.
God doesn’t make losers.
He makes people in His own image with lots of potential.
And anyway, the world is full of people who “look” like they have it all together, but are in debt, beat their wives, and are in general nasty.
Some of the simplest people are the happiest.
Everyone tries to be a good person, if they love the Lord. Do you think people in monasteries are lonely?
Look, no clue why things have gone badly for you. But you know God loves you. You know God wants you to be happy and at peace.

Here’s what you have to offer: you can be a visible sign of God’s mercy and love. By putting on a smile when it’s incredibly difficult. By being kind to everyone, when you feel like ****. By remembering how long He hung on that tree for us. By praying for peace in your life.
You might look into some of the Saints for inspiration. St. John of the Cross comes to mind. Man, did he have it rough. What about Padre Pio? Here’s a guy who had his superiors turn on him, but he continued to pray for others and love in spite of being maligned. He’s a powerful saint. He’ll befriend you and help you on the path if you ask him.
Srsly.
And I’ll pray for you. I will. I won’t forget.
Peace,
pianist
 
There is no such thing as someone who “can’t be a good Christian”. Our faith assures us that the actual and sanctifying graces received through Baptism, Confirmation, and the Holy Eucharist strengthen us and predispose us to overcome obstacles. There are no losers in the Body of Christ. All of us has a role to play, even if that role is unseen in this world by human eyes.

As for the rest, God does not create failure and ignorance, but He allows them to exist in this world as a result of free will and human concupiscence. All that comes from God is good, and all that is good comes from God. It is a fundamental aspect of mankind that we are good, inherently so, even with the stain of Original Sin. The flesh is not evil - that is a Catharist or Albigensian heresy. And ignorance does not mean sin. A “loser” who does not understand God or the faith will not be condemned for his failure to grasp it.
 
The world creates losers, but not God.

God doesn’t see us as our job or lack thereof. We aren’t the sum of our income or who we may or may not be married to. And if God expected us to be perfect he would not have sent Jesus.

Has your ship not come in? As Mary our Mother told St. Bernadette: “I cannot promise you happiness in this life; only in the next.”

Remember Jesus said at Luke 6:21, 25:

Blessed are you who are now hungry,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who are now weeping,
for you will laugh.

And:

But woe to you who are filled now,
for you will be hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now,
for you will grieve and weep.

We are not always happy in this world or have what the world tells us we should to be a success in life…not if we are following Jesus. And this means life is often hard and can make us sad. But as these and other texts from Scripture promise us, we do have reason to hope for something better.

Remember that this world’s losers are the next world’s saints. For “many that are first will be last, and the last will be first.”–Mark 10:31.
 
Norm640 said:
Speaking from afar, it seems there are archetypes of people that are examples of how to/how not to behave, or archetypes of suffering or Christian decorum(for example, the poor- always an example of suffering and counting your blessings, etc). So what about the loser? The guy/woman who cannot make a living, can’t find a wife/husband, cannot establish himself, and cannot even be a good Christian.

The one who tries but fails? And then, pathetically, tries again?

What kind of example can this person be? What can he offer from a Christian perspective? What worth does he have?

People in this middle- like me, for example- are constantly in angst. We are selfish sometimes, and incredibly giving sometimes. We are patient, and then we are impatient like children. We feel our ship still has to come in, but then wonder after the years and tragedies pass, if that is just a pipe dream.

And we pray and fail at that too, and wonder if our faith isn’t good enough or if God has completely forgotten us.

It is its own kind of hell I think. We’ve smelled the peach, but could not eat it. Maybe its pride? Maybe we are the worst examples of pride? Just letting my mind run wild here…and I’m lonely.
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Maybe it is just pride. Are we still defining “winning” according to the world’s standards-or by God’s?
 
It’s all about attitude. Pain and hunger are suffering. Feeling upset because you don’t have material things you want or worldly success is a choice, albeit often subconscious. A child cries when he is not allowed to stay up past 9PM, or if he cannot have the new toy the neighbor boy has but he is not in true suffering.
 
No body is looser… It is behavior of a person or may say attribute if you think looser, ned someone who guide you, in my opinion astrology is good option to solve life related problems through Online Astrologer
 
Norm640 said:
Speaking from afar, it seems there are archetypes of people that are examples of how to/how not to behave, or archetypes of suffering or Christian decorum(for example, the poor- always an example of suffering and counting your blessings, etc). So what about the loser? The guy/woman who cannot make a living, can’t find a wife/husband, cannot establish himself, and cannot even be a good Christian.

The one who tries but fails? And then, pathetically, tries again?

What kind of example can this person be? What can he offer from a Christian perspective? What worth does he have?

People in this middle- like me, for example- are constantly in angst. We are selfish sometimes, and incredibly giving sometimes. We are patient, and then we are impatient like children. We feel our ship still has to come in, but then wonder after the years and tragedies pass, if that is just a pipe dream.

And we pray and fail at that too, and wonder if our faith isn’t good enough or if God has completely forgotten us.

It is its own kind of hell I think. We’ve smelled the peach, but could not eat it. Maybe its pride? Maybe we are the worst examples of pride? Just letting my mind run wild here…and I’m lonely.
Click to expand...
I think there are many people who feel like this about themselves. You are not alone. When we look at others and compare ourselves to them, we always seem to come up lacking. But the scripture tells us not to compare ourselves to others (2 Corinthians 10:12). People may ‘‘appear’’ to be happy, well-grounded, successful, etc., but we can never know what’s really going on in their lives.

When we pray, we are all lacking, that is why the Scripture says that the Holy Spirit helps us when we pray, so that none of us is a failure at prayer. It is our heart that matters and God sees the heart and has not forgotten us. Remember that God knows the very number of hairs on our head. That’s how noticeable God is of us. We are precious to him.

I think you need to step back and ask God to start showing you how HE thinks about you. ask Him to show you how much he loves you. And then wait upon the Lord. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. But pray more, read the scripture more, and things will improve.

Remember that humans and God see success differently. To God, the successful person is the one who walks with Him. A person who is walking closely with God will always be a good example to others.

I’m praying for you
 
We live in a fallen world. And the sometimes unjust social structures in place, other people’s indifference, timing, mistakes or misjudgments, any number of factors can put one in a position where they miss out on some of the things others have and often take for granted.

On a bad day, we can get tempted to think of ourselves with the “L” label or apply it to someone else if we are judgmental and think they’re not trying. But really, we should “lose the loser label.” It’s negative, it just keeps us spinning our wheels.

Don’t give up, keep praying and thinking, an answer may yet come. Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves, Our Lord told his disciples. Some in this life will experience minimal suffering, some maximum, the rest some degree in between. But we can all be equals in Heaven, so we must continue to keep the faith. God bless and may the New Year bring you renewed hope. 👍

P.S. Astrology is not going to help. Trust me. :nope: Stay away from that nonsense.
 
I do not buy into this concept of loser. The only loser is the man who throws away his soul and heart in the name of sophistication and success. As one poster mentioned, we Americans buy into this ridiculous notion of success and winning and having smiles whiter than a Crest toothpaste commercial actor, while glorifying God by rambling on and on about how good He is to us, how blessed we are, and how filled with joy. Then 100 people on facebook can “like” the fact. No way any human truly lives up to this. Yes we ARE blessed but dont tell me you feel perfect all the time. St. Paul said, we must boast of our weakness! The most interesting men I have known are the ones who dearly love Christ, admit their weaknesses or joke about them, don’t pretend to be a superman who never experiences temptation, and don’t try to be the worlds most interesting man. Humans are beautiful in the small vulnerabilities and weaknesses. I had a really intense year of drama and struggle last year and today things seem mediocre; well I am going to embrace that and ask God to reach me closer that way and to get closer to others too.

All you need is to stop calling yourself a loser, or if you can’t shake this identity overnight stop thinking it is horrible. What about St. Therese, who was incredibly simple and childlike and did no great feats? And yet do we not find her fascinating, charming, life changing in her spiritual insights? Maybe your lack as you perceive it can be a way to let Christ shine through you. Yes improve your life but don’t dehumanize yourself. People today act like others are not fully human until they have accomplished certain things, which I think is an evil way to treat others and ourselves.

I have had men interested in marriage with me, I have not settled down yet though I want to, and here are some things about the ones I liked:

One told me he gets melancholic and antisocial
One did not have established career but earned a living and was very in love with his faith
One attracted to men as well as women and did not hide the struggle
One who tells me he just reads a lot
One who does not really go out with friends but family mostly
Most shared my dorky sense of humor.
Men who call the selves boring.
Admitted he gets insecure socially.

I could go on but the common thread they all had was being deeply human and loving Jesus and loving me as a weak human who also feels insecure or boring at times. I am pretty but can be socially awkward, have a bad hair days, I get very upset and malancholic, I can be antisocial, dramatic, but I am real and I like people who are real. I don’t mean glorify sin but this religion is a lifelong love affair with God not a training program to act a cookie cutter. And most humans are just not that interesting without God even with the outside trappings. I prefer a sometimes dull but deeply human man.

God prefers to have our hearts and souls not just our credentials.
Here are some other men I know that are friends but that I would never date:

The ones who are always popular, lots of facebook likes, dropping religious terms a lot, have a good catholic job and are always winning and taking control. Nothing wrong it’s those per se but they always act like Catholicism is self improvement and try to help you by manipulating your own weakness and acting like they dont have any. Or who are always winning and looking successful.

You know what I mean, people who have it together on paper and think they only struggle with socially acceptable sins, even think their sins make them more interesting (I can’t stop impure thoughts about women because I am so sexy and virile) and then judge and analyze other people who are more openly disordered.

Maybe in the eyes of some they are winners but I would not stand it for long.

Your life is your life now, and these days everyone is getting established later what with the economy and society and marriage falling apart. My favorite people I know who have real love for God and close friends and family don’t put their paper life out there before they get to know the humans around them. They don’t run from suffering or pretend all relationships will never cause pain. They dont dehumanize their friends by marginalizing them according to label. They seem average in many ways even spiritually perhaps, but I respect them so much more because of how they meet other sinners where they are at. I try to be this way.

Secular culture does have a religion; it is the religion of being perfect and of winning and success and never having pain or failure. Of always have a social life even if you don’t enjoy it. Yet even God does not look at our results spiritually as much as our love effort and intent. So I can’t imagine he cares if we look like a loser to the world or not.

Anyway, just give yourself to God. I think I can be very boring at times and whether it is true or not I ask God to use that. And when the mediocrity of life in this valley of tears get me down I read about the souls in purgatory and pray for them bc they have it worse, or I meditate on how God loves those who lead a hidden life.

And as a poster mentioned there’s no such thing as someone who can’t be a good Christian. Why does someone have to be a popular glad hander to be a Christian. If you are that is great, go evangelize openly. If you are not you can reach God being who you are, just ask Him to use you. Many saints were hermits, not saying you should but making a point.

And besides getting everything, the girl the job the house personality clothes kids vacation, will do absolutely nothing for your feeling about yourself if you don’t have intimacy with Jesus
 
Norm640 said:
The one who tries but fails? And then, pathetically, tries again?

What kind of example can this person be? What can he offer from a Christian perspective? What worth does he have?
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Excuse me but how many times did our Lord fall carrying His cross, weakly picking it up again until finally Simon had to carry it?

Also you mention loneliness. Yes of course I understand. But our culture tells this lie that other people can fill a void. They can’t. Only Jesus. The Holy Spirit. Intimacy comes from closeness with God and family. Even then we could feel lonely. Don’t compare your insides to people’s outsides. All the people I think are coolest have seen and known suffering and failure and loneliness and by not denying those experiences our joy and love were greater.
 
Erine,

If you’re talking fast and loose about crosses, loneliness might indeed be a cross to bear. God created us to be social creatures too, and He created marriage as a sacrament. Some people have been lonely from day one, and God is all you need. No argument from me. But some people need human contact. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be a biological and spiritual need to marry.

I really hate how people flippantly minimize another’s problems. It is easy to throw out Jesus’ example. Jesus’ example is something everyone tries to embody but no one can accomplish. Why? Jesus isn’t perfect.

Simon helped Jesus carry his cross. I keep praying for Jesus to help me carry mine. Maybe he already is, I don’t know.

Catholics are a fun bunch. They are quick to categorize and label, and are some of the most unfunny people in the world. I’ve been one my entire life and I still don’t understand them.

If Jesus was one thing, it was love. And he didn’t go around belittling others’ problems. Some crosses are heavier than others, and some people don’t have much of a cross at all. Maybe you don’t have much of a cross, I don’t know…but thanks for yet another lecture on how to behave.

Jesus is love. That is the example.
 
Norm640 said:
Erine,

If you’re talking fast and loose about crosses, loneliness might indeed be a cross to bear. God created us to be social creatures too, and He created marriage as a sacrament. Some people have been lonely from day one, and God is all you need. No argument from me. But some people need human contact. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be a biological and spiritual need to marry.

I really hate how people flippantly minimize another’s problems. It is easy to throw out Jesus’ example. Jesus’ example is something everyone tries to embody but no one can accomplish. Why? Jesus isn’t perfect.

Simon helped Jesus carry his cross. I keep praying for Jesus to help me carry mine. Maybe he already is, I don’t know.

Catholics are a fun bunch. They are quick to categorize and label, and are some of the most unfunny people in the world. I’ve been one my entire life and I still don’t understand them.

If Jesus was one thing, it was love. And he didn’t go around belittling others’ problems. Some crosses are heavier than others, and some people don’t have much of a cross at all. Maybe you don’t have much of a cross, I don’t know…but thanks for yet another lecture on how to behave.

Jesus is love. That is the example.
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This is a great and insightful post, Norm, and it reminded me of one painful reality in human history.

We all have needs, real legitimate needs. And one of the most painful crosses to bare, it being forced to live a life where those legitimate need are not met.

And that happens. A lot. We have human needs and are deprived of having those needs met.
It has happened throughout human history, and continues even today.

It’s perhaps the most painful cross of all in some ways
 
I am sorry if my post came across as a lecture on how to behave. Perhaps I am terrible at expressing myself in writing on these matters. It was intended as a post to show someone who appeared to be feeling down on himself how in reality he is probably a cool person.

My entire life is a story of never having my needs met and also intensely disliking it wheh people minimize my needs. I and I was trying to help. I have no idea how it came across as a lecture on how to act. I was sharing my experience with how out culture pressures people into this image that isn’t really fair. And I was trying to paint a portrait of Jesus’ humanity and how beautiful he is in weakness. All of this because I feel your pain and have been there and wanted to support you. I am really confused how this got misconstrued but I deeply apologize for coming off as flippant and dismissing your needs since the intent was completely the opposite and I hate it when people do that.

The only thing I do not agree with is that some people don’t have much of a cross. Not that it is that simple but I only mean that pain is not relative. I have had some unthinkable crosses since I was a baby and it is things most human beings will never experience but I have learned that pain isn’t relative and some people have crosses that don’t seem as significant but I can’t dismiss that either.
 
This thread raises many good points. Jesus was a disgrace in his own time. His life ended in execution. He and his followers were marginalized. He promises that his followers will suffer in this world. This is the cost of discipleship.

Is being uncool, unesteemed, underemployed, unattractive, etc. an indication that God is not pleased with the people that he created? Does it mean that God erred in creating them as they are?

No! Silly.
 
Hi erine,

Reading through your post, I really appreciated many of the points you made. I found it thoughtful, insightful, and agree with most of it.

My rambling two cents on one point,
seeking clarification, …
though I may end up leading to further confusion
(hopefully not!): 😛

I would not dislike someone simply because he or she was a winner or was successful, and in fact I might like someone who happened to be a winner or successful … (“winner” and “successful” can qualify as labels, too) … That said, I definitely would dislike if the particular winner or successful person treated others poorly or made obviously false claims of holiness, even worse if accompanied by bragging about involvement in a public or “popular” sin. But if someone’s worst flaw was that he or she was a winner or was successful, and chose to simply keep quiet about his or her own sins, and also chose not to diminish others … then I’d prefer to think well of this person until shown a reason otherwise. … And probably, I’ll bet we even agree here … sometimes it can be tricky communicating over the internet.

~~ the phoenix
erine said:
I do not buy into this concept of loser. The only loser is the man who throws away his soul and heart in the name of sophistication and success. As one poster mentioned, we Americans buy into this ridiculous notion of success and winning and having smiles whiter than a Crest toothpaste commercial actor, while glorifying God by rambling on and on about how good He is to us, how blessed we are, and how filled with joy. Then 100 people on facebook can “like” the fact. No way any human truly lives up to this. Yes we ARE blessed but dont tell me you feel perfect all the time. St. Paul said, we must boast of our weakness! The most interesting men I have known are the ones who dearly love Christ, admit their weaknesses or joke about them, don’t pretend to be a superman who never experiences temptation, and don’t try to be the worlds most interesting man. Humans are beautiful in the small vulnerabilities and weaknesses. I had a really intense year of drama and struggle last year and today things seem mediocre; well I am going to embrace that and ask God to reach me closer that way and to get closer to others too.

…

I have had men interested in marriage with me, I have not settled down yet though I want to, and here are some things about the ones I liked:

One told me he gets melancholic and antisocial
One did not have established career but earned a living and was very in love with his faith
One attracted to men as well as women and did not hide the struggle
One who tells me he just reads a lot
One who does not really go out with friends but family mostly
Most shared my dorky sense of humor.
Men who call the selves boring.
Admitted he gets insecure socially.

I could go on but the common thread they all had was being deeply human and loving Jesus and loving me as a weak human who also feels insecure or boring at times. I am pretty but can be socially awkward, have a bad hair days, I get very upset and malancholic, I can be antisocial, dramatic, but I am real and I like people who are real. I don’t mean glorify sin but this religion is a lifelong love affair with God not a training program to act a cookie cutter. And most humans are just not that interesting without God even with the outside trappings. I prefer a sometimes dull but deeply human man.

God prefers to have our hearts and souls not just our credentials.
Here are some other men I know that are friends but that I would never date:

The ones who are always popular, lots of facebook likes, dropping religious terms a lot, have a good catholic job and are always winning and taking control. Nothing wrong it’s those per se but they always act like Catholicism is self improvement and try to help you by manipulating your own weakness and acting like they dont have any. Or who are always winning and looking successful.

You know what I mean, people who have it together on paper and think they only struggle with socially acceptable sins, even think their sins make them more interesting (I can’t stop impure thoughts about women because I am so sexy and virile) and then judge and analyze other people who are more openly disordered.

Maybe in the eyes of some they are winners but I would not stand it for long.

Your life is your life now, and these days everyone is getting established later what with the economy and society and marriage falling apart. My favorite people I know who have real love for God and close friends and family don’t put their paper life out there before they get to know the humans around them. They don’t run from suffering or pretend all relationships will never cause pain. They dont dehumanize their friends by marginalizing them according to label. They seem average in many ways even spiritually perhaps, but I respect them so much more because of how they meet other sinners where they are at. I try to be this way.

Secular culture does have a religion; it is the religion of being perfect and of winning and success and never having pain or failure. Of always have a social life even if you don’t enjoy it. Yet even God does not look at our results spiritually as much as our love effort and intent. So I can’t imagine he cares if we look like a loser to the world or not.
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erine said:
I am sorry if my post came across as a lecture on how to behave. Perhaps I am terrible at expressing myself in writing on these matters. It was intended as a post to show someone who appeared to be feeling down on himself how in reality he is probably a cool person.

My entire life is a story of never having my needs met and also intensely disliking it wheh people minimize my needs. I and I was trying to help. I have no idea how it came across as a lecture on how to act. I was sharing my experience with how out culture pressures people into this image that isn’t really fair. And I was trying to paint a portrait of Jesus’ humanity and how beautiful he is in weakness. All of this because I feel your pain and have been there and wanted to support you. I am really confused how this got misconstrued but I deeply apologize for coming off as flippant and dismissing your needs since the intent was completely the opposite and I hate it when people do that.

The only thing I do not agree with is that some people don’t have much of a cross. Not that it is that simple but I only mean that pain is not relative. I have had some unthinkable crosses since I was a baby and it is things most human beings will never experience but I have learned that pain isn’t relative and some people have crosses that don’t seem as significant but I can’t dismiss that either.
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I agree with your point about unbearable crosses.
What a person can bear is what another person feels is unbearable. There are many other factors to consider.
Generally, it is pointless to say to someone “well, that’s your cross to bear”.
What help is that?
That’s like the old saying “Life ----- and then you die”.
No advice there, just more like “tough luck dude”.
I may be mistaken, but I think that’s the frustration of the OP.
People with not a lot of close friends do not necessarily have that should to cry on. Prayer will help them, but a good Spiritual Director or Confessor would be a boon too.
How many women have been told in the past to stay with an abusive man or in a bizarre dysfunctional marriage because it’s their cross? My own sister was. Took her 13 priests to find one that finally said “Leave tonight. I know a family that will help you get on your feet.”
But, I’m off topic now. Sorry.
Lonely people get frustrated and simple remarks about “crosses” are not really helpful.
I don’t think anyone dismisses what Our Lord went through for us. Certainly not. But I also think that many people can’t equate that with what they go through. It seems disrespectful to them to think that they share that misery with the Lord. It’s yet another source of frustration for them. “Here I am feeling sorry for myself, and poor Jesus was crucified”.
It’s said we must unite our sorrows with Christ, but it’s not that easy to do with chronically depressed folks. I don’t know the answer. But I understand why the OP feels like the “cross” thing is a patch on his problem.
 
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