I am sorry to hear about your friend’s loss. It’s good they have a friend like you to ask these kinds of questions to. Some people don’t have that.
Cancer is not objectively a bad thing. It’s just a thing, really.
Death is not a bad thing – it allows us to go home to God. It’s simply a part of being mortal.
Suffering in itself is not a bad thing – it builds virtue (strength of character, perseverance).
However, just because these things are not “bad” or “evil” in themselves, doesn’t mean they aren’t difficult, or burdens we would rather not bear.
At the same time, burdens are necessary for us to grow. In order to get stronger, the body needs stresses, discomfort, and break-down. This is called exercise. It is similar for the soul. We go through hardships in order to overcome them and become stronger and more virtuous as a result.
Everyone dies, of course. We live in a good world, but not a perfect one. Sometimes death is quick and painless, like a car accident. Sometimes it is long and arduous, like an illness. Sometimes DNA goes bonkers and causes cancer. I don’t know the grandpa that died, but I would hope that through his suffering, some virtue was gained. Perhaps he understood better how other people all over the world suffer similarly, and developed compassion. Perhaps through the suffering he was able to atone for sins he may have done on earth, and go straight to heaven. Perhaps the way he suffered inspired another patient to fight on. Perhaps something else – perhaps a combination. When it comes to the veil of death and the possible of redemptive suffering, we can’t see so far. God knows.
The Grandpa is at peace now. One thing is certain – the suffering is over and the time of suffering, even if it was many years, is just the blink of an eye compared to eternity and the reward of the hereafter. It is nothing. I don’t mean to trivialize it, but our perspective here on earth is so limited, it’s almost absurd to make a judgement. Think of it from God’s point of view…and eternal point of view.
But what of the suffering still here on earth? Your friend must be suffering after the loss of a family member, or they would not be asking these questions. Again, this builds perseverance, charity, and virtue. For example, you – as a friend-- now have the opportunity to comfort someone in need of a friend. This is good for you just as much as it is helpful for the friend. Your friend, in turn, is going through a grieving experience that is a vital part of human life and mortality. After this experience, if they overcome the hardship and allow it to help form them, they will be more mature and better equipped to comfort someone else they may meet in life that really needs it. They’ll have been through it.
It may seem trite, but poor people give others opportunities to be generous. Grieving people give others opportunities to show love. In the end, God doesn’t cause bad things, but he does allow them to occur, and knows how to derive good from them.
I hope this is helpful. I will pray for your friend and their Grandparent.
