Why does God let me be so lonely?

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Anniegirl

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I am very lonely almost all the time. I sometimes think this is God’s way of making me rely entirely on Him. I feel like I should be able to embrace my loneliness and use it to seek a deeper relationship with God…and I can’t do it. I pray to accept God’s will for me, I pray for guidance, for strength, for perseverance, and for friends and the ability to make friends and be a good friend. But my prayers don’t help anything. I sometimes find myself doubting that God even exists. I used to find comfort in Him, and now I don’t. Doesn’t he want us to be happy? Why can’t I find any joy in this trial? I think I am much too weak for it. I just want to give up.
 
I have no idea whaat is going on with that, but I’ve been lonely. People will come along to be with you. Just keep reaching out and use good judgement about it. Keep praying and stay involved in activities. That’s all I can suggest. :console:
 
Sometimes I try to distinguish between being alone and being lonely. At times when I can’t discern between the two, I make it a point to get out and find someone or something to do: join a ministry, a bookclub, volunteer or something that gets me around people. Even calling a friend helps.

Don’t mind being alone unless I get bored, and then it shades into loneliness. Boredom does strange things to my mindset and soulset. When I’m alone, I can deal with silence; when I’m lonely, I need noise – that noise washes out the loneliness and lets me be silent again.
 
I know this loneliness. Sometimes it can be crushing. Spiritual, volunteer and all activities involving others help a lot. Saying the rosary can bring consolation. There’s shopping (even if you don’t buy anything, just milling around in a crowd is distracting). Movies, theater, reading, creative endeavors, performances can also lift the spirit. Remember too that the only way to have a friend is to be one. Reach out to family and acquaintances, call, write letters and emails. Going to mass and communion more often can give a greater sense of community with others of our faith.
God has also given us the great gift of animal companions. If you need a constant physical presence, there are plenty of critters in need of a home. Warning: they do have short life spans compared to us and they always manage to win our hearts then break them when they depart. But I’m thinking the years of unconditional love are worth the heartbreak.
God bless you.
 
I came across your post a few hours ago, said a prayer for you, but decided not to answer because at the time I couldn’t think of anything to say.

Then, after “surfing” around awhile (not with an intent to answer you, but just in general), I found this article (about my #1 favorite Saint) called “A Saint Who Knew Loneliness,” and I knew that I had found it for you.

Here is the link: zenit.org/article-9908?l=english

I don’t know what in the article will be helpful to you, but I’m sure my finding it was meant for you.

God bless.

:gopray2: :console:
 
Hi I have been right where you are and this I can say is that the person telling you loneliness is every where is not God. It is not your self either.
I used to tell God that I am only a person I don’t mind being a lone but I told God I get very lonely at times. When the thought came to me that I was lonely I rebuked that because I knew who it was. Keep strong this time may seem so long and it can be but God loves you and just keep on keeping on with God.
You would do much good by reading the lives of the saints inviting others to share what they think of the lives of the saints. They got lonely and they were human you can become as strong as they if you try hard.

From today on you are on my prayer chain.
Godbless.
 
Is the book available yet? A priest in my parish is related to St. Gemma. I think she is a distant or second cousin to him. He handed out pictures of her some months ago on her day and mentions her often when he says mass and the names of saints.

This is so hopeful. Thank you. I want to choose that way of love also.
 
((( Anniegirl))),

I think we all have felt alone at some time or place in our lives. I know I have. I agree that God allows this for a reason. I also believe He wants us to have a personal relationship with Him, letting Him lead us to where He wants us to go. When we do for others we are less of ourselves and more of Him.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers to see Jesus in everyone around you.

Blessings
 
I am very lonely almost all the time. I sometimes think this is God’s way of making me rely entirely on Him. I feel like I should be able to embrace my loneliness and use it to seek a deeper relationship with God…and I can’t do it. I pray to accept God’s will for me, I pray for guidance, for strength, for perseverance, and for friends and the ability to make friends and be a good friend. But my prayers don’t help anything. I sometimes find myself doubting that God even exists. I used to find comfort in Him, and now I don’t. Doesn’t he want us to be happy? Why can’t I find any joy in this trial? I think I am much too weak for it. I just want to give up.
Hi Anniegirl,
I too struggle with being alone & feeling lonely. It can be such a difficult & crushing feeling to think that no one cares or that things don’t matter. I too am in the midst of doubting God’s love for me, or maybe it’s my willingness to accept God’s love because of the things I’ve done.

Don’t give up my friend!

I will be praying for you.
 
God helps those who help themselves. What have** you** done to alter your routine, recognize and change your past unsuccessful efforts at socializing, to make yourself an interesting, appealing person to get to know and befriend? This is not something that is going to be accomplished by prayer alone–you need to put yourself out there and engage in some fellowship~it is a gift you should partake in!!
 
Island Oak:
God helps those who help themselves. What have** you** done to alter your routine, recognize and change your past unsuccessful efforts at socializing, to make yourself an interesting, appealing person to get to know and befriend?
There can be a real paradox that when we most want/need to reach out to other people it is most difficult for us to do so and to do so effectively. So what’s needed is to take small steps, be successful with them, celebrate successes and and then take larger ones. As another poster said reach out via email, letters and calls. Go to places where you are likely to meet people with similar interests.

Another paradox is that we probably come across a number of lonely peole each day but because loneliness doesn’t have physical manifestations we don’t recognise them and they don’t recognise us and so we miss potential opportunities to reduce each others loneliness.
 
Being lonely is tough to deal with sometimes. However, if we think about how Jesus died on the Cross with many loved one running away from Him - how much that hurts Him? How lonely could He feel?

Maybe, some of us have this lonely feeling from time to time so that we need Jesus as much as He wants us to come to Him - Could we imagine when we are not feeling lonely, how much we pay attention to God?
 
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