Why does God let some people suffer so much but others living a "blessed" life?

[Liturgy_Geek_1]

I am living one of those “cursed” lives. My husband has C.T.E. with dementia. Even though he is a veteran (peacetime) he receives no assistance. I have been through 3 attorneys to try and get SSI for him. No luck. I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I am trying to caregive for my husband and work since I cannot afford home health care. Most government assistance goes to 200% of poverty. I am at 213%. My kids don’t go to Mass at all, even though they were raised Catholic.

However, the Lord has blessed me so much. In both of my jobs, I get to work for the Church, how sweet is that?! My husband and I deeply love each other and he has good days when he is as he was before he got sick. My kids are my rock during this time, helping with food, work around the house, care for my husband.

A year ago, we moved out of the horrid house we were in (it was eventually condemned) to a lovely ranch style house (all one level, perfect for my husband!). God engineered every single bit of that. I found the right house. My parish helped me with first month’s rent and deposit. People helped financially in so many ways that I have been able to put things in place so I don’t have to worry about more mundane matters so that as my husband deteriorates, I can concentrate on him.

I have learned so much about Divine Providence and deepened my commitment to share what glorious things God has done for me. I am learning so much more about prayer, even though I don’t get large chunks of time to pray and many nights I fall asleep during my bedtime prayers because I am exhausted.

I am part of a beautiful parish who treat my husband with such love and respect. He doesn’t remember any of them but they greet him each Sunday. We are friends with our local Franciscan Friars Minor who also show such love for my husband.

Sure, I’m suffering. Sure, I struggle with my own physical and mental illnesses. I cry, a lot. I dream of a “normal” life. I have just as many failings as anybody else. But, I said “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.” and I meant it. I have learned so much about God, love and prayer through this experience. I don’t believe that God decided to pick on me for spite or whatever reason, but I do believe that He is using my sufferings to bring me closer to Him and to make me a better Christian.

 

[Lea101]

I don’t necessarily think this is the case. If a sick or suffering person exists, it is so because God allowed it to bring a greater good. These people do not exist to make life even better for the healthy by allowing them to do works of mercy. It is more that, God is especially close to suffering people, and yes He also expects the healthy to take care of the sick–but He did not create the sick just for the benefit of the healthy. That completely dehumanizes them.

God is perfectly just and will make up for any losses anyone has suffered in the end, providing we are true to Him.

youtu.be/0NOTU1g0Z8w I’ve posted this link earlier, it’s almost the same as what you have said

It’s just hard to see how someone’s suffering is for the greater good imo. I don’t really see why everything has to have a purpose. There are people, like I’ve said before, that leave no impact on the world. So it’s difficult to see the point behind his life/suffering. Hope I make sense!

 

[LuciaPacifici]

I have an incurable illness. Spend most of each day abed and in pain So does one of my family and neither of us has ever said WHY ME? It is not valid. Self pity is a dreadful thing.

It is as it is.Life is still a gift. A blessing. Each day, each breath,

you are listening to the wrong people.

You really are!

Well, I did not understand why people say “why??” until you realize, I can’t remember who said this but it is not always self pity but merely an expression of great pain that can’t be said any other way.

 

[Rosebud77]

I am living one of those “cursed” lives. My husband has C.T.E. with dementia. Even though he is a veteran (peacetime) he receives no assistance. I have been through 3 attorneys to try and get SSI for him. No luck. I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I am trying to caregive for my husband and work since I cannot afford home health care. Most government assistance goes to 200% of poverty. I am at 213%. My kids don’t go to Mass at all, even though they were raised Catholic.

However, the Lord has blessed me so much. In both of my jobs, I get to work for the Church, how sweet is that?! My husband and I deeply love each other and he has good days when he is as he was before he got sick. My kids are my rock during this time, helping with food, work around the house, care for my husband.

A year ago, we moved out of the horrid house we were in (it was eventually condemned) to a lovely ranch style house (all one level, perfect for my husband!). God engineered every single bit of that. I found the right house. My parish helped me with first month’s rent and deposit. People helped financially in so many ways that I have been able to put things in place so I don’t have to worry about more mundane matters so that as my husband deteriorates, I can concentrate on him.

I have learned so much about Divine Providence and deepened my commitment to share what glorious things God has done for me. I am learning so much more about prayer, even though I don’t get large chunks of time to pray and many nights I fall asleep during my bedtime prayers because I am exhausted.

I am part of a beautiful parish who treat my husband with such love and respect. He doesn’t remember any of them but they greet him each Sunday. We are friends with our local Franciscan Friars Minor who also show such love for my husband.

Sure, I’m suffering. Sure, I struggle with my own physical and mental illnesses. I cry, a lot. I dream of a “normal” life. I have just as many failings as anybody else. But, I said “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.” and I meant it. I have learned so much about God, love and prayer through this experience. I don’t believe that God decided to pick on me for spite or whatever reason, but I do believe that He is using my sufferings to bring me closer to Him and to make me a better Christian.

Bless you and thank you. tears in my eyes!

 

[Rosebud77]

Well, I did not understand why people say “why??” until you realize, I can’t remember who said this but it is not always self pity but merely an expression of great pain that can’t be said any other way.

Ok but I have never ever thought or said this and never would and that goes for others I know.

 

[signit]

God is perfectly just and will make up for any losses anyone has suffered in the end, providing we are true to Him.

Another great post, and another thing I think about a lot.

I think about those who suffer from illnesses in childhood and may not even live long, and I’d like to think that God has something good planned for them in the next life to make up for it.

 

[LethalMouse]

But why do you act as if it is possible to be like “nah bro”.
As a sane person, you can easily think that.
For someone who is ill, the person cannot be rational even if he or she wanted to. It’s not just the way they think, they have actual chemical imbalances

For example, the anorexic girl who couldn’t drink water. She obviously know how ridiculous it was, not 100% of her believed that it will make her fat. But could she physically pick up the glass and drink it? No, she was sobbing uncontrollably and she kept crying about how thirsty she was. Now, if we were there, we would probably just scream “just drink it”. There’s more that goes on besides the ‘will’ to be positive! (Btw the girl was an actual patient at an ED ward)

So while there is nobody slapping her across the face and taking away her food, just like how there’s no demon physically forcing you to murder, it’s not something you can easily dismiss. It’s really not a case of willpower. More sympathy is needed, instead of telling them that they are weak or whatever people are implying here.

I may be paranoid but I feel like you two are subtly picking on me as opposed to referring to people OP was talking about…lol

My point is even SANE peoplr succumb to demons/peer pressure etc… But again it is choice in the end.

You say “not 100% of her believes” that is my point of the 3 people.

Just as the believer sins it is because they THINK they are a believer. They are not 100%.

Just as the nonbeliever cries out about God he is not a nonbeliever 100%

There is even unknown to us a choice to execute. In psychology watching vids and studying schizophrenics, most notable the one who made the interviewer leave his room because a demon kept wanting the intervirwer dead.

The schizo stated he was aware both of his condition, the falseness of his hallucinations, and the moral disagreement between himself and what he saw tells him.

He chose to not overcome it. Because simply and like my addict examole, he made at some level a choice.

And no I am not picking on you! Actually I say much “IMO” or “my theory”

Naturally if I didnt think I was right I would not hold them as my opinions… but I give fairness to my lack of omnipotence.

However IF I am right, anyone arguing with me in a sense is suffering from choices made by the 3rd person and cannot be free fron their burdens without acknowledging it.

You have quite a few threads on your problems, and I don’t wish you to be sad. You sadness does nothing positive for me. I would rather see you find your way and be hapoy and all anyone can do with such a motive is offer what they think is right. If I am wrong I am wrong. But as of yet I know no different

 

[LethalMouse]

I think the way that we look at people addicted to drugs can not be looked at the same way when talking about people with illnesses such as Dementia’s,Schizophrenia,other brain illnesses or injuries etc because those people can only do with what tools they have.
Eg

To quote a patient

Most dementia patients I have seen for example going to do something “I know I am not supoosed to but I want to”

Most when confronted “I have dementia ”

Lol yeah I have seen it alot or sone version thereof.

And this all negates the God factor. And my arguement for 100% belief overcoming in a sense.

3 men were set into the fire and did not burn. They refused to kneel.

You see the 3 men who knelt a bit, got back up, then knelt again. And then stood up.

You see the three men burn and you say God does not do.

The three men who never knelt never burned, the ones who baulked burned. Don’t think they didn’t baulk even if you didn’t see it

 

[LethalMouse]

Actually many thought this one old lady who was “gone” mentally was incapabke of knowing her attempts to “scooch” her bed were impossible. She continued trying to hold the rails and jump and tilt to get the bed to move.

I asked her what she was doing and she said:

“I know they will get upset if I move the bed, and I know I can’t move it, but I have nothing else to do so I will keep trying”

Not so crazy? It is crazy to us in a sense, but not when you think about it. She knew it all and just chose not to care about any of it.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

The answer is quite simple actually. Matthew 22:14 sums it up nicely. “For many are called but few are chosen.” God favors some people over others. That’s all.

 

[Peebo]

Choices…what if there are no choices…I’m reading a book about Jewish people recollecting their stories of the Holocaust…they had no choice whether they lived or died from one second to the next…the lives of their families…husbands…wives children…parents…grandparents…cousins…uncles… aunts…none of them had a choice…babies…children in the arms of their mothers shot in cold blood because the mother would not give their child up to certain death in the gas chambers…then the mother shot in the same instant…where is the choice…a young girl tried to escape and was caught…she was asked by the Nazi officer what would you do if I let you live…she replied I would do it again and spit in his face…she was hanged and left hanging for all to see…would any one call that a choice…there was one story where a Rabbi at the end of the war was in the Warsaw Ghetto and saw the destruction…he prayed…“God all the years of my life I have asked you to forgive the sins of my community…today I stand in front of you and say…I don’t know if we will forgive you your sins”…some of the stories are beyond description to read…some people say God only lets us suffer to the extent he knows we can…but does that apply when you have no choice in how you will suffer…if any one wants to get this book it’s called…“Our Crime Was Being Jewish”…got it on Amazon…why did God allow his chosen people to suffer such unimaginable horror…is there really a reason for suffering…is it just a consequence of original sin and not something that God even allows…it just is because of that original sin…and will be corrected by God when sin will be wiped away by the return of our Savior

 

[LethalMouse]

Choices…what if there are no choices…I’m reading a book about Jewish people recollecting their stories of the Holocaust…they had no choice whether they lived or died from one second to the next…the lives of their families…husbands…wives children…parents…grandparents…cousins…uncles… aunts…none of them had a choice…babies…children in the arms of their mothers shot in cold blood because the mother would not give their child up to certain death in the gas chambers…then the mother shot in the same instant…where is the choice…a young girl tried to escape and was caught…she was asked by the Nazi officer what would you do if I let you live…she replied I would do it again and spit in his face…she was hanged and left hanging for all to see…would any one call that a choice…there was one story where a Rabbi at the end of the war was in the Warsaw Ghetto and saw the destruction…he prayed…“God all the years of my life I have asked you to forgive the sins of my community…today I stand in front of you and say…I don’t know if we will forgive you your sins”…some of the stories are beyond description to read…some people say God only lets us suffer to the extent he knows we can…but does that apply when you have no choice in how you will suffer…if any one wants to get this book it’s called…“Our Crime Was Being Jewish”…got it on Amazon…why did God allow his chosen people to suffer such unimaginable horror…is there really a reason for suffering…is it just a consequence of original sin and not something that God even allows…it just is because of that original sin…and will be corrected by God when sin will be wiped away by the return of our Savior

As with the schizophrenic I am not saying you have a choice about becoming one. Only in how you react.

Others have posted the redemptive suffering and rewarded etc so I focused on the “living with” and “overcoming” aspect.

The Jew can choose to die cursong God for his misfortune or to die a righteous martyr. Still a choice.

 

[LuciaPacifici]

Ok but I have never ever thought or said this and never would and that goes for others I know.

Well, that is all fine. If you never said “why me?” then I’m glad you either have never had such loss as to feel the need, or are so strong that you have never felt weak enough to exclaim it.

As for many other people, it is a spontaneous expression of pain and confusion. A toddler doesn’t have a logical argument when he/she is upset; they just cry. It’s ok. We are children of God.

 

[LuciaPacifici]

youtu.be/0NOTU1g0Z8w I’ve posted this link earlier, it’s almost the same as what you have said

It’s just hard to see how someone’s suffering is for the greater good imo. I don’t really see why everything has to have a purpose. There are people, like I’ve said before, that leave no impact on the world. So it’s difficult to see the point behind his life/suffering. Hope I make sense!

Yes I understand. I’m sensitive to comments that the poor exist to help the rich, or the sick to help the suffering. I see you didn’t mean that though.

The impact we make on souls and in heaven matters more than impact on the world. Thank goodness it’s not my job to change the world. Too much pressure. But a hidden life could save more souls than we know.

 

[LuciaPacifici]

Another great post, and another thing I think about a lot.

I think about those who suffer from illnesses in childhood and may not even live long, and I’d like to think that God has something good planned for them in the next life to make up for it.

Thanks…yes God wouldn’t be God of His perfect justice and mercy were not executed in the end. He sees the suffering and loves them a lot!

 

[LuciaPacifici]

The answer is quite simple actually. Matthew 22:14 sums it up nicely. “For many are called but few are chosen.” God favors some people over others. That’s all.

True abd in all this talk I think it is important to remember that blessings in this life are not necessarily the best blessings to have. Eternal spiritual blessings are preferable.

 

[LethalMouse]

Well, that is all fine. If you never said “why me?” then I’m glad you either have never had such loss as to feel the need, or are so strong that you have never felt weak enough to exclaim it.

As for many other people, it is a spontaneous expression of pain and confusion. A toddler doesn’t have a logical argument when he/she is upset; they just cry. It’s ok. We are children of God.

There is a difference between context.

“Ughhhhhh why meee” is not the topic.

Philosophical never ending constant “why me”

I am not a lawyer, turning a phrase in real life does not equate literal meaning in some cruel satanic fashion.

But 900 threads of Why is God so mean basically…

Being happy with being fat and lazy and saying “oh that’d be cool to be an olympic medalist” is a quick speech pattern thing but with the underlying if not auditory “It isnt for me though I am haopy here (smiles contently)”

The fat lazy person who laments and wallows in depression bc they are poor and fat! They are the why me.

See the diff? It is like being unafraid with God.

You still jump in reaction if a baseball bat comes a swinging at your face.

You just go out into the world without inate fear.

 

[LuciaPacifici]

There is a difference between context.

“Ughhhhhh why meee” is not the topic.

Philosophical never ending constant “why me”

I am not a lawyer, turning a phrase in real life does not equate literal meaning in some cruel satanic fashion.

But 900 threads of Why is God so mean basically…

Being happy with being fat and lazy and saying “oh that’d be cool to be an olympic medalist” is a quick speech pattern thing but with the underlying if not auditory “It isnt for me though I am haopy here (smiles contently)”

The fat lazy person who laments and wallows in depression bc they are poor and fat! They are the why me.

See the diff? It is like being unafraid with God.

You still jump in reaction if a baseball bat comes a swinging at your face.

You just go out into the world without inate fear.

I don’t quite follow. I’ll agree that chronic self pity isn’t healthy, but we also shouldn’t be so hard on people who do it. And depression is a real illness that not everyone “wallows” in by choice. Yes of someone is slothful and gluttonous or whatever wallowing in this sins doesn’t help.

I’m just talking about a spontaneous cry from the heart. I’ll leave it at the fact that Jesus, on the cross, cried out the beginning of a Psalm, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

 

[LiamQ]

The fat lazy person who laments and wallows in depression bc they are poor and fat! They are the why me.

Right, but this is an internet forum. We can’t look into people’s lives and determine whether they’re doing everything they can to solve a problem or not. We also can’t determine, even in real life, how aware people are that they can make some changes, or even how much strength they have to do so. Real people in real circumstances are much more complicated and nuanced than you seem to be willing to accept.

To be blunt: I find people who are constantly whining about God, and who are using this as an excuse to abandon Him, as being both foolish and annoying.

But that’s my problem, it’s an imperfection in me, and I shouldn’t project it onto them.

 

[HelenRose]

When I think about people with incurable things such as Dementia,Schizophrenia,or severe brain in any form etc and then I see other people living such blessed lives I wonder why does God allow it to be this way?

What is the purpose of these persons suffering and is there even a purpose?
Ie:Is it part of Gods plan or is it simply them being “dealt a bad hand of cards” due to the fall of Adam + Eve or whatever?

I know of no one who has escaped or will escape suffering if they live long enough. It is fact of nature. Even though we are made in the likeness of God and we have souls, we are still creatures of the natural world and will die.

A person who may live to be 98 will see most of his or her family and most all of their friends die.

I often think of my mother who at the age of 98 realized that every single person she had known and loved when she was 25 had died before her. Her entire family and all of her friends of that age were gone.

When you see a happy person who seems to have the world by the tail you are looking a brave soul who does not complain but lives their life with hope and love in spite of their struggles.