Why does God let some people suffer so much but others living a "blessed" life?

[LethalMouse]

Right, but this is an internet forum. We can’t look into people’s lives and determine whether they’re doing everything they can to solve a problem or not. We also can’t determine, even in real life, how aware people are that they can make some changes, or even how much strength they have to do so. Real people in real circumstances are much more complicated and nuanced than you seem to be willing to accept.

To be blunt: I find people who are constantly whining about God, and who are using this as an excuse to abandon Him, as being both foolish and annoying.

But that’s my problem, it’s an imperfection in me, and I shouldn’t project it onto them.

Thou shall not murder

Commandment

Judge not or you shall be judged first

Promise.

I can Judge who I wanna and then in final judgement you can all point and laugh at me as I get the first smack down and you all elevate.

Mostly I am being cheeky on that

But in truth IMO (which is like the only one that matters to me) these people who wallow are choosing a bad path of self destruction so I toss out what I think they should do.

They can listen or not. Idk. They can live in misery idk, it makes me passively sad for a moment and then I press on forgetting them.

But while engaged I will say what I think is good for them. Because I care.

If you don’t care that is when you say nothing and laugh as they destroy themselves.

AND it is not just an internet forum! We are having a discussion about people ie: humans in general!!

That means we can speak of a vast array of hunans and what they do not just posters on CAF

 

[fladreamer]

I am living one of those “cursed” lives. My husband has C.T.E. with dementia. Even though he is a veteran (peacetime) he receives no assistance. I have been through 3 attorneys to try and get SSI for him. No luck. I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I am trying to caregive for my husband and work since I cannot afford home health care. Most government assistance goes to 200% of poverty. I am at 213%. My kids don’t go to Mass at all, even though they were raised Catholic.

However, the Lord has blessed me so much. In both of my jobs, I get to work for the Church, how sweet is that?! My husband and I deeply love each other and he has good days when he is as he was before he got sick. My kids are my rock during this time, helping with food, work around the house, care for my husband.

A year ago, we moved out of the horrid house we were in (it was eventually condemned) to a lovely ranch style house (all one level, perfect for my husband!). God engineered every single bit of that. I found the right house. My parish helped me with first month’s rent and deposit. People helped financially in so many ways that I have been able to put things in place so I don’t have to worry about more mundane matters so that as my husband deteriorates, I can concentrate on him.

I have learned so much about Divine Providence and deepened my commitment to share what glorious things God has done for me. I am learning so much more about prayer, even though I don’t get large chunks of time to pray and many nights I fall asleep during my bedtime prayers because I am exhausted.

I am part of a beautiful parish who treat my husband with such love and respect. He doesn’t remember any of them but they greet him each Sunday. We are friends with our local Franciscan Friars Minor who also show such love for my husband.

Sure, I’m suffering. Sure, I struggle with my own physical and mental illnesses. I cry, a lot. I dream of a “normal” life. I have just as many failings as anybody else. But, I said “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.” and I meant it. I have learned so much about God, love and prayer through this experience. I don’t believe that God decided to pick on me for spite or whatever reason, but I do believe that He is using my sufferings to bring me closer to Him and to make me a better Christian.

You’re inspiring.

youtu.be/0NOTU1g0Z8w I’ve posted this link earlier, it’s almost the same as what you have said

It’s just hard to see how someone’s suffering is for the greater good imo. I don’t really see why everything has to have a purpose. There are people, like I’ve said before, that leave no impact on the world. So it’s difficult to see the point behind his life/suffering. Hope I make sense!

Thanks for the link, Lea. I was pleasantly surprised. I like priests who tell it like it is. In Christian circles we hear so many platitudes (not trying to be mean, just stating what I observe(d) ) about people’s suffering, God’s will, and so on, I think this priest is spot on. I will watch more of him, see how he takes on different aspects of Catholicism/God that I’m struggling with. Thanks.

 

[Rosebud77]

The answer is quite simple actually. Matthew 22:14 sums it up nicely. “For many are called but few are chosen.” God favors some people over others. That’s all.

Ah but that is not what Jesus means here. And God "favours " all equally and loves all equally. Care please when quoting Jesus!

 

[Rosebud77]

As with the schizophrenic I am not saying you have a choice about becoming one. Only in how you react.

Others have posted the redemptive suffering and rewarded etc so I focused on the “living with” and “overcoming” aspect.

The Jew can choose to die cursong God for his misfortune or to die a righteous martyr. Still a choice.

Amen; the response and the reponsibilty for that response lies firmly with us. Of course so easy to blame God…

 

[Rosebud77]

Well, that is all fine. If you never said “why me?” then I’m glad you either have never had such loss as to feel the need, or are so strong that you have never felt weak enough to exclaim it.

As for many other people, it is a spontaneous expression of pain and confusion. A toddler doesn’t have a logical argument when he/she is upset; they just cry. It’s ok. We are children of God.

You really do not want my life story… and no not strong then but strong now. Why shoudl anyone be spared and exempt? We are all in this together after all and as I have said before, we are all also here to help and support each other. No I do not agree that crying why me is a good or natural reaction. Far more is pleading for help to bear it… GOD HELP ME! Which has been my song many decades And He does and so do others and I strive now to be there for others as God is there for me.

 

[Rosebud77]

I don’t quite follow. I’ll agree that chronic self pity isn’t healthy, but we also shouldn’t be so hard on people who do it. And depression is a real illness that not everyone “wallows” in by choice. Yes of someone is slothful and gluttonous or whatever wallowing in this sins doesn’t help.

I’m just talking about a spontaneous cry from the heart. I’ll leave it at the fact that Jesus, on the cross, cried out the beginning of a Psalm, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

The people I thank are those who did not sympathise with me but waited and watched until I could find the strength to stand again, Time and again. The ones I avoid are those offering “sympathy” . That kind of reaction encourages self pity and is a weakening…

Yes we do all make choices to wallow. A few minutes is fine but making a life career of it?

 

[Elena321]

I am living one of those “cursed” lives. My husband has C.T.E. with dementia. Even though he is a veteran (peacetime) he receives no assistance. I have been through 3 attorneys to try and get SSI for him. No luck. I work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I am trying to caregive for my husband and work since I cannot afford home health care. Most government assistance goes to 200% of poverty. I am at 213%. My kids don’t go to Mass at all, even though they were raised Catholic.

However, the Lord has blessed me so much. In both of my jobs, I get to work for the Church, how sweet is that?! My husband and I deeply love each other and he has good days when he is as he was before he got sick. My kids are my rock during this time, helping with food, work around the house, care for my husband.

A year ago, we moved out of the horrid house we were in (it was eventually condemned) to a lovely ranch style house (all one level, perfect for my husband!). God engineered every single bit of that. I found the right house. My parish helped me with first month’s rent and deposit. People helped financially in so many ways that I have been able to put things in place so I don’t have to worry about more mundane matters so that as my husband deteriorates, I can concentrate on him.

I have learned so much about Divine Providence and deepened my commitment to share what glorious things God has done for me. I am learning so much more about prayer, even though I don’t get large chunks of time to pray and many nights I fall asleep during my bedtime prayers because I am exhausted.

I am part of a beautiful parish who treat my husband with such love and respect. He doesn’t remember any of them but they greet him each Sunday. We are friends with our local Franciscan Friars Minor who also show such love for my husband.

Sure, I’m suffering. Sure, I struggle with my own physical and mental illnesses. I cry, a lot. I dream of a “normal” life. I have just as many failings as anybody else. But, I said “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.” and I meant it. I have learned so much about God, love and prayer through this experience. I don’t believe that God decided to pick on me for spite or whatever reason, but I do believe that He is using my sufferings to bring me closer to Him and to make me a better Christian.

Thankyou for sharing your story:hug1:
I’m so glad that your husband is surrounded by people who love him and treat him with respect.
Please also consider starting a Gofundme (or similar) page as I’m sure I/others would like to help if even in some small way.

 

[Elena321]

Actually many thought this one old lady who was “gone” mentally was incapabke of knowing her attempts to “scooch” her bed were impossible. She continued trying to hold the rails and jump and tilt to get the bed to move.

I asked her what she was doing and she said:

“I know they will get upset if I move the bed, and I know I can’t move it, but I have nothing else to do so I will keep trying”

Not so crazy? It is crazy to us in a sense, but not when you think about it. She knew it all and just chose not to care about any of it.

No.To me it sounds like a person affected by an illness.
A person that’s rational & knows a bed can’t be moved would not keep attempting to move it even if bored etc.

Generally speaking,people that have the more severe manifestations of illnesses that affect the brain (regardless whether Dementia,Schizophrenia,Tbi etc) can sometimes say things that sound like they have rationality & are making a wilful choice but this still isn’t the case.
On closer “inspection” their thinking is mixed up and confused.

I read one story before,where a girl killed her sister in a fit of rage over a hairstraightener.
She told the police that she was jealous of her sister and that her sister was prettier & skinny & always got attention at school(Uni) etc & that they always fought etc.
On the surface,it sounds like she made an extreme moral/wilful evil choice-yes?
It was found though,that that girl had a Congenital Androgen Disorder which (in addition to making her look quite manly & bulky) also made that she had extremely high levels of Androgens/testosterone in her brain,much abnormal for a woman,which made her then prone to aggression & easily anger.
Her reasoning “centre” was clouded/overcome by her emotional brain “centre/s” due to the high testosterone due to the illness which caused her to not be able to control her extreme/out of proportion reaction to her sister at stealing her straightening iron resulting in her killing her.
(Sad story for the parent as not only did they lose one daughter,they ended up losing the other one too as after this event she was forcibly placed on a medicine for the disorder with side effect of extreme obesity & died suddenly from obese/cardiac issue).

 

[Elena321]

Choices…what if there are no choices…I’m reading a book about Jewish people recollecting their stories of the Holocaust…they had no choice whether they lived or died from one second to the next…the lives of their families…husbands…wives children…parents…grandparents…cousins…uncles… aunts…none of them had a choice…babies…children in the arms of their mothers shot in cold blood because the mother would not give their child up to certain death in the gas chambers…then the mother shot in the same instant…where is the choice…a young girl tried to escape and was caught…she was asked by the Nazi officer what would you do if I let you live…she replied I would do it again and spit in his face…she was hanged and left hanging for all to see…would any one call that a choice…there was one story where a Rabbi at the end of the war was in the Warsaw Ghetto and saw the destruction…he prayed…“God all the years of my life I have asked you to forgive the sins of my community…today I stand in front of you and say…I don’t know if we will forgive you your sins”…some of the stories are beyond description to read…some people say God only lets us suffer to the extent he knows we can…but does that apply when you have no choice in how you will suffer…if any one wants to get this book it’s called…“Our Crime Was Being Jewish”…got it on Amazon…why did God allow his chosen people to suffer such unimaginable horror…is there really a reason for suffering…is it just a consequence of original sin and not something that God even allows…it just is because of that original sin…and will be corrected by God when sin will be wiped away by the return of our Savior

I think people who say the saying “God only gives people what they can handle…” are usually well meaning but I bet it doesn’t help people suffering.
The reality is,it isn’t true-as you showed by your example of the Holocaust or people who become victims of psychopaths etc.
The Jewish people who were in the Holocaust were/are beyond incredible.I can’t think of a greater example of human spirit,love and strength.
I used to read some of those stories too but I can’t read it anymore as its too affecting.

 

[fin]

True. And sometimes, the solution may not be up to them, or they would need the support and assistance of others, which is not available. The person may require some tangible material things that he doesn’t have, perhaps due to lack of money, or access.

Someone gave the example of weight loss. If someone is slothful and doesn’t exercise, yes we can say it’s his fault. But, if he’s not suffering from the temptations to sloth, it’s going to be another thing. Maybe, anger, lust, or whatever. Maybe drug addiction, or compulsive shopping.

We all have things in ourselves that we don’t like and wish weren’t part of us. We all have our crosses to carry.

In order to something to happen, a lot of things has to ‘work out’ together.

This thread might be helpful in addressing these questions.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1019447&page=2

Right, but this is an internet forum. We can’t look into people’s lives and determine whether they’re doing everything they can to solve a problem or not. We also can’t determine, even in real life, how aware people are that they can make some changes, or even how much strength they have to do so. Real people in real circumstances are much more complicated and nuanced than you seem to be willing to accept.
.

 

[LethalMouse]

No.To me it sounds like a person affected by an illness.
A person that’s rational & knows a bed can’t be moved would not keep attempting to move it even if bored etc.

.

1. That is the kind of thinf I’d do for kicks, when my mind goes I assume I will be a riot!
2. Drunk for example I might keep trying to move an unmoveable bed, but still I never do anything contrary to my sober morals so I guess I don’t see being affected as an excuse.

And note in my hayday I have drank enough to be beyond the standard lethal limit and successfully did nothing I regret. And notably nothing that comes close to qualifying as sin. Drunk/crazy w/e it just makes our true selves more powerful, and by nature I am not horrible it seems.

Many others mention how they need their faith to not be horrible! Perhaps their actions when crazy tells a good story???

Take the sane person who says “If it wasn’t for my faith I would never be this nice” or “sometimes I am about to do soemthing horrible but stop because I fall back on my faith”

Now imagine this person who is sane and innately horrible going insane???

Oh brother LOOK OUT.

But if you have no leanings toward these things than all the mental disorders and substances in the world won’t make you do them PERIOD!!

1. You wouldn’t try moving the bed out of boredom???
   You sound far to serious and boring!!!

Have you never tried to use the force? I mean come on!!! What is the point of this life if not to be ridiculous and goofy?

To lament suffering and cry about thing???

No thanks!!!

I prefer to keep trying to move beds with the force!!

 

[Elena321]

1. That is the kind of thinf I’d do for kicks, when my mind goes I assume I will be a riot!
2. Drunk for example I might keep trying to move an unmoveable bed, but still I never do anything contrary to my sober morals so I guess I don’t see being affected as an excuse.

And note in my hayday I have drank enough to be beyond the standard lethal limit and successfully did nothing I regret. And notably nothing that comes close to qualifying as sin. Drunk/crazy w/e it just makes our true selves more powerful, and by nature I am not horrible it seems.

Many others mention how they need their faith to not be horrible! Perhaps their actions when crazy tells a good story???

Take the sane person who says “If it wasn’t for my faith I would never be this nice” or “sometimes I am about to do soemthing horrible but stop because I fall back on my faith”

Now imagine this person who is sane and innately horrible going insane???

Oh brother LOOK OUT.

But if you have no leanings toward these things than all the mental disorders and substances in the world won’t make you do them PERIOD!!

1. You wouldn’t try moving the bed out of boredom???
   You sound far to serious and boring!!!

Have you never tried to use the force? I mean come on!!! What is the point of this life if not to be ridiculous and goofy?

To lament suffering and cry about thing???

No thanks!!!

I prefer to keep trying to move beds with the force!!

I think I’m pretty fun.I drink (not to the point of getting drunk off face).
In my background it’s perfectly acceptable for women to drink vodka and even beer.

I don’t quite understand the mentality of people who say they are horrible people without their faith-it’s probably a complicated area.Ie:is it lack of morals,or self loathing,lack of empathy,refusal of accepting personal responsibility…could be different factors.

Regarding people with mental/cognitive illness it’s different from people being drunk.Reason being that persons make a conscious choice to get drunk (which may then change personality,reduce inhibitions or bring out true self as you said).
With mental/cognitive illnesses the persons do not choose or cause this.
If something pathological affects eg their temporal lobe or frontal lobe their personality & actions can vastly change-through no fault of their own.
These people were not “bad natured” people who’s Ilness simply “brought it out”.
Unfortunately,their families often say they were lovely people prior to the illness taking affect.
(I mean unfortunate that it happened to lovely people,not unfortunately that they were lovely!)

 

[Faxero]

I don’t quite understand the mentality of people who say they are horrible people without their faith-it’s probably a complicated area.Ie:is it lack of morals,or self loathing,lack of empathy,refusal of accepting personal responsibility…could be different factors.

Religion, along with several other factors, such as family upbringing, formation of conscience, and culture, may have an inhibitive effect on persons.

An excellent student with competent teachers may have otherwise been an early dropout if the circumstances were different; if his teachers were incompetent, or if his school operated inefficiently.

By the same note, a saint could have been in hell, had he not surrounding himself with godly influences, preserved on the narrow road, etc. :hammering:

I am of the impression that I myself could have been a murderer by now, had it not been for Christianity. One time, when I felt particularly wrathful toward my Mother, I’ve considered killing her. I wasn’t able to do so, thanks to God’s grace, which was demonstrated through my guardian angel warning me of what could happen if I had followed through with my plan.

A variety of factors may influence our behaviors, and religion can be one such factor. Faith helps keep us in line, the same way the ten commandments helped keep Ancient Israel in line, or how confession helps keep us mindful of sin’s corrupting influence.

 

[LethalMouse]

I think I’m pretty fun.I drink (not to the point of getting drunk off face).
In my background it’s perfectly acceptable for women to drink vodka and even beer.

I don’t quite understand the mentality of people who say they are horrible people without their faith-it’s probably a complicated area.Ie:is it lack of morals,or self loathing,lack of empathy,refusal of accepting personal responsibility…could be different factors.

Regarding people with mental/cognitive illness it’s different from people being drunk.Reason being that persons make a conscious choice to get drunk (which may then change personality,reduce inhibitions or bring out true self as you said).
With mental/cognitive illnesses the persons do not choose or cause this.
If something pathological affects eg their temporal lobe or frontal lobe their personality & actions can vastly change-through no fault of their own.
These people were not “bad natured” people who’s Ilness simply “brought it out”.
Unfortunately,their families often say they were lovely people prior to the illness taking affect.
(I mean unfortunate that it happened to lovely people,not unfortunately that they were lovely!)

The one thing noteworthy about people is how rarely truth flows from their lips.

“I never expected this”

If you hear the details of the story it is usually a million indicators along the way…

And it is notable that in my instance the person may have been as the religious person who needs it.

For example there is a difference between someone who doesn’t murder and someone who would not murder. Just because you chose not to does not mean you wouldn’t given the chance. You don’t want jail, you fear hell etc…

That is also not that impressive, you are “good” by way of weakness (fear of something stronger)

The person who if given a pass from all consequences and still would not murder someone. That is the good person.

Note many serial killers seemed great, but never were. You seem fixated on believing what they seemed like.

 

[LethalMouse]

Really it is the difference between God fearing

And God loving

So the point is many or even most “good” people that you think are good are God fearing. Not God loving.

 

[Rosebud77]

I think I’m pretty fun.I drink (not to the point of getting drunk off face).
In my background it’s perfectly acceptable for women to drink vodka and even beer.

I don’t quite understand the mentality of people who say they are horrible people without their faith-it’s probably a complicated area.Ie:is it lack of morals,or self loathing,lack of empathy,refusal of accepting personal responsibility…could be different factors.

Regarding people with mental/cognitive illness it’s different from people being drunk.Reason being that persons make a conscious choice to get drunk (which may then change personality,reduce inhibitions or bring out true self as you said).
With mental/cognitive illnesses the persons do not choose or cause this.
If something pathological affects eg their temporal lobe or frontal lobe their personality & actions can vastly change-through no fault of their own.
These people were not “bad natured” people who’s Ilness simply “brought it out”.
Unfortunately,their families often say they were lovely people prior to the illness taking affect.
(I mean unfortunate that it happened to lovely people,not unfortunately that they were lovely!)

You see things as black and white with no shades of grey, no varying degrees of illness or health, So bo accountability AT ALL and no llearning capacity AT ALL? It is not ilke that, People with mental illnesses do nto suddenly become zombies with no will power or sense or right and wrong.

 

[Elena321]

You see things as black and white with no shades of grey, no varying degrees of illness or health, So bo accountability AT ALL and no llearning capacity AT ALL? It is not ilke that, People with mental illnesses do nto suddenly become zombies with no will power or sense or right and wrong.

Oh,I’m not suggesting at all it’s like that for all people with mental/cognitive illnesses.
There are various degrees of illness with various capacities for personal responsibility,self reflection,reality testing etc -I’m only referring to the more severe cases.
For example someone with Dementia,Schizophrenia,brain tumour or somethjng else affecting cognition often doesn’t have responsibility if they do somethjng wrong because their illness may have affected their abilities to fully understand the impact of their actions,their empathy may be impaired,their reality testing ability may be gone,they may now lack the capacity to regulate their emotion,or they may no longer have the ability to inhibit their response etc.
Even the courts where I live see it the same way which is why those people are found not guilty due to mental impairment.

But on the other hand I know there are also other people with “milder” expressions of mental illness who are still able to be fully aware of impact of actions & capable of personality responsibility.
One instance that comes to mind is sometimes we hear in the news a footballer who has done (or even dealt) drugs or abused his wife and then blames it in court on mental illness.
I do think there are people like this who probably take advantage of the notion of mental impairment for their own advantage to avoid consequences & avoid responsibility.
Sure,sometimes the footballer may have genuinely had some depression or anxiety but not to the point where he lacked capacity for self control/free choice.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Our Cardinal Archbishop said at a funeral Mass that the deceased’s life purpose was to suffer.

Walked with a limp.

Because his pastor told me his stump was infected and his prosthesis hurt.

Hands were horribly gnarled with arthritis.

All kinds of medical problems … his whole life.

Finally … one day he raised his arms after the consecration … and his arms wouldn’t work.

The found a brain tumor.

And then he was gone.

 

[GerLocke]

I just read an article called “There is no God (and you know it)”.

It starts right off with the old "Somewhere in the world a man has abducted a little girl. Soon he will rape, torture, and kill… ", and some how that leads to a proof that God is not real.

This is yet another example of someone whose eyes and ears are closed to the truth - a person who is not even interested in seeking the truth. Questions like these have been asked thousands of times, and explained in a clear and concise Catholic way.

If the author would listen to Catholic Answers for even a week, something I’m quite sure he would not be willing to do - he would see, even if he does not accept, the actual answers to these questions. I guess that after years and years of the same, I am just getting tired of hearing the same old arguments against God being brought up over and over, by those who are not even interesting in listening to the answers and guidance that are given by the apologists at Catholic Answers. All they have to do is put out an article full or one “proof” after another and the average, uniformed reader will just say “Yeah, that makes perfect sense” - and they easily win over another soul which will join them in an eternity without God. (and they know it)

 

[deafjazzy]

Who are living a “blessed” life? No one.