If loving God is supposed to make us happy. I never feel happy. I never feel like anything I do is enough. There is so so much for me to change. I know I should not feel sorry for myself, sulk. There is never an excuse for sin. I sin almost everyday. I try hard not. It is difficult maturing. It embarasses me for others people, this just so easy. It is not easy for me to mature. I do not want to suffer. I do not know why I have to. The easy thing if your religion does not make you happy, then quit it. But that is wrong. Is it okay to take time off from God and see the world for myself? I understand mortal sins are wrong. Somethings I just do not understand. Thinking bad thoughts? Foul language? When I become angry I slip sometimes. Should i never ever feel happy? Should I always feel guilty and unworthy? I spend one day looking at every little bad thing I did wrong or mistake. No justification for sin. There are worse things I could do than having bad thoughts. I did not commit murder, I do not steal. He seems impossible to please.
The reason we are to try to control our thoughts is because first comes a thought…to kill someone, then bad words to put him down, curse, or threaten him, then comes physical violence that could end up in murder. If you want to break this cycle, you need to start at the root, the thoughts.
Many a violent act has come first by angry words in an argument. This cursing and swearing hurts people, is a bad habit, bad example to others around us.
If you want to resolve something, cursing and swearing is about the worst possible thing you can do.
We need to learn how to negotiate. Do skilled negotiators and mediators who want to resolve a conflict start cursing and swearing? No. Why not? It doesn’t work, only serves to further escalate tensions.
Learn diplomacy. Look for other ways to channel any anger, etc. There is exercise, sports, relaxation techniques, all manner of things.
One can also use that anger in some positive way.
It upsets me there aren’t ramps I’d like in Mexico for my wheelchair. Instead of cursing and swearing, I do something about it. I write the City. In some cases, that has actually worked. When it doesn’t, I take it to the next level, INCODIS, which does a formal petition, acts like my advocate.
I don’t bother cursing and swearing. I look for positive ways to handle my anger and frustration. When I can resolve something, have to accept it, I listen to music or read, talk to a friend, play chess, go out, to try to handle my anger in a positive way.
Our suffering can have purpose. I’ve suffered a lot in Mexico not having access to services, but I’ve tried to use that to make a difference, not only for myself, but for others with disabilities.
I channel my anger to use that energy for other things, and at least sometimes, it’s actually worked.
When I can’t change anything, I offer my suffering in reparation for sins, mine and those of others.
It is through suffering that we are perfection. “When the sun is always shining, there is a desert below. It’s the rain that makes love grow”.
Someone who has never suffered is often quite selfish, shallow, immature. Suffering helps us to become stronger in so many ways. It is sort of like steel, tempered by fire.
Think of rich kids who have never known want. Some are spoiled. I sometimes think they’d be helped by a trip to the Third World.
If used positively, suffering can help us become better people.
