Why does he like me?

[unworthy]

Will you please give me some advice based on your wisdom? There’s a gentleman who really likes me. He’s in his mid 20s I’m nearing 22 (for you to know that we’re both of dating age). I really really do not like him in any romantic way. I’m neither drawn to him spiritually nor physically. Yes, he is handsome–as almost every man is (IMHO) but I am not attracted to him. I know God loves him and he is worthy of tremendous respect and dignity. I love him as I would my brother–that’s it. I have no desire to be attracted to him; is it wrong for me to desire no romantic interest with him?

When did his pursuit begin you ask? I knew him as an acquaintance for a very long time and he often saw me at Mass and class but he never began pursuing me until I said “hello” to him last year. That was when he started poking fun at me (in a friendly way), mentioning extremely nice things about me in front of my friends, single-ing me out in front of other women, at random points in conversation, and trying to lock his eyes with mine.
Only now it’s become even more obvious to me as he has increased his communication with me, especially when he desires to be everywhere that I am. I don’t want him to ask me out and I don’t want to hurt him. He seems the type who has waited very long to make a good decision about the woman he is looking for. Which is good for him, but I am not perfect and am the worst among sinners. I fear of course that he puts me too high on a pedestal and moreover, I really do not share his attraction Please help me. I really want to do God’s will and I am bringing it to prayer. What do you suggest I do based on your wisdom. Anyone been in a similar situation? I’m all ears

 

[monicatholic]

I don’t want to hurt him.

dishonesy hurts. be honest. he will be disappointed, maybe, but hurt? as in “i trusted you and you failed me”? no. he won’t be hurt in that way so long as you are honest.

the truth will set you both free.

conversely, this is ***not ***true:

I am not perfect and am the worst among sinners.

if you were the worst among sinners, you would misuse the fellow mercilessly. instead, you’re concerned for his feelings. again, unworthy, the truth will set you free. you need to be free of this lie.

pray about scrupulosity. seek spiritual direction. This lie may render you unfree-- holding you in a prison, fearing God’s love for you and fearing anyone else’s sincere concern and appreciation of you.

 

[howdytest]

Be honest the the guy, he’ll get over it. It’s the way it works.

 

[ack]

The reasons why he likes you are probably inexplicable. The reasons why you don’t like him even though he’s handsome are similarly inexplicable. For the most part, attraction isn’t really logical.

I don’t want him to ask me out and I don’t want to hurt him. He seems the type who has waited very long to make a good decision about the woman he is looking for. Which is good for him, but I am not perfect and am the worst among sinners. I fear of course that he puts me too high on a pedestal and moreover, I really do not share his attraction Please help me. I really want to do God’s will and I am bringing it to prayer. What do you suggest I do based on your wisdom. Anyone been in a similar situation? I’m all ears

As long as he doesn’t ask you out, I suggest that you do nothing. Just treat him like any other male acquaintance. If your instincts are right and he does like you, then he’ll eventually ask you out. At this point, you can simply tell him that you’re not interested.

 

[Sierrah]

Be honest in a nice way if he asks you out. If I were 20 years younger I’d asked you to send him my way.