Why does it feel like I am in hell?

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mslizzie

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First of all, I do have a mental illness where I experience depression and psychosis. Often, I feel like I am already in hell and is no longer on earth. No matter how much I try to ignore these thoughts it still keeps on haunting me. Can somebody do reality checks with me and assure me that I am still very much alive and is not in hell?
 
It sounds like you might need a med check.

Remember that clinical depression is a PHYSICAL DISEASE, not a spiritual or character flaw.

Maybe you need to be on an antidepressant.

Maybe you need a different medicine from, or in addition to, what you are taking presently.

PLEASE see your doctor.
 
For whatever it’s worth, you are not in hell. If you were in hell, you would have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that this was the case. No one in hell is unaware of this fact or why they are where they are. You ARE, however, losing touch with reality and need to contact your physician immediately, before you no longer have the ability to do so of your own volition. Don’t put yourself through that, or the torture of living with these doubts. Just call the doctor and know that God is with you whether you can sense His presence or not. God bless you, you’re in my prayers.
 
My dear friend

Your not in hell. As the good book says, " Those who sow with teers shall reap with shouts of joy." If you persevere God will wipe away all your teers in heaven and fill you with endless wonderful blissful blessings for all eternity.

Your cross is the key that opens the door to heaven. The larger the key the greater the happiness you’ll have.

Hang in there in those dark times. It’s not forever. Good times will come again.

God is offering you paradise. What more could you want?

I’m praying for you.

God bless and peace to you:thumbsup:🙂
 
Of course it is well to go to a doctor for necessary medication, but don’t forget to go the your Heavenly Physician, the one who created you and loves you, and knows you better than you know yourself.

I know when I am at my wit’s end about something, I surrender to Jesus. Once when I was looking for a place to live, I felt like the bottom had dropped out of my world. Then, I found a Catholic church as I was walking downtown Toronto. I walked into that church and it happened to be time for mass, and I remember looking at Jesus, my Jesus hidden in the Eucharist, and I thought “Lord, I have only You. I have no home, but its okay. You are my only home.” Immediately I felt flooded with love, and nothing else mattered. I felt like I was already in Heaven - I carried Heaven in my heart, because I was joined with God.

I think that you need to let go of the bonds that separate you from God. He wants to heal You, He loves you so much, but there are things in the way. You really are in a kind of Hell, because when a person is in Hell, they are cut off from God. You need to run spiritually, to the heart of Jesus, trusting in the ocean of His Divine Mercy, and you will be healed. That has been my experience in every dire situation of my life. Your head is full of bad feelings, so it will be hard for you to open yourself up to His Healing, the peace and love He wants to give you. You may have to do something physically, like go on a pilgrimage to a holy place where it will be easier to let go of these things, these bonds of hurt that need healing and that separate you from Him. Receive the sacrament of reconciliation and be washed clean. Run to Your Father, who loves you as you are.

I will be praying for you. God bless.
 
mslizzie said:
First of all, I do have a mental illness where I experience depression and psychosis. Often, I feel like I am already in hell and is no longer on earth. No matter how much I try to ignore these thoughts it still keeps on haunting me. Can somebody do reality checks with me and assure me that I am still very much alive and is not in hell?
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My suggestion? Look at the world around you. Dismiss religious thoughts for a while; they’re what is feeding you the idea of Hell in the first place, after all.
 
I am also mentally ill, and I can tell you that there is no cut and dried answer to stuff like this. Yes, go talk with your doctor. You shouldn’t have to go through this much misery. And you can turn to God as well. He loves you beyond measure. Do an examination of conscience as well, then go to confession. But do it with the thought that what you are currently feeling isn’t a sin.

Basically, do whatever it takes to get out from under this current thought. It’s enough of a burden of being mentally ill. You don’t have to suffer this alone.
 
Thank you so much for all your responses. They have brought tears in my eyes, knowing that there are people like you who care about what I had to share. It felt good knowing that you were there to listen to my misery.
 
One of the things that lead me to believe that I was already in hell were the voices which tell me that I was already in that place of eternal punishment. I just wish the voices would stop and I will regain the peace of mind that I am hoping for. It is a burden for me to feel this kind of torment and I just wish the voices would eventually end.
 
Mslizzie,
First let me tell you that you are not in hell. You are one of the pilgrims of the church militant fighting for your salvation and the salvation of others. I have been through what you are experiencing. Talk to your Dr. about dissociation , derealization or the possiblity of depersonalization . This is something you can control with the proper meds and continueing to reach out for “reality checks”. One thing that has helped me the most was reaching out and seeing the good that people do to help. That is hope and hope is not availible in hell. The enemy compounds the problem and wants you to feel like you have already been judged, abandoning hope. You have not been judged. Most folks don’t know the intense spiritual warfare that comes with this illness. All of heaven is fighting with you and you must wash away your fears, your past experiences, growing in hope. If the thought of seperation creeps up on you, pray to St. Michael. He is a faithful guardian and a no nonsense fighter for the Lord. Know that we are praying for you and you can overcome this with proper therapy and spiritual direction. Please seek both. God bless you mslizzie. Tim
 
Thank you for the reply, Tim. I hope you won’t mind if I ask. Do you also suffer from a mental illness like me? If so, are you on any medications? How do you cope with the struggles of having a mental illness?
 
Yes mslizzie, I am dxed with bi-polar, clinical depression, and ptsd. I take 3 meds twice a day through much trial and error. I think I have found a healthly balence with in my mental and spiritual circumstances, but that could change as time goes by. Sometimes my meds intake has to be evaluated. I also have much help from my confessor who has kind of filled in as a spiritual director through his compassion. Right now things are going great for me, though I have been through much darkness in the past. You have to stick with the sacraments, get help as the Lord was even helped carrying His cross. There is no shame in carrying your cross and continue to reach out to good folks as you are, helping them get to heaven as well. There is great light beyond the darkness you feel and one day you will come out of it. Keep up your hope in the Lord. He heals all who seek Him. Tim
 
mslizzie said:
First of all, I do have a mental illness where I experience depression and psychosis. Often, I feel like I am already in hell and is no longer on earth. No matter how much I try to ignore these thoughts it still keeps on haunting me. Can somebody do reality checks with me and assure me that I am still very much alive and is not in hell?
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you ARE in Hell…

unborn babies being murdered by the 1000s every day…

adults being murdered…

people being rude to one another (OK, so that doesn’t seem to fit with the 1st 2… but when it happens over and over every day… it adds up to more Hell)…

people not living up to their Christian beliefs… and not even seeming to try…

and worst of all:

We on Earth are separated, to one degree or another… from Jesus Christ, the only One who loves us unconditionally and forever and always…

Yes, we are indeed in Hell…

You are NOT crazy…
 
I went through a short period when I thought I had died and was condemned also. It was not a pretty thought, and I can not think of a more depressing thought. However, you know that Hell is a place of unbelievable torment and suffering, AND folks there hate God and can not and will not pray.

As long as you can say to yourself, I love God above everything else, you can never be in Hell. IF you can say a small prayer, you know that it would be impossible for you to be in Hell.

When I was ill, the presence of my family and friends brought me back to reality. In Hell your family and friends will not be there for you. They can offer you no comfort there. For me, I try to be aware of how and what I am thinking about. For a while, I was very concious of making sure, I was still okay. But after more than 25 years, I have mostly forgotten what I used to have to do more regularly. Now I just pay attention to how much sleep I get and try to avoid more stressful situations.

Sleep deprevation and stress can be very dangerous for anybody. For someone not thinking clearly, it can be deadly.

I was on several meds for about 6 months (and therapy for about the same time). They made be very jitterery, and I got off of them. Some meds can make things worse. I would get a second opinion. In my niece’s case she was overly medicated to the point were she could barely function. She developed a nervous ‘tick’, slurring of speech and was in a zombie like state for most of the day. The prescription label said not to use for more than 6 months, but her doctor had her on double dosage for over two years. She is now psychologically dependent on the meds so refuses to find another doctor.
 
distracted said:
you ARE in Hell…
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I see what you are saying, and a lot of us would agree that evil is all around this world. However, I do not think this is the most helpful response to our OP. This person has admitted that they have a mental illness and voices telling her that she has already been judged, condmened and is there.

MsLizzie, You are very much still alive and not in Hell. Others have offered you some good advice here. May God bless you. Even distracted had something very nice to say!
distracted said:
You are NOT crazy… .
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I think distracted is right. You are not crazy. You have a good head on your shoulders in knowing something is off and asking for reality checks and other kinds of help. A weaker person might have been absolutely convinced by this voice that speaks in error, but your faith and your good sense is saving you. 👍
 
i missed that… that voices were telling her she is condemned…

THAT is NOT true… and is from the devil…

I know what that feels like because i have been there… but when i started praying the rosary and going to Mass, those voices dissipated… can’t say they never return to haunt me… but… well, sometimes, now that i htink about it… i think i feel this way because maybe… i have not forgivien myself 100%… its like i am still working on that project but have only gotten to mayb 98%…or maybe it is closer to the truth to say that i am there 100% on some days, 98% on others… maybe that’s why the Bible says to “work out your salvation w/ fear and trembling”. It is not a one-time event…

God knows that we will get these voices from the devil telling us un-true, hateful things…

I cannot say this enough: it is best to spend as much time with Jesus in the Real Presence as is possible… One should even put it above other responsibilities sometimes… (within reason…)…

Obviously There is nothing more important than getting to Heaven…

when i am There, i never feel that I am totally hopeless… When NOT There, i do sometimes feel that way…

even if one does lose one’s soul (and/or feel that one has), Jesus can get it back again… 🙂

another thing needs to be added to this: Feelings cannot be trusted… I have learned this over and over in my walk with Jesus… Its amazing how many times I NEED to learn (re-learn) this… but, hey, what can i say…
I’m female… 😦
 
If you can go to Jesus, you are not in Hell.
If you can love Jesus, you are not in Hell.
If you can pray to Jesus, you are not in Hell.
If you can trust in Jesus, you are not in Hell.
If you have faith, however small, you are not in Hell.
If you have any one of the above, you are not in Hell.

Do not listen to the voices. Ask a priest to exorcise you and your bedroom. Trust me, this will help.
 
hugs dear MsLizzie, you are definitely not in hell, and you are not condemned… you are God’s child and He loves you. Don’t listen to the voices… It sounds like what you’re experiencing is either spiritual attack or a mental illness or both. I personally dont know which one of these it is. But you are definitely not in hell. I suggest that you talk to a doctor and/or a priest…

I pray that our Blessed Mother would shield you and cover you with her mantle

God bless you
 
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