Why does it have to be easier to be kind to people who are kind to you?

[Rozellelily]

It’s easy to be kind to people who are kind to you.
Thankfully there are many kind and nice people, but occasionally you meet someone who is not so kind,is judgmental or a personifies a bit of an “obnoxious nature” towards you (or towards someone else in your presence) and then I find it harder to be kind.
I don’t say anything to them directly or about them,but inside I don’t always feel some nice thoughts.

Can this be overcame?

 

[Rob2]

Can this be overcame?

Jesus understood our problem @Rozellelily when he said “If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that…”

I think it’s a life-long battle . We just need to keep asking the Holy Spirit to change us by the fruit He produces .

 

[Eric_Hyom]

I believe I was unfairly sacked from a care company, after being there ten years. Since being sacked, I have done around two thousand hours of voluntary work for them. On occasions, I come into contact with the people responsible for my sacking.

I say this; I think it is far easier to do two thousand hours of voluntary work, rather than be eaten up by anger and hatred.

 

[resolute]

It can be tough, sometimes the best I can muster is “Lord, I make it an act of my will to be kind to this person, because You are kind to this person.” or “I make it an act of my will to forgive this person, because You forgive this person.”

 

[Rozellelily]

Sorry for what happened at your company
It’s very good of you that you were still able to be willing to volunteer there after they fired you.

 

[Learner1969]

I feel I have unfairly been given a life sentence 13 years ago but I have learned to forgive the system responsible and the people who work for the system, it is not easy it took me a few years to get to the point I am now.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

Sorry for what happened at your company

Strange and mysterious things happened, after being sacked at the tender age of 62, I was offered a job the next day for more money. About six months later, the company that sacked me, asked if I could do some part time work for them. So I have now also been working part time with them for the last seven years, as well as doing the voluntary work for them.

I have been offered jobs without asking for them, this has never happened in my working life before. God is good, and I never prayed for any of these things to happen.

 

[TheLittleLady]

You are the sort of person I want to be

 

[ShowersofRoses]

Every time you tell that story I am amazed. What a wonderful example of actually living out the Sermon on the Mount.

It’s a lot easier to talk about loving your enemies than actually doing it.

You’re such a powerful reminder of the joy that comes from letting go of our hurt feelings and bruised pride.

 

[Allegra]

I don’t think it’s necessary to “feel kind”, just to be civil and be kind if the opportunity presents itself. For example, I have a coworker that I admit, I cringe when I see her coming because she seems to be completely oblivious to the fact that other people have needs that aren’t centered around what is convenient for her at a given second. She just doesn’t adjust well to changes in plans and doesn’t seem able to account for the needs of others when making plans. I always try to be helpful to her when possible in the hopes that she sees that when people work together and consider other people’s needs, things go a lot smoother.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

A few years ago in Manchester Cathedral, I listened to Glen fielder tell his story. He had been signed up to play football at Leighton Orient with David Beckham; and he had an exciting life to look forwards too.

Shortly after, he was stabbed in the back and beaten unconscious. He told his story from a wheel chair, the attack had left him paralysed from the waist down for the last 27 years. They sent his assailant to prison for 4 years, and then he was able to walk out of prison on his own two feet.

Glen stalked his attacker in his adapted car, with the intention of running him down, so justice would be done. An opportunity came for him to drive into his attacker, but something inside stopped him from running him down.

Glen said that for the last 27 years he has been fighting two diseases, one being paralysed, and the greater disease was the hatred for his attacker; his wheelchair was a daily reminder. He said that true justice could never happen, because true justice is not an eye for an eye, rather it is that neither person should lose their eye.

He talked about his journey of forgiving his attacker, and he now tours the country talking about forgiveness.

I was able to talk with Glen after, I told him about my experience of helping the people who sacked me. Glen seemed to recognise the healing power of helping your enemy. My story is nothing compared to Glens’.

After the talk, Graham Kendrick led the worship, he sang the ‘Peace’, taking from the words of Numbers 6 - 24

24 The LORD bless you and keep you!
25 The LORD let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!
26 The LORD look upon you kindly and give you peace!*

As we sang, we were asked to think of the people we know and loved. Then he asked us to picture the people we needed to forgive, and to keep their names on our hearts as we sang the same verse several more times. Looking around, there were many tearful faces.

Below is a link to hear the ‘Peace’ very powerful.

https://www.google.com/search?num=5....0...1c..64.psy-ab..1.1.96.6...96.DmNuMbtWEFk

 

[Rozellelily]

Sorry to hear that.
You profile mentions you ar serving a sentence in prison-does that mean you are allowed to have the Internet in person?

 

[Seeksadvice]

I just solve the problem by not being “kind” to anybody. All human interactions are, at their most basic level, a quid pro quo arrangement. I do/give/supply you with and expect you to reciprocate. The exchange can be material or immaterial (feelings, etc.), but there’s always some sort of exchange, or at least some benefit sought even if it’s only self-generated. Since altruism is a biological impossibility (no organism sacrifices itself for the benefit of another without expecting some benefit [either from others or from oneself]), the basic rules of bargained for exchange apply to human interactions. Positions change with different people and with different needs; you find out what works with somebody and go with it.

Eric: That just sounds silly. You’re giving them free labor after getting fired when you could have been earning money doing something else. I’d say they a really taking you to the cleaners.

Learner: nearly always see people saying that their sentence was “unfair.” Comes with the territory… don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. The “system” didn’t make you do whatever it is that you did.

 

[Seeksadvice]

Eh, stop kissing up to the convict. They’ll all tell the world how “unfair” the “system” is. There’s no “sorry to hear that.” He did what he did, and he is now facing the consequences for that. Whether he subjectively feels it is “fair” or not is irrelevant.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

Eric: That just sounds silly. You’re giving them free labor after getting fired when you could have been earning money doing something else. .

I worked in a care home, which means you should really care about the people you are supporting. Just because I am not getting paid to care for them, does not mean I have to stop caring.

A lot of disabled people cannot fend for themselves, fortunately there is altruism in this world, and they do get help that they could not pay for themselves.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

Eh, stop kissing up to the convict. They’ll all tell the world how “unfair” the “system” is. There’s no “sorry to hear that.” He did what he did, and he is now facing the consequences for that. Whether he subjectively feels it is “fair” or not is irrelevant.

There is good in all people, we all mess up in some way, in the end, kindness and compassion are the greater tools.

A couple of days ago, I met a man who had come out of prison after a thirteen year sentence. He said he wants to be a mentor and help young troubled youngsters, so they might not end up as he did.

A few years ago, we helped a teenage girl who was homeless and on drugs. She has since been to open university and is now helping drug addicts and homeless people.

 

[Learner1969]

Sorry to hear that.
You profile mentions you ar serving a sentence in prison-does that mean you are allowed to have the Internet in person?

I am currently in a Psychiatric hospital and allowed internet access, also most of the Apostles served time in prison, is “Seeksadvice” the local troll around here?

 

[Chris.Topher]

It’s easy to be kind to people who are kind to you.
Thankfully there are many kind and nice people, but occasionally you meet someone who is not so kind,is judgmental or a personifies a bit of an “obnoxious nature” towards you (or towards someone else in your presence) and then I find it harder to be kind.
I don’t say anything to them directly or about them,but inside I don’t always feel some nice thoughts.

Can this be overcame?

You’re looking at this the wrong way, as if life is a series of transactions, and you are looking to get something in exchange for your kindness.

But imagine if you were a doctor, and you said, “it’s so much easier to heal those who are healthy.” True enough, I suppose. I’m sure they’ll be very happy to hear the good news, and you’ll be happy to hear them being so happy.

But then what’s the point? What’s the purpose or meaning?

Kindness is not a currency that’s meant to be traded on some market, but it’s a tool to meant to changes loved and the world for the better. Like medicine, it fulfills it’s value when it heals the sick.

 

[Rozellelily]

I don’t know his individual experience/basis of his convictions so I don’t want to make presumptions on it.

There are a majority people in prison who should be there,but I’m sure there are also a few who were wrongly convicted.

 

[TK421]

It’s easy to be kind to people who are kind to you.
Thankfully there are many kind and nice people, but occasionally you meet someone who is not so kind,is judgmental or a personifies a bit of an “obnoxious nature” towards you (or towards someone else in your presence) and then I find it harder to be kind.
I don’t say anything to them directly or about them,but inside I don’t always feel some nice thoughts.

Can this be overcame?

The most important part is in our actions. If we respond to meanness with meanness we are setting ourselves up for a lifetime of failure, because do it once, and the second time will be easier.

As far as controlling our internal temperature, that takes time, but with the grace of God it gradually gets better too. You won’t notice yourself changing from day to day, just like you can’t notice a tree growing, but as long as you keep praying and practicing the virtues, you do get better. Even if a person makes your blood boil, you will get better with them through practice.

Having better control of ourselves means a deeper reality check:

1. The briefness of life. Think about how quickly you reached whatever age you are. Think about how quickly you’ll be dead in just a little longer. Think about somebody close to you who died. How they were in the world one day and the next… gone just like that. It will be the same for you.
2. Think the same about the person who offended you. All things are passing away.
3. Think about the spiritual lose of succumbing to the desire to be mean.
4. Think about how the other person is an immortal soul. How they are God’s child and Mary’s child (even if they’re estranged from them). Think about them as if they were your own son or daughter. Think about the various ways they were wronged in life or mistaught in life. The various things keeping them down. The way humans tend to become mean the same way that animals become mean: through abuse.
5. Never make any major decisions while in a foul mood. Everything in life is distorted through our mood, which is fickle. Pretend your mood is an elevator. Wait for your elevator to go back up.
6. Pray for their soul. For their conversion. Their eternal happiness.

Peace.