H
helpmelord
Guest
We are taught to treat others the way we wish to be treated…God wants us to say “yes” to him. I live every day of my life doing to and unto others as I would have others do and undo unto me, yet I’m to the point I’m afraid to provide acts of kindness to others because when I do, it seems like there is always something bad right around the corner waiting to happen to me for my good deeds. (No good deed goes unpunnished!) For instance, I was married for 13 years and I was a good and faithful wife and mother…this man was treated like a king and he repaid me by having an affair and marrying the woman he cheated with. I decided to remain single and devote my time to my children and God. My ex and his wife smoked around the children knowing they had asthema and they also had sex in front of them leading my oldest one to attempt suicide. My youngest almost died of meningitis…everything fell in my lap, my ex did nothing to help he only worked to make matters worse. He and is wife live very comfortably on a salary of $125,000 a year while I struggle (after losing my job due to the economy) on less than $24,000 a year. I have always had total responsiblity for the children while he just has a good time. One Sunday, I greeted at church for a 1/2 hour, passed out communion then proceeded to a nursing home where I passed out communion to the shut-ins for 2 hours. When I got back to the church, I had my car sitting in the parking lot with a flat tire. Two days later, my mother fell and cracked her head open, three days later I lost my job and two weeks later, my mother died. When I had a bad job in the past…the first job I had for a few years and I was going through a bitter divorce, the boss at this job was vicious to me. Every day I went home, locked myself in my room, cried and prayed that the next day would be better. Well, the next day was even worse than the day before. Every time I pray for something that would be good for me and my family, God always slams the door in my face while he askes something of me, we are expected to say yes right away and I do, but when I need something, I pray the rosary, say yes to God, etc., etc., etc., but I’m supposed to do it for like 20 years and after all that if God feels like it, he might give us a little bit of relief! I’m sorry if I sound so cold, but there were many a times I was greeting at church and I would have rather jumped off a bridge to my death because I have been so lost and depressed, but I glued a smile on my face and welcomed everyone entering the church including those who were responsible for my pain. I see people who have beautiful homes, new cars, vacations, big diamonds who never attend church who keep on getting. And here I am struggling to put food on the table and dispite my confusion continue to pray and thank God for what little we do have and yet I can’t even get enough numbers on my powerball to win a free ticket. My paster say’s you have to help with the miracle. Well, I do help, but God leaves me high and dry and all I see is him rewarding the ones who have pleanty and pounding those who are ready to give up on their faith for a lack of seeing God’s help.
I have had many rough times like this, but I think this gives you and idea of where I am going? If God is supposed to answer prayers if what you are asking for is for the good, Why then every time I pray that my son returns to Jesus (and believe me I have been saying rosaries for years) and he is as close to an athiest as you can get. He thinks it’s funny to punch 666 on the microwave and thinks the devil is cool. He is almost 19 years old. Why should I have to pray for the next 20 years to get this answered? Why should I have to pray and sacrifice for the next 30 years of my life hoping that one day I may be able to afford more than macaroni and cheese to feed my family??? Once, my ex was late on paying child support and I asked God…please, let my ex pay because I really need the money to support the family. Well, the next day I saw my ex made his $300 support payment and I was thanking God all the way to the bus stop only to arrive home and find a letter from child services. My ex wanted to regain his visitation and it was going to cost me $275 in court costs for this. So actually, I only received $25 support. My thank you was a bit premature! Does God enjoy playing mind games on those faithful to him? How can a good God treat someone like this. If a person did this to another person, it would be deeded evil so how can God be classified as good when he does evil things like this??? God screws with your mind and you are supposed to drop to your knees and kiss his feet. I am hanging onto my faith by a thread…please help me to believe and understand this insanity. Pull me up Lord!
I have had many rough times like this, but I think this gives you and idea of where I am going? If God is supposed to answer prayers if what you are asking for is for the good, Why then every time I pray that my son returns to Jesus (and believe me I have been saying rosaries for years) and he is as close to an athiest as you can get. He thinks it’s funny to punch 666 on the microwave and thinks the devil is cool. He is almost 19 years old. Why should I have to pray for the next 20 years to get this answered? Why should I have to pray and sacrifice for the next 30 years of my life hoping that one day I may be able to afford more than macaroni and cheese to feed my family??? Once, my ex was late on paying child support and I asked God…please, let my ex pay because I really need the money to support the family. Well, the next day I saw my ex made his $300 support payment and I was thanking God all the way to the bus stop only to arrive home and find a letter from child services. My ex wanted to regain his visitation and it was going to cost me $275 in court costs for this. So actually, I only received $25 support. My thank you was a bit premature! Does God enjoy playing mind games on those faithful to him? How can a good God treat someone like this. If a person did this to another person, it would be deeded evil so how can God be classified as good when he does evil things like this??? God screws with your mind and you are supposed to drop to your knees and kiss his feet. I am hanging onto my faith by a thread…please help me to believe and understand this insanity. Pull me up Lord!
hi helpmelord: you have the greatest faith of any one i have ever met here at CAF or any where else in my life time…most people had they lived your life would have gave up on God,but you certainly haven’t: not by a long shot.