Why does it seem.. that God asks so much of us, at times?

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MarieVeronica

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It seems that God is testing me… over and over. And I don’t know why. Can anyone help me?

In 2008, I left my job (of over 8 years) with a major supermarket chain… to care for my precious mother… who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. She needed constant attention, at every moment; I fed her, cared for her, changed her and slept on the floor, in a sleeping bag next to her bed, so that she wouldn’t get up… during the night and injure herself. The last 3 years of her life… I didn’t use my own bed.

In December 2012, I started to get an internal feeling… that she wouldn’t be with me for much longer. It was then, that I started to seek outside employment once again. I was only able to do this, with the help of a friend… who acted as a “sitter” for my mother… so I could get out, and apply for work. My plan, being… that if I found something right away… I’d hire my friend, as a full time sitter.

But it did not happen right away. I searched and searched, in vain… for employment outside my home.

This past June, my beloved mother was finally called by God… and released from her suffering. Although I was relieved for her… I had no time to grieve. Immediately, after burying her… I took up the job search, exactly where I had left off… just a couple weeks prior to her death. It was another 4 agonizing months… without any kind of income… or hope of employment. Buckets of tears, were shed. And I lost over 15 pounds, from sheer stress.

But last week, I was finally hired… back at my former job… after a solid month, of pestering them. And I’m thanking God… with all my heart. They took me back. And I will have a paycheck now.

But I am still being tested.

You see, I was so desperate for work (as many people are, in this time) that I was forced to accept hours which will be extremely difficult (and could end up being impossible) for me to keep. I will be working, 3:00 p.m. to 12 midnight.

At nearly age 55… I’m being asked to accept a shift, that would be hard on a 20 year old. In addition, the necessity to do this… could actually put my life in danger. I have extreme difficulty, driving in the dark… due to poor eyesight. Although I should have revealed this, at my interview; I did not… for fear I would not be hired back.

I’m now about a week away from starting back on the job. And my heart is filled with dread, over the decision I felt “forced” to make. I’ve searched and searched for God’s Will in all of this… but I’m having so much trouble, finding Him. I can not accept… that Our Good, Loving Lord… would ask me to take on something so difficult, that could actually be dangerous for me… (in the wake of all that I went through, with my poor mother). Why is God asking so much from me?

Please help me. How can I find God’s Will in all of this? And what practical suggestions… would you have… for dealing with the shift they’ve given me. How will I cope?

Thanks for reading and God bless.
 
It is amazing that you have gotten a job at your old place of work, and that you’ve gotten work so quickly.

If at all possible, can you find a shift mate to car pool with? You could offer to pay fuel expenses, which would make the arrangement more attractive to them.

Also, have a long-term plan of moving closer to work.

As you settle in and regain seniority, you should probably have access to better shifts.

Best wishes!
 
MarieVeronica said:
It seems that God is testing me… over and over. And I don’t know why. Can anyone help me?

In 2008, I left my job (of over 8 years) with a major supermarket chain… to care for my precious mother… who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. She needed constant attention, at every moment; I fed her, cared for her, changed her and slept on the floor, in a sleeping bag next to her bed, so that she wouldn’t get up… during the night and injure herself. The last 3 years of her life… I didn’t use my own bed.

In December 2012, I started to get an internal feeling… that she wouldn’t be with me for much longer. It was then, that I started to seek outside employment once again. I was only able to do this, with the help of a friend… who acted as a “sitter” for my mother… so I could get out, and apply for work. My plan, being… that if I found something right away… I’d hire my friend, as a full time sitter.

But it did not happen right away. I searched and searched, in vain… for employment outside my home.

This past June, my beloved mother was finally called by God… and released from her suffering. Although I was relieved for her… I had no time to grieve. Immediately, after burying her… I took up the job search, exactly where I had left off… just a couple weeks prior to her death. It was another 4 agonizing months… without any kind of income… or hope of employment. Buckets of tears, were shed. And I lost over 15 pounds, from sheer stress.

But last week, I was finally hired… back at my former job… after a solid month, of pestering them. And I’m thanking God… with all my heart. They took me back. And I will have a paycheck now.

But I am still being tested.

You see, I was so desperate for work (as many people are, in this time) that I was forced to accept hours which will be extremely difficult (and could end up being impossible) for me to keep. I will be working, 3:00 p.m. to 12 midnight.

At nearly age 55… I’m being asked to accept a shift, that would be hard on a 20 year old. In addition, the necessity to do this… could actually put my life in danger. I have extreme difficulty, driving in the dark… due to poor eyesight. Although I should have revealed this, at my interview; I did not… for fear I would not be hired back.

I’m now about a week away from starting back on the job. And my heart is filled with dread, over the decision I felt “forced” to make. I’ve searched and searched for God’s Will in all of this… but I’m having so much trouble, finding Him. I can not accept… that Our Good, Loving Lord… would ask me to take on something so difficult, that could actually be dangerous for me… (in the wake of all that I went through, with my poor mother). Why is God asking so much from me?

Please help me. How can I find God’s Will in all of this? And what practical suggestions… would you have… for dealing with the shift they’ve given me. How will I cope?

Thanks for reading and God bless.
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I feel very sorry for you now, since my grandfather, now 94, has severe Alzheimer’s. I thank God that you have your old job back, and pray that maybe your hours can change.

I’ll pray for you, sincerely (PM me if there’s any specific prayer you want me to pray).

Benedicat Deus
Latinitas
 
You have been through many trials and by the grace God you have conquered. The Lord has been with you through all your sacrifices.

The positive is that you have been able to get your job back. It is difficult for me to drive at night also, but I can do it. I pray while I drive and make it safely by the grace of God.

Go into this job with thanksgiving and joy. Be positive and you may find that you actually prefer this new shift. The Lord has not promised us a rose garden in this life but He has promised that He will be with us always.

I will keep you in my prayers MarieVeronica.
 
MarieVeronica said:
It seems that God is testing me… over and over. And I don’t know why. Can anyone help me?

In 2008, I left my job (of over 8 years) with a major supermarket chain… to care for my precious mother… who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. She needed constant attention, at every moment; I fed her, cared for her, changed her and slept on the floor, in a sleeping bag next to her bed, so that she wouldn’t get up… during the night and injure herself. The last 3 years of her life… I didn’t use my own bed.

In December 2012, I started to get an internal feeling… that she wouldn’t be with me for much longer. It was then, that I started to seek outside employment once again. I was only able to do this, with the help of a friend… who acted as a “sitter” for my mother… so I could get out, and apply for work. My plan, being… that if I found something right away… I’d hire my friend, as a full time sitter.

But it did not happen right away. I searched and searched, in vain… for employment outside my home.

This past June, my beloved mother was finally called by God… and released from her suffering. Although I was relieved for her… I had no time to grieve. Immediately, after burying her… I took up the job search, exactly where I had left off… just a couple weeks prior to her death. It was another 4 agonizing months… without any kind of income… or hope of employment. Buckets of tears, were shed. And I lost over 15 pounds, from sheer stress.

But last week, I was finally hired… back at my former job… after a solid month, of pestering them. And I’m thanking God… with all my heart. They took me back. And I will have a paycheck now.

But I am still being tested.

You see, I was so desperate for work (as many people are, in this time) that I was forced to accept hours which will be extremely difficult (and could end up being impossible) for me to keep. I will be working, 3:00 p.m. to 12 midnight.

At nearly age 55… I’m being asked to accept a shift, that would be hard on a 20 year old. In addition, the necessity to do this… could actually put my life in danger. I have extreme difficulty, driving in the dark… due to poor eyesight. Although I should have revealed this, at my interview; I did not… for fear I would not be hired back.

I’m now about a week away from starting back on the job. And my heart is filled with dread, over the decision I felt “forced” to make. I’ve searched and searched for God’s Will in all of this… but I’m having so much trouble, finding Him. I can not accept… that Our Good, Loving Lord… would ask me to take on something so difficult, that could actually be dangerous for me… (in the wake of all that I went through, with my poor mother). Why is God asking so much from me?

Please help me. How can I find God’s Will in all of this? And what practical suggestions… would you have… for dealing with the shift they’ve given me. How will I cope?

Thanks for reading and God bless.
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God will bless you for the care you gave your mother. Don’t weaken now. Take the job, get new glasses if you must. Take less traveled routes to work so you won’t meet so much traffic. And it will be dark only on the way home. You will get used to the shift, I worked it the last ten years of my employment, I retired in 2001. You get used to it. Most people don’t go to bed until Midnight any way. You will be fine.

Linus2nd
 
My mother has recently, at 57 years, done the same sort of thing. New job, and same sort of hours that you have taken. She works extremely hard, she works harder than many of the young people she works with. It is very hard on her, but she must make ends meet. God bless you for your courage. Try to be at peace. Try to accept what “is”. It is part of humility. Could you afford to take a cab or bus? I know it’s maybe impossible to bus at that hour, or maybe not safe. God Bless You.
 
Please, please do not put others at risk. I know it’s hard. But if new glasses can’t fix it, you would be putting everyone else on the road at risk. My dear husband sometimes runs out late at night to get things for our brand-new third son. The idea of an impaired driver makes my heart stop. Could you live with possibly hurting someone else? I know this sounds harsh. But please, I beg you, do not put others at risk.
 
God never asks more of us than we can endure, THOUGH THE DEVIL most certainly seeks to make us think and feel this is the case. This is why it seems so, We are all assailed with such feelings from time to time, it is Satan’s attempts at weakening our faith. Prayer and trust in God are our shields.
 
pentecostbaby said:
Please, please do not put others at risk. I know it’s hard. But if new glasses can’t fix it, you would be putting everyone else on the road at risk. My dear husband sometimes runs out late at night to get things for our brand-new third son. The idea of an impaired driver makes my heart stop. Could you live with possibly hurting someone else? I know this sounds harsh. But please, I beg you, do not put others at risk.
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Dear pentecostbaby. Yes, your words are indeed harsh. But the irony here, is that you and I… happen to be on the same page, about a person (like myself) with visual impairments… being out on the road, late at night. I agree with you, wholeheartedly. Someone like me, has no business on the road at that late, late hour.

But dear soul, I’ve been given absolutely no other choice… but to accept this job… with the horrendous hours.

If you and your husband are blessed enough to have an adequate income… if you can pay your bills, feed yourselves and your children… and keep the roof over your head… you are among a growing number of the “more rare” in our present society. And it’s only going to get worse.

Since my mothers death, I have touched real poverty.

I’ve suffered untold misery about how I’m going to keep the roof over my head, pay my limited utilities and put gas in my old, old car. And have wondered, week to week… where my next loaf of bread will be coming from. Let’s not even talk about how I’m going to get the now “mandated” health insurance. I went without it, for the 5 last years of my mothers illness.

I’ve begged and pleaded with my Pastor, to give me some small job… at the parish, within daylight hours. He knows my plight. Knows that I’m now alone in the world… he knows about my disability and he knows, that I’ve been given these horrendous hours; and even though I’ve offered to do the most humble and menial tasks (janitorial, laundry etc.)… to make a few dollars, they have not been able to help me… due to budgetary constraints.

In addition, I’ve been emotionally abused by a minister at the parish… who I formally trusted and looked upon, as a friend. This man brought Holy Communion to my mother and me… for 5 years. After she died, he told me… in these exact words “Sadly, you’ve dug yourself into a hole… caring for your mother for so long; Now, you might have no other choice… but to marry a rich, old man… to get by”. And he was serious… because he went on to tell me… “There are plenty of them, in this parish”. I’ve never been so humiliated and demeaned, in my life. I was speechless… at the insensitivity of this dialogue. But refuse to tell my Pastor, as this man has a family to support. I would not want to be responsible for getting him fired.

All of that aside… I’ve tried and tried, to understand WHY God is asking so much of me. All I can do, is TRY. Try to accept what appears to be God’s Will… Try to forgive the hurts inflicted… and TRY, as best I can… to drive safely.

Over the past decade… I’ve had challenge after challenge and hardship after hardship, thrown at me. Through it all… I managed, somehow… to keep my faith in God.

But I’m getting tired now. I’m losing faith and I’m losing hope… because it just keeps coming at me. Relentlessly and unceasingly. And no matter how hard, people try to help someone in my situation… unless you’ve been through it yourself, you can not possibly understand the desperation that would drive a person like me… to accept such a situation.

I ask for prayers. I ask for legal suggestions (if a lawyer happens to be reading). Thank you and God bless.
 
O MarieVeronica, if you only knew the pain that many of us have suffered. You may feel alone and abandoned, but how surprised you would be at the number of your brothers and sisters in Christ who have even less than you. We must be thankful for what we do have and not dwell on what we do not.

I feel your pain and I pray that you will accept God’s will. When we do that He rewards us with what is necessary in this life.

O Lord Jesus Christ, may MarieVeronica be granted great faith and trust in You.
 
I’m sorry to hear of your difficulties. Is there anything at all that can be done such as do you have any family, or are you eligible for government assistance of any kind? I’m sorry the employment situation is so difficult.
 
I’m sorry for your tough go of it, but please remember that God is watching over you. You have served your mother and that is wonderful, I commend you.
Is it possible, that once you get started you may find someone whom lives near you that you could share a ride? Wait and see what happens, and stay positive.
I’ve been a nurse for 30 years, and have done my share of shifts. 12 hours a day, where it’s dark when you come in and dark when you leave, no matter which shift you are on and when you get home you have a 6 hr. window to sleep and do it again. at age 57, I think of it as challenge placed on me by God. I must serve as God has instructed, with a smile, because so many are in such need.
We do what we must do, and God will provide. I will be praying for you.
 
KrazyKat said:
O MarieVeronica, if you only knew the pain that many of us have suffered. You may feel alone and abandoned, but how surprised you would be at the number of your brothers and sisters in Christ who have even less than you. We must be thankful for what we do have and not dwell on what we do not.

I feel your pain and I pray that you will accept God’s will. When we do that He rewards us with what is necessary in this life.

O Lord Jesus Christ, may MarieVeronica be granted great faith and trust in You.
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Thank you, dear soul. I realize, that I do indeed have blessings that so many others do not. In no way, do I question that.

I’m simply struggling with the number of obstacles and difficult situations… that have been thrown in my path. And how they seem to have increased, in the wake of my mothers death.

I cared for my mother many, many long years. And I’d do it all over again… if given the chance. Because I loved her, so greatly. But somehow, I thought… once she was safely in the Arms of God… that my own life would return to an easier pace. And that I’d find a place, to fit in. And keep living my own life… until it is my turn to go Home. That has not happened. Instead, I’ve run up against obstacle, after obstacle.

I’m so exhausted… so bone weary… from the year long job search (after 10 years, of caring for my precious mother)… and on top, of the grief of losing her… and the resulting struggle that I honestly know… I will not be able to keep these “swing shift” hours, for very long. It will catch up with me… quickly. I know my own limitations.

And I share the fear, expressed by our sister “pentecostbaby”. A person with my visual difficulties… has NO business being on the road, at that hour. But I have no idea… how I’m going to be able to get OUT of it… or AROUND it… without losing the job, that I have not even officially started yet. Bottom line. I must keep my mouth shut… for now. And do the best I can, with it. And pray… that I and anyone in my path, will be preserved from harm.

This morning, as I drove to Mass… tears were streaming down my face. I can’t even talk with Our Lord, now… without this happening. My nerves are that frayed.

Thank you all, for your prayers and words of understanding.
 
lapislazuli said:
I’m sorry to hear of your difficulties. Is there anything at all that can be done such as do you have any family, or are you eligible for government assistance of any kind? I’m sorry the employment situation is so difficult.
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No, I have no family nearby. I did, when we first moved here. But they long since abandoned my mother and I… and returned to our home state. And left me alone, to care for her in her final illness. Now that she’s gone… I’m by myself.

Without having had health insurance… and not being able to have a doctor examine my eyes… and give me a written diagnosis, about their condition… I doubt I would qualify for any type of Government assistance (I’m assuming, that you mean Social Security benefits?). Those are extremely hard to get… without the assistance of a doctor. Who can classify a person as “disabled”.

But thank you, for the suggestions. I will try to keep them in mind.
 
Canuck000 said:
I’m sorry for your tough go of it, but please remember that God is watching over you. You have served your mother and that is wonderful, I commend you.
Is it possible, that once you get started you may find someone whom lives near you that you could share a ride? Wait and see what happens, and stay positive.
I’ve been a nurse for 30 years, and have done my share of shifts. 12 hours a day, where it’s dark when you come in and dark when you leave, no matter which shift you are on and when you get home you have a 6 hr. window to sleep and do it again. at age 57, I think of it as challenge placed on me by God. I must serve as God has instructed, with a smile, because so many are in such need.
We do what we must do, and God will provide. I will be praying for you.
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Thank you, dear soul. In my opinion, nurses are heroes. If you’re doing work with shifts like that, I am in awe. But from what you wrote, you’ve been doing it for many years… and are probably somewhat used to it, by now. Not that you don’t get tired. I’m sure you do… but at least, you’re probably accustomed to it.

That won’t be the case for me. I’ve never in my entire working years… had to succumb to hours like that. And at this age… it’s not going to be easy, to take it on. I honestly do not know… if I can do it. Hence my dread…

Your prayers are greatly appreciated. God bless you, for all you do for others.
 
I’m going through not the same thing but a trial in the sense I can barely support myself have no backup plan health issues and cry all the time. Although if God brought me a nice husband to take care of me I’d be the first to say I need a man. But I’m so messed up from abuse right now I can’t get one which is awful.

Anyways don’t have much to offer in the way of advice but I will say pray to my go to buddies St. Jude St. Rita and St. Philomena for impossible causes. Without those guys…I dunno where I would be.

You’re thinking in the wreckage of the future. One day at a time. I think it’s easy to think everyone else out there has ideal health and stability etc or at least that there is a line on the side of normal that they never cross and that once I crossed it that’s it for me. I was going down that path w my abuse survival and an injury. That is the lie from Satan. Don’t believe the odds. God can do whatever He wants and just rely on His grace.

I just accept everything as it comes. Live one moment at a time and do baby steps in right direction.
 
I will pray for you, I realize you are worn out and weary. There are times in our lives when we have to live moment to moment. Remember "I know both how to be brought low, and I know how to abound: (everywhere, and in all things I am instructed) both to be full, and to be hungry; both to abound, and to suffer need. I can do all these things in Christ who strengthens me " Phil 4:12-13

You worry about handling a shift you haven’t started yet. Do not talk yourself into believing its not possible. Trust that God loves you, cares for you and He will take care of you.
 
MarieVeronica said:
Thank you, dear soul. In my opinion, nurses are heroes. If you’re doing work with shifts like that, I am in awe. But from what you wrote, you’ve been doing it for many years… and are probably somewhat used to it, by now. Not that you don’t get tired. I’m sure you do… but at least, you’re probably accustomed to it.

That won’t be the case for me. I’ve never in my entire working years… had to succumb to hours like that. And at this age… it’s not going to be easy, to take it on. I honestly do not know… if I can do it. Hence my dread…

Your prayers are greatly appreciated. God bless you, for all you do for others.
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I honestly can’t tell you how much admiration I have for you in this trial right now. Remember, that this is truly a valley of tears, as we say in the Salve Regina.

I can’t honestly offer much advice, since I don’t know you well, but I will dedicate a Rosary for you tonight.

Benedicat Deus
Latinitas
 
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