Why does my Catholic husband detest the rosary so much?

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I ask you this then .

If a healthy man can have children but decides not to have children is that a sin ?
 
No that is a fair choice… And it will reflect in his abstaining from sex, at least some of the time… if he follows church teaching.
 
I hope you take courage and keep praying. Marriage is not easy, that is for sure. Don’t be disheartened. Keep up your prayer life and especially the rosary. God bless <3
 
So I am a sinner for having the snip ?

I will ask my local priest about that. Cheers
 
It’s increasingly difficult in these times for Christians to lean upon the rosary if they haven’t had an experience of the Virgin Mary in their life till now…
 
I wasn’t intending their prayer life to be confrontational. When we called him, it was late and I hadn’t even realized they were still holding their rosaries. They keep their rosaries under their pillows at night and they’re learning how to say the Hail Mary. I was exhausted and just wanted to do him the favor of calling him. He caught a glimpse into our nightly routine and apparently didn’t like it.
 
We’re all sinners. Something can only be a sin if we are fully aware of the Church’s teachings at the time, yet still choose to do our own will and not God’s. If you weren’t aware the procedure was sinful when you had it done, I doubt you will be held accountable. Yes, it is a good idea to speak with a priest. We are all trying our best on this journey and it definitely isn’t easy being a practicing Catholic, especially in this day and age. God bless.
 
Of course it’s a sin to have a vasectomy. But you can ask forgiveness for it. You don’t have to rest in that spot of feeling angry that it’s a sin.
 
Please don’t fully reconcile until you have sorted out all the issues between you. It’s clear that his attitude towards religion hasn’t changed, and it’s not fair to you or your children to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him. I’d also be very concerned about his attitude towards sex and his willingness to blame you for everything (there seems to be a pattern here). And the rest of his family getting involved in things that are patently not their business. You don’t owe them any kind of explanation.

Are you seeking help for your anxiety and depression? Is he seeking help for his narcissism? I recommend you go to counselling, by yourself, to discuss your marriage issues with someone objective. It’s not a good idea to attend counselling with someone narcissistic.
 
Cool.

Also remember, the Rosary is a private devotion, he does not have to have that particular devotion. Bring it up with your counselor and keep praying for peace!
 
englands123 said:
So I am a sinner for having the snip ?
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Not JUST for having “the snip”, but every time you have had sex since then you are sinning.
Therese20 said:
It’s bad enough we’ve at times used the withdrawal method.
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That, too, is a sin, as it is something actively done to prevent conception, not just minimize the chances as with NFP.

Let’s put it this way. You may have heard of Onan, who G_D killed “for spilling his seed on the ground.” (You can find the entire story of Judah and Tamar in Genesis 38.) For centuries, that was used as an argument against masturbation, to the point where in some places masturbation is called “Onanism”.

Most scholars today, however, think that “spilling his seed on the ground” meant he was practicing what today we would call “withdrawal”, a form of contraception. Onan had been commanded by his father Judah to followi the law, which required that since Tamar’s husband Er died before producing a son, the next brother of the husband (Onan) would have sex with his sister-in-law until she produced a male. The child would be listed in the genealogies as being the child of the dead brother. Onan knew that if he refused, Tamar would be allowed to accept a husband from another tribe, and all of Er’s flocks and possessions would go with Tamar. By practicing withdrawal, Onan was fulfilling the letter of the law (which was letting Onan keep Er’s flocks, etc.) but violating the reason God made the law.

God, for reasons we won’t know until we reach Heaven, wanted the line of Judah to continue through Tamar. God killed Onan not because he masturbated, but by practicing contraception he directly interfered with God’s plans for salvation history. In practicing contraception via withdrawal, you are actively interfering with any plans God may have had for any children that may have resulted from that intercourse.

Regardless of whatever else is happening with your husband, his reaction to seeing your kids holding rosaries makes me think something demonic is involved, actively working to cause your husband to separate himself from God. Keep praying the rosary for him, and add prayers like the St. Michael prayer for his protection against any demon trying to take advantage of him.
 
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Muzhik said:
Not JUST for having “the snip”, but every time you have had sex since then you are sinning.
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No, he should confess the vasectomy, but he is not required to get a reversal or abstain.
 
It’s just confusing for me that someone who at one point contemplated the priesthood would feel unrest about the rosary.
I have sought counseling for my anxiety and depression and even took medication for almost a year. He refuses to help himself as he’s convinced I’m the source of all problems.
 
It seems he’s unhappy about many aspects of religion, not just the rosary. As long as he blames you for everything, refuses to get help, won’t work through issues with religion and his family, do not reconcile with him. You and your children don’t deserve to live in such a poisonous atmosphere.

I’m glad you have been getting help for your own health. Keep going with it. Look after yourself.
 
Elf01 said:
No, he should confess the vasectomy, but he is not required to get a reversal or abstain.
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I beg to differ: every sexual act after the vasectomy is one that COULD have been open to life, but is now impossible, just as if he were wearing a condom.
 
Therese20 said:
He has always been very private with me and resents my offers to go to confession together or pray together. When I’ve asked him to pray for me in the past, he would often retort, “pray for yourself and I’ll pray for myself.”
This all hit me with a ton of bricks as when we were dating, he was contemplating the priesthood, helping out with RCIA and would go with me to confession and sometimes adoration. I always did notice another side to him, but could never put my finger on it and thought I was being paranoid. While married, he enjoyed serving on the altar as an acolyte, and would often assist at three masses on a given Sunday. However, it seemed it was more for praise as when he wouldn’t be recognized, he would become completely turned off and stop going. He refuses to talk to a priest and our current pastor and him do not get along. Parishioners look on me with pity and it’s embarrassing yet confusing. I know he has issues from his childhood, but he denies it even though he’s opened up to me before. I feel as though prayer is my only solution at this point and want his soul to be saved as much as I do my own.
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I’m sorry you are dealing with this. However, based on what you write here, something sounds off.

I’m just guessing, but it sounds like something MIGHT have happened to your husband to damage his faith.

Perhaps (once things are better with your relationship) you might want to straight out ask him if something happened. Sometimes, it only takes a bad priest to say one thing or for a person to misinterpret one thing to damage their faith - esp when their faith is built around the humans instead of on Jesus & His sacraments.
 
Muzhik said:
I beg to differ: every sexual act after the vasectomy is one that COULD have been open to life, but is now impossible, just as if he were wearing a condom.
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That’s not how it works. He’s not actively preventing conception during that sexual act. Conception being unlikely is a consequence of his previous sin. Two different things. Now, if he can reverse that and has the means to do so yet he chooses not to precisely because he doesn’t want to be open to life…that’s an issue. But having sex after the procedure is not the sin.

By your logic, someone who’s infertile cannot have sex because he/she knows that that sexual act cannot be open to life. But we know the Church disagrees on this.
 
Muzhik said:
I beg to differ:
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As your position conflicts with constant church teaching, I suggest you search the archives on this.

In short, it has already been done. There is not a requirement to undergo a surgery and risk to attempt to reverse it, nor to abstain.
 
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