Sadowah, I don’t know if any of this is helpful. It’s hard to give precise (name removed by moderator)ut about what to do. I won’t nitpick your words; our words often give people the wrong impression. Even people with an superior command of their language edit their writings over and over again because they say things they didn’t mean to say, or get at points they didn’t mean to get at, or they are easily misread.
I think I know what you’re getting at; it seems to comes from fear of temptation around others. Maybe they’re not only not helping you, but are insensitive and making it harder, whether they fully understand they’re doing this or not. So maybe that’s why you feel an inclination to set them straight.
It could well seem like the people around you are minimizing the traps of gluttony, or ignoring them completely, while you are taking it seriously since you are tackling it head on. Maybe they are minimizing gluttony, and maybe they aren’t.
What I do know is we’re supposed to focus on ourselves for the largest part. You probably know, then, to control what you can control in these situations or avoid them to the extent you can, if you can’t control them somewhat. I understand your frustration.
What’s good for certain, is that you recognized a problem with temperance in yourself. If someone tells you gluttony isn’t a big deal, you may be obligated to point out that the catechism is clear that it is, but leave it at that. (?)
That’s actually not judgmental. The way I understand it (correct me if I’m wrong!), being judgmental involves presuming to know what is in someone’s heart like God does. If there’s more to it than that, someone please tell me.
It’s good to recognize sin for what it is, though. Jesus followed his teaching about planks in our eyes, with this:Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam in thy own eye, and then shalt thou see to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. 6 Give not that which is holy to dogs; neither cast ye your pearls before swine…
So how is that not judging? Did Jesus contradict himself and tell us not to judge, and then to judge? The study Bible notation says this about the planks-in-our-eyes verses in Matthew 7:This is not a prohibition against recognizing the faults of others, which would hardly be compatible with [these verses I quoted], but against passing judgment in a spirit of arrogance, forgetful of one’s own faults.
Fraternal correction can become an obligation, then. It’s strongly advised in spiritual books to give a second thought as to whether it is actually warranted, because we think it is warranted in too many cases where it isn’t. We never want to stray from focusing primarily on our own faults, by becoming preoccupied with others. We need the planks out of our own eyes first. Fraternal correction is to be looked upon as a reluctant obligation, where it is warranted, and fewer occasions call us to do it than we think, and still fewer people are called to do it, according to Growth in Holiness.
I think we’ll be okay if we make the primary focus ourselves and use fraternal correction very sparingly, considering if it is even warranted.
I don’t know how much this can help, but if anyone has any further insight, I’d love to read it.
You should see my hands–they look dry and wrinkly and I’m only 33. Being in cold temperatures is painful even when I’m dressed appropriately–because my body temp is low, because my metabolism is low. I will get painfully cold extremities when nobody else does. I eat very little; my husband’s always saying I need to eat more than I do but then I tell him, “Do I look like I’m starving?” 