Why does unscripted prayer make me so uncomfortable?

  • Thread starter Thread starter TXCrdleCatholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

TXCrdleCatholic

Guest
I feel really silly for even asking this question, but praying aloud aside from the Our Father or Hail Mary in Mass makes me SUPER uncomfortable. We grew up saying the exact same prayer before meals and before bed as a family, all scripted, and aside from Mass we never really prayed together other than those times. I pray every night when I’m in bed, but it’s to myself and the exact same ‘Thank you for everything you’ve given me’ prayer that is only a few sentences long.

Am I alone here? I find myself thinking there is something wrong with me for feeling so stupid when I pray. I’ve tried it with my husband (non Catholic, doesn’t pray aloud either) a couple of times and just feel like I’m not doing it right.

How am I supposed to be this spiritual wife praying for her husband to convert to Catholicism if I’m uncomfortable even doing a basic unscripted prayer? I want to set a good example for my family and I’m failing at that. Is it pride? I have no idea why but I want to get past it and be a person who can pray aloud in front of other people and my family!

I want to be able to do this not only for myself and my prayer life and relationship with God, but for my husband and my son.

Any advice or tips is appreciated!!!
 
It might be that praying that way with others is not for you.

(just like public speaking is not for everyone…)

Pray that way…alone. And try -“short” prayers.

Alone with God alone…
 
My wife will pray in her own words …alone in personal prayer. As will I. In addition to say the Our Father, the Psalms etc.

When together we pray together we use prayers I wrote for us (short) or that we draw from the Liturgy etc. But they are the same or are the a Litany or Psalms etc.
 
I LOVE this from frjacquesphilippe.com/theme/prayer:
In starting to pray, alone, facing God, in our room, or in an oratoy before the Blessed Sacrament, we must believe with our whole heart that God is present. Regardless of what we may or may not eel, the preparation we have or haven’t made, how good we are or aren’t at stringing beautiful thoughts together— regardless of our whole inner state—God is there, with us, looking at us and loving us.
  • Time for God, p.14
 
I ordered Time for God for my iPad. The Amazon reviews are great too. Thank you for your suggestions!!
 
You don’t have to pray that way. I don’t like it a whole lot, either…it feels less like a prayer to me, and more like trying to fill up empty air with words. (Which is exactly what some people do, ironically, hence coming much closer to the “vain repetition” that the Bible warns about than any Catholic, scripted prayer ever dreamed of doing. But I digress.)

I find more often that these days, if I’m not praying a regular prayer out loud, I’m contemplating Jesus in silence. And it’s wonderful.
 
Do you pray in your own words silently to God?
Would you consider yourself a friend of God?
Talk to God as you would a friend.
Adore Him, confess to Him, tell Him about your feelings, your thoughts, your worries, things that make you upset. Talk to Him about your friends and your family.
Confess your sins to Him. Thank Him for all the good things in your life every day.
Just make time for Him.
I would think that when you can do that privately, then you could do it publicly.
I hope my thoughts aren’t offensive.
 
Lochias said:
You don’t have to pray that way. I don’t like it a whole lot, either…it feels less like a prayer to me, and more like trying to fill up empty air with words. (Which is exactly what some people do, ironically, hence coming much closer to the “vain repetition” that the Bible warns about than any Catholic, scripted prayer ever dreamed of doing. But I digress.)

I find more often that these days, if I’m not praying a regular prayer out loud, I’m contemplating Jesus in silence. And it’s wonderful.
Click to expand...
I totally agree with these thoughts.
I love to pray with friends. I like to pray for A LONG TIME with friends and family (not married, so have yet to experience that kind of intimacy)
When I pray the rosary with a group of friends, we share with each other our prayer needs, then take turns praying the rosary. It can take more than half an hour. I really like stretching prayer out. 🙂

When I’m with my evangelical friend, I want so badly to pray a long time with her. She likes to pray A LONG TIME, using her own words, and frankly, it’s repetetive, boring, definitely from her heart, but it keeps the focus on what she is going to say, how profound and inspiring her words are, rather than just settling in, and praying together with joined hearts for the same needs, using the rosary as a ‘tool.’
She’s a mature Christian, and I really want to share this with her.
When praying with her, I pray my needs, and then I’m done.

Just some thoughts from a cradle Catholic who learned to pray like an evangelical, then discovered the rosary, and never wants to go back to pray like an evangelical again!
 
I, too, feel more comfortable with scripted prayer. In my pastoral group, they want us to pray “off the cuff” as it were, but I prefer saying the traditional prayers, myself.
 
TXCrdleCatholic said:
I feel really silly for even asking this question, but praying aloud aside from the Our Father or Hail Mary in Mass makes me SUPER uncomfortable. We grew up saying the exact same prayer before meals and before bed as a family, all scripted, and aside from Mass we never really prayed together other than those times. I pray every night when I’m in bed, but it’s to myself and the exact same ‘Thank you for everything you’ve given me’ prayer that is only a few sentences long.

Am I alone here?
Click to expand...
Not at all. Welcome to the club. 👍
I find myself thinking there is something wrong with me for feeling so stupid when I pray.
Click to expand...
Not at all! In fact, the tradition of the Church has “scripted prayers” for a wide variety of occasions; this mania for improvisation is a Protestant idea, and not a very good one either. The Ave has been recited by Saints and holy men and women for centuries; the “I wanna be Jimmy Swaggart” prayer is, honestly, spiritual mediocrity.
I’ve tried it with my husband (non Catholic, doesn’t pray aloud either) a couple of times and just feel like I’m not doing it right.
Click to expand...
I can understand why you might feel that way, but take comfort: there’s nothing wrong with it.
How am I supposed to be this spiritual wife praying for her husband to convert to Catholicism if I’m uncomfortable even doing a basic unscripted prayer?
Click to expand...
Because Catholicism is not an unscripted religion.
I want to set a good example for my family and I’m failing at that. Is it pride? I have no idea why but I want to get past it and be a person who can pray aloud in front of other people and my family!
Click to expand...
Take it slow. Prayer, like all good things, requires practice - and reading some of the great prayers in the Church’s treasury is perhaps your best bet for inspiration. 👍
 
RPRPsych said:
I can understand why you might feel that way, but take comfort: there’s nothing wrong with it.
Click to expand...
Truth. I have heard some very beautiful, unscripted prayer, and even the stuff that’s more monotonously repetitive is still prayer, if meant well and as such.

(I still can’t stand ten million instances of “Father God, we just…” or the like, to this very day, though.)
 
The point is intimacy with Christ. Are you communing with the Lord through scripted prayer? What about your own prayer needs? Surely you have them.
There is a place for both, and the Church has always acknowledged the need for both.
 
TXCrdleCatholic said:
I ordered Time for God for my iPad. The Amazon reviews are great too. Thank you for your suggestions!!
Click to expand...
He also appeared on EWTN a couple of weeks ago (it may still be available on their website-- for EWTN Live)

And he has another book on prayer said to be coming out next month.
 
TXCrdleCatholic,

Talk WITH God just as you talk with your spouse when you have an intimate conversation with him, i.e. first you talk, then you listen. We cradle Catholics were brought up on scripted prayer and that’s good, 'cause we learned a lot of prayers that way. However, sometimes they just don’t get into the detail we want to share with God and that’s where spontaneous prayer comes in.

Don’t be afraid of what you sound like to someone else, or even to yourself: just start talking, expressing yourself as best you can. The reason any of us don’t like to speak out in unscripted prayer is PRIDE, one of the seven deadly sins. Be willing to humble yourself and speak to God out loud and off the cuff.

I will pray (out loud and extemporaneously) for you and your husband.

🙂
 
TXCrdleCatholic said:
I feel really silly for even asking this question, but praying aloud aside from the Our Father or Hail Mary in Mass makes me SUPER uncomfortable. We grew up saying the exact same prayer before meals and before bed as a family, all scripted, and aside from Mass we never really prayed together other than those times. I pray every night when I’m in bed, but it’s to myself and the exact same ‘Thank you for everything you’ve given me’ prayer that is only a few sentences long.

Am I alone here? I find myself thinking there is something wrong with me for feeling so stupid when I pray. I’ve tried it with my husband (non Catholic, doesn’t pray aloud either) a couple of times and just feel like I’m not doing it right.

How am I supposed to be this spiritual wife praying for her husband to convert to Catholicism if I’m uncomfortable even doing a basic unscripted prayer? I want to set a good example for my family and I’m failing at that. Is it pride? I have no idea why but I want to get past it and be a person who can pray aloud in front of other people and my family!

I want to be able to do this not only for myself and my prayer life and relationship with God, but for my husband and my son.

Any advice or tips is appreciated!!!
Click to expand...
I have another suggestion for a good book to help you … The Ordinary Path To Holiness by R Richard. Explains different forms of prayer you may not even be aware of that would help you.
 
ClearWater said:
I, too, feel more comfortable with scripted prayer. In my pastoral group, they want us to pray “off the cuff” as it were, but I prefer saying the traditional prayers, myself.
Click to expand...
Me, too.

A lot of times unscripted prayer becomes a rambling statement of loosely connected stream of consciousness phrases.
 
“Pray as you can not as you can’t” someone said to me. I like writing down my prayer as a long letter and pour out all my heart feelings, worries, intentions,etc I then hold the letter as I pray the rosary. …it feels like a lovely letter to a close Father,Mother,Brother that is instantly read/heard !
I like praying with my husband but at first it felt awkward but not now. When we are in deep conversation together we turn our concerns into prayer on the spot spontaneously. Also we have changed over time and rely the most on praying the rosary. Xx
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top