Why does unscripted prayer make me so uncomfortable?

[RPRPsych]

Me, too.

A lot of times unscripted prayer becomes a rambling statement of loosely connected stream of consciousness phrases.

That’s a wonderfully succinct (and accurate) way of putting it. Thank you.

 

[Lochias]

Me, too.

A lot of times unscripted prayer becomes a rambling statement of loosely connected stream of consciousness phrases.

Yup. Punctuated with a ton of stop-gap phrases like “Father God” and “Jesus we just…”. Sometimes it sounds like the prayer keeps forgetting who they’re speaking to.

 

[glendab]

Well, your heart could be telling you something. You do not need to pray the way everyone else does. You need to pray though. If you are more comfortable with Mental Prayer, and that’s what it is called when you use scripted pre-written prayers such as the Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet, then use it. There is one caution I can think of though, if you aren’t asking God for your daily needs because it seems outside to box, then there is a lack.

Not all people are called to all types of prayer. The Catholic Church has a regular treasure trove of prayer. Explore, get some good books and read up on the subject. Read your Bible prayerfully - that type of prayer is called Lecto Divinia. When you are in a situation when others are praying in a way that makes you uncomfortable, just lower your head and close your eyes and don’t worry. The thought police are not going to reveal to the group what you’re thinking and if the group insists you do as they do, find a more supportive group to pray with.

Try praying the Rosary with a friend informally after tea one afternoon. Things might grow just from that little seed.

Never think you are praying wrong. If your intention is to reach out to God then you are doing it correctly.

Glenda

 

[on_the_hill]

Yup. Punctuated with a ton of stop-gap phrases like “Father God” and “Jesus we just…”. Sometimes it sounds like the prayer keeps forgetting who they’re speaking to.

Every year at the Cub Scout Blue & Gold Banquet, the Cubmaster’s father-in-law says “grace.” He is a Methodist minister. You’d think that after a lifetime of reciting public prayers he’d have a sense of what he’s going to say before he stand up.

 

[hembergb]

Actually, I like to pray both unscripted prayer and scripted prayer.

For me it depends on the occasion.

However, it took me a while before I was comfortable with praying to Jesus without saying something scripted.

It was as I got to know Him more and love Him more that I started to talk (pray) to Him without falling back on scripted prayers. Now I talk to Him throughout the day, and it isn’t a problem when I make a specific time to pray to speak to Him directly. I never stop using scripted prayer though, like the rosary or divine mercy.

One thing I would encourage you to do is to spend some time if you are able in front of the Blessed Sacrament - all the better in adoration. At first I used to do this and pray with scripted prayers, but after a while, I found that I couldn’t really pray but just gazed at Him in the Eucharist. It was like saying anything just seemed out of place and I experienced a closeness and intimacy with Him that no words could describe.

 

[Lochias]

Every year at the Cub Scout Blue & Gold Banquet, the Cubmaster’s father-in-law says “grace.” He is a Methodist minister. You’d think that after a lifetime of reciting public prayers he’d have a sense of what he’s going to say before he stand up.

Indeed. I have many thoughts on the matter, but they are not particularly charitable nor is this thread the right place for them.

At the very least, I think that long, rambling prayers that ultimately come to no point other than “Thanks, God, we love you and we ask for your blessings in our lives” are a waste of everyone’s time past a certain point. Simply saying the portion in quotation marks with gentle reverence and a true spirit of thankfulness would suffice just as well.

 

[RPRPsych]

Indeed. I have many thoughts on the matter, but they are not particularly charitable nor is this thread the right place for them.

At the very least, I think that long, rambling prayers that ultimately come to no point other than “Thanks, God, we love you and we ask for your blessings in our lives” are a waste of everyone’s time past a certain point. Simply saying the portion in quotation marks with gentle reverence and a true spirit of thankfulness would suffice just as well.

 

[Granum_Frumenti]

I agree largely with what others have posted.

Another suggestion for “public,” spoken, and unscripted prayer is to start with scripted models.

We grew up saying the exact same prayer before meals and before bed as a family, all scripted, and aside from Mass we never really prayed together other than those times. I pray every night when I’m in bed, but it’s to myself and the exact same ‘Thank you for everything you’ve given me’ prayer that is only a few sentences long.

What can you learn from what you already have learned?

And if you have a reliable store of model prayers–there are good collections out there–there are exemplars and basic shapes of spoken prayer that can serve us well in writing and even improvising our own prayers. The fruits must be informed by truth, enlivened by the spirit of sincere prayer, and formed in love, but a good structure doesn’t hurt.

The rest of this post concerns a specific example.

Once I realized that the original post primarily concerns that type of prayer (instead of “private,” unspoken prayer), one of the first things to come to mind was a memory of someone who described a minister as good with improvising collects. If you’re unfamiliar with that term, think of the “opening prayer” at Mass.

For example,

February 13, 2014 - Thursday, 5th Week in Ordinary Time:

Collect (Opening Prayer):
“Keep your family safe, O Lord, with unfailing care,
that, relying solely on the hope of heavenly grace,
they may be defended always by your protection.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.”

Two of the best-known examples are the concluding prayer of the Angelus and the prayer “O God, whose only-begotten Son…” that more often than not appears around the end of the rosary. Usually litanies will conclude with a collect.

I could go on and on about the structure of a collect, but I mention it here primarily as an example of a model. I can see why that minister, especially with enough practice, could get good at composing collects: some skill greatly improves the finished product, but the basic structure is not unduly difficult to master.

Of course, it doesn’t even have to be strictly followed in extemporaneous prayer. This post, at its heart, is not mainly about collects. I harbor no misconceptions that all spoken prayers should be shaped like collects, but an economy of structure and expression avoids long, drawn-out strings of words that spread too much and say too little. And there are other shapes that will do the same thing and do other things that Your Own Prayers should do (such as lead others along when praying in common).