Sorry to say, I typically come here with concerns and questions about my faith.
Today’s is, why do I seem never able to find peace, even when I’m doing all the ‘right’ things? I have tried hard for 20 years to live my faith. I have said the daily Rosary (at times better than others) and fasted weekly for 15+ years (except when pregnant). In the last couple of years, I am very close to monthly confession. I recently went to Medjugorje and since coming back am saying 15 decades daily, fast twice a week, and am reading Scripture almost daily. (I’d been working on all of these things before going, too.) I teach my children the faith, and strive to follow the harder and less popular teachings. I think I’ve done a fairly good job of forgiving people and moving on.
But I do not feel at peace. I’m not sure if it makes any difference to post the specific difficulties in my life (after all, we all have difficulties), but I have finally had it with several family members and a family dynamic that seems to view me as the problem child and scapegoat. I posted many months ago about a sister who went into rages at me and my children. (The general advice here was to stay away from such out of control behavior). Since then, I’ve been informed by my father that she is justified in treating me that way, that I must be a hypocrite since my non-church going sisters ‘dont’ have these problems,’ that I’m not a very good mother (actually, most people think my kids are quite well-behaved, but my father has unrealistic expectations for kids, not to mention the difficult situation into which they were put), and so on. When I tried to point out that there were several other factors, he launched into yelling, too, and wouldn’t even consider that maybe there’s more going on than that my children and I are just horrible. He said the reason I don’t go off on people is because the rest of them never do anything annoying (no, I don’t go into rages because I’ve worked hard to be patient and accepting.)
So today my sister sent an apology of sorts (I could have handled it more maturely), 16 months after screaming insults at me over Christmas dinner. In the past, every time someone has decided to play nice, I’ve been right back there, genuinely forgiving and putting it in the past. This includes incidents of domestic violence from my father even into my adult years, and lots of verbal and emotional abuse and scapegoating. (He slaps my mother and rips phones out of the wall, and tells me it’s my fault the neighbors think badly of him and he’s got marriage problems, as one example among many.)
This time, I’m angry. I don’t want a relationship with these people. Right at this moment, I don’t even like them. I don’t really foresee anything changing if I go back and play nice. My sister has not addressed her lifetime habit of tempers. To the best of my knowledge, they are still all scapegoating.
What is the Christian response in this situation?
ETA: I just re-read and realized I’ve asked two completely separate questions. Why am I not finding peace despite doing everything God has asked to the best of my ability, and where do I go from here with these family issues?
It’s something I’m working on, and I think your suggestions will help.
of my post)
… You’re doing SO MUCH of what God and Our Lady would be pleased with. A MOM? With all the responsibilities of daily life - and you fast and say 15 decades of the Rosary, etc.? I’m not wise in these matters - Just be at peace that you’re trying. You’re answering so many Heavenly requests that many of us fail to do. Sit back, take a deep breath - and ask God to give you His Peace. And ask Our Lady’s intercession for all your prayers. (and I had a last-minute thought to ask you to pray for this poor poster…perhaps, inspired???)
). Cherish the peace when it comes and remember that it WILL be back when it leaves. And remember that you have a family in the Body of Christ, too. :hug1: