Why doesn't God help me?

[Irish_Hare]

Hello, I need some advice and guidance.

I have pretty severe OCD that affects my whole life. I’m not currently able to work. I’m still pretty young, single, and intelligent.

I’ve had ocd for 20 years. I’ve prayed and asked for God’s help as well as seeking professional help often, including presently.

But one problem I have with God is His lack of help. Let me explain. If I was out walking and came across a little turtle lying on his back, I’d turn him back onto his feet. Or if I saw a woodlouse in the woods, also on his back, I would watch him for a few moments and if he couldn’t get back on his feet, then I’d help him by turning him over.

Why doesn’t God do this for me? Why does He watch in silence as I flounder?

Of course some would reply that God doesn’t do violence to our free will, but that’s the point - I don’t feel like I am free! My free will is compromised by a mental illness and I NEED a direct intervention from the Almighty.

A priest once asked me on retreat what more could God do to prove His love for you? I said that if I was God, I’d perform more miracles.

---

I also struggle with trusting God in light of the different faces of God that Catholicism presents, with two extremes of either the Good Shepherd or the vengeful Jesus of Revelation, the various harsh parables where Jesus presents His character and traits to us, and even in the Diary of St. Faustina. I find it difficult to trust a God who seems to present so many different faces. I don’t know who I’m dealing with or what mood they are in at any particular moment. I’ll give an example. I struggle also with loneliness and impurity. So when I fall, am I dealing with a God who is extremely angry with me or a God who is loving me especially in my sin? The point is, I don’t know, and the Catholic Faith seems to present both types, so it’s almost like take your pick.

 

[MichaelHowling]

There is no “take your pick” with God. As you come to know Him deeper, He is the same forever and always. Perfect in mercy and perfect in Justice

He loves you right where you are even in your misery. Read 103 psalm slowly and think about it.

To speak on your problem with OCD and the feeling of God watching and you “floundering”.

Look at the story of Jesus in the boat with His Disciples and the boat begins to sink in a storm:

MATT 8:23-27

The disciples follow Jesus…they choose to follow Him into a boat. All of a sudden a storm comes on them. This is like our spiritual life. We follow Christ, storms come, and now we’re caught in a situation! The disciples are stuck on this boat that is being rocked by this storm, boat starts taking on water and jesus is found in the stern …sleeping!!! The disciples do just what you’re doing now … 'I’m drowning and there you are lord!!! sleeping!" What does jesus do… ? calms the storm down. and then rebukes his disciples! Why ? are you concerns not valid as theirs were ? do you have no faith? of course not! You have faith, your asking for help, and you love Jesus right? What Jesus rebukes them for is they didn’t get it! He has power… he could have stopped the storm, or made it worse or chose to do nothing. He was upset with them becaue they only had faith in what he could do to comfort them…they weren’t happy simply because he was WITH them in the boat…but only found comfort in his ability to make things comfy for them.

Just like in your case… he can heal you or he may not. maybe the disorder is permitted to bring about a greater good for you or for others. He may heal you in good time, maybe he needs you to go on a journey to get your healing, maybe you’ll never be healed… you need to be happy that the Lord is in the boat with you! Everything is in his care and control and he will always do the best for you.

 

[GEddie]

There is no **completely **free will for anybody. Perfect freedom is a mirage.

God understands that, and also what you are going through.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA.

 

[Rbaker]

Have you ever seen the tv series Monk? Although it is fictional, my family really loves the type of man Adrian Monk is, even though he suffers from OCD.

Don’t judge yourself too harshly, maybe God is just letting you experience this because He knows you can handle it or wants you to do some sort of good with it.

 

[SecretCatholic]

Irish Hare, God also helps us through each other, so maybe there is someone who can help you that God will put in your path or have you find when you seek for help.

In any case, I sympathize with your issue.

 

[AKDee]

Reading your analogy, the one that popped immediately into my mind was how if you help a chick trying to get out of its egg shell, it doesn’t develop the strength it needs and it can die. While I completely empathize with you (I, too, am going through a horrendous struggle right now and wish God would come to my aid) we must trust that God has our best interests at heart and that He knows how best to help us- and sometimes that may mean that we must struggle. It may mean that God wants to show us that through perseverance we can break out of our shell by ourselves, and even that we need to do so. Perhaps the lessons we are to learn through our struggle will greatly benefit us later. He’s still watching, and He is still loving us.

I will pray for you. I do hope that things will get better for you soon.

 

[CRATUS]

Hello, I need some advice and guidance.

I have pretty severe OCD that affects my whole life. I’m not currently able to work. I’m still pretty young, single, and intelligent.

I’ve had ocd for 20 years. I’ve prayed and asked for God’s help as well as seeking professional help often, including presently.

But one problem I have with God is His lack of help. Let me explain. If I was out walking and came across a little turtle lying on his back, I’d turn him back onto his feet. Or if I saw a woodlouse in the woods, also on his back, I would watch him for a few moments and if he couldn’t get back on his feet, then I’d help him by turning him over.

Why doesn’t God do this for me? Why does He watch in silence as I flounder?

Of course some would reply that God doesn’t do violence to our free will, but that’s the point - I don’t feel like I am free! My free will is compromised by a mental illness and I NEED a direct intervention from the Almighty.

A priest once asked me on retreat what more could God do to prove His love for you? I said that if I was God, I’d perform more miracles.

---

I also struggle with trusting God in light of the different faces of God that Catholicism presents, with two extremes of either the Good Shepherd or the vengeful Jesus of Revelation, the various harsh parables where Jesus presents His character and traits to us, and even in the Diary of St. Faustina. I find it difficult to trust a God who seems to present so many different faces. I don’t know who I’m dealing with or what mood they are in at any particular moment. I’ll give an example. I struggle also with loneliness and impurity. So when I fall, am I dealing with a God who is extremely angry with me or a God who is loving me especially in my sin? The point is, I don’t know, and the Catholic Faith seems to present both types, so it’s almost like take your pick.

Your analogies were a bit hilarious. Why aren’t your prayers immediately answered? I do not know. We do not know why God chooses to intervene in our lives and why He does not. God is a God of love, mercy and justice. Unfortunately sins must receive punishment if they are not repented of. God fully understand what it means to be human.

 

[Autumn_Smoke]

Maybe God is helping you in a way that you can’t see. He dwells in a realm which is invisible to us. He has given all of us a guardian angel, whom we cannot see either, but he is always by our side to help and protect us, according to the will of God.

There were a few years in my own life in which I accused God of not caring about me because he wasn’t seeming to help me at all when I desperately needed it. Then about a month later, someone came up to me out of the blue and told me, “God cares about you.” Please know the same about yourself.

When we sin, God is always by our side. Never in anger waiting to cut us down, but in love, with outstretched arms, waiting and calling for us to come to him, with forgiveness in his heart. God loves and cares for his creation…he is not waiting in anticipation of our downfall and rejoicing, but continually striving to bring us all to him.

Please be assured that God loves you deeply. I am sorry for all you’re going through. I will pray for you. Please know that God loves you and is working for your good,

:grouphug:

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

Possibly God has been trying to help you, by sending others to assist you in dealing with your OCD? Counselors? Therapists? Medication? These are the “helps” that can “turn you over” (to use your analogy!) and get you back on track.

I sincerely hope you are taking advantage of what God has provided us through the science of medicine and psychology. Sometimes “help” comes in forms that we would least expect. God bless you.

 

[Faxero]

I struggle also with loneliness and impurity. So when I fall, am I dealing with a God who is extremely angry with me or a God who is loving me especially in my sin? The point is, I don’t know, and the Catholic Faith seems to present both types, so it’s almost like take your pick.

The attitude, or ‘face’ that God views us with may depend on the circumstances surrounding our committed sin, including our state of mind, peer pressure, etc… which may increase or reduce our culpability.

For example…

If one masturbates, yet repents shortly afterward, and firmly desires to confess it, then God will likely observe him with any of the following emotions: tenderness, disappointment, excitement.

Likewise, if one masturbates, and decides to allow himself to persist in it, then God will likely observe him with any of the following emotions: disappointment, anger, astonishment.
In other words, God’s attitude towards us changes depending on our attitude towards him. Old Testament Israel offended God many times, and they also heeded God many times. When they offended God, he became angry, and when they repented, God became merciful.

Through the ten commandments, we became aware of what God expects from us. Hence, the baseline for our relationships with him as individuals and as a species is established.

 

[Irish_Hare]

The attitude, or ‘face’ that God views us with may depend on the circumstances surrounding our committed sin, including our state of mind, peer pressure, etc… which may increase or reduce our culpability.

For example…

If one masturbates, yet repents shortly afterward, and firmly desires to confess it, then God will likely observe him with any of the following emotions: tenderness, disappointment, excitement.

Likewise, if one masturbates, and decides to allow himself to persist in it, then God will likely observe him with any of the following emotions: disappointment, anger, astonishment.
In other words, God’s attitude towards us changes depending on our attitude towards him. Old Testament Israel offended God many times, and they also heeded God many times. When they offended God, he became angry, and when they repented, God became merciful.

Through the ten commandments, we became aware of what God expects from us. Hence, the baseline for our relationships with him as individuals and as a species is established.

I hate to try to paint myself as better than God, more merciful, but it would seem to me that God should have tender compassion and sorrow for even the unrepentant sinner, who, wounded and hurt, is hurting himself, angry at God, self, and others. God being angry in light of this would seem to be just more of the same brokenness and dysfunction and ineffectiveness we see in ourselves. Isn’t this projection?

Your post seems to suggest that we can control God’s mind and approach to us - this, the unchangeable God, can be changed and manipulated by the whims of men. That seems wrong to me. Surely God should always rise above the weakness of men, and set aside anger at poor, broken human beings?

 

[Faxero]

@Irish Hare



I’m not sure how God thinks. As he himself said: “My ways are not your ways.”

However, based on his actions, I’m guessing that God can become angry at us. In the Old Testament, he has shown himself willing to exterminate entire nations, and at one point, even the entire planet other than one family (great flood). God wouldn’t go to such extremes if he wasn’t emotionally invested in Mankind.

God clearly prefers that we act in certain ways. He has shown himself willing to award or punish us, based on our thoughts, words, and actions. To me, this could show that God can be manipulated into acting a certain way. However, his basic, innate nature as the almighty creator, our creator, and as the most powerful being in existence, will never change.

And because his nature won’t ever change, it is foolish for us to try to deceive him, or to manipulate him in a way in-which we would be rebelling against, or getting in the way of his plans.

I don’t know how God thinks, so everything I just said is guesswork.

 

[BobCatholic]

Life is the cross. Nothing else.

Today is Good Friday. Tomorrow is Good Friday.

Next week? Good Friday.

Life is hanging around on the cross until you die.

Easter will come - after we die - that’s when we rise.

In the meantime, back to the cross.

 

[AKDee]

I was reading the 2nd chapter of Ben Sirah (or Sirach) and found it very applicable here. As I, too, am going through difficult times, I hope you will also read it and find it helpful.

 

[CatholicRaven]

I hate to try to paint myself as better than God, more merciful, but it would seem to me that God should have tender compassion and sorrow for even the unrepentant sinner, who, wounded and hurt, is hurting himself, angry at God, self, and others. God being angry in light of this would seem to be just more of the same brokenness and dysfunction and ineffectiveness we see in ourselves. Isn’t this projection?

A parent loves his/her child. The child disobeys, and puts himself in harm’s way by doing so. The parent is likely to feel anger, sorrow, disappointment, and compassion–all at the same time, with the same child. It’s not generally either anger or compassion… but both/and.

Now, if the child does not repent of his actions, even fully intending to do it again… what would a normal parent feel? Is it loving to watch your child do harm to himself, and not be upset, just keep feeling compassion for him and tolerating the behavior? Is it loving to give a child whatever he thinks he wants, even when it’s bad for him? Maybe it’s “nice” to let children do whatever they want, but it’s not necessarily loving. In fact, it can be very unloving!

So what response from the parent is best for the child? What will generally motivate the child not to repeat bad behavior again? Usually, consequences… which a child may see as “mean” or “unloving.” Yet it also tends to motivate a child to choose right action next time, and as the child gets older, he begins to understand why the loving parent did not just overlook or tolerate bad behavior in the name of “compassion.” Or a parent may have to allow some suffering so that a child can grow stronger or learn to do more, and it may feel “mean” that the parent won’t do it FOR the child… but the parent knows that once the child gets through this, it will be better for him. The parent allows the struggle for the child’s sake.

God loves each of us (yes, YOU) infinitely more than any parent loves his/her child. And He knows, much better than we do, what we need. You cannot currently see past your suffering, because you are in the midst of it. It feels “mean” to you that God lets this happen. You want God to make things easier for you, to take the struggle away, not knowing what outcome that would bring. You assume, but don’t know, what is best for you, what your future holds, what you truly need to make it to Heaven.

God does.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. You have my prayers.

 

[Irish_Hare]

I was reading the 2nd chapter of Ben Sirah (or Sirach) and found it very applicable here. As I, too, am going through difficult times, I hope you will also read it and find it helpful.

Thanks, I’ll check it out.

A parent loves his/her child. The child disobeys, and puts himself in harm’s way by doing so. The parent is likely to feel anger, sorrow, disappointment, and compassion–all at the same time, with the same child. It’s not generally either anger or compassion… but both/and.

Now, if the child does not repent of his actions, even fully intending to do it again… what would a normal parent feel? Is it loving to watch your child do harm to himself, and not be upset, just keep feeling compassion for him and tolerating the behavior? Is it loving to give a child whatever he thinks he wants, even when it’s bad for him? Maybe it’s “nice” to let children do whatever they want, but it’s not necessarily loving. In fact, it can be very unloving!

So what response from the parent is best for the child? What will generally motivate the child not to repeat bad behavior again? Usually, consequences… which a child may see as “mean” or “unloving.” Yet it also tends to motivate a child to choose right action next time, and as the child gets older, he begins to understand why the loving parent did not just overlook or tolerate bad behavior in the name of “compassion.” Or a parent may have to allow some suffering so that a child can grow stronger or learn to do more, and it may feel “mean” that the parent won’t do it FOR the child… but the parent knows that once the child gets through this, it will be better for him. The parent allows the struggle for the child’s sake.

God loves each of us (yes, YOU) infinitely more than any parent loves his/her child. And He knows, much better than we do, what we need. You cannot currently see past your suffering, because you are in the midst of it. It feels “mean” to you that God lets this happen. You want God to make things easier for you, to take the struggle away, not knowing what outcome that would bring. You assume, but don’t know, what is best for you, what your future holds, what you truly need to make it to Heaven.

God does.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear. You have my prayers.

I feel that I have this condition and that a gun is being held to my head to get better or else. I fear that if I don’t get better I will probably go to hell. I have difficulties with finding the motivation to get better and if my will is not for my healing, as hard as it will be, then I won’t get better. I don’t have the motivation or the freedom of will. That’s how it seems to me, yet I feel that God is making all these demands off me. I feel like the kid whose father never taught him to swim but throws him into the pool and shouts SWIM! but then gives him a hard time when he flounders and makes him feel even worse.

 

[Eichelbaum]

Why doesn’t God do this for me? Why does He watch in silence as I flounder?

You seem to be one of those people who gets angry and confused at God because He doesn’t remove suffering from your life.

Excuse me, but you’re missing the whole boat.

That crucifix over there isn’t a symbol of how we no longer have any pain in life, it’s a means of sanctification that we can take part in by actually suffering in love.

You know, we’re so shallow.

We say we love God, but we don’t.

The minute something goes wrong, we absolutely refuse to love and to accept anything with patience and with trust.

Why don’t we try to fix that rather than being annoyed at God?

Insofar as different images of God: we live in a time of mercy, i.e., the time we have alive is one in which God is extending graces to us … graces TO REPENT and to convert and to do penance. But yes, after death, we will meet our Judge, and unless we have spent our lives daily taking up our crosses so as to love Him more, we won’t wanna see Him.

So let’s stop complaining and get to work.

I’m sorry if this is blunt, but I have to admit I don’t agree with tap-dancing around this issue. We need to stop being hypocrites and we need to actually love God and dispose ourselves to the graces to do so.

 

[Eichelbaum]

feel like the kid whose father never taught him to swim but throws him into the pool and shouts SWIM! but then gives him a hard time when he flounders and makes him feel even worse.

Maybe God is more like the father who gives his son access to all sorts of swimming lessons, but yet the son refuses to go to any, and then blames the father for his own lack of aquatic ability. Outside of a very few, we are all like that sort of son.

God gives us everything we need to deal with our problems in a manner which is fitting of a follower of Christ.

But we have to want to do so.

But we don’t.

We’re more interested in not having any crosses, and having a spoiled-rotten life, than we are getting our hands dirty and actually proving our love.

We want to talk, we don’t want to act.

Difficulties in life mean having to practice what we preach, and how utterly inconvenient THAT can be.

 

[fred_conty]

Hello, I need some advice and guidance.

I have pretty severe OCD that affects my whole life. I’m not currently able to work. I’m still pretty young, single, and intelligent.

I’ve had ocd for 20 years. I’ve prayed and asked for God’s help as well as seeking professional help often, including presently.

But one problem I have with God is His lack of help. Let me explain. If I was out walking and came across a little turtle lying on his back, I’d turn him back onto his feet. Or if I saw a woodlouse in the woods, also on his back, I would watch him for a few moments and if he couldn’t get back on his feet, then I’d help him by turning him over.

Why doesn’t God do this for me? Why does He watch in silence as I flounder?

Of course some would reply that God doesn’t do violence to our free will, but that’s the point - I don’t feel like I am free! My free will is compromised by a mental illness and I NEED a direct intervention from the Almighty.

A priest once asked me on retreat what more could God do to prove His love for you? I said that if I was God, I’d perform more miracles.

---

I also struggle with trusting God in light of the different faces of God that Catholicism presents, with two extremes of either the Good Shepherd or the vengeful Jesus of Revelation, the various harsh parables where Jesus presents His character and traits to us, and even in the Diary of St. Faustina. I find it difficult to trust a God who seems to present so many different faces. I don’t know who I’m dealing with or what mood they are in at any particular moment. I’ll give an example. I struggle also with loneliness and impurity. So when I fall, am I dealing with a God who is extremely angry with me or a God who is loving me especially in my sin? The point is, I don’t know, and the Catholic Faith seems to present both types, so it’s almost like take your pick.

You are holding a grudge against God. You are also not praying but demanding. You must be supple like clay, and loving as a child has for his Father. Then you will experience a life in the family of God.

Love God in the bad as well as in the good. Your eyes don’t see what he sees. Be faithful to him and a change will occur.

You seem to worry over your sins and that he will take it out on you. That is the devil talking to you. God never changes … he is love itself … he always loves us. Hell is in the next world, a place where God is being rejected. As long as anyone lives in this world, they will never be rejected by God … where he is all merciful and forgiving. He comes to the ill and not for the healthy. He came for the impossible people, to help them discover who they really are … God’s loved ones, his sheep. Love is what he always talks about and invites us to … always. It is never to late or too often. He loves us as no one else ever could and wants us to share his very own peace. He even wants to be in the deepest union with us while we have a breth to breath … unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood you cannot have life
in you.

He has made all of us rich in his love now and in his love in the future. We are all stupid. For sin rejects his love and there is nothing more stupid than that … except not to beg for his forgiveness which is bottomless.

Have frequent and long talks with your mother Mary. Let her take over your life and thought. Speak with her constantly about all your cares and ideas. Beg of her to help you … she never lets any of her children down. Right now make her the center of your life, trusting her to lead you like you’ve never been led before. Her tender love never fails. She has her special ways. Put your body and soul in her care and she will do the worrying for you.