"Why doesn't mommy go to church with us?"

[Bradski]

Traumatiize no -confuse yes.

When a child is baptised, a promise is made to raise the child Catholic…
It is common for kids to mirror parents behavior at this age, so your direct answer would not support this.

There appear to be limited choices here.

1. The mother pretends that she believes and attends church. In other words she is dishonest to her children. Would any responsible parent suggest doing that?
2. The father explains to the children that some people believe in God but are not Catholics, that some people believe in God yet do not attend church and that some people do not believe in God at all. If the children are confused by this then I would suggest that they are too young to make sense of the concept of God in the first instance.

Speaking as a parent I can guarantee that honesty is the best policy. So if you are talking to your children about any matter, then do your best to tell them the truth. You don’t have to be brutally honest but hiding from them what you consider to unpalatable facts or refusing to discuss embarrassing subjects or avoiding uncomfortable situations is not to be recommended.

 

[mommy_k]

Bradski–When a child is baptised, parents agree to raise the child Catholic. Both parents agree to exemplify not detract from this.

Telling any 4 year old that thier mom does not believe in God in a blunt, direct way will detract from this. If 100 percent honesty is the policy, would you follow that comment with mom is seriously sinning by not believing in God or going to church as well? That’s honest too.

In the above, you are suggesting comparative religious instruction before a child has the ability to compare and contrast on an intellectual level…age 4. Wow.

The question is how to soften the truth, so not to cause confusion.

 

[WilliamE]

If 100 percent honesty is the policy, would you follow that comment with mom is seriously sinning by not believing in God or going to church as well? That’s honest too.

No it’s not. It’s superstitious. At least from Mom’s perspective.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

No it’s not. It’s superstitious. At least from Mom’s perspective.

The only time people espouse brutal honesty with kids like this is when they see no big deal on the topic.

Obviously, for most people here, saying "mommy doesn’t believe in God “or mommy thinks everything I tell you is superstitious” or “mommy finds this whole Mass thing to be a waste of time” is brutally honest, and nothing but hurtful to the children.

We say and do things with Christian charity and love. We don’t tell children about their gay uncle by saying “he’s got a warped, unhealthy view of sexuality and a misguided understanding of love when he directs his sexual desires and impulses for affection towards other men.” That’s called being rude and cruel for no good reason.

And we don’t need to portray mommy in a way that demeans her, or leads the children away from a healthy relationship with God either.

It is easy for all of us to be flippant about things we care nothing about. I have often heard folks refer to other people’s hobbies as a “waste of time” or a “stupid interest” as though intrinsic value is somehow imbued after the fact if someone else shares the interest. That’s just silly, dismissive and ignorant.

 

[Bradski]

And we don’t need to portray mommy in a way that demeans her, or leads the children away from a healthy relationship with God either.

Uh? Telling the kids that their mother doesn’t believe in God is demeaning her? Good grief…

Any loving father would be able to explain this to his children in a way that wouldn’t be detrimental to the relationship between mother and children in any way whatsoever.

 

[mommy_k]

No it’s not. It’s superstitious. At least from Mom’s perspective.

The concern here is not the mom’s perspective-- it’s the child’s positive encouragement and practice of faith that was promised at baptism.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

“Hey dad how can my soul get to heaven”

"Well son, through the sacraments. Baptism takes away original and actual sin and opens the gates of heaven. Confession keeps you in a state of grace and removes mortal sin that would keep you out of heaven, the Eucharist is the bread of life that bestowes grace upon you. It is Jesus himself who died for the salvation of this who believe in Him. Holy orders gives us the holy church who’s only job is the salvation of souls. Etc.

We must use the sacraments to attain heaven son"

“What about mom, dad?”

“Well son, she doesn’t believe all that”

“Is mom in danger of hell?”

“Well son, mom has to be either invincibly ignorant or God has to find another way of salvation that no one has ever known for her to go to heaven.”

“Night night, we have to get up early to go to Mass as our obligation, But be quiet Because mom likes to sleep in…”

 

[mommy_k]

“Hey dad how can my soul get to heaven”

"Well son, through the sacraments. Baptism takes away original and actual sin and opens the gates of heaven. Confession keeps you in a state of grace and removes mortal sin that would keep you out of heaven, the Eucharist is the bread of life that bestowes grace upon you. It is Jesus himself who died for the salvation of this who believe in Him. Holy orders gives us the holy church who’s only job is the salvation of souls. Etc.

We must use the sacraments to attain heaven son"

“What about mom, dad?”

“Well son, she doesn’t believe all that”

“Is mom in danger of hell?”

“Well son, mom has to be either invincibly ignorant or God has to find another way of salvation that no one has ever known for her to go to heaven.”

“Night night, we have to get up early to go to Mass as our obligation, But be quiet Because mom likes to sleep in…”

Hey dad what’s invinciblilly ignorant mean? Is that a nickname I can call mom from now on?

Oh, it means stupid…

 

[Bradski]

“Hey Father, how can Mom’s soul get to heaven”

“Well, son…the Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does good and all of us have this commandment at heart, do good and do not do evil. All of us.”

“But, Father, this is not Catholic! She cannot do good.”

“Yes, she can…The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ, all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone!”

“Father, even Mom?”

“Even Mom. Everyone! We must meet one another doing good.”

“But Mom doesn’t believe, Father, she is an atheist!”

“But let her do good: we will meet one another there."

With thanks to Pope Francis. catholic.org/news/hf/faith/story.php?id=51077

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

“Well, son…the Lord created us in His image and likeness, and we are the image of the Lord, and He does good and all of us have this commandment at heart, do good and do not do evil. All of us.”

“But, Father, this is not Catholic! She cannot do good.”

“Yes, she can…The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ, all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone!”

“Father, even Mom?”

“Even Mom. Everyone! We must meet one another doing good.”

“But Mom doesn’t believe, Father, she is an atheist!”

“But let her do good: we will meet one another there."

With thanks to Pope Francis. catholic.org/news/hf/faith/story.php?id=51077

We are not saved by a cosmic scale and our good outweighs our bad. The problems of original sin actual sin and belief in Jesus are central to how God has revealed his salvation. The dad would not be teaching Catholic theology to the son. The BEST he could do is say, " gee son, I guess mom will have to be saved another way that I don’t know about…

As long as she is Good. Whatever that means:shrug:

Gee dad, I like moms way better. I’ll just do that…

 

[Bradski]

As long as she is Good. Whatever that means.

You’ll have to check with the Pope. He’ll put you straight.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

You’ll have to check with the Pope. He’ll put you straight.

Which one. I’m unaware of universal salvation declaring pope’s… But what if two pope’s disagree with eachother. If only we had a book or an institution we could look to for the answer. If only God himselfr could manifest on earth and speak what we must do to be saved! Gosh, if only then he established a mechanism for the salvation of souls. And then if only gave us instructions…

If only.

So how good do you have to be to go to heaven. How good does the mom in the analogy have to be?

 

[Bradski]

Which one. I’m unaware of universal salvation declaring pope’s… But what if two pope’s disagree with eachother. If only we had a book or an institution we could look to for the answer. If only God himselfr could manifest on earth and speak what we must do to be saved! Gosh, if only then he established a mechanism for the salvation of souls. And then if only gave us instructions…

If only.

So how good do you have to be to go to heaven. How good does the mom in the analogy have to be?

I don’t think that asking an atheist how to get to a place he doesn’t think exists will get you very far. As far as I’ve been told, the guy in the Vatican is God’s representative. If he doesn’t know then nobody will.

Try @pontifex or call on +39.06.6982.

 

[SuperHappy]

Praying for all in this situation…Many families go through this same struggle.

At such a young age, it will be easier to give an excuse but as the children grow up and grow into their faith, they will begin to worry for their mother and wonder why she doesn’t believe. It’s important that you and she get on the same page and discuss together what the children will be told.

If there is no clear communication, this will eventually cause major problems. Hopefully with discussion and prayer your family can move forward. Pray that your wife’s heart will change and she will decide to join you and the children in church. Later on it will be hard for your children to go through the church sacraments without their mother there.