Why has the Church so miserably failed to inculcate and cultivate the faithful to embrace NFP?

[StCsDavid]

Why has the Church so miserably failed to inculcate and cultivate the faithful to embrace NFP? …and why should we expect that the stats will significantly improve?

First the Church doesn’t impose its views on anyone, but rather proposes. One chooses to accept it or not. One chooses to be in full communion or not. Another factor to consider is that the contraceptive culture has only been around for the last 40 to 50 years. In context of the Church’s 2000 year history, that’s a small piece of time. Things might look a bit differently in a couple of three generations. So the Church continues to preach the truth. Some generations hear it. Others reject it. But the truth remains the same.

 

[hasikelee]

Why do assume it’s the “man” who doesn’t want to abstain? Women are not shrinking violets.

No, it’s exactly what I said, that I feel sorry for the women who are in the situation where they cater to overt or obvious pressure from a man to damage their bodies.

Women who choose to do this to their bodies wasn’t my topic of discussion.

Authority figures such as teachers and parents who choose to damage their DD’s bodies wasn’t my topic.

Politicians, doctors and businesses who profit from harming women wasn’t my topic.

Etc etc

And shrinking violets means what by your definition? By my definition, it means one who is discreet or even afraid of sexual conversation. Obviously my definition has nothing to do with my post, so you must mean something else. Let me know!

 

[hasikelee]

And I’d like to add that contraception–the mind set isn’t really much about sex, per se. It’s not about ‘not being able to abstain,’ etc…maybe for some, but I would say the #1 reason people contracept, is because they fear having a baby. (basically the consequence or responsiblity of having a sexual relationship) That’s why condoms are soooo popular, because any teenager can walk in, and buy a pack, no questions asked. It’s easier than a girl having to get a script written for the pill, for example. Now, for married couples–contracpetion has been sold to us women as ‘it will help you fight against this or that cancer,’ etc…and thus, it has become very popular too.

But, in thinking back to my own use of contraception in my marriage–my husband and I were ‘afraid’ of having a baby at times in our marriage…maybe selfish reasons, maybe financial …whatever the reasons, we were fearful. It’s important to note this, because I think the only way that the Church can really get a hedge over the contracpetion world, is by teaching this concept. That being fearful is not how God wants us to live…We need to trust God for all aspects of our lives. He designed sex, and He will provide for us, always, when we follow His ways, and laws.

That is what needs to be taught. Abortion is also often a procedure that will alleviate a girl’s fears of having to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. (yet laden with a whole host of other consequences that she will have a lifetime to deal with) Contraception and abortion are very close cousins, when it comes to fear. But, once my husband and I embraced (again) NFP recently, the fear has all but gone away, when it comes to our marital sexuality.

I am grateful that God enlightened me to this, recently…and again, to everyone here who talks about these topics, without candy coating.

Whatevergirl, it is really a blessing to hear your personal testimony.

One thing I have never been able to understand is that fear driving you to contracept. If it was such a fear to have a baby, why not practice NFP? For example, you mention condoms being popular, but even the CDC has listed them as not very effective.

I hear this fear in my girlfriends’ voices when they talk to me about relationship issues and it leaves me befuzzled. They worry about pregnancy every day of the month, even when on ABC and using a condom…yet our cycles ensure most of us are infertile the majority of the time.

This has led me to believe that deep down it is a dislike of making choices based on facts and accepting the consequences. E.g. “can’t abstain.” I know for a surprisingly lot of women, they aren’t even aware of their own cycles, but what of other women who are aware?

It’s almost as if it’s easier to forget about what sex really IS, and by choosing a less effective method, people are showing their bluff that it’s all about fear of pregnancy.

This isn’t directed towards anybody, I just wanted to show you my building thoughts on the subject.

P.S. what doctor told you ABC can help against cancer? Is there a way you could bring some suit or complaint against him or her?

 

[KHI29]

I can’t believe that this is actually being discussed. The use of contraceptive drugs and devices - the pill, condoms, diaphragms, intrauterine devices, etc. - is always and everywhere evil and sinful. Their use can never be condoned or justified as a morally acceptable means of controlling births or limiting the size of a family. To those who wish to practice responsible parenthood, who have “serious motives” to space out the births of their children, Pope Paul, and his successors, have said that they may resort to Natural Family Planning. This means abstaining from marital relations during those days when a woman is fertile and capable of conceiving a child.
Natural Family Planning is safer than chemical means of controlling births (the pill and spermicides) and more effective than mechanical means (condoms, diaphragms, lUDs). It also requires the cooperation of both spouses, as opposed to artificial methods which put all of the burden on one partner. This mutual involvement of husband and wife, which demands real communication and cooperation between them, has over time proved to enhance the respect, increase the affection, and deepen the love which they feel for one another.
Surveys have also shown virtually no divorces among couples practicing NFP, while couples practicing artificial contraception have very high rates of divorce.To those couples caught up in the contraceptive mentality, or who are struggling to follow the Church’s teaching on the proper regulation of births, Pope Paul offered this compassionate advice: “Let them implore divine assistance by persevering prayer; above all, let them draw from the source of grace and charity in the Eucharist. And if sin should still keep its hold over them, let them not be discouraged, but rather have recourse with humble perseverance to the mercy of God, which is poured forth in the sacrament of Penance” (Humanae Vitae, n. 25).

 

[1ke]

I can’t believe that this is actually being discussed.

Why?

 

[KHI29]

Why?

Uh, Because Onan was KILLED by God for spilling his seed, Onan robbed sexual intercourse of its life-giving meaning and acted against the good of his potential offspring’s life. Both his intent and his concrete actions were against life. As a result, Onan received death for his crime.

Nuff said…

 

[KHI29]

Why?

By the way did you even read the rest of my original post?

 

[KHI29]

Why has the Church so miserably failed to inculcate and cultivate the faithful to embrace NFP?

It does. There are some churches out there that push NFP. My church for example. **Real **Catholics practice either abstinence or NFP just as the Magistrate teaches…

 

[Lady_D_I]

what doctor told you ABC can help against cancer?

OCs are associated with a reduced risk of endometrial and ovarian cancer. This is one of the “benefits”. Sadly, little, if any attention, is given to the increased risk of cervical and breast cancer.

 

[whatevergirl]

Whatevergirl, it is really a blessing to hear your personal testimony.

One thing I have never been able to understand is that fear driving you to contracept. If it was such a fear to have a baby, why not practice NFP? For example, you mention condoms being popular, but even the CDC has listed them as not very effective.

I hear this fear in my girlfriends’ voices when they talk to me about relationship issues and it leaves me befuzzled. They worry about pregnancy every day of the month, even when on ABC and using a condom…yet our cycles ensure most of us are infertile the majority of the time.

This has led me to believe that deep down it is a dislike of making choices based on facts and accepting the consequences. E.g. “can’t abstain.” I know for a surprisingly lot of women, they aren’t even aware of their own cycles, but what of other women who are aware?

It’s almost as if it’s easier to forget about what sex really IS, and by choosing a less effective method, people are showing their bluff that it’s all about fear of pregnancy.

This isn’t directed towards anybody, I just wanted to show you my building thoughts on the subject.

P.S. what doctor told you ABC can help against cancer? Is there a way you could bring some suit or complaint against him or her?

All of my docs told me that! Sad, no?

I think the reason we didn’t use NFP, is because truthfully we just thought it ‘simpler’ to use ABC. I didn’t even know the Church’s teachings on it, to be honest…and then when I did realize it a few years ago, I went off it. Had a terrible bout with hormonal fluctuations, etc…and went back on it strictly for hormonal use…but always felt it was wrong, and it made me feel pretty lousy over time. I would say that it is the single biggest lie told to women out there…it really is. It’s a shame, but the Church could do a bit of a better job with awareness. Have a blurb or two written about it in the bulletin or have a class monthly. It is our responsibility, but the Church should be our Shepherd through a sea of lies out here in the world. (and yes, it is all about fear)

Merry Christmas to you haskilee!!

 

[whatevergirl]

Why has the Church so miserably failed to inculcate and cultivate the faithful to embrace NFP?

It does. There are some churches out there that push NFP. My church for example. **Real **Catholics practice either abstinence or NFP just as the Magistrate teaches…

I don’t think that you should say ‘real’ Catholics, as though those who don’t practice it purposely don’t care about following the Church’s teachings. That is a smug answer. Please be careful not to appear judgemental–being judgemental is not a quality a ‘real’ Catholic should possess, either, if we are to help one another get to a better place.

 

[childofmary1143]

I think that certain members of the Hierarchy don’t teach NFP because it would lead to the fact that ABC is wrong and they don’t want to say that.

However I must say that I find it amazing that if a Priest were to commit a serious liturgical abuse then how Catholics will criticize him (not that he doesn’t deserve it). But then they do their “Roman Protestant” impersonation and say that its wrong to use NFP in any and all circumstances.

 

[KHI29]

I don’t think that you should say ‘real’ Catholics, as though those who don’t practice it purposely don’t care about following the Church’s teachings. That is a smug answer. Please be careful not to appear judgemental–being judgemental is not a quality a ‘real’ Catholic should possess, either, if we are to help one another get to a better place.

That’s not “smug” that’s Church teaching. And yes if you know about it you are OBLIGATED to follow it. The Church is very black and white on the issue and I’m OBLIGATED to teach other Christians about the teachings of the Church, as are all of us. If people reading this are “cafateria” Catholics and prefer to ignore certain teachings I’m not judging them but I will try to correct them. If correcting them I have to point out the difference between a cafateria Catholic and a real Catholic then so be it. Don’t accuse me of being “smug” for speaking the truth.

 

[whatevergirl]

That’s not “smug” that’s Church teaching. And yes if you know about it you are OBLIGATED to follow it. The Church is very black and white on the issue and I’m OBLIGATED to teach other Christians about the teachings of the Church, as are all of us. If people reading this are “cafateria” Catholics and prefer to ignore certain teachings I’m not judging them but I will try to correct them. If correcting them I have to point out the difference between a cafateria Catholic and a real Catholic then so be it. Don’t accuse me of being “smug” for speaking the truth.

You posted ‘real Catholics follow NFP…’ as though there is no room for someone to change…you have no idea why people are where they are in their faith. I think that it’s great to be a witness for your faith, but if you reread your post, it seems a little smug. "Real Catholics’ do this…and don’t do that. Not one person who is Catholic can follow everything to the letter–we are sinners–in the striving to be more like Christ, we become more faithful Catholics. But, thankfully, there is Confession, whereby when we fall we are allowed another chance. All I’m saying is that your post seems to state that only real Catholics ‘do the right thing.’ Sometimes, it takes people time to get to that point. The important thing is to finally be awakened to Church teaching, and live right. Thanks for your reply. I hope you understand my thoughts.

 

[TIME]

That’s not “smug” that’s Church teaching. And yes if you know about it you are OBLIGATED to follow it. The Church is very black and white on the issue and I’m OBLIGATED to teach other Christians about the teachings of the Church, as are all of us. If people reading this are “cafateria” Catholics and prefer to ignore certain teachings I’m not judging them but I will try to correct them. If correcting them I have to point out the difference between a cafateria Catholic and a real Catholic then so be it. Don’t accuse me of being “smug” for speaking the truth.

Speaking the Truth is one thing, hitting them over the head with the CCC and saying “Bad, Café Catholic, Bad” may be less than productive. Any training in Communications will tell you “How you say something is just as important as what you say”.

 

[KHI29]

You posted ‘real Catholics follow NFP…’ as though there is no room for someone to change…you have no idea why people are where they are in their faith. I think that it’s great to be a witness for your faith, but if you reread your post, it seems a little smug. "Real Catholics’ do this…and don’t do that. Not one person who is Catholic can follow everything to the letter–we are sinners–in the striving to be more like Christ, we become more faithful Catholics. But, thankfully, there is Confession, whereby when we fall we are allowed another chance. All I’m saying is that your post seems to state that only real Catholics ‘do the right thing.’ Sometimes, it takes people time to get to that point. The important thing is to finally be awakened to Church teaching, and live right. Thanks for your reply. I hope you understand my thoughts.

Don’t get me wrong I do understand your thoughts. But there are certain things like the choice of using contraceptives over NFP even though you know it’s wrong that are by their very nature not Catholic. You’re right we can go to Confession to repent but the purpose of repenting is to, in the words of Jesus “Sin no more”. If you go to confession with the intent of sinning again then what use is confession? One must choose to use contraceptives even though they are like Onan and sinning against God.
Now I will give you this, If a person dosn’t know that using contraceptives is a mortal sin then said person cannot be held accountable for what they didn’t know.

 

[whatevergirl]

Speaking the Truth is one thing, hitting them over the head with the CCC and saying “Bad, Café Catholic, Bad” may be less than productive. Any training in Communications will tell you “How you say something is just as important as what you say”.

Amen to that. You said it better than me, Time. That’s all I was trying to get at. We all have an obligation to speak the truth, but in love, not in judgement.

 

[KHI29]

Speaking the Truth is one thing, hitting them over the head with the CCC and saying “Bad, Café Catholic, Bad” may be less than productive. Any training in Communications will tell you “How you say something is just as important as what you say”.

I might be alittle blunt but I perfer to get to the point. If I’m doing something wrong and I’m asking about here then I would hope you all would tell me straight out rather then putting a nice spin on it to make me feel better about myself. I want to do what’s right by God and I assume other people wish this also, so why beat around the bush??

 

[whatevergirl]

Don’t get me wrong I do understand your thoughts. But there are certain things like the choice of using contraceptives over NFP even though you know it’s wrong that are by their very nature not Catholic. You’re right we can go to Confession to repent but the purpose of repenting is to, in the words of Jesus “Sin no more”. If you go to confession with the intent of sinning again then what use is confession? One must choose to use contraceptives even though they are like Onan and sinning against God.
Now I will give you this, If a person dosn’t know that using contraceptives is a mortal sin then said person cannot be held accountable for what they didn’t know.

Ok–good, we are on the same page, now. lol It sometimes can get lost in the translation, on message boards. I agree with your last statement…I was such a person. But, I will admit that there were times when I wrestled with my own angst against wanting to accept truth. I think it is part of the growth process–thankfully, I repented…no longer using for a variety of reasons, and so grateful for God’s grace in giving me a second chance. (my husband and me really) I agree with you about Confession, if true repentance doesn’t follow, then…you’re not willing to receive the remedy for sin. (I look at Confession as a remedy for our broken soul)

 

[whatevergirl]

I might be alittle blunt but I perfer to get to the point. If I’m doing something wrong and I’m asking about here then I would hope you all would tell me straight out rather then putting a nice spin on it to make me feel better about myself. I want to do what’s right by God and I assume other people wish this also, so why beat around the bush??

I think because when you posted ‘real’ Catholics, it sort of infers that if one is sinning, they couldn’t be a real Catholic. (albeit a non practicing one?) I am all for diplomacy…and one can get more flies with honey, than vinegar. I think that getting to the crux of perhaps why a fellow Catholic is sinning, can often help that person to stop sinning. Anyways…that’s all I got for tonight. I wish you a very blessed and holy Christmas, K.