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Genesis315
Guest
You can’t judge a religion by those who don’t practice it. That makes no sense.
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Em_in_FL
Guest
I’m sorry your parents are treating you like this. It can be more than heartbreaking when those who raised you treat you poorly… I’m very sorry.
However, pulling back from Mass isn’t necessarily the answer.
Mass isn’t what made your parents treat you poorly. God doesn’t make your parents say those things to you. Obviously they don’t have the best parenting skills, but that’s not God’s fault… so don’t take it out on Him.
I’d try to talk to your parish priest. It sounds like you need some sound counsel and solid motivation from someone you can trust. If you really do need direction in your life your parents aren’t taking the right track because if they were you wouldn’t be reacting to them like this.
Don’t blame your parents sins and faults on the church. Approach God for help in this situation… don’t turn away from Him.
God bless… you’ll be in my prayers.
However, pulling back from Mass isn’t necessarily the answer.
Mass isn’t what made your parents treat you poorly. God doesn’t make your parents say those things to you. Obviously they don’t have the best parenting skills, but that’s not God’s fault… so don’t take it out on Him.
I’d try to talk to your parish priest. It sounds like you need some sound counsel and solid motivation from someone you can trust. If you really do need direction in your life your parents aren’t taking the right track because if they were you wouldn’t be reacting to them like this.
Don’t blame your parents sins and faults on the church. Approach God for help in this situation… don’t turn away from Him.
God bless… you’ll be in my prayers.
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poom
Guest
ReeferShepard,
Are you sure this is about your parents and not you. I highly suggest you go talk to a priest. And find a spiritual advisor.
God bless you
Are you sure this is about your parents and not you. I highly suggest you go talk to a priest. And find a spiritual advisor.
God bless you
M
Mintaka
Guest
Well, actually you can judge a religion by those who practice it. But two people is an awfully small sample, ne? Surely you’d have to include St. Francis and Mother Teresa, too! 
That interval between becoming an adult and moving out on your own is really tense and messy for everyone. I was never so nasty to my parents, and vice versa, as I was after I moved home from college and before I moved out. If I’d realized that ahead of time, I would have never moved home at all – and family life would have gotten better a lot sooner! My mother and I are pretty close now, which we wouldn’t be in the same house.
But Jesus was always with me, no matter what was going on, and if I’d turned more to Him back then and back in college, I’d’ve been a lot happier. (If I miss Mass for a week, it makes me feel kinda cranky and hungry, personally.) So I’d advise against skipping Mass.
But also, you don’t have to go to Mass at the same time as your family, if you have stress from that. If you go before your parents do, they can’t even complain!
That interval between becoming an adult and moving out on your own is really tense and messy for everyone. I was never so nasty to my parents, and vice versa, as I was after I moved home from college and before I moved out. If I’d realized that ahead of time, I would have never moved home at all – and family life would have gotten better a lot sooner! My mother and I are pretty close now, which we wouldn’t be in the same house.
But Jesus was always with me, no matter what was going on, and if I’d turned more to Him back then and back in college, I’d’ve been a lot happier. (If I miss Mass for a week, it makes me feel kinda cranky and hungry, personally.) So I’d advise against skipping Mass.
But also, you don’t have to go to Mass at the same time as your family, if you have stress from that. If you go before your parents do, they can’t even complain!
C
cheeto1
Guest
Your parents said mean things, not God. Why do you want to
punish Him? He is your true Father, and the only one who will
never let you down. Everyone in your life will let you down, even
yourself. But not God. He is the same yesterday, today, and
always. He will always encourage you, never discourage you.
He will always love you and help you. Next time you go to mass,
listen carefully to the homily. There will be a message in it just
for you, applying to your personal situation. God wants to
reveal Himself to you. It is very exciting when you see this.
Never run away from God, always run toward Him. When you
quietly learn to follow His instructions, everything you touch
will be successful. Seek first His kingdom, and all other things
you need will be added. This is in the Bible, and it’s true.
punish Him? He is your true Father, and the only one who will
never let you down. Everyone in your life will let you down, even
yourself. But not God. He is the same yesterday, today, and
always. He will always encourage you, never discourage you.
He will always love you and help you. Next time you go to mass,
listen carefully to the homily. There will be a message in it just
for you, applying to your personal situation. God wants to
reveal Himself to you. It is very exciting when you see this.
Never run away from God, always run toward Him. When you
quietly learn to follow His instructions, everything you touch
will be successful. Seek first His kingdom, and all other things
you need will be added. This is in the Bible, and it’s true.
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Grace_Angel
Guest
Cor Jesu, no parent (being myself one of them) says to their child or of their child that they will not amount to much. It is painful for the child to hgear that their parent has little confidence in them.
A child needs to believe that the most important people in their life (parents) love them completely and have confidence and faith in them.
Your “nastiness” is totally unwarrented. And you definitely clearly show you know nothing about human development.
GraceAngel.
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drafdog
Guest
Dear RS,
Welcome to the advent of adulthood. It’s messy; it’s difficult; it’s self-contradictory; it hurts…
Trust me, what you are going through is pretty normal. God has seen this so many times before that She chuckles whenever another one comes to this point. Most of us go through something like this and most return to the active practice of the faith. You will not go to hell for this. You will not suffer in Purgatory over it. It is a normal step in becoming an adult who is self-aware and self-determining. It is part of the formation of conscience. You will sort out your beliefs and become who the Father made you to be. Keep praying and keep hoping.
Matthew
Welcome to the advent of adulthood. It’s messy; it’s difficult; it’s self-contradictory; it hurts…
Trust me, what you are going through is pretty normal. God has seen this so many times before that She chuckles whenever another one comes to this point. Most of us go through something like this and most return to the active practice of the faith. You will not go to hell for this. You will not suffer in Purgatory over it. It is a normal step in becoming an adult who is self-aware and self-determining. It is part of the formation of conscience. You will sort out your beliefs and become who the Father made you to be. Keep praying and keep hoping.
Matthew
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GregoryPalamas
Guest
Reefer,
I tried to figure out a way to send you a private message. Perhaps you don’t know how to allow that to happen. Perhaps you do. In any event there seems no way to send you a private message which to me seems more appropriate than replying to your post publicly.
Just a couple of questions:
By all means stick with the Church and if “reefer” has the usual meaning stop it. It will only make you more depressed and confused. .
CDL, who very much likes young people. I once was one and both of my sons are young.
I tried to figure out a way to send you a private message. Perhaps you don’t know how to allow that to happen. Perhaps you do. In any event there seems no way to send you a private message which to me seems more appropriate than replying to your post publicly.
Just a couple of questions:
- I wonder why you chose the name Reefer if you are sincerely asking for advice?
- When one turns 18 it is perhaps time to strike out on your own. Your impatience with your parents and they with you may relate to the fact that both of you sense the need for you to get on with your life. If you aren’t in college and wish to be move into a dorm, get a job, and go to college. If you don’t wish to go to college go rent a cheep apartment, or save your money and rent to own a small house or condo, and get a job.
By all means stick with the Church and if “reefer” has the usual meaning stop it. It will only make you more depressed and confused. .
CDL, who very much likes young people. I once was one and both of my sons are young.
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ojmom
Guest
So do you think this “feeling” of being closer to God after deciding not to offer Him the public worship He has commanded actually comes from God? Have you considered the possibility that it comes from another spirit who would prefer that you not keep God’s commandments?
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mmm1
Guest
Hi, ReeferShepard. I’m really sorry you’re having problems with your parents, & that they’ve acted so hurtfully. I think pain & problems in our lives is a reason to turn all the more to Christ & His Church, though, not away from it.
You’re at an age when people often question their parents & the faith they grew up with. It can be a time to research your faith & take ownership of it. If you aren’t already, consider going to Mass by yourself instead of feeling like you’re being forced by your parents. Consider thinking of it as a gift you are giving to Jesus,not a rule of your parents. Often we don’t always feel like going, but the graces we receive are real.
Try to spend a little time with Jesus in front of the Blessed Sacrament & ask Him what He wants you to do. Let Him help & heal you. If we really think about the “daily / weekly miracle” that truly takes place at Mass, we would never want to miss.
You’re at an age when people often question their parents & the faith they grew up with. It can be a time to research your faith & take ownership of it. If you aren’t already, consider going to Mass by yourself instead of feeling like you’re being forced by your parents. Consider thinking of it as a gift you are giving to Jesus,not a rule of your parents. Often we don’t always feel like going, but the graces we receive are real.
Try to spend a little time with Jesus in front of the Blessed Sacrament & ask Him what He wants you to do. Let Him help & heal you. If we really think about the “daily / weekly miracle” that truly takes place at Mass, we would never want to miss.
A
aspawloski4th
Guest
Id like to see the specific reasons why your parents say what they do. what are you doing with your life as of now? what are your trying to do? your parents may be correct or your parents may be so far in left field they are out byond the bleachers. I have a dad who thinks one is a falure if they are still home at 19. in any even it has very little to do with God or religion as much as it does with what your parents define as amounting to something. which in one way or annother comes from their life experiance,mostly their younger days. I suspect the answer lies somewhere between the 2 extremes I presented.
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InLight247
Guest
Someone on this thread has already lovingly reminded you that missing Sunday Mass on purpose is a mortal sin.
Our relationship with others and our relationship with God should not be mixed up. The first Commandment is to love God above all. This love is not supposed to be affected by any other person. Your disappointment in your parents should not spill over and spoil your relationship with God. You said you still pray and believe in God. Keep in mind it is God’s commandment to worship him on Sunday. If you believe in God, you should believe in His commandments.
If you understand the true meaning of Mass, the Holy sacrifice, the reproduction of the Last Supper, the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, the richness and the significance of the ritual, you will want to attend Mass as often as possible. You will perceive Mass as heaven on earth and cannot wait to get to it.
If you want to understand about Mass, I suggest you to read Scott Hahn’s book “The Lamb’s Supper, Mass as Heaven on Earth”, you will have a whole new perspective on Mass, and attending Mass will never be a work but be a joy.
J
JimR-OCDS
Guest
The confusion lies in not understanding the difference between faith and religion. I was also raised Catholic, was sent to Catholic School, and this was pre-Vatican II. However, when I got out of high-school and enlisted in the Marines, like you, religion made no sense to me. Sure, I prayed during boot camp, but even atheist do.
I had no faith until I was 26 years old and already married 3 years, with a child. Faith came to me by my turning to the source, Jesus Christ. I went to him with the request that if he were real, prove it to me, and I’ll do what ever he asked. Well, he proved himself big time, and I received the gift of faith from Him. I never looked back and that was 30 years ago.
So, my suggestion to you is, go to the source, Jesus Christ. Once you receive the gift of faith, religion will make all the sense in the world, especially the Catholic religion.
God Bless
Jim
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I_Believe
Guest
Prove them wrong. Not for the sake of proving them wrong, but for your sake.
Life is about knowing your priorities and making the right decisions. Choose those priorities and make those decisions when you are not in a bad mood, and only after some thought.
Change parishes if need be. Just remember one thing, parents get stressed out just like their kids do. We all say things we regret saying later on.
I quit going to Mass at the age of fifteen. Probably for some of the same reasons you may not have mentioned. No matter.
My parents are gone now, and though I was close to them and was there for them when their health failed them, I hadn’t returned to the Church before they died. And I know that hurt them, although they never brought it up.
Then the regret set in. And let me tell you, the day regret dominates your thought every time the memories of your parents come around, that’s the day you start dying.
My return to the church has saved me. I got lucky.
Hang in there man. Kill 'em with kindness
Life is about knowing your priorities and making the right decisions. Choose those priorities and make those decisions when you are not in a bad mood, and only after some thought.
Change parishes if need be. Just remember one thing, parents get stressed out just like their kids do. We all say things we regret saying later on.
I quit going to Mass at the age of fifteen. Probably for some of the same reasons you may not have mentioned. No matter.
My parents are gone now, and though I was close to them and was there for them when their health failed them, I hadn’t returned to the Church before they died. And I know that hurt them, although they never brought it up.
Then the regret set in. And let me tell you, the day regret dominates your thought every time the memories of your parents come around, that’s the day you start dying.
My return to the church has saved me. I got lucky.
Hang in there man. Kill 'em with kindness
T
tptram
Guest
Reefer, where are you?
Please come back
Tak
Please come back
Tak
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MSJoan
Guest
ReeferShephard,
Everyone sets expectations for themselves and others. I know of someone who recently returned to the Church who was discussing all the events of the Triduum when her non-practicing mother told her how she couldn’t believe what she had become and wished she had aborted her. Imagine if your parents were disappointed in you being a practicing Catholic!
My question to you is for whom are you willing to abandon the God of Mercy who though perfect, gave his life for us that we may receive eternal life?
We parents make a lot of mistakes. We children make lots of mistakes, too. We are all sinners. It’s sometimes very hard to balance ‘honor thy father & mother’ with obeying God’s will. It’s hard to turn to our Father in heaven when those entrusted to our care on Earth have hurt us. But, you’re Father in heaven will always be there for you. I agree with some of the others, talk with a priest. If it feels better, go to one on the other side of town who doesn’t know your parents!
Everyone sets expectations for themselves and others. I know of someone who recently returned to the Church who was discussing all the events of the Triduum when her non-practicing mother told her how she couldn’t believe what she had become and wished she had aborted her. Imagine if your parents were disappointed in you being a practicing Catholic!
My question to you is for whom are you willing to abandon the God of Mercy who though perfect, gave his life for us that we may receive eternal life?
We parents make a lot of mistakes. We children make lots of mistakes, too. We are all sinners. It’s sometimes very hard to balance ‘honor thy father & mother’ with obeying God’s will. It’s hard to turn to our Father in heaven when those entrusted to our care on Earth have hurt us. But, you’re Father in heaven will always be there for you. I agree with some of the others, talk with a priest. If it feels better, go to one on the other side of town who doesn’t know your parents!
P
PauloFreire2
Guest
Remember that your parents’ behavior and attitudes don’t change the nature of God. God is God. The rebellion of sinners doesn’t change that fact. I’ve been roughed up myself by different kinds of religious authority figures. Each time, I was able to remember God transcends all things human. 
J
JimR-OCDS
Guest
At another forum, I use to have a tagline with my handle that went; “Shock Your Family and Friends, Become a Catholic.”
Jim
Jim
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