Why I don't want to be catholic anymore

[SocaliCatholic]

if anyone out there can relate to how I feel I feel like dumping catholicism becuase it feels like it has cut of my manhood. I do not feel like a honest man anymore but someone who is trying to fit in to a culuture of people who sacrifice honesty for pretending to a nice person only at church and then an evil doer on the outside. I am not saying I am sinless myself but I feel like I cant be honest with people anymore becuase eveyone at church is so fake and when I rebuke their fake ideals they always get upset because I have challenged their world views. If nobody at church is perfect then I should be able to go out and gamble and drink, smoke ect why waste any time trying to pretend to be a good person. I am always so worried now about doing something wrong I dont want to do anything anymore. I cant even go to outside without fear of giving into tempation to go to a rated r movie like farenheit 911 or go to clubs and picking up on chicks. Why not just end my life altogether

 

[MiddleBear]

Suffering due to scandal is very painful.

Please see some of Father Benedict Groeschel’s writings at the
Franciscian Friar of the Renewal site

franciscanfriars.com/

Also

See the Oratory of Divine Love website.

oratorydl.org/

I amkeeping you in my prayers

God Bless You

 

[Sonya]

Please do not end your life all together. You are precious to us and especially to God. I think you should talk to trusted priest about this whole situation. He will help. Please do not leave the Catholic Church. Jesus Christ is who you will be leaving not the imperfect people. Jesus Christ is physically truly really here in the Catholic Church in the Eucharist Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity. Please find a good Catholic counselor to talk about the last statement you made. This is not a good statement, because it may mean that you could be depressed. Like I said, a priest could help you to find one.

I use to feel sad and thinking things like maybe I should think of ending my life, but I learned it was sinful to do this and I did talk to a priest and a counselor who was Catholic. She helped me a lot. Please listen to me. I may not be perfect, but Christ is. He can give us the strength to do what is right. There are a lot of Catholics who strive to be better who don’t drink, smoke or gamble. I have met a lot because I went to Catholic Familyland. I met so many good families who really work at it and try to raise their kids for God.

Everyone has a purpose is life and a unique part to play in this life, which will eternally be unfinished if we choose not to cooperate with Him. You are needed very much so. Please let us know how you are doing. I am sure you will get plenty more of these responses. Also I want to invite you to familyland for a conference because you will feel loved and you will meet the people one on one who I am speaking about. Also the priests up there are wonderful to. Just go to www.familyland.org or call 1800FORMARY to get information. Mr. Coniker who founded this Apostolate asked me if I was depressed once and I told him that I was kind of many years ago. He told me to pray this: “Blessed Mother please take possession of my mind.” I tell you that you should pray this often and everyday. Be patient with yourself and don’t give up on yourself.

Also here is another prayer I want to give you. Please pray it. It was given to me by a very loving and wise priest who wrote it himself.

Continued…

 

[Sonya]

Prayer…

Some Acts of Faith in God’s Love

Jesus, I believe that you know me and love me. I want to respond totally to your love. I believe your love makes me your precious brother/sister through the gift of Sanctifying Brace. I choose always to ackt as your precious brother/sitster.

Fater, I believe that you know me and love me. I want to respond totally to your love. Ibelieve your love makes me your precious daughter/son through the gift of Sanctifying Grace. I choose to act always as your precious daughter/son.

Holy Spirit, I believe that you know me and love me. I believe your love and Sanctifying Grace make me a precious member of Christ’s Mystical Body filled with you and moved by you. I do choose always to act under your influence and never to grieve you.

(Our virtue and conviction of faith grow only when we make ACTS of faith. Each time we make an act of faith in God’s love, our conviction that he loves us grows. This conviction progressively opens our hearts to his love. The more our hearts open to God’s love, the more the Three Divine Persons live and act… both in us and through us. The more this happens, the more we develop both an authentic self-respect… and the right kind of unselfish love of ourselves that God directs us to have in the commandment, " Love your neighbor as yourself."

We can focus this prayer on others, beginning with the members of our own families by saying, "Jesus, I believe you know and love NN. _________________(e.g., my parents, etc.)

As we begin to make acts of faith in God’s love for others, the more we will develop…both authentic respect for each and every person…and the love Jesus commands us to have for everyone and for ourselves when he says, “Love one another as I have loved you.”) 2004 by Fr. Bernard M. Geiger, OFM CONV

I really don’t understand the copy right of this prayer, but he wouldn’t mind me sharing this prayer with you.

 

[CatholicNerd]

SocaliCatholic:

if anyone out there can relate to how I feel I feel like dumping catholicism becuase it feels like it has cut of my manhood. I do not feel like a honest man anymore but someone who is trying to fit in to a culuture of people who sacrifice honesty for pretending to a nice person only at church and then an evil doer on the outside. I am not saying I am sinless myself but I feel like I cant be honest with people anymore becuase eveyone at church is so fake and when I rebuke their fake ideals they always get upset because I have challenged their world views. If nobody at church is perfect then I should be able to go out and gamble and drink, smoke ect why waste any time trying to pretend to be a good person. I am always so worried now about doing something wrong I dont want to do anything anymore. I cant even go to outside without fear of giving into tempation to go to a rated r movie like farenheit 911 or go to clubs and picking up on chicks. Why not just end my life altogether

Oh man. Looks like the liberals ARE doing a good job of distorting the image of true masculinity. Speaking as a 19 year old convert, I have found that the Catholic church is allowing me to grow into the man that God intends for me to be. It is in the Catholic Church, and only the Catholic Church (well, ok, Orthodoxy too), that one finds out what it really means to be a man. You should check out the Theology of the Body… www.theologyofthebody.com It’s not just about sex. It’s about what it means to truly be a man (and woman for the gals).

Now, for the part about other people not being perfect being a justification to go out and do whatever you want… that’s just not the case. Every one of them will be accountable to God for their actions in due time. Don’t worry about them. Just do your best to live as a Christian man. Trust me, there’s a lot more to being a man than going to bars and clubs and picking up chicks. That’s a perversion of the natural drives that God has given us guys. Might I suggest you look at the lives of some of the great saints? These guys were no pansies… Have you ever heard Fr. Corapi preach? Now that’s a MAN. See if you can get ahold of some of his stuff. I’ll pray for ya, buddy. Try to not think of other people. Just do what you know is right and let God handle the hypocrites.

 

[Salena]

SocaliCatholic:

if anyone out there can relate to how I feel I feel like dumping catholicism becuase it feels like it has cut of my manhood. I do not feel like a honest man anymore but someone who is trying to fit in to a culuture of people who sacrifice honesty for pretending to a nice person only at church and then an evil doer on the outside. I am not saying I am sinless myself but I feel like I cant be honest with people anymore becuase eveyone at church is so fake and when I rebuke their fake ideals they always get upset because I have challenged their world views. If nobody at church is perfect then I should be able to go out and gamble and drink, smoke ect why waste any time trying to pretend to be a good person. I am always so worried now about doing something wrong I dont want to do anything anymore. I cant even go to outside without fear of giving into tempation to go to a rated r movie like farenheit 911 or go to clubs and picking up on chicks. Why not just end my life altogether

I’m somewhat confused about your thread?? How are these people fake and what exactly have you said to them to upset them? What world views have you chanllenged and why? And how can what people say cut at your manhood? What are there fake ideas and how do know they are so bad outside of Church functions?
I have been Catholic all my life, but most of my family members are from other denominations, so I have visited many other churchs. There are fakes in all of them. Humans are sinful creatures and tend to put their “best foot forward.”
Why would you walk away from the one true Church because of a few people who upset you?
I go to Mass for me and not for others. I may disagree with some of their views, but disagree is all I can do…I can’t change how they feel or think and that works both ways. I love the Church and no one can change that.
You should really rethink why you go to Mass in the first place and if these people upset you like you say then find another parish or go to Mass, be polite and don’t get into debates with other members. You aren’t there to please them and neither are they there to please you.
I hate that you feel so hopeless right now, but I can relate. We have all been theret at some time in our lives.
God Bless,
Gina

 

[Hananiah]

SocaliCatholic:

if anyone out there can relate to how I feel I feel like dumping catholicism becuase it feels like it has cut of my manhood.

I really can’t relate to this. I have gained a great deal of restraint, self-control, patience, and fortitude (all considered manly qualities) as a direct result of my conversion to Catholicism. Moreover, I have become a cutlure warrior and a teacher, and would gladly become a martyr if circumstances required. I am more a man today than I would have been 10 years from now without the Catholic faith.

SocaliCatholic:

I am not saying I am sinless myself but I feel like I cant be honest with people anymore becuase eveyone at church is so fake and when I rebuke their fake ideals they always get upset because I have challenged their world views.

Could you clarify what you mean by this?

If nobody at church is perfect then I should be able to go out and gamble and drink, smoke ect why waste any time trying to pretend to be a good person.

This is a non-sequitur. Jesus called his generation perverse and wicked. He said that the majority of people went to hell. He said that his disciples would stick out like a sore thumb in the midst of the rest of the world. In sum, there’s no reason to do what everyone else is doing.

As an aside, there’s nothing wrong with drinking in moderation and smoking a cigar every once in a while. It’s probably a sin to let oneself become addicted to cigarettes, however.

I am always so worried now about doing something wrong I dont want to do anything anymore. I cant even go to outside without fear of giving into tempation to go to a rated r movie like farenheit 911 or go to clubs and picking up on chicks.

Well, you probably shouldn’t do things like see r rated movies (well, depends on what the r is for) and go to clubs and pick up chicks. There are plenty of good clean fun things to do in this world. To name a few: baseball, basketball, football, skiing, swimming, playing music, biking, running, reading, writing, and drawing. Besides, you’re far more likely to meet worthwhile women doing these things than you are to do so at bars and dance clubs.

SocaliCatholic:

Why not just end my life altogether

Get The Dialogue of St. Catherine of Sienna from Tan books. Read about the 4 principle torments of the damned. Then you’ll know why one should never even consider suicide.

 

[SocaliCatholic]

the main gist to clarify to those who sin less than me i confess that my faith feels like an imposing force that is pushing down on my head with the rules and regulations that are causing me to feel inadequate to be a member of the church mostly becuase i do not have the self control to restrain myself from the habits i had before i converted to my faith. specifically i am still young and want to do the things people my age do before i become too old. and i honestly feel like now that i am a part of this church my chances of going to hell have actually increased rather than diminished becasue i am still sinful but my accountability has proportionately increased with all this knoweldge i have gained and to top it off i just started serving as a eucharistic minister. this self restraint againt temptaion is causing me depression and i want to die. as i see it my life is worthless and i have trouble understanding why God made me in the first place if i am so ungrateful for my blessings and yet i find life even more unfulfilling now as a cathloilic becuase i have had to cutt of all of my bad habits. i dont know where life beings. is life as a cathlolic ever supposed to be fun? I thought my life would get better before i converted. its really pathetic. to top it off, my protestant friends, as erroneous as their theology is, i miss the social group of friends i used to have when i was going to that baptist chruch. where do i make catholic friends who are normal? where are the normal catholic chicks? are they all at the clubs rebelling like I want to?

 

[mjdonnelly]

It is not a sin to go out and enjoy yourself. Even if you have a couple drinks and meet women. The sin comes in when you drink to excess and lust after these women or sleep with them. Strip bars are sinful under any circumstances.

Gambling, I think it is just another game, as long as you know you aren’t going to win and you are just going for the fun of it. I have loads of fun going to the horse races and betting a dollar on a hores in each race. It was $10 for the day. I lost each time, but it sure was fun to cheer for the horse I picked. Most parishes have bingo. That is gambling. I think gambling becomes a sin when you do it often enough where it starts to rule your life and other more important items start to suffer. If someone went to church bingo and lost their food money, rent money, or whatever, it would still be sinful. Even though it is supporting the church.

 

[SocaliCatholic]

mjdonnelly:

It is not a sin to go out and enjoy yourself. Even if you have a couple drinks and meet women. The sin comes in when you drink to excess and lust after these women or sleep with them. Strip bars are sinful under any circumstances.

Gambling, I think it is just another game, as long as you know you aren’t going to win and you are just going for the fun of it. I have loads of fun going to the horse races and betting a dollar on a hores in each race. It was $10 for the day. I lost each time, but it sure was fun to cheer for the horse I picked. Most parishes have bingo. That is gambling. I think gambling becomes a sin when you do it often enough where it starts to rule your life and other more important items start to suffer. If someone went to church bingo and lost their food money, rent money, or whatever, it would still be sinful. Even though it is supporting the church.

thank you for the post.

my biggest problem feels like its over whether or not i should continue playing poker. i have few loves than poker, and yet it is probably and evil game; taking money from others eats away the soul. i never understood why the catholic church does not condemn it altogether. maybe bingo fund raising? started when i was 19 until and played till i was 25. since then i had played so much that i was consitently beating limits like $15-30 hold em and no limit hold em. it is particularry frustrating becuase i spent so much time and money trying to master the game, and now that i can consistently win a signifgant amount of money, i had to give it up becuase i am convicted it is sinful to take money from other people, even though the catechism speicfically does not condemn it in moderation, and most of the peoples money that i was taking were recrational gambling white colar types or retired folk at the upper limits. it just feels evil to play now becuase when i sucked at the game, i won becuase i was lucky, but now when i play everyone feels like a sucker. the stupid part of it is nobody cares when you loose, but once you start winning others get jealous and become haters.

 

[Aris]

Without making a judgment on you, this thread reminds me of the rich young man that approached our Lord Jesus one day asking how he might be saved.

When he was asked if he was following faithfully the commandments of God, he said yes. But when he was asked to give up all his wealth, he was saddened and turned to leave.

Everybody is being asked to take up his cross and give up something of himself away for the Lord. For myself it is the same. I love the “good life” and would like to play around. I pray I will not fail just as I pray you will not.

Only in this way, can we truly find meaning. True happiness can only happen if you are emotionally detached from worldy things. I think you are on your way. Persevere. We will pray for you.

 

[PKK]

SocaliCatholic:

where do i make catholic friends who are normal? where are the normal catholic chicks? are they all at the clubs rebelling like I want to?

I always like this statement. Please clarify for me what normal is? Seems to me that if you came to the Catholic Church expecting all sins to be washed away, so that you can continue on as you were, you came for the wrong reasons. Sins can be washed away in the sacrament of reconciliation (confession), but the sacrament also call us to change for the betterment of ourselves and others. Does this mean we get it right the very first time NO. We may need to confess the same sin several times before we get a particular sin under control. If you really want to learn who you are you need to find yourself in Jesus search for him not the chicks. He will send you the right woman at the right time. Women and young ladies are not chicks, the very term is demeaning to our gender, and what it is that you expect from us. If you want to meet people you need to participate in the activities that the church or diocese have to offer, there are many, instead of just going to Mass. Our Mass is not exactly intended as a social time. Or better yet if you are not satisfied with what activities the church has to offer start one that would meet your needs and the needs of others your age. As I work in a church office I hear this complaint alot that the Church doesn’t offer what I need (socially). When we respond with are you willing to see this activity accomplished 99% of them turn away. They want the activity without any effort put into seeing it done. Put your energy into living for Christ, and you will see a difference.

May God grace you with the strength, and patience, and good guidance to see you to him.

 

[mjdonnelly]

If you are much more experienced and are able to take advantage of the other players, you are giving into greed. You should probably move on to play against experienced opponents. You may still be winning alot, but you’re not exploiting someone else doing it.

In tournament play, the object is to win the tournament. If the other players aren’t good enough, well, can’t do much about that.

You may need to just move on to new things, other challenges. The biggest part is that you realized what you were doing and decided to change.

 

[SocaliCatholic]

PKK:

Women and young ladies are not chicks, the very term is demeaning to our gender, and what it is that you expect from us…

There is nothing demeaning about the slang usage of chicks. What historical oppresion incited from the usage of chicks are you reffering to? Please clarify.

On the contrary, what is it women want from men? Would it be absurd to assert that they tend to objectify men on the size of their wallet?

 

[SocaliCatholic]

Aris:

Without making a judgment on you, this thread reminds me of the rich young man that approached our Lord Jesus one day asking how he might be saved.

When he was asked if he was following faithfully the commandments of God, he said yes. But when he was asked to give up all his wealth, he was saddened and turned to leave.

Everybody is being asked to take up his cross and give up something of himself away for the Lord. For myself it is the same. I love the “good life” and would like to play around. I pray I will not fail just as I pray you will not.

Only in this way, can we truly find meaning. True happiness can only happen if you are emotionally detached from worldy things. I think you are on your way. Persevere. We will pray for you.

I am thankful for what I have but am by no means rich. I live in the ghetto of LA. Poker at best is fluctuating side bonus money.

 

[ferdgoodfellow]

Hey Social,

You bring up a lot of points that need to be addressed, but one the following caught my eye, having been there myself:

Why not just end my life altogether

and

*this self restraint againt temptaion is causing me depression and i want to die. *

Sounds like you are quite bummed out. While you certainly have numerous real and situational issue to sort out, I urge you to consider the possibility that you are at least borderline clinically depressed and in need of professional help. I lived for year not really running on all cylinders and never quite finding the joy in life. Turns out that, in addition to situational things that were bringing me down, I am genetically predisposed to depression. The combo of meds and cognitive therapy really turned my life around. That and also some timely spiritual direction. It really took all three to bring me out of it.

Have you considered getting some help?

writing as a recovering pretty bummed out person myself,

Ferd

 

[SocaliCatholic]

PKK:

Our Mass is not exactly intended as a social time.

Agreed. However, where are all the young groups at church? If our church is so great, why arent there more vibrant, outreaching young adult groups? Or is this sola journey

 

[elgom]

There are nice Catholic women out there. I don’t live in your part of the country, but if you go on Catholicexchange.com they have a link to a Catholic on-line dating service. This is for people who are looking for good Catholic mates. I understand it is very successful.

Gambling, however, can be an addiction and addictions and depressions can be spiritual evil touching you. You should also read about some of the exorcism experiences of Father Amorath.

I really think you need a very good spiritual director. The fact that you are writing to us and you are a Eucharistic Minister you do understand the truth and beauty of the Church. If you are a new convert and you have left very socially engaging denominations this may be adding to the strain.

Our Lord Jesus Christ is trully present in the Blessed Sacrament, I would highly recommend frequent visits to Jesus and he will show you the way to combat these problems. Don’t look around at all the other people because we all are sinners. The church is full of “practicing” Catholics. We haven’t gotten it right either.
I will pray for you.

 

[ferdgoodfellow]

Hey Social,

Had some more thots, in no particular order (disegard any that are not applicable):

Every man needs a good woman (and every woman needs a good man, but that is a whole other topic!).

Anyway, why not pray for what you need? I have three daughters and a son and I occassionally remember to pray for their future spouses, assuming they aren’t heading into the religious life.

Also, seems to me that you quite naturally are little ticked at God. Here He led you into the Catholic faith and here you are experiencing these problems and needs. What gives? I suggest having it out with God. Go to him, maybe even before the blessed sacrament, and letting Him know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to yell at Him. He’s got big shoulders and can take it. And besides, there is nothing that you can do or say that will make him love you any less (the converse is true as well, but, again, that is a whole other topic!).

Cordially,

Ferd

 

[montanaman]

i honestly feel like now that i am a part of this church my chances of going to hell have actually increased rather than diminished becasue i am still sinful but my accountability has proportionately increased with all this knoweldge

This really struck me. I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. I live on the other side of the country in another decadent city–D.C.–and trying to wear this Catholicism sincerely is truly trying. (Sorry for the alliteration…) There’s a lifestyle here that would be so easy to jump into, and therefore trying to be a good Catholic seems like a really weak, life cop-out. The only thing that keeps me from living that lifestyle is the knowledge that it always leads to deeper unfulfillment. I know. I’ve been there.

It sounds like you’ve got a confidence problem, spiritually speaking. God is far away, but clubbing hotties are just down the street. I don’t know if you’re like me, but an overactive interior life helps me “do my own thing,” and after a while the worldly attractions are put into perspective.

Just hang in there. Pray. (I too feel “fake” for even suggesting such a thing. It’s not in my nature to be so optimistic or hopeful). Before too long, you’ll realize there is no better alternative. Maybe that’s fatalistic, but it’s the state of things. This world often sucks, but there IS a bit of peace to be found in the Faith.