Why I identify as homosexual even while living chastely

[raaucoin]

I have read much on this forum about why someone living chastely would call herself homosexual (gay, lesbian or other) and identify with a sinful act, when someone who has the propensity to murder but doesn’t- doesn’t identify themselves as a murderer (or you can insert whatever sin). At five years old,I didn’t have a word for it, but I knew when I grew up I wasn’t going to be a mommy and daddy I knew i was going to grow up and be a “mommy and mommy”. And I knew somehow I should never say that to anyone. At about 12 or 13yrs, I was mortified to learn that “fags and queers” were generally hated and even more devastated when I learned what those words mean. More than ever I knew to keep my mouth shut. At that time, I wasn’t "sexually " interested in females. I didn’t know what that was. I still just thought I’d grow up, live with a woman and have someone to be close to and who I was special to.I was more comfortable with other girls. I liked taking care of my friends who were girls.As my friends started wanting to have boyfriends, I didn’t. I found other girls that I wanted special friendships with. As I got closer to 15yrs. The sexual attractions started. I talked to my mom and she said it was a “Phase” I’d grow out of that. I never did.She tried but couldn’t make me at ease. I DID NOT WANT TO BE THIS WAY.Some where along the way I learned that it was more appropriate to call “fags and queers” homosexuals. And desperate to understand my “sickness” I turned to the leading association of psychiatrists. In their info.( the “experts”) I learned 2 things that had a great impact:1. homosexuality was no longer considered mental illness.and 2. homosexuals were defined as individuals whose emotional, mental,(psychological) and physical attractions were primarily for those of the same sex.You’ll notice it didn’t specifically say they had sex with…in fact it said they may or may not engage in sexual activity.—That was a turning point for me. I wasn’t “sick”, a freak, a monster. I was a “homosexual” according to the official definition.As I got older, all of my efforts to change those feelings were useless. Depressed and miserable, I came upon new info. that to be happy and well adjusted one should accept and embrace her sexuality and many gay couples lived happy and fulfilling lives. And so I accepted,embraced and entered a relationship. For almost 25 yrs I was an “out” lesbian.
An amazing process inspired by the Holy Spirit led to my conversion of heart and mind and soul . i have returned to the Church and embraced the teaching of the Church and the will of God. I"m active in my parish and live in loving obedience to Christ present in myPastor, Archbishop, and Church.
But the fact of the matter is that according to the definition that I formed my identity with as well as in the eyes of culture and society in which I live, I am a Lesbian. It is not about sex or no sex. It is a matter of how I relate to the world and ways that I can not relate. Sort of like the reasons given for why a man with deeply rooted homosexual tendencies is not suited for the priesthood as has been explained by the Church regarding admission to seminaries.
No I don’t introduce myself as a lesbian to every one I meet. But again, the fact remains that I am primarily attracted on all levels to other females.That by popular definition makes me gay.I can not cut that off of me any more than someone who is straight can cut off that which defines them as heterosexual.If a straight person says “I’m heterosexual” he isn’t saying "I have the tendency to cheat on my wife, or have random sex with strangers or even a sexual encounter outside of marriage. He is simply stating a fact about part of his personhood. Just the same for those of us who say I am gay. We who are and are chaste that identify as such ARE NOT associating ourselves with sinful behavior.
I am also a Cajun woman. It is a part of me- in this case definitely genetically,- and culturally and socially. If I never spoke French again, never ate boudin, or shrimp boulettes again, never fished or hunted again, I would still be Cajun. It is part of how I relate to the world around me. I am a sister to a brother and sister. My relationship with my siblings absolutely causes me to relate to the world in ways that are different than how an only child would. I am not a parent, I relate to the world differently than my sister and brother with children do. I am many things and in everything that I am every aspect comes into play. My emotional, spiritual,social, mental, physical and yes sexual components are always with me. Each of those are expressed differently in whatever situation and to different degrees, but all are integrated as part of who I am.
I also need to say that yes, my homosexuality is a gift. It has taken a while to come to that. But because it is something I have to live with, and deal with it allows me something very real to offer up to the Lord for the sake of His passion.It has allowed me a small share in His agony in the garden. It has afforded me the opportunity to not only say but to live “Father, not my will, but yours…” and it has given me a precious intimacy with Him knowing what its like to have everything in me feel so contrary to what I know God would have me do(or in this case not do).
Now, when I admit to being a lesbian (and yes some people actually ask) my yes to that isn’t a proclamation of a sin, it is a declaration of faith because it is also followed by witness to the teachings of the Church and the awesome Power of God to give us what we need to live as He would have us no matter the issue or cause. I am a lesbian, a professional, a musician, a sister, daughter, an aunt, a friend, a child of God and His Church,A Cajun, an American. In all of those things, I am a sinner and a saint.

 

[LemonAndLime]

A very inspirational post, I don’t see a problem with describing yourself as a lesbian if that is your sole sexual attraction and you don’t believe you can stop being who you are.

Don’t let people who are openly gay and part of the lifestyle tell you that you can only describe yourself as a lesbian if you are sexually active, and don’t let people tell you that you cannot identify yourself as one if you are chaste. Reclaim the word.

It’s a hard cross to bear and I understand some of what you go through, may God continue to bless and keep you sister.

 

[EasterJoy]

It is too bad that when one self-identifies as a lesbian or a gay that one has to add the qualification that one is a chaste lesbian or a chaste gay…although to be honest, it is too much taken for granted that everyone over the age of consent is of course sexually active, given the opportunity to do so without losing social status or catching a disease. (These are the times we live in.) It will would nicer if you could just simply tell people why it is pointless to try to set you up on dates with the opposite sex.

Having known as many homosexuals as I have, I think this is a gift greater than “something to offer up.” Maybe it is like all the great poets who struggled with depression and didn’t want the depression medicated, lest they lose their muse. Whatever your muse is, I think it comes part and parcel with a certain set of temptations, no matter who you are. Passions are not “safe” things, but they are necessary. As you have discovered, OP, your particular passions are an effable “part of who you are”. If you are being chaste, your passions, including your sexual orientation, are nothing to be ashamed of. If you are not being chaste or not protective of chastity in general, well, that is something that is available to every sexual orientation.

(And no, homosexuality doesn’t mean you have great fashion sense, any more than major clinical depression makes you into a poet. I wasn’t saying that!!)

 

[Defender1]

I hope you do not get insulted after reading what I have to say . I must say that God would never make you a homosexual whether you were male or female . Now Many would argue that God may indeed have said things in the bible against homosexual actions but never condemned homosexuality . However, you and I are on this planet of course because of God but he used a man and a woman to create us . There is not one person who has ever been or living today that has been born of two of the same gender whether it be male or female .Now God preaches chastity in the Bible of course . In 1Cor 7 (My bible not with me )Paul tells men and woman the advice for woman and men of God to be chaste . Even Christ does in the gospels “those who can accept this ought to accept it " .A Call for clergy And certainly not homosexuals . I am sorry if you are offended . I am no West Boro Baptist church member preaching hate for homosexuals . I disagree with the very existence of the homosexual because God never had them in his plans . That is why when I see gay marriage arguments I get little tense because I know that if the world was nothing but homosexuals humanity would end .That is why God never made them , they made themselves the way they are.If we ok marriage for homosexuals then whats next we can marry our pets ,or so called"transgenders” can marry each other ? I will pray for you and other homosexuals . God Bless , Frankie

 

[LemonAndLime]

I hope you do not get insulted after reading what I have to say . I must say that God would never make you a homosexual whether you were male or female . Now Many would argue that God may indeed have said things in the bible against homosexual actions but never condemned homosexuality . However, you and I are on this planet of course because of God but he used a man and a woman to create us . There is not one person who has ever been or living today that has been born of two of the same gender whether it be male or female .Now God preaches chastity in the Bible of course . In 1Cor 7 (My bible not with me )Paul tells men and woman the advice for woman and men of God to be chaste . Even Christ does in the gospels "those who can accept this ought to accept it " . This calling is for clergy not just any Christian . And certainly not homosexuals . I ma sorry if you are offended . I am no West Boro Baptist church member preaching hate for homosexuals . I disagree with the very existence of the homosexual because never had them in his plans . That is why when I see gay marriage arguments I get little tense because I know that if the world was nothing but homosexual humanity would end .That is why God never made them , they made themselves the way they are .

I will pray for you and other homosexuals . God Bless , Frankie

First, no one knows God’s plan. Not even the Son knew it fully.

Secondly, if people choose to be gay, why would someone chose? Why would someone chose to be gay in another country where they are killed for it?

 

[Defender1]

First, no one knows God’s plan. Not even the Son knew it fully.

Secondly, if people choose to be gay, why would someone chose? Why would someone chose to be gay in another country where they are killed for it?

They chose to be gay . Reread my post I edited it while you were making this one. God does not make people that are gay , they make themselves that way . There are a number of ways why this happens . Parental upbringing is a key factor . God would not make a man and a man be together . It is not humane . Do I need to go into detail as to why it is not ?AS well as tow females in that way is not humane . IT is a perversion to masturbate . And that is what female homosexuality entails .

 

[Bluegoat]

Yes, just like some people choose to be born with a short temper, or with a physical disability

Raacoin, I think you are pretty wise in your approach. While I think it is not good to define our whole selves by our sexuality, I have seen some bad situations with people who simply refused o acknowledge their sexuality was probably something they were going to have to live with and even simply denied that there was an issue.

As the oracle says, “Know thyself.”

 

[LemonAndLime]

They chose to be gay . Reread my post I edited it while you were making this one. God does not make people that are gay , they make themselves that way . There are a number of ways why this happens . Parental upbringing is a key factor . God would not make a man and a man be together . It is not humane . Do I need to go into detail as to why it is not ?AS well as tow females in that way is not humane . IT is a perversion to masturbate . And that is what female homosexuality entails .

Just like God would not make someone who was disabled, mentally handicapped, infertile?

Female homosexuality isn’t humane and leads to masterbation? Why have you singled women out?

 

[Seatuck]

Consider this explanation of why we don’t want to attach certain labels to those who suffer from same sex attraction.

couragerc.net/Catholic_Language.html

 

[Blacksword]

I hope you do not get insulted after reading what I have to say . I must say that God would never make you a homosexual whether you were male or female . Now Many would argue that God may indeed have said things in the bible against homosexual actions but never condemned homosexuality . However, you and I are on this planet of course because of God but he used a man and a woman to create us . There is not one person who has ever been or living today that has been born of two of the same gender whether it be male or female .Now God preaches chastity in the Bible of course . In 1Cor 7 (My bible not with me )Paul tells men and woman the advice for woman and men of God to be chaste . Even Christ does in the gospels “those who can accept this ought to accept it " .A Call for clergy And certainly not homosexuals . I am sorry if you are offended . I am no West Boro Baptist church member preaching hate for homosexuals . I disagree with the very existence of the homosexual because God never had them in his plans . That is why when I see gay marriage arguments I get little tense because I know that if the world was nothing but homosexuals humanity would end .That is why God never made them , they made themselves the way they are.If we ok marriage for homosexuals then whats next we can marry our pets ,or so called"transgenders” can marry each other ? I will pray for you and other homosexuals . God Bless , Frankie

Seriously? I mean really? I think some homosexuals might, might have a degree of choice over their innate desires, but these are people more often who identify as “bisexual”…most homosexuals do not chose their innate sexual orientation any more than you and I choose to be straight, we are who we are.

But more to the point, this is a decidedly unnecessary post. Raacoin is to be prayed for, lifted up, and encouraged for this heavy cross she is bearing, not given a lecture. I think as a lesbian woman, she probably has a good deal more insight into what it really is like to be a lesbian than you or I do.

Raacoin, thank you for your testimony, it is encouraging for all to hear of someone who has such a love and desire for Christ and his Church as to overcome such a difficult personal obstacle to faith that your orientation proves to be for many others who have SSA. I will pray for your continued strength, and your joy and peace in the Lord!

 

[Debora123]

I hope you do not get insulted after reading what I have to say . I must say that God would never make you a homosexual whether you were male or female . Now Many would argue that God may indeed have said things in the bible against homosexual actions but never condemned homosexuality . However, you and I are on this planet of course because of God but he used a man and a woman to create us . There is not one person who has ever been or living today that has been born of two of the same gender whether it be male or female .Now God preaches chastity in the Bible of course . In 1Cor 7 (My bible not with me )Paul tells men and woman the advice for woman and men of God to be chaste . Even Christ does in the gospels “those who can accept this ought to accept it " .A Call for clergy And certainly not homosexuals . I am sorry if you are offended . I am no West Boro Baptist church member preaching hate for homosexuals . I disagree with the very existence of the homosexual because God never had them in his plans . That is why when I see gay marriage arguments I get little tense because I know that if the world was nothing but homosexuals humanity would end .**That is why God never made them , they made themselves the way they are.**If we ok marriage for homosexuals then whats next we can marry our pets ,or so called"transgenders” can marry each other ? I will pray for you and other homosexuals . God Bless , Frankie

What do you mean “they make themselves?”

Just curious.

 

[Debora123]

**But more to the point, this is a decidedly unnecessary post. Raacoin is to be prayed for, lifted up, and encouraged for this heavy cross she is bearing, not given a lecture. ** I think as a lesbian woman, she probably has a good deal more insight into what it really is like to be a lesbian than you or I do.

Yes.

 

[EasterJoy]

They chose to be gay . Reread my post I edited it while you were making this one. God does not make people that are gay , they make themselves that way . There are a number of ways why this happens . Parental upbringing is a key factor . God would not make a man and a man be together . It is not humane . Do I need to go into detail as to why it is not ?AS well as tow females in that way is not humane . IT is a perversion to masturbate . And that is what female homosexuality entails .

Wait. Do you realize that you said both that being gay is a choice and that being gay is a result of parental upbringing? So you’re saying we choose how our parents bring us up? Or…what were you saying?

Whatever your answer, you did not note that you were merely expressing your own opinion. The Church does not teach that homosexuals choose their orientation. The Church does not blame parents for homosexuality in their offspring. The Church also does not teach that all trials of this life are chosen by the person who has them. That’s you talking, not the Church.

 

[Elizabeth502]

The Church teaches that neither heterosexuality nor homosexuality is the core of identity.
The Church, including in papal encyclicals quoted elsewhere on other threads, teaches that our essential identity is contained within our relationship to God. We are adopted sons and daughters of God. That is our identity.

I am Not Gay . . . I am David
David Prosen
From the Jan/Feb 2011 Issue of Lay Witness Magazine
Are people born “gay” or do they choose to be gay?
The answer to both questions is no—although in many passionate debates generated by this topic, we are quick to dismiss objectivity. In reality, these questions provide a smoke screen to a much bigger problem that is pervasive in our society, in religious circles, politics, and clinical settings. The problem I speak of is the idea that homosexuality is an identity.
I used to believe I was a “gay” person. I had been attracted to the same gender for as long as I could remember. Because this attraction was present from early on in my life, without my conscious choice, I concluded that I must have been born this way. After all, that’s a logical conclusion . . . right?
Although I didn’t freely choose same-sex attractions, I did willfully choose to act upon them. My decision to sin brought me intense pain, loneliness, and—worst of all—separation from God. The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith explained this reality in a statement that observed, “As in every moral disorder, homosexual activity prevents one’s own fulfillment and happiness by acting contrary to the creative wisdom of God. The Church, in rejecting erroneous opinions regarding homosexuality, does not limit personal freedom and dignity realistically and authentically understood.”[1]

Eventually, in my brokenness, I responded to the Lord’s loving call to forgiveness and healing. He has brought me through the valley of shame and out of the darkness of my past and shined His light of truth upon the many lies I believed about myself—especially the one that claimed that I was a “gay” person.
Defining Terms
By defining myself as a “gay” male, I had taken on a false identity. Any label such as “lesbian,” “bisexual,” or even “homosexual” insinuates a type of person equivalent to male or female. This is simply not true. One is not a same-sex attraction, but instead experiences this attraction.
In his book, Growth into Manhood, Alan Medinger shows that homosexual tendencies and behaviors have been around for thousands of years, but the idea of a homosexual identity only began to evolve about 150 years ago with the emergence of the term “homosexual.”[2]

In a later study, Medinger further demonstrates his findings, revealing a number of untruths that tend to surface when one accepts homosexuality as an identity:
+I must have been born this way.
+If I was born that way, God made me this way.
+If God made me this way, how can there be anything wrong with it?
+It’s in my nature and I must be true to my nature.
+If it’s my nature, I can’t change.
+If I try to change I would be trying to go against my nature and that would be harmful. +Accepting myself as gay feels so good—I feel like a thousand pound load has been lifted off of my back—so it must be okay.
+If people can’t accept my being gay, then something is wrong with them.
+If people can’t accept my being gay, then they don’t accept me because that’s who I am.[3]
When I read these, I was floored. I believed each and every statement deep down to my core. When I was engaged in this lifestyle, it made perfect sense to go along with what felt natural. However, it was logical only because it appeared to be truth. In reality, lies had to be built upon lies for them to add up to something with the semblance of truth.
I believed I was gay. But I was also certain that I didn’t choose this for myself, and so I believed that God must have made me this way.

[cont’d]…

 

[Elizabeth502]

…
How could a God of love create me this way and then condemn me to hell? I began to do what many other Christians struggling with same-sex attraction do and searched for “pro-gay” theologies for explanations. I desperately wanted to be in a loving relationship with the same gender, but at the same time, I had a gnawing feeling in my heart that this was wrong. Looking back, I believe that my search for truth and struggle against accepting this lifestyle was ultimately the way in which the Holy Spirit convicted me. Still, this gnawing feeling—that same-sex attraction was not God’s plan for my life—was not easy for me to reconcile with because I believed that my sexuality alone was my identity.
Ignorance of this distinction is dangerous. My false beliefs regarding my identity deterred me from accepting the conviction in my heart from the Holy Spirit.
Only after I accepted the truth that acting on homosexual attractions was a sin did I begin to ask for the strength and the grace to carry that cross—and the Lord abundantly poured these upon me. Several years later, He showed me that homosexuality was a false identity that I had embraced. And at this point, my integral healing began as I searched out who I really was. In that searching process, I realized that I did not fully identify with either gender.
I can never adequately express the tremendous joy I felt when I began to internally recognize and accept the fact that I am a man, I am masculine, and I do belong in the world of men. At the same time this recognition occurred to me, my attraction to men continued to decrease drastically and my attraction to women increased.
Identity and the Church
At the beginning of this article, I mentioned the discussion over whether persons are born homosexual or if they choose to be. Neither is true because same-sex attraction is an experience—not a type of person. Accepting homosexuality as an identity, which has largely been affirmed in our culture, brings so much confusion. In order for a Christian to justify homosexual behavior, he or she needs to alter and contort Sacred Scripture.
Many individuals from within are trying to force the Catholic Church to change her stance toward homosexuality because it seems like discrimination against those who are just “being themselves.” But it is not discrimination when we identify and seek to correct falsely held beliefs.
The problem has not just affected those dissenting in our Church. There are very good Catholics and even good priests who wrongly assert that people cannot change their sexual orientation. These people may have the best of intentions, but for whatever reason they have bought into the lie that homosexuality is a type of person.
The Church’s response to those suffering with same-sex attraction offers us this perspective:
The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition (CCC, no. 2358).
There is hope for those who have same-sex attraction, and we must not abandon efforts to help others understand the truth. This is not to say that God will “change” His creation, the person, because He did not make them this way or intend for them to experience this attraction. Rather, God can change the person’s way of thinking by revealing the lie that the individual has accepted and assimilated into their sense of self.
Once the lie is exposed, wounds that led to this lie such as abuse, rejection, or lack of affirmation in one’s gender identity can be addressed, healing can begin, and the person’s true identity can emerge. When this healing process begins, the attraction to the opposite sex for many has increased.
Courage, the Catholic support group for those with same-sex attraction, as well as many Christians, refrain from using words such as “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” “transgender,” or even “homosexual.” Words can have powerful effects. Because these words are labels which insinuate that homosexuality is an identity, they reinforce untruths and continue to escalate the problems in our society and our Church. As Catholic Christians, I encourage each of us to be careful with our speech and eliminate the use of labels and instead use the words “same-sex attraction” which more accurately describe the experience that these men and women go through.
When we were baptized, the sky opened up just like it did upon Jesus, and spiritually, God the Father, the Creator of the universe, looked at you and me and said, ‘You are my beloved Son.’ You stopped being a creation and you became a son of the Father by the power of the Holy Spirit.[4]
Talk about the power of words! In Jesus, we are sons and daughters of the Creator of the universe. He truly loves us more than we could ever imagine. This is our true identity; this is who each of us truly is.
Isaiah 43:4 states, “You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. . . .”
I am grateful to God for showing me my true identity in Him. Now, I embrace my masculinity and know that I am a man of God. In Jesus, I know I am a beloved son of God who is uniquely and wondrously created, and whose name is David.
Alan Medinger, Growth into Manhood (Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press, 2000).
Medinger, “Calling Oneself ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ Clouds one’s Self-Perception” from Same-Sex Attraction: A Parent’s Guide. Eds. John F. Harvey, OSFS, and Gerard V. Bradley (South Bend, IN: St. Augustine’s Press, 2003) p. 173.

 

[Elizabeth502]

[cont’d]…

OUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST
If all we have been saying is true, then the only way in which I am going to find out who I really am, and who I am intended to become, is to get rightly related to the God who, in his loving purposes, knows my true identity and longs to impart that character to me which goes with that identity.
It does not mean that my earthly relationships, which may well give me some sense of identity, become unimportant. The family into which I was born and by which I was nurtured may, or may not, be a very important part of my life, depending on my childhood experiences. The country in which I have lived, or the race to which I belong, may mean much to me. I may have gained much in the way of identity from my work or profession, or from my friendships. My sexuality as a woman or a man may be an important part of who I am. However, in becoming a member of God’s family I will find an identity that has a prior claim on who I am. In submitting to that claim, however, I will also find a greater depth to all my other relationships. I will also find a security in the knowledge of who I am that no one can take from me. David Hyman, of the Overseas Missionary Fellowship in Australia, says:
Our identity as Christians is in Christ. If it is not it must be in something else—our nationality, our family, our friends, our possessions, our job. When all these are removed we have nothing, unless we have our identity founded and fixed in Jesus.
One of the most helpful articles I have come across on the subject of homosexuality is ‘Out of the closet and into chastity’, an article by David C. Morrison in This Rock, July-August, 1994. I quote from it as it highlights the problems we face if we choose to define our identity primarily from anything else other than our relationship to Christ. David, a former practising homosexual, tells of his conversion to chastity through Catholicism’s teaching on homosexuality, and the ministry of the Courage movement, providing a ministry of compassion for those in a similar situation.* He describes the view he had come to, after a decade of reflection, of the change in emphasis that takes place when someone moves from being a person with just a homosexual orientation, to being ‘gay’. He writes:
If you are a Christian who has made this choice, I believe there is reason to examine your heart for evidence of idolatry. I have observed that once a person has made a decision that he is not merely homosexually orientated, but is gay, then orientation tends to be a dominant aspect of his identity, and everything else—society, faith, institutions, and even God—will be viewed and judged through that particular lens. Homosexual orientation is not a choice for most people, but being gay is, and it is this choice which motivates homosexual groups ranging from Dignity to Act Up.
Such a wrong understanding of our identity, I believe, is the source of these disastrous errors, because rooting ourselves in anything outside of Christ undermines our efforts at obedience or following him.
In a very thoughtful and sympathetic way, David tells how his own decision to make Christ the focus of his identity and to live in obedience to him, had led to his own inner freedom, growth and ministry, hinting at the long emotional struggle and sacrifice that this had involved. He says:
We are summoned, like the apostle Paul to pour ourselves out for the good of the Kingdom, sharing with many the talents and fruit which, had we been heterosexually oriented, we might have shared primarily with spouse and children.
He finishes his article by quoting from Bonhoeffer’s The Cost of Discipleship:
And if we answer the call to discipleship, where will it lead us? What decisions and partings will it demand? To answer this question we will have to go to him, for only he knows the journey’s end. But we do know it will be a road of boundless mercy. Discipleship means joy.
So a choice has to be made. Am I willing to commit my life and future to him who alone knows fully all that I am and all that I could become? He desires to give me all that he has planned, that identity in which alone I can find complete fulfilment. He suffered on Calvary to make it possible. The missionary statesman, Dr E. Stanley Jones said, “One does not know who he is until he knows whose he is.”

 

[vera_dicere]

Good for you, Raaucoin! My only concern would be by announcing yourself as a lesbian would be leading other peopel to think the worst about your stance and lifestyle, if you explain your life as it stands and the sinfulness of action of same sex attraction, then you do yourself and those around a great service.

I have a friend who is in an openly lesbian relationship and they are talking about “marriage” - they live in an Euro country where civil unions of sorts are legal. She is also catholic and goes to mass each week with her life partner. I pray for the both of them that they can come to the same conclusion you have obviously so prayerfully done!

God bless you!

 

[Dale_M]

God does not make people that are gay , they make themselves that way . There are a number of ways why this happens . Parental upbringing is a key factor . God would not make a man and a man be together . It is not humane .

Whether God has, or hasn’t, made persons gay is speculative. We have no way of knowing. We do know that God allows suffering in the world and some say that homosexuality is burden to be shouldered, much as Christ carried his own cross.

The exact cause of homosexuality is still in dispute, but a biological basis can not be ruled out. Yes, God could prevent homosexuality if he wanted, however he could do the same thing for birth defects and yet doesn’t. This doesn’t mean that God wants babies to suffer from defects… he just allows it to happen.

As for the OP’s statement of faith, I applaud it. Some people at CAF take the position that a gay or lesbian person should keep that information private. However, Christ carried his cross through the center of Jerusalem for all to see. I think knowing that a person is carrying a burden, yet remaining faithful to God, is an encouragement for all of us.

 

[Elizabeth502]

As for the OP’s statement of faith, I applaud it.

As do I. But I think the theme of the OP was the “identity,” more than the admitted (and more important) faith. Hence, the reason I posted the excerpts from those who previously accepted an “identity” until they realized how toxic the embrace of such an “identity” was to their faith. Again, Catholic teaching is not that having SSA is an ontological state of being, nor is being heterosexual, but that despite attraction, our identity is sonship, with Christ, to the Father. That is far more core to our identity than any attraction, nationality, or other incidental aspect of experience, which is what the quoted authors discussed. If anything, the Church teaches that gender is more core to our identity than our sexuality per se.

Some people at CAF take the position that a gay or lesbian person should keep that information private.

Interesting. I have not read others criticizing anyone with SSA for making the information public. But I’ll take your word for it.

 

[Defender1]

Just like God would not make someone who was disabled, mentally handicapped, infertile?

Female homosexuality isn’t humane and leads to masterbation? Why have you singled women out?

You know as well as I do that those were do to birth defects usual caused by the parents . THeir not choices these people make however homosexuals make a choice to be that way .I pointed both out and you know that . I was stating woman homosexual acts as the obvious and not what GOd wants while men defy GOds intentions by having male homosexual sex .DOnt embrace something that is not morally ok .